Chapter Forty-Eight
Cece
On the long drive back to Clayton, Max filled me on in all the news from the club. Most exciting being that Izzy had the baby. They named him Jacob Junior. When I didn’t immediately reply, Max gave me a look over his shoulder. “Are you okay? Jordan told me about the…” he asked, glancing at my stomach.
“Yes,” I said. “Just tired.”
After that, our only conversation concerned food and bathroom breaks. They spoke amongst themselves, but I didn't pay attention. I was too busy processing the last twenty-four hours to hear anything beyond my earlobes.
I thought about watching Silvito die, replaying it over and over. It happened so fast that I was almost disappointed. He deserved a more painful death or at least a lifetime in prison. On the other hand, it was probably a good thing he was dead. If he was as powerful as Jordan claimed, he probably had the power to get out of any charges brought by the courts. This way he was gone for good. I never gave much thought to hell, but I hoped Silvito was there. I also hoped that Eric would be enough to bring the rest of the organization down. I worried that if the Feds didn't fix things, Cara would have her chance to take over. I also worried she would go after Rafe.
Rafe, I thought sadly. We’d ruined his life. Or maybe it was already ruined, and we just made him realize it. Wherever he ended up, I wanted him to be happy. I would have invited him back to Clayton, but I knew that would only cause trouble. Not only for me but by bringing Rafe home, we could be bringing danger to the town, the club, the baby.
The baby.
I felt guilty that I hadn't thought much about her in the last few weeks. I avoided thinking about her at first because there had been a real chance that I would be giving her up. Then there was the mission to complete. But now, it was finally time to start thinking about her … or him, I guess. I realized that I’d started thinking of the baby as a “her” when I was sure my life was about to end.
I reached down, cupping the rounded part of my belly. I felt pressure in my nose, and then my vision was blurred by tears. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
My baby deserved a mother who wouldn’t give up so easy. But that was what I did back in Lake Tahoe. I was ready to kill us both. At the time, it seemed like the only choice, but looking back, I was ashamed of that choice.
Hawk glanced back at me from the driver’s seat but didn't say anything. I sniffled in the back of the car for about an hour before I finally gave up on hating myself. I promised the baby that everything would be different going forward. I was willing to sacrifice my life but not hers.
I had so much responsibility growing in my belly that it was frightening. I never realized how daunting parenthood could be. But it made me wonder what my mother must have felt when she got pregnant with me. And what about my father? Did he truly not care or was he just scared at the prospect of being responsible for someone else’s life?
I must have fallen asleep at one point because the next thing I heard was Max saying, “Cece, we're home.”
I sat up and looked out the windshield. I laughed a little when I saw the Aces’ clubhouse. How many months ago, I would have called this place the furthest thing from home. But Max was right. I couldn't wait to take a shower and then dive into Jordan's bed. I wondered if the sheets still smelled like him. I hoped they did.
Epilogue
Jordan
It was Sunday morning when a cab dropped me off in front of the clubhouse. The debriefing took four days. Four long days of testimony and questions. At the end, Parker shook my hand and thanked me for my service, all the while promising me that all the photos with Izzy and the bank would disappear. But I knew I couldn't trust Jenkins. The man had screwed over the Aces once, so I'd made sure the evidence was destroyed. After all, being held in a government facility for four days got a little boring. I found ways to keep myself occupied.
I nodded to the prospect who opened the gate for me and went straight to the clubhouse. I found Rem sitting at a table in the bar with a laptop in front of him.
He glanced up at my approach, and a smile spread across his face. “I’m going to beat the shit out of you,” he said as he stood up.
“I know you’re pissed,” I said. “We can work it out in the ring later.” We shook hands before I pulled him in for a hug. I winced a little when he hit my arm, but I held it in. The wound on my arm was closed but still ached when I tried to move it.
He stepped back. “Looks like you need some recovery time,” he said, not missing my pain. “Your woman is upstairs.”
I looked at the stairs longingly. “Listen, brother, before anything else, I need to tell you something. It's about why I left the way I did.” This conversation probably could wait, but I didn’t want it to. I needed it off my chest as soon as possible. “It involves your old man.”
Rem’s fist clenched at his sides. “Tell me,” he said through gritted teeth.
I told him about Parker and Jenkins, and how they’d threatened Izzy.
By the time I was done, Rem had made his way behind the bar and had poured us both shots of whiskey. He was silent for a few moments, no doubt thinking of the implications. “I had a feeling that piece-a-shit would show up again eventually,” Rem growled, shaking his head.
We had known that Rem’s dad was a Fed for a few years now, but Rem had given up on vengeance because of Izzy. He knew it would only lead to more trouble. But Jenkins just proved that he was still a threat to the club.
“I'm sorry, man. I was supposed to protect her, and I didn't,” I said before downing the shot.
He looked at me. “No, I was the one who didn't protect her. I knew it was dangerous, but she was so damn adamant.”
I nodded, knowing what he was talking about. “She still feels guilty,” I said.
He crossed his arms, leaning against the bar back. “I know.”
The silence in the room was heavy with our shared issues. It was reassuring to see another man struggling with his woman’s feelings and having no idea how to deal with them.
“So where is Cece?” I said.
Rem poured himself another shot. “She’s in the nursery.”
“We have a nursery?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “It’s in the old file room. I thought it was silly, too, but I like having a place for JJ here.”
“JJ?” I asked, completely confused.
“My son, you dumb shit. Izzy gave birth last week,” he said, a smile spreading across his face.
“Shit.” This was what happened when you got in the spy game. You missed real life.
“Congratulations,” I said.
He lifted his glass. “To you, too.”
“Jesus,” I said, realizing he was right. I was going to be a new dad just like him. I gave him a smile, proud to have more in common with my best friend.
“Well, I’ll get all your words of fatherly wisdom later,” I said as I headed for the stairs.
“And we’ll talk about Jenkins later, too.”
The comment had me turning back to look at him. Rem’s face was a mask of anger. I just nodded before turning away, knowing there was no way to avoid the conversation. Something had to be done about Jenkins, but I wished I could spare Rem that stress, especially now that he had a wife and kid to worry about.
I tried to be quiet as I opened the nursery door. I found Cece sitting in a rocking chair with JJ in her arms, feeding him a bottle. The room had been painted yellow with an animal print wallpaper. There was a dresser, changing table, and matching crib. I stayed quiet for a moment just watching her. She looked so beautiful as she stared down at the infant in her arms. The scene was so peaceful and content, it nearly broke my heart.
It was almost a full ten minutes before she finally glanced up and smiled at me. “Come meet JJ,” she said softly.
I approached slowly. “Where’s his mom?”
“Taking a nap.”
“I don’t have a lot of experience with babies,” I admitted.
Cece rolled her eyes. “And I do?”
I knelt beside her, looking at the small bundle in her arms. His face was tiny with his round cheeks taking up most of it. His eyes were closed, but I could see his mouth moving on the nipple, and his super small fingers gripped onto Cece’s where they held the bottle.
“We need to take advantage of JJ while we can?” she whispered.
I glanced at her, my brow furrowing.
“We both need to soak up the experience before ours arrives.”
My hand reached up to cup her neck, and I leaned in to kiss her softly. In the last week, my paranoia fed into my insecurity where Cece was concerned. I was almost certain that she would change her mind about me before I got back, and that she would try to escape to California with my baby. But here she was, ready to start our life together, and I’d never loved her as much as I did right now. I could only imagine the feeling growing when she would be holding our own child in her arms.
I broke our kiss and leaned back.
“You are going to be a great mom, Cece.”
She scrunched her face and then turned back to the baby.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She bit her lip, and her voice quivered as she answered. “I haven’t spoken to my mother since before I left for Vegas.”
“Why not?”
“She never came back from Arizona, and she isn’t answering her phone.”
“Shit,” I said. That could only mean one thing. “I’m sorry, babe. Why didn’t you tell me?”
She turned from the baby and glared at me. “Because you left,” she whispered angrily.
The guilty ache I felt since I left her never felt so painful until this moment. She suffered not only my abandonment but also her mother’s. Except I was the one she was supposed to be able to depend on. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” was all I could say.
She looked me in the eye. “If you ever leave me again without an explanation or a promise to come back—” she started.
I waited for the violent description to follow, certain it would involve my nuts and a machete.
“I’ll never speak to you again.”
Her face was solemn, and I knew she was serious. She knew exactly what to say to scare the shit out of me. Threats of violence I could handle, but her words felt like a real machete to the chest, because I would rather die than live without her.
I nodded.
She looked down at the baby again. “Do you think I should call the cops in Arizona?”
“No, I’ll find her,” I said quickly. I could make a few calls and find her in a matter of hours, unlike the cops who wouldn’t waste time on another drug addict. And Cece didn’t need the stress of trying to find Betsy, not while she was pregnant.
We sat in silence, watching the little one eat until the bottle was gone. Cece burped him and then laid him in the crib. I looked around and noticed there was room for another. She turned on what I assumed was a video monitor and took my hand to pull me into the hall.
We went to my room, and I immediately started taking off her clothes.
“There is only one thing I want to do right now,” I said as I removed my own, careful not move my arm too fast. I pushed her to the bed before lowering the shades. I pulled her into my arms and buried my nose in her neck.
When I remained still for several moments, she giggled. “You want to sleep?”
“Hmm.” I was exhausted suddenly. It was as if the peace of being home was settling into my bones, making my muscles relax and weaken.
Cece wiggled, fitting her body against mine.
I knew there would be more to do later, more to deal with. Cece’s mom and Rem’s dad. Not to mention, my own family drama with Greg that I still had to face. I had to take Cece to the doctor and courthouse for a quickie marriage. She might want a big wedding, but I had a feeling she would be happy with keeping things small and private.
I also had to catch up on Aces’ business and find out where the Covenant stood. The Wraiths were moving into California. We might have a war on our hands very soon.
So today I just wanted to soak in the quiet softness that was Cece. Just her scent was enough to quiet my thoughts and bring everything into focus. Holding her in my arms made me remember that it was moments like this that really mattered. I wanted more of these moments. Up until now, my life had been good being a friend and a brother. But with Cece I was going to be so much more.
Lying there, I thought of the night Cece asked me about my greatest fear, about forgetting who I was or who I wanted to be. I realized now that I could never forget because I knew without a doubt what I wanted. I wanted my woman, my child, and my club.
Tomorrow would bring more battles, but we could face any challenge, knowing that we would never stop fighting for each other.
The End
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BONUS SAMPLE CHAPTER
TAKEN
Gwendolyn Casey
Copyright © 2017
Chapter One
“Please,” I whisper as roughened hands move over my naked skin, making me shiver and writhe. My arms are bound above my head and I can only see a fire burning near the corner. Everywhere else is darkness. Even the man touching me is darkness. His hands and mouth are setting me on fire wherever they wander.
His touch moves slowly over my body, learning and exploring, but also possessing. I feel him grasp my hips and squeezing for just a moment before moving on. Then I feel lips on my belly, kissing lightly.
I arch my back as his fingers come near my chest, wanting him to grip and pinch my aching breasts. But he simply brushes up the sides. I whimper. He never touches me where I need it the most.
His hands come to my neck where he gently wraps them around my throat. I feel his hard body press down on mine and his breath warms my lips. He growls and I moan in response, my lower half bucking into his, begging to be taken. I feel his thumb brush my lip and I gasp. I look up into his face, the fire light playing tricks so I never see the whole thing at once.
“Please,” I beg again.
“Soon,” he responds, his voice deep and rumbling. He bends to kiss me...
I jerk awake when I feel something on my shoulder.
“We’re here,” Brandon says. I look down to see his hand on my arm. I turn my head and pain shoots up my neck. I’m slumped awkwardly in the backseat of Rachel’s car with my head against the door. I must have fallen asleep somewhere in Montana. That is the last state line I remember crossing on our way from Minneapolis.
I give Brandon a sleepy smile and lean away from the door to push it open. The scent of forest invades my nose as I exit the vehicle and look around our camp site. The clean air is refreshing after the last few days. Our road trip has the car and the passengers stinking of fast food and potato chips.
I look at my best friend who just climbed out of the driver’s seat. “Finally,” Rachel comments, as she puts her arms over her head to stretch. Brandon and Chuck are out of the car as well, doing their own small stretches.
We’ve come all the way to Wolf’s Head for a music festival being held to support the national park with the same name.
And now that we are here, I’m eager for a couple minutes alone. “I’m going to take a little stroll to wake up,” I say to Rachel as I walk down the small road cutting through the campground. I try to walk fast so no one has time to join me. I slow down once I’m out of sight of the others so I can take in my surroundings.
I walk a little way down, passing other occupied campsites. The campground is so packed that it feels more like a trailer park than a woodsy get away. But I find a walking path that leads me into the forest just a couple yards down the road. I’m only a few feet down the path when I come to a ridge overlooking the grand Wolf�
��s Head Valley.
The land is blanketed in evergreens and the clear blue sky beyond makes it the perfect picture of nature’s splendor. I can see the small town of Wolf’s Head off to the right, but even that seems to be a production of nature. I half expect an American eagle to fly into the scene to make it complete. I send silent thanks to the US National Park Service.
I take a deep breath through my nose and exhale through my mouth. I’ve been looking forward to this road trip for a while.
My last year of college has been rough. I’ve been having trouble focusing, feeling restless and out of place. I’m a forestry major and I know conservation is what I want to do but something feels wrong, like I’m doing something wrong.
And I keep having these dreams. I can never remember what happens, but I know there is a man. I always forget what he looks like or even why he’s there. I wake up confused, frustrated, and … wet. I’m sure most women are prone to sex dreams every now and then, but these are different. This man is intense, dark and powerful.
I shiver slightly and then shake my head. Stop thinking about him.
I look out at the valley below and wonder what history it holds, what secrets. We have plenty of parks back on the east coast where I grew up and the University of Minnesota certainly has its fair share of local lakes and forests. But I’ve been longing to see the northwest for a while, as if there is something different about this place than all the others.
I’m so enamored with the view that I jump when I feel hands on my shoulders.
“Sorry, Mac. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Brandon says. He puts an arm across my chest and pulls me back against him. “What a view, huh?” he says and leans down to kiss my cheek.
Battlefield (The Covenant Book 2) Page 26