by Tia Siren
Riley went to the silver tray to fetch the coffee carafe, then poured him a cup. She added the creamer and sugar to his liking, then topped off her own cup. She went to the bed and handed his to him as she took a seat on the edge of the mattress.
Gray sipped the strong brew gratefully. He ran a hand, warmed by the cup, down one side of her face, a touch that made her heart sing. “Well, since I’m new in town, what do you suggest for fun around here?”
A hundred naughty things came to mind. She studied him over the rim of her cup, a genuine smile lighting her lovely face. “There’s always the water.”
Gray looked toward the windows. “Really? As in…the lake?”
“Yes, but that water’s cold in summer, like you-need-a-suit-to-stand-it cold.”
Gray choked on his caffeinated concoction, then stared at her. “Say what?”
Riley laughed. “It’s freezing, but we do have a small boat we could take out on a sail. There’s one major plus.”
“And what’s that?” he asked, looking at her suspiciously.
“There aren’t any sharks in Lake Tahoe,” she said with a grin.
He chuckled. “Maybe there’s some prehistoric monster, like Loch Ness.”
She laughed. Positive this had been the best decision for them. “Seriously, Gray,” she said, then playfully tapped his arm with one hand. “Are you hungry?”
He gave her a wicked grin. “Maybe a little.”
Her heart raced when she realized he was hungry for something far more exciting than food, but before she could ask him to elaborate, there was a light tap at the door.
Gray lifted one eyebrow.
Riley grimaced. “We’ll definitely finish that conversation in a bit, mister,” she said over her shoulder as she walked over to answer the door.
“Good morning, miss. Would you like anything for breakfast?” Mrs. Gates asked.
Riley hid a grin, then looked back at Gray.
He grinned back, with impish little lights dancing in his eyes.
“I think we can manage ourselves, Mrs. Gates,” Riley said.
Mrs. Gates nodded. “Well, I’ll head to the market now, if you don’t think you’ll need me for a few hours.”
“We don’t…and thank you,” Riley said politely, then shut the door.
Gray was lying against the pillows, shaking with silent laughter.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
“You,” he said, “trying to be all discreet and proper.” He managed to stop laughing for a moment, then asked, “Hey, where’d you get those clothes?”
She gave him a smug look. “From my closet. I kept them here because I don’t need them anywhere else. Do you like?”
He took a moment to look at her creamy, thick sweater in a shade of pale blue, dark blue jeans, and calf-high boots. She’d pulled her blonde hair into a braid that rested on one shoulder, a perfect accompaniment for her face and its amazing bone structure. “I do,” he said, “especially those boots.”
“Well, you’re in luck. We have a vast coat and outdoor boots closet. Let’s find you something to wear, and I’ll take you for a hike around the lake, so you can really see it.”
He slid out of bed, his lean body flexing and literally shining. Her heart gave another painful, powerful throb that was parroted by her sex. In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to push him right back into the bed and demand that he take her, right then and there.
“A walk actually sounds really good,” he said. “I’m still pretty stiff from all those flights and the drive here.”
“You have some jeans, right?”
“I do.”
He strolled to their bags and found his comfortable blues and a shirt that was hardly warm enough. He shrugged them on easily, covering his incredible body inch by inch. Riley wanted to get outside, to get back in touch with something other than the ocean and sunny skies, but even so, she really regretted him concealing all his finery beneath that fabric prison. The second he put the clothes on, she wanted to rip them off him.
In the hall closet, she found a suitable pair of hiking boots and a thick coat, gloves, and a hat for Gray.
He laughed as he put them on. “I’m wearing more clothes right now than I’ve worn in the last year combined I think. I feel like the freaking abominable snowman.”
She gave him a level look. “I know. I’m like, clothes? You mean shorts and the thinnest bikini top I can get away with?”
“Yet another thing I like about you, Riley,” he said with a wink.
They walked toward the front door, and her mittened hand found his. They smiled at each other as they stepped out into a dazzle of sunlight that made them both squint. The light was white and intense, bouncing off the high faces of snow-covered peaks.
Gray let out an appreciative whistle. “Wow! It’s really beautiful out here, like some kind of postcard.”
Riley took a lung breath of air, pulling it in through her nose. Birch, pine, and lake water all mingled in her nostrils, wiping away the memory of saltwater and sun-blasted sand. “It is. Oh look! Eagles!”
Gray followed her pointed finger and smiled as he watched the bird. Then, suddenly, a worried expression crossed his face. “Do they attack humans?”
“Only if you’re naked in the woods,” she joked.
Gray’s face twisted up in disagreement. “It’s too cold for that, I think. I’m not sure I love you enough to risk pneumonia,” he said with a smile.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. C’mon.” She led him down the long sweep of the back lawn, toward the shore, which was strewn with enormous gray stones and flat rocks. The water was pale blue, practically periwinkle nearest the shore, but it darkened to navy as it arced toward the vast stretches of the lake center. The stones on the floor of the lake near to them were visible in the clear depths.
“Cool lake,” he said casually. Almost sounding like he was trying to be polite.
“It’s an alpine lake.”
“Oh?” He kicked a rock, and it spun away into the water.
“Come on. We’ll get you on the water, and you’ll feel better,” she said hopefully. The whole thing seemed to be going south somehow. They’d been happy in bed, but now, she wasn’t so sure. Riley wanted him to like the place, but she could tell he was not at all happy with it, even though it was clear that he was trying to for her sake. “So, uh… I was thinking about what comes next.”
“And…”
“And… Do you still wanna try to open our own place?”
Gray helped her skirt a large series of dangerous boulders. “I’d love that, Riley, but you know we can’t afford it yet.”
“I can.”
His voice silenced, and his face went blank.
Damn it! She hated it when he did that, when he just checked out and became unreadable and unreachable. Desperate, she rushed out, “Look, I know we agreed not to use my money, but why not? We could… Gray, with it, we can easily buy a place we can both live. We could get a little boat to take the guests out in, like you said. We can really do something with our lives. I mean, we have to eventually, right? We can’t stay here forever. People need a place to be, Gray, a place to…settle down and be something, and we’re not exceptions.”
He scratched his head, knocking his cap sideways a bit. “Do you have any idea where you wanna be?” he asked as he straightened his hat.
She paused for a moment, considering her options. “I miss New York,” she finally said, “but I know it’s not the place for you. I mean, no matter where we are, I could visit, right? Maybe we could go for a few weeks out of the year or something.”
“Yeah.”
She wasn’t sure if he was agreeing or placating or just being nonchalant. Either way, Riley decided not to press it. “Well, I was hoping you’d have a better idea than I had before. That whole random place-picking pretty much sucked.”
“Was it really that bad?”
It was an honest question, so she gave him an honest answer: �
��Yeah, it was horrible. I mean, that apartment and the beach filled with garbage and the hookers on the street in front of it… Oh, and let’s not forget the drunken guy who beat his head into the walls every weekend…or the goat.”
“I liked the goat.”
“That goat head-butted me in the ass, you know.”
Finally, Gray laughed a genuine laugh as the memory struck him. “I know, and you were mad as hell about it, but you gotta admit it was pretty funny.”
“For you maybe. That goat nearly broke my ass,” she said, wondering if he was changing the subject on purpose. “Anyway, I’m serious, Gray. I really miss work and friends.”
“Work? You mean you miss waiting tables?”
“No, not that kind of work. I just want something that challenges me to think and aspire.”
“Me too,” he said, letting out a sigh that had Riley’s heart aching for him. “Maybe we need to talk about this, but I—”
“There’s no maybe to it,” she snapped. She was beginning to get irritated, because Gray seemed to be acting like some kind of Peter Pan, a kid who didn’t want to grow up and face reality. They had things to sort out, lives to plan, and they had to talk about it, whether he wanted to or not. She didn’t really want to discuss it either, because she knew it was a Pandora’s Box that would likely lead to yet another argument. She had hoped to leave their fighting behind, but it now seemed that wasn’t going to be possible.
“Look, I know you’re right,” Gray said. “We do need to talk, but just not now, okay? I’m still trying to process all this, and I don’t really know how, if that makes any sense at all.”
She took a step back and stared at him, realizing he was right.
They’d been through a whirlwind of changes, both of them. It was easier for her, because the cabin and its surroundings were familiar, but Gray had never been there before, and he was still trying to adjust to all the changes. She offered him a half-smile and said, “Okay. Just as long as you know we have to talk about it sooner or later.”
“I know, and we will.”
“Okay.” She took his hand, and he squeezed her fingers, a small gesture that filled her with big hope. She didn’t want to push him, but they had to make some decisions. Together. She loved being with Gray, and she was willing to wait it out for a while, but she really did miss the few friends she had. She also missed being part of things that really mattered, like her charity boards and her pet projects. Gray had carefully avoided answering the question about a place of their own and using her money for it, but she hoped he’d change his mind in time. She hadn’t thought she’d miss her family, but she did. Gray probably missed home too.
Hopefully time wouldn’t ruin things before they sorted it all out. She loved Gray and wanted him to be part of her life. Forever.
She just wasn’t sure if their love was a tropical fever that would run its course and then be gone.
Chapter 33
Gray severely missed the tropical weather, the atmosphere, and coming here just felt like a big mistake. Maybe they were trying to force things to work out and they were just on opposite sides of the world. He wasn’t made for this high class, royalty treatment. He stared at the gorgeous girl in front of him and he really could summon no words. He felt like a complete jerk. It was obvious Riley loved it here, and he desperately wanted to take at least some pleasure in it. He tried to force himself out of the bundle of negativity that was dropping over him and took her hand.
Trying to talk about what was next had thrown him off. Everything felt odd here and a little unnerving. He was a creature of the sky and the wind, the sea and the sun, and Lake Tahoe was a different thing altogether. Pretty, but bloomin’ cold and lethal. He really wanted nothing to do with it. And especially Riley’s money. In the end, it always came back to that. Her money, not mine. He felt like a gold-digger every time she brought it up. He knew he was basically useless to her. Her parents had figured that out the moment they’d met him. He would never be good enough for someone like Riley Teeters. No matter how hard he tried.
They started walking again. She talked, and he listened as she shared stories of her childhood vacations in the cabin. Much to his own surprise, he even found himself laughing a bit at a few of them. They headed up a small trail, then went back down it. They spent a few hours chasing literal rabbit trails before they headed back inside the mansion she called a cabin.
The grandeur of the place overwhelmed him. It just felt wrong. Like he wasn’t supposed to be here—like he didn’t belong. Riley had to see it. If I can’t fit into her world, how can I possibly fit into her life? he worried, looking over at her. How can she not see this? How much longer will it be before she realizes and asks me to leave?
The rest of the day and evening dragged. There wasn’t anything to do, and even though he was tried from working his ass off the past few months, now he was bored. After dinner, Riley challenged him to some board games. Gray actually managed to unwind enough to enjoy it, and Riley’s seriously competitive spirit amused him. By the time darkness fell and they were both tired, but at least they were laughing and joking as easily as they had in the early days of their relationship.
They crawled into oversized, way too fluffy bed and lay there together a few moments. He didn’t feel like sex tonight. His dick thought otherwise, but he ignored it. He wrapped an arm around Riley and pressed his head against hers. She smelled like pine needs and sweetness. It suited her. “What do you want to do tomorrow?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Do you mind if we just stay here? We don’t always have to have plans, right?”
He remained silent for a moment, his eyes guarded. “We have to figure something out eventually. We can’t just stay here forever.” Life isn’t one big holiday. Though with this kind of money, it probably is.
She sighed. “I know.”
Reality hurtled into his thoughts, along with it all feelings he didn’t want to deal with. Worry, doubt, and the concern that he would never be sufficient, that he could never stay with someone who had so much more than he did.
Riley couldn’t be immune to the reality either. She had to know that this wasn’t going to last. They were chasing a dream. A tropical fever holiday that was slowly freezing like the snow outside. It tore Gray apart.
How can we make this work? He lay beside her, almost clinging to her. Even if she gave away all of her money, which seemed to be the biggest obstacle between them, there would be lingering resentment. Sooner or later, she would blame him for forcing her to give everything up, to make such a lofty sacrifice for their love. Gray stared at Riley’s pretty face as her breathing evened and she drifted off to sleep. She meant everything to him, and also represented everything he would never have. She grew up with a lot of money, she liked having it available to her, she needed it.
He had nothing to offer. Just himself.
And he knew it wouldn’t be enough.
He rolled onto his back and stared at the intricately inlayed pine ceiling. Even that probably cost more than his entire college education. He didn’t want to resent her money. He sure as hell wasn’t jealous of it… Was he?
No. He wanted to make his own way in the world. He wanted to do it on his own dime. Not her parent’s money. He nearly snorted out loud at that thought. He could just imagine what they thought of him. If they knew she’d been waiting tables down south, they’d probably be ticked and blame him for her doing manual labor. Then again, they’d probably be furious if they knew he was here in this ridiculous cabin. This was all turning into such a mess. They were in over their heads. Pretending to make it work when it wasn’t.
He couldn’t bear the idea that they were going to end up going their separate ways, but it was inevitable. They were from different worlds. He was already pulling away from her, even if they were close in bed. The gap between them was growing all the time, and he had no idea how to cross the great divide.
Have we just outlived our time together, overstayed our welcome? Were
we really only meant to be a fling? Maybe our endless summer isn’t supposed to be endless? They were, after all, now in a far wintrier climate, and life had become more of a bitch than a beach. However long their summer was supposed to last, it definitely wasn’t in bloom at this ridiculous cabin with its hired help that lived here year round.
What would Riley say if he suggested they leave Lake Tahoe, hop a plane and head out in search of sunshine and warmer weather? Would it be enough to keep them together?
Beside him, Riley sighed, and the small rise and fall of her chest spoke volumes. Night had crept in long before they had made for the bedroom, and now the room was draped with a dark heaviness that seemed to hang around them like a fog. She was just a glimmer of shadow and light on the bed, and the tiny sliver of silver moonlight that managed to penetrate the windows illuminated little to nothing.
Lying next to her, his heart ached as he watched her sleep. He knew he couldn’t let her walk away. He wasn’t sure he had the courage to do it either. Tomorrow, he vowed. Tomorrow, we’ll find a way to work it out. We’ll have a long talk and figure out a way to stay together, despite it all.
He slid his arm tighter around her and let his body conform against hers. They were close together, but he felt like they were a million miles apart. He sighed and closed his eyes tight. The shadows in the room were not nearly as dark as the shadows lurking in his heart.
Chapter 34
He had no idea if he’d even slept. Gray felt like he’d been watching the night in the bedroom as the hours slowly ticked by. They’d gone to be early and each time he checked the clock, it felt like hours when only minutes seemed to have changed on the digits.
It was around two when Riley rolled over and pressed her lips to his neck, her hand slipping down to his large erection. The cool of her palm felt delicious against its heat. He moaned and moved to give her more access to it.
“I want you…” Riley whispered against his neck. “You have no idea what you do to me, you don’t even realize…”