by Annie Stone
I wonder whether Hunter feels the same. Are his feelings for me wilting, too, because I’m not returning them?
Hunter.
Just because I’ve realized I don’t love Carter anymore, it doesn’t mean I’m in love with Hunter…
The little voice inside my head calls me a fool, and my belly is almost vibrating it’s fluttering so hard. But…that doesn’t mean I’m in love, right? Or does it? Am I in love with Hunter?
I don’t know…
Fool, fool, fool, yells every cell in my body.
Am I in love with him after all?
I’m so confused. Why do emotions have to be so confusing? Do I love Hunter?
A little buzzing sound makes itself heard, like a thousand voices have united, only to get a single word, a three-letter word, out into the world.
My heart, my body, goes warm when I finally allow myself to feel what I’ve been carrying around inside me for months. God, how could I be so stupid? Why didn’t I recognize sooner what others have been telling me for such a long time? Why did I let myself get so caught up in my relationship with Carter?
I don’t know. But now I see that I was wrong. Now that I know who my feelings are actually aimed at, I can no longer keep them locked up inside me.
I grab the phone and call Shane. “What’s up?” he answers.
“When can I talk to Hunter?”
“Uh, why?”
“Just tell me, Shane!” Normally I’m a patient person, but today… No, today, I’m not patient.
“Tell me what’s so urgent,” he counters, amusement in his voice.
“Oh my God! You’re the worst!”
“No info from you, no info from me.”
“Asshole.”
“Don’t make it so difficult, sweetheart. Just spit it out.”
This guy… If I didn’t owe so much to him, I’d kill him.
“I want to talk to Hunter,” I say simply.
“Yes, I got that. About what?”
Seriously? You’re going to make me say it? “About… About the possibility of changing our relationship.”
He laughs. “Have you finally realized you’re in love with him?”
I clamp my mouth shut, which makes him laugh even harder. “That’s not very nice,” I say eventually.
“Oh, sweetheart, it’s taken you so long! I should have taken bets on when you’d come around.”
I really want to kill him. I hate the way he’s laughing at me. “When can I talk to Hunter?” I repeat, slowly and loudly.
“He finishes BUD/S the day after tomorrow. There’s a party with family invited. He was going to take me, but I bet he’d prefer if you took my place.”
The day after tomorrow…
Okay, maybe I can wait till then. Maybe!
13
Hunter
On our last day at BUD/S, a lot of people get visitors. I’m not expecting anybody, since nobody’s come to see me so far. I wonder what it would have been like if Mac had come to see me. Or even Carey.
“Hey, Killer!” Donovan calls over. I’m sitting a little off to the side, not wanting to interrupt everybody’s family reunions.
“Yeah?”
“Aren’t you going to say hi to your visitor?”
I squint. “My visitor?”
Donovan laughs. “She’s waiting at the gate.”
She?
I jump up and almost run to the gate. And there she is. Brown eyes, brown hair getting tousled by the wind, long, sexy legs, and a beautiful summer dress. I’m fighting down tears.
I open my arms, mostly to stop myself from falling over, but she misunderstands the gesture, runs toward me, and throws herself around my neck. As I wrap my arms around her, she wraps her legs around my hips.
“God, Mac,” I whisper against her neck. I squeeze my face into her hair, not wanting anyone to see me so emotional. She strokes my neck, shoulders, back, holding me tight.
“I’m so proud of you, Hunter,” she says again and again. She leans her cheek against my shaved head.
“God, baby,” I say again, feeling her tits pushing against my chest.
“Come home,” she says quietly.
“I don’t have a home.”
“Your home is with the people you love, Hunt. Carey and I are there. Come on. You’re free now, right?”
I nod and keep squeezing her. “I can’t, Mac. I can’t see Dad.” I haven’t seen him since we had that horrible conversation on the phone. It hurts, but…what can I say? I guess you can get used to anything.
“He’s not there,” she says quietly.
“It doesn’t feel right to go behind his back.”
“I made some osso buco,” she says, leaning back a little to look in my eyes.
“You’re not fighting fair.”
“Please come.”
Like I could turn her down. I nod, even if I really don’t like the idea. I put her down, and her hand reaches for mine. It feels good, and at the same time, it makes me sad, because she’s not really my girl.
At home—Dad’s home, more like—Carey is waiting for me. Shit, he’s totally grown up!
“Dude,” he says, hugging me tight. I hug him back, and it’s ages before we manage to let go of each other.
“You’re huge,” I say.
He laughs and smooths his blond hair back. “I do what I can.”
“How are you doing?” I ask, sitting down at the kitchen island, watching Mac cook. I would help her, really, but it makes me feel so good to watch my girl cook for me. Maybe that makes me an ass, but it is how it is. And looking at the way her eyes are shining, it’s obviously making her happy, too.
“Really good,” Carey says. “School’s finally over. You asshole didn’t even come to see me off to prom, by the way.” He punches my shoulder. I moan playfully, and Mac comes over, looking worried.
“Is everything okay?” she asks. “Are you injured?”
“I just finished BUD/S. Of course I’m injured,” I joke.
“Don’t be such a pussy,” Carey laughs.
“Shut up.”
He grins. “It’s good to have you back.”
I mess up his hair. “It’s good to see you, too, bro!”
He smiles somewhat wistfully, and my heart gets heavy.
“I’m sorry, Carey. I’ve been a bad brother. I haven’t been in touch enough over the last two years. I should have been here for you. Instead, you just had to fend for yourself.”
“Not really,” he says, looking at Mac.
I nod. “Okay, not really.”
“How long are you in San Diego for?” he asks.
“No idea. BUD/S is over now, so I don’t know what’s next…”
“Are they sending you to the Middle East?” he asks.
I snort quietly. “At some point, yes.”
He looks at me calmly. “Is that what you want?”
I return his look firmly. “Yes. All of this is exactly what I want. I’ve never felt as right anywhere before in my life.”
He puts a hand on my shoulder. “I just want you to be happy, man.”
“Thanks,” I say, but I look at Mac, and he knows what the look means. “So, what about you? Are you going to introduce me to your new flame?”
He waves it off. “I’m not planning to bring her home yet.”
“Why not?”
“It would make her think we’re super serious. But we’re just semi-serious at this point.”
I grin. “I see.” He told me on the phone he split up with Katie. I thought it was kind of sad, because she was always nice. But then again, I want him to find big love, too, not just make do with the first girl who happens to come along.
“What about you? As an elite fighter, they must be lining up to kiss your feet,” he jokes.
I can see Mac’s shoulders tense, but she doesn’t turn around. Carey winks at me, and I know what he’s trying to do. I shake my head. I don’t want to hurt her in any way.
“Maybe, but I’m not intere
sted,” I say firmly. I see Mac’s body relax again. “There’s only one girl I want.”
Her back twitches a little, she’s shaking. Cautiously, I step behind her and put my arms around her waist. “Baby…”
She turns around and buries her head in my chest. “It’s going to be an hour and a half before we can eat. I’m going upstairs for a while.” She’s gone so fast, I can’t hold her in place.
Carey smiles happily.
I give him a questioning look. “You like Dad. Why does this make you happy?”
“Is it that obvious?” he asks, not even trying to look contrite.
“Pretty obvious, yeah.”
“Do you remember how we felt about Mac when we first met her?”
“Of course, I do. We were such assholes.”
He nods. “We wondered why would she want to be with a rich old man, right?”
“Eloquently put, bro.”
“I agree. But we never wondered why Dad was with Mac.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You think Dad was using Mac, rather than the other way around?”
He shrugs. “No idea. But don’t you think it’s funny a man like Dad would be interested in Mac? She’s great, sure, and I love her like a big sister. But what was Dad thinking dating a woman twenty years younger than him?”
“First of all,” I say, “she’s not our big sister.”
Carey laughs.
“Second of all, maybe they’re actually in love.”
Carey tilts his head a little. “They’re in love, all right. Or should I say, they were in love. But I can’t imagine him staying with her that long if she hadn’t been such a useful choice for him.”
“Useful?” I frown. “You think Dad just wanted Mac to watch us while he was gone?”
Carey nods. “I’m not saying he didn’t have feelings for her, but…you haven’t been here these past two years, man. Especially this year. Since I turned eighteen, Dad’s been in New York almost all the time. Before that, he still came back to see her now and then, but now…”
“Maybe he’s just busy,” I say.
“Or he doesn’t need her anymore because his sons are old enough to take care of themselves now. That might explain the fact that he’s cheating on her, too.”
I squint, everything in my body vibrating. “Excuse me? What did you just say?”
“Calm down, man! You’ll burst a vein.”
I never knew I could get this angry this fast. Especially not after all that time in the Marines learning to keep calm no matter what. But what the fuck?
“You’re kidding me!” I get up and pace the kitchen, which seems smaller than it did a few years ago. “How do you know about this?”
“He had a thong that wasn’t Mac’s in his pants pocket.”
“Fuck! Tell me she didn’t find it…” I look at him, but he just shrugs helplessly. “Fuck! What an asshole! He’s tearing our family apart just like Mom did. He’s doing the same thing to Mac? I don’t believe this!”
“I know. That was my first thought, too.”
“Okay.” I look up at the ceiling, breathing slowly. “How’s she dealing with it?”
“She’s sad, I guess, but…”
“But?”
He shrugs. “Not as sad as you would expect.
“What do you mean?”
“I think their relationship was already over for her. Do you remember how sad she used to be whenever Dad had to go to New York? Even for a short time? Well, Dad hasn’t been here in four months. She used to cry when he was gone for three days, now she doesn’t care about four months. I mean, even before the thong thing happened. And since then, she hasn’t been noticeably sadder.” Carey gets a bottle of water from the fridge and holds it up. I nod, and he throws it at me before grabbing another for himself.
“So what are you saying, Carey?”
“I think she’s fallen out of love.”
“Are you sure?” My heart starts beating faster. Is that possible? Is it possible she’s finally free? Can I finally hope?
He shakes his head. “I’m not positive, but sure enough to go spend the night somewhere else tonight.”
“Why?”
“You need to talk to her, Hunt! You need to show her you’re still as interested as you used to be. You are, right?”
“I only made it through Hell Week because of her. Thinking of her.”
He gives me a satisfied look. “I love both of you. You’re family to me, and I want you to be happy. And I believe you could make each other happy.”
“What…” I clear my throat. “What am I supposed to say to her?”
He laughs. “I love you would be a good start.”
“Oh… Okay.” I promised her not to initiate anything between us ever again, but Carey is right. I need to try again, tell her she deserves better than a loveless relationship. “Carey…”
“Yes?”
“Are you and me okay?”
He grins. “If you don’t start keeping in touch with me better, we won’t be okay much longer, man.”
“I’ll work on it. Promise.”
He nods. “Whatever is going on between Mac and Dad has nothing to do with me. I’m always in your corner. I’m always here for you. I’ll always think you’re the coolest guy in the world, and nothing can change that. But you should show me the same kind of respect.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Okay, let’s set the table. It smells great.” Carey turns on the burner below the pot of potatoes, and we do excellent teamwork setting plates, knives, and forks out on the table.
14
Mackenzie
When I get back downstairs, the delicious smell of braised meat enters my nose. They’ve remembered the potatoes, too. Usually, you’d eat a risotto with osso buco, but Carey doesn’t like it.
“Hey,” Carey says as I walk into the kitchen.
“Hey.”
I never thought it would affect me so much having Hunter here. I thought I could handle being near him—maybe tell him I realized I have feelings for him. But when he took me in his arms, I almost melted.
“Thanks for remembering the potatoes.”
“Sure thing, doll.”
Hunter snorts and smiles at Carey. “You’re still calling her that?”
Carey laughs. “Somehow, it stuck.”
I frown. “What was that stupid nickname about, anyway? You sound like a 1940s gangster.”
They both laugh but don’t reply. I give Carey a stern look.
He playfully raises his hands. “Okay, okay. In the beginning, we weren’t so sure about you.”
“I vaguely remember,” I say sarcastically.
“Mac,” Hunter says quietly.
“It’s okay. Forgiven and forgotten.”
“Anyway,” Carey says.
“Maybe we shouldn’t tell her.” Hunter sounds unsure.
“Mac can take it,” Carey says before continuing, “We thought Dad was just with you because you were young and hot. Like a sex doll.”
“A sex doll? Doll is short for sex doll?” I ask incredulously.
Hunter runs a hand across his face, looking embarrassed.
“But…you kept calling me that after you started to like me! Or are you just pretending to like me?” I ask, feeling my stomach grow queasy.
“No, Mac, no. It wasn’t like that,” Carey says, putting his arm around my shoulders. “We never pretended with you. Later, it took on a different meaning for us. Not sex doll, just an affectionate term. You know you’re family to both of us.”
I nod and look at Hunter, who looks sad. “I’m sorry Mac.”
“It’s okay, I—”
“What, baby?” he asks, coming closer.
“You’re the only family I’ve got,” I say and swallow.
“The three of us?” Carey asks.
“I shake my head. The two of you.”
They both hug me tight, and I’m glad to have them here, the three of us are back together, if only for a weekend.<
br />
After dinner, Carey says goodbye and goes off to a friend’s, and I load the dishwasher. Hunter tries to help me, but I tell him to sit down and rest on the couch. After all, he’s just gotten through BUD/S. I don’t really know what the training entails, but I’m sure it can’t have been easy.
When everything’s in the dishwasher, I go to the living room and sit with him, kneading my hands. He smiles and moves closer. He puts his giant hand over my small one.
“Why are you nervous?” he asks.
“I’m not.”
His smile brightens. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I…”
He smooths a strand of hair back behind my ear, strokes my cheek, and runs his thumb across my bottom lip. “Baby…” He puts his hands on my hips and pulls me onto his lap. I’m straddling him, his hands on my back. He pulls my hips toward his own. I can feel his arousal.
“Hunter…”
“Listen to me, okay?”
I nod.
“I love you, Mac. I’ve been in love with you almost from the first moment I saw you four years ago. I know I was an asshole in the beginning, but I’ve been wanting you the entire time. I haven’t slept with another woman because I only want you. Only you, baby.”
Tears well up in my eyes. “You slept with Brittany.” I don’t know why I say it. I shouldn’t care. It doesn’t make a difference. We’re finally getting a chance to be together. And yet… Obviously, the thought of it has hurt more than I was willing to admit.
He gives me an irritated look. “No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did, on your eighteenth birthday.”
“Mac…”
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter. You can sleep with whoever you want,” I hurry to add.
He strokes up my sides, touches my arms, and lovingly takes my face in his hands. “Mac, I swear I’ve never slept with Brittany. Not even once. And definitely not on my eighteenth birthday. I ran into her, and she came on to me. I went with her because…you know…she was a hot woman in her mid-twenties. What was I supposed to say? But at her place, I realized I only wanted one woman in her mid-twenties. I only wanted you. I wanted to sleep only with you. I wanted only you to suck my dick.” He grins at me, and I punch him in the stomach.