She shook her head. “You don’t have to. It was just an idea to make things easier for you.” She turned back to the closet and started pulling at more clothes.
I came up behind her and wrapped her in my arms. “I like that idea,” I said, growling in her ear as I rubbed my growing hardness against her ass.
“Really?”
I spun her around and took her mouth, kissing her with all the lust that was suddenly boiling in my veins. I never knew domesticity could be so fucking hot. I took her right there on the floor of her mother’s room.
A few weeks in, Cece started talking to her mother at rehab. From what I could hear, the conversations were strained at first, but now they seemed to flow. I could feel Cece’s stress melt away with each day. Not living with her mother was a good thing.
We settled into a routine. I would drop her off at work before heading to the club. Then I would pick her up and we would either eat out or cook at home. The weekends were spent together, too.
I would had thought that all the routine and domestic habits might affect the sex. But no, it only got better. I got hard watching her put her clothes on, especially when she pulled on those soft cotton panties. Now that Cece’s resistance was gone, I had free rein over her body, making our house my own little pleasure cave. She liked it rough and urgent, which I gave to her often, but I had to teach her that patience had its rewards. Along with handcuffs, blindfolds, and the occasional spanking. But we didn’t use those too often. The two of us together in missionary position was better than any tantric sex move or three-way I’d ever had.
I think it had something to do with being a couple, which confused the hell out of me. Normally, couples made me cringe. The thought of being tied down, of having someone to answer to, just made me sick. With Cece, it was different. She was the only woman I would allow to ask me “where were you”. The only woman who could give me chores, like mowing the lawn or loading the dishwasher. I was a new man with Cece, and I liked it. I was almost certain that I was in love, for the first time in my life.
And I knew she felt the same. There were times when we would be driving home from Bigby’s, her hand in mine, resting on the center console, and I could feel her looking at me. When I looked back at her, there was always a small smile on her face, like she had a happy secret.
I wondered how long we would let it go unspoken, the love thing. Neither one of us were raised to express our feelings willingly, and we both were learning to trust in each other. I wondered sometimes if I should just say it. But then I had to be ready for her not to say it back. I wasn’t sure how that would feel so I decided to keep it to myself for a while. I just wanted to enjoy our honeymoon phase if I could.
Of course, the honeymoon couldn’t last forever.
****
“Have a good run,” Greyson said as we left the chapel. We just finished our monthly club meeting, and I was nominated to lead the next run. We each had to take turns on shipments and now it was mine.
“Thanks, prez,” I said and headed for the bar. I knew I was going to have a confrontation when I told Cece. It wasn’t the part about leaving for a few days that made me nervous. It was the part that she had to stay at the clubhouse while I was gone.
Ever since we got home from the hospital, Cece had maintained a distance from the club. She never spoke against it. In fact, she never mentioned it, period. I had hoped that when we got together that her hatred of the Aces would go away, or at least dissipate. She had hung out with Izzy a couple of times, but they were always away from the clubhouse.
Something had to change. She had to accept the club eventually if we were together, and I was getting a little tired of waiting for her to stop acting like a stubborn bitch about it.
Now was the time to make the change. She couldn’t avoid it forever.
And neither can I.
I picked Cece up from Bigby’s as usual and quickly told her that we would be eating out tonight. Maybe having this conversation in public would be better than in private.
I took us to Jimmy’s, where we had our first date, and I asked her about her day to keep things casual. Before she could cut into her steak, I reached across the table and took her hand in mine. “Tomorrow I’ll have to go on a run with some of the other guys,” I said.
She looked surprised but simply shrugged. “Oh, okay. How long will you be gone?”
“Probably four days.”
The hand in mine flinched a little bit before she asked, “Where are you going to stay?”
“Probably in a couple motels but we also have an Aces charter up north that we usually stay with.”
Cece’s eyes narrowed, and I could see the jade heating up like it always did when she was pissed. She tried to pull her hand from mine, but I held it tight, knowing what was on her mind.
“Babe, you don’t have to worry about other girls,” I said.
“I know,” she snapped and looked away.
I tugged her arm a little until she looked at me. “Seriously, babe. Do you think any of those women could compare to you? I don’t want a skank when I have a goddess at home,” I said, giving her a charming smirk.
She rolled her eyes, but they seemed to soften. “You don’t have special on-the-road rules like other clubs?” she asked.
It was a fair question, and some of the Aces had employed those rules before. But I knew I couldn’t. “No, cheating is cheating no matter where it happens,” I said.
“Okay,” she said, and her hand squeezed mine.
“I want you to stay at the clubhouse while I’m gone,” I said, hoping I’d be able to charm away her anger a second time.
She pulled away in disgust, the jade lighting up once again. “What?”
“Just so I know you’re safe. We neutralized most of the Snakes, but there is always a chance that we missed someone. For the time being, it is safer for you not to be alone. Izzy will be staying there, too,” I explained.
“No, absolutely not,” she said through gritted teeth, folding her arms. I could see her jaw tighten and her nostrils flare.
Suddenly I knew this discussion would be better in private. Sweet words wouldn’t coax her out of this one. I dug into my food, and, after a few seconds, she did the same.
We didn’t speak again through dinner, or on the ride home. When we got there, Cece went straight to our room, slamming the door.
I immediately followed. Now I was just as angry as she was.
I swung open the door and found her sitting on the bed, her arms wrapped around her legs.
“Why are you so against staying at the club for a few days?” I said.
“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” she said.
“Like hell you don’t?” I growled.
She simply stared ahead, refusing to look at me.
I came closer to the bed and softened my voice a little. “Cece, I have let you avoid the club until now, but it is a part of my life that you have to accept.”
She turned her face away, refusing to look at me.
Stubborn bitch.
I turned my back on her and went to leave. “You are going to the club tomorrow morning so be ready,” I said over my shoulder. Now it was my turn to slam the door.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Cece
I pretended to be sleeping for a half hour before I realized that Jordan wasn’t coming to bed with me. He probably went to my mother’s room to sleep. I couldn’t really blame him. I knew I was being a bitch about the clubhouse. Even though I had accepted Jordan, I had yet to accept him as an Ace. Up until now, I had been able to avoid the club, mentally and physically. And Jordan hadn't talked about them. The only reminder was his cut that he wore every day, and even that I managed to ignore.
I wasn’t altogether sure what was holding me back. Yes, the club was dangerous, but I was confident Jordan could keep me safe. And I couldn’t imagine him forcing me to do something illegal. I wish I could say that all the members were scum, but I’d only met one of t
hem and Rem seemed okay. And if the other old ladies were as friendly as Izzy, I probably could get along with them, too. I wasn’t looking forward to being faced with the Hearts, but I knew I could handle them if I had to.
And yet, the thought of stepping back into that place again made me cringe. I had an idea of what was making me nervous, but I didn’t want to think about it, much less tell Jordan.
After a few minutes, I turned on the bedside lamp and sat up, wrapping my arms around my legs. I didn’t want to stay at the clubhouse, but what if Jordan was right about the Snakes? I liked to think I was a badass, but all I had was a couple of locked doors between me and danger. I suddenly saw myself as a woman in a B horror movie who would have lived if she only listened to her boyfriend. Instead she was a stupid bitch and was murdered by the guy in a white mask.
It was the smart move to stay at the clubhouse, and, if I was serious about Jordan, then this was something I had to do sooner or later.
I got out of bed and walked down the hall. The door to my mother’s room was slightly ajar, like Jordan knew I would come to him. I peeked in and the bed was illuminated by the moon shining through the flimsy curtains. Jordan was lying on his back, sleeping naked like he always did. His dark eyes watched me as I approached the bed and got in.
“I'm sorry about earlier,” I said in a whisper. “The clubhouse just scares me.”
He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against him. “Why?” he asked.
I could hear his heartbeat with my ear pressed to his chest. Something about it had truth spilling out of my mouth. “I'm scared to learn who my dad is.”
“I thought you said that he may not even be an Ace,” he said, rubbing my hair.
I lifted my head and set my chin on my palm, so I could look him in the face. “I don’t know. He may have been. My mother refused to tell me.”
“Why would that scare you? Knowing who he is?”
I looked down. “Because I don't want to know him. I can’t take the chance of actually caring about him.”
“Would that be so bad?”
“Yes,” I insisted, sitting up on my knees. “I have so much anger raging inside me for that man. And if I finally had a face to throw it at, I'm not sure I could stop until I douse him in gasoline and set him on fire.”
He smirked. “I never knew you were so vengeful.”
“Does it freak you out?”
He reached over and grabbed my hand, leading it to the sheet tenting over his hard cock. “Does it feel like it freaks me out?”
I giggled a little.
“I like seeing your dark side. It makes me want to find your father for you and throw him at your feet, watch you torture him,” he said huskily.
I rolled my eyes. “But that is the other part of it. What if I don’t want to hurt him? I still have this little girl inside me who will always want his love. I have my daddy issues like every other abandoned girl out there.”
“It’s okay to have daddy issues,” he said with a sexy little smirk.
I quickly straddled him.
“You really are the fucked up one in this relationship. You want me because I am a vengeful bitch with daddy issues.”
He didn't say anything, just grabbed my hips to pulled me against his hardness.
I gasped at the contact and grabbed onto his wrists to steady myself. “Wait. There was something I was supposed to tell you when I came in here,” I said before he could go any further.
“Tell me later,” he growled.
“Once you start, we both know you won't give me the chance.”
“Fine, speak,” he said, keeping a tight grip on my pelvis.
“Even though the clubhouse scares me, I will go. I want what we have to keep … going, and we can't do that if I don't accept the Aces, too.”
Jordan sat up and wrapped his arms around me. “I want this to keep going, too. I'm glad you want to try with the Aces, but this is also about you staying safe. I won't be able to concentrate if I think there is a chance you could be hurt. If anything freaks me out, it’s how much I want you, how much I fucking need you,” he said, his tone almost angry. I kissed him, letting him know that I felt the same. “I hope you’re done talking because I need you to put something else in your mouth.”
I nodded and did as I was told.
****
The next morning, we stood in the Aces' parking lot saying our goodbyes. We arrived a little late, and the other guys were already on their bikes, waiting on him. He kissed me long and hard, completely ignoring the catcalls and grumbling from his brothers. I was breathless by the time he let go.
“I'll see you Saturday.”
I just nodded and watched him walk to his bike. I stood with my arms wrapped around me as they left the compound. Once they were out of sight, I finally turned toward the clubhouse.
I made my way to the door and pulled it open, keeping my eyes down as much as possible. Jordan told me that the clubhouse wouldn't be crowded while they were gone. There would only be a few members to keep us protected and absolutely no parties. Still, I kept my eyes down, avoiding looking at the walls where there might be pictures. I didn't even know if it was possible to recognize a father you never met, but I didn’t want to find out.
Suddenly a bleached blonde stick figure was standing in front of me. “Who the hell are you?”
“Cece. Jordan's girlfriend,” I said.
She glanced back at two girls leaning against the bar. One was thin like the blonde but had red hair, while the other was curvy with dark hair and caramel skin. “Girlfriend, those never last long,” the blonde said and the others snickered.
“Hey, Cece.”
I tilted my head to the side and saw Izzy coming down the metal staircase. Her belly had grown a little bit since I'd seen her last.
“I'm so glad you're here,” Izzy said
“You’re the only one,” blondie sneered.
Izzy rolled her eyes. “Tracy, take your icky ass back to the bar.”
The skank quickly turned on Izzy. “Don't you have some Harry Potter fan fiction to write?”
Izzy grinned. “It's Star Wars fan fiction. If you want to embarrass me, do it accurately,” Izzy said, clearly not embarrassed at all. She turned to me. “Come on.”
I adjusted the strap of my bag over my shoulder and followed her to the stairs, not bothering to look back at the slut brigade.
This was the first time I had been here when there wasn’t wall to wall people. I had a clear view of a small stage with a stripper pole in the corner, couches and tables spread about, and an old motorcycle on display by the staircase. It had ACE written on the tank with an American Eagle sitting in the C, its wings spread wide. And it looked old. I imagined a man in a leather jacket and those old timey goggles driving it.
I stopped to look at it a little closer.
“This is the type of motorcycle that gave the club its name,” Izzy said. “The guys just finished restoring it a couple months ago. It is a 1938 Indian Chief 4 Cylinder.”
“Yeah, I have no idea what that means,” I confessed.
“Me neither.” Izzy giggled. “But it seemed important to Rem that I knew exactly how important this bike is.”
“But isn’t the Aces’ logo playing cards?”
Izzy smiled. “Yeah, I think there was a miscommunication between the founding members when it was designed.”
I laughed, suddenly liking the Aces a little bit more.
We headed up the stairs. After going through a door, she led me down a hallway with several doors on either side. She stopped about halfway down and opened one up.
“This is Jordan's room. I made sure it was clean.”
“Thanks.” I dropped my bag on the bed.
“So, are those girls going to be here the whole time?” I asked.
“Yes, they are the Hearts. But don't take anything they say or do personally. I learned long ago that they try to drag us down since they are jealous.”
“Jealous of wha
t?”
She shrugged. “That we are old ladies and they’re not.”
“Am I an old lady?” I asked, feeling a little strange since Jordan never called me his old lady.
Izzy gave me a cute smile. “Maybe not officially but I have my fingers crossed.”
“Why?”
“Because Jordan deserves to be happy and I think you do that for him.”
I nodded, knowing what she meant. I sat down on the bed, feeling a little overwhelmed. I thought facing the Hearts wouldn’t be a big deal, but I suddenly remembered that Jordan had slept with all of them. That didn’t feel good.
I really wanted Jordan to be here with me. But he was probably doing something illegal right now. What if he gets arrested? Or killed? Oh, God.
“How about I let you get settled? The bathroom is through that door.” Izzy said, pointing to the door on the opposite wall.
“Hey,” I said before she could leave.
“Yeah?”
“Do you ever worry about Rem when he is on a run?”
She folded her hands in front of her. “One thing that Rem has told me is that these runs aren’t nearly as dangerous or exciting as we believe. He says they are boring most of the time.”
“Do you think he might be lying to make you feel better?”
She stepped into the room and closed the door. She sat next to me on the bed before she answered. “It has occurred to me. I am gullible sometimes.”
“Does it ever bother you? What they do?”
“If I'm honest, yes, it does. But then I think about what would happen if the Aces suddenly gave up all illegal activities. Would all the drugs and crime suddenly go away in Clayton?”
I laughed a little bit. “No. Someone else would take over.”
“And we have no idea how that someone would run things. The Aces may be criminals, but they have a code that tries to protect the innocent. Someone else might not have a code.” Izzy cupped her stomach, obviously thinking about a world where her child might not be safe.
“If you asked Rem to give it up, do you think he would?”
“Yes, but I would never ask that. This club is a part of him. If we left, he would be miserable. But I also think he is ready to change. Ever since I got pregnant, Rem has been taking his safety a lot more seriously. In fact, this is the first run he has gone on in six months.”
Battlefield (The Covenant Book 2) Page 16