Heavily Patrick nodded and enlarged on the theme: how he had taken Erin’s daughter on a tour of the ghetto, how they had both been attacked and how Lol had pulled Belle from the river.
‘And it might never’ve come to light,’ breathed Erin disbelievingly. ‘I might never have known just how little you value the safety of my daughter.’ Two deep clefts appeared between her eyes. ‘I should’ve seen the way this was going when ye started talking about wishing ye’d done more to help them, saying ye were too old to start now. Well, ye certainly found a way round that didn’t ye, Father? Instead o’ doing it yourself ye found a silly young girl to do your bidding. I should never’ve come to live here. I could’ve controlled her on my own. But what chance has a mother against a silly old fool who puts stupid notions into her head? Well, ye’ve done a grand job, Father. Ye’ve turned a daughter against her own mother and ruined all our lives.’
‘Mother, try to see I’m not against you,’ Belle pleaded. ‘And it wasn’t Grandfather who set the wheels in motion. Do you recall the time you took me to see the place where you were born?’
Erin let out a hysterical laugh. ‘Oh, God, that’s funny! That’s great. Here I am blaming everybody for something that I brought about meself. Oh, Mother o’God, that’s hilarious.’
‘Mother, please.’ Belle laid a hand on her arm.
Erin shook it off. ‘Say you’re wrong an’ we’ll forget all this bad feeling,’ she asked abruptly.
Belle looked at her pityingly. ‘I can’t, Mother. I’m sorry but I’ve made up my mind. It’s something I must do.’
Erin addressed her father again. ‘I’m begging your forgiveness. I hope ye’ll not bear ill-will for the things I said. I meant none of it.’
Patrick reached for her fingers though failed to make contact. ‘’Tis already forgotten.’
‘Then please, please will ye try to talk some sense into her stubborn head an’ tell her how she wrongs herself?’
Patrick looked at his grand-daughter. Please don’t let me down, her eyes were saying. ‘Erin, muirnin…’
‘Oh!’ Erin spun from the table impatiently, then veered back. ‘Mother, for pity’s sake surely you’re not going to play accessory to such a crime? This is your house as well as Father’s. Tell them what fools they’re being.’
‘Belle, your mother has a point, you know,’ said Thomasin. ‘There must be other ways you can help those less-fortunate while putting your education to good use at the same time.’
‘But I intend to put it to good use,’ replied Belle calmly. ‘I don’t just propose to fetch these urchins from the streets simply to put them in glass showcases. These children have brains too, but never have the good fortune to stretch them.’ She held up her hand to stall her grandmother’s interruption. ‘I know you’re about to acquaint me with the Education Act. Well, that is all very nice for those to whom it applies, but what of children like Lol who have no parents? Who’s to care if he goes to school or not?’
‘There aren’t many such as Lol,’ replied Thomasin.
‘Aren’t there? Have you found that out for yourself or did you read it in some book? And even if it were true, even if there were but a handful of children who had slipped the authority’s net, would that make my job less important? Though, at this point, I have to confess I’m not so much interested in educating them as in caring for them. Who has the right to deny them that?’
Thomasin beseeched Erin with her hands. ‘What else can I say?’
‘You could forbid her to use your home for her purposes,’ said the woman earnestly. ‘You must.’
Thomasin fought with herself. She could sympathise with both sides of the argument. She persisted a little longer with her grand-daughter. ‘Why don’t you put a few more years on your back, love?’
‘In the hope that I’ll forget about it?’ asked Belle. ‘Sorry, Nan, I don’t see any point in delaying the matter. In the interlude some of those children may die.’
‘Eh, you’re as stubborn as your mother,’ breathed Thomasin. ‘One of you’ll have to give.’
‘I think I should say that if I don’t receive your permission,’ said Belle, ‘I shall find myself living accommodation amongst those whom I wish to help.’
‘I think you’re forgetting, madam, that you’re still under age!’ snapped Erin.
‘I’m not so sure I like your tone either,’ contributed Thomasin. ‘It stinks of blackmail.’
‘I didn’t intend it to,’ replied Belle. ‘I just want you all to know that nothing is going to stop me from helping these children.’
‘And just who d’ye think is going to support ye while y’indulge yourself?’ barked Erin.
‘I don’t expect anyone to subsidise me, Mother. I shall find work that can be undertaken from home. While I was at university I had some sketches accepted by a women’s journal, so I shall probably continue in that field – or maybe tuition.’
‘You have been doing a lot of thinking!’ retorted Erin.
‘Erin, the child’s obviously got strong feelings on this,’ said Patrick, then, including Thomasin in his proposition, added, ‘Don’t ye think ’twould be better if she carried out her plan from here instead of having to live in some ghetto?’
Thomasin agreed. ‘As much as I understand your feelings Erin, your father has it right. Belle isn’t going to change her mind. What she proposes would be better done under our supervision.’
‘It never occurs to either of ye to simply forbid it,’ replied her daughter angrily, then to Belle, ‘There are places, you know, where a young woman can be locked up until she comes to her senses.’
‘If that’s what you wish to do then I can’t stop you,’ answered Belle, looking directly into her mother’s eyes. ‘But could you do it knowing that it would make me hate you for the rest of my life?’
Erin’s eyes were all whites, her lips fused into a bitter gash. There was a blur of movement and a sudden crack, followed by Erin’s swift exit. Belle fended off the attempts of consolation from her grandparents and stood looking at the door through which her mother had departed, the imprint of Erin’s hand spreading scarlet fingers across her cheek. It was the last contact the two would make for some time.
Chapter Thirty-Three
When the sobbing had ceased Erin pulled herself from the disarranged counterpane and moved to the window where she flopped onto a chair. Outside was brilliant sunshine, in here desolation. She stared sightlessly at the bark of the tree that grew near the window, her mind empty for the while, until a Red Admiral butterfly settled upon the craggy surface catching her attention as it spread its wings to the sun.
The colour came and went as the butterfly alternated the position of its wings, one second a splash of brightness, the next almost disappearing, its duller underside merging with the bark of the tree. It stayed for a long time basking in the sunshine. She watched it closely; following the pattern of its wings took her mind off her troubles. Suddenly there was another flash of colour and the butterfly was gone, snatched away to feed a hungry robin. Startled, she continued to gaze at the spot where the insect had been for some seconds, lips parted in protest.
Then she relaxed into despondency again. Why should I be surprised? she asked herself dolefully. Isn’t that the vein of my whole life? Everything I ever prized snatched away in the blink of an eye. Sam, the baby, and now Belle. She recalled that dreadful time when she had been left alone with a crippled toddler with nothing to look forward to, no future in sight, and then she had discovered Belle’s talent and the sun had come from behind the cloud. It wasn’t going to come out this time. However brightly it might shine out there, in her mind was an infinite eclipse. Full circle: her parents had striven so hard to be free of those dreaded courtyards and now their grand-daughter was intent on taking them back there.
She did not go down again that evening. The family, knowing how this must have affected Erin, did not expect her to. But when she did not show herself at breakfast the following day Patrick
asked the manservant if Mrs Teale had requested anything to be taken to her room.
‘Not to my knowledge,’ replied John. ‘Cook was unaware that Mrs Teale was ill.’ He knew quite well of course, as did all the other staff, that Erin’s absence was not due to illness, yet must undergo this charade for propriety’s sake. ‘If you wish I could inform Mrs Howgego to send a tray up.’ He enjoyed relaying orders to Cook.
Patrick declined the offer. ‘Mrs Teale may wish to be left undisturbed. I’ll call in an’ see her meself after breakfast.’
But it was Belle who first encountered Erin when she had breakfasted and was taking Lol to the schoolroom. Erin came along the landing towards them. Belle tendered a wary smile and said, ‘Good morning, Mother, I hope you…’ Her voice petered out as Erin waltzed straight past without acknowledgement. She might not have been there. ‘Mother?’ Belle’s eyes followed Erin to the staircase. ‘Mother!’
‘Ah, Helen,’ said Erin on meeting with the maid. ‘I’m afraid I overslept this morning. Will ye extend my apologies to Mrs Howgego an’ ask if she’d be so kind as to pack a little something for me to take with me to work. I shan’t have time for breakfast.’
‘Very good, ma’am.’ The maid bobbed and went to do as she was bidden. Still not acknowledging her daughter’s proximity Erin proceeded on her way.
‘’Smy fault,’ provided Lol as Belle, with disturbed expression, moved him along to the schoolroom. ‘Yer shouldn’t’ve brung me here.’
‘Nonsense,’ she replied. ‘You couldn’t continue to live as you had been doing. Mother will come round, you’ll see.’
‘Not while I’m here,’ insisted Lol. ‘She dun’t like me.’
‘That isn’t the case. She’s just angry at me.’
‘Then why did she pretend I weren’t there?’
‘She’s thinking to get back at me, that’s all. People are like that. Come now, let’s get on with some learning.’
‘Aunt Belle?’ started Lol, using the title which Belle had instructed him to use, even though he thought it silly as the girl wasn’t much older than himself. ‘I thought you didn’t care for all this schoolin’ lark.’
‘I didn’t particularly enjoy it, no,’ answered Belle.
‘Then why are you makin’ me do all these lessons? Is it just so’s yer can have someone to bully like yer ma bullied you?’
Belle cuffed his ear lightly. ‘There comes a time in everyone’s life when one is faced with tasks which one would rather not do but which must be done.’
‘Ho, does one?’ Lol pranced along in front of her, hand on hip.
Belle threatened retribution. ‘And the first of those tasks is obviously to teach you how to act in the presence of a lady. Come here while I give you a drubbing.’
Lol ran off, laughing.
Predictably, the first lesson made little impression on Lol who was unused to sitting still for such long periods. He listened assiduously for some time until Belle’s repetition of ‘C A T. C A T.’ became just too much and what concentration he had mustered lapsed into boredom. ‘Can’t we do summat else?’ he finally burst out. ‘I’m sick o’ writin’.’
‘But we’ve hardly done anything, Lol,’ scoffed Belle. ‘You surely didn’t imagine you were going to be able to read and write without some effort? Come, just copy a few more letters.’
Lol complied, but it was not long before he started to fidget again. Belle gave in. ‘I think that’s enough for one morning. I’m sure I wouldn’t want you to feel as I did about schooling. Let’s go and ask John to bring the carriage round. I’ve an urge to scan the streets again. You can be a great help to me in that direction, Lol. You’ll be able to point out all the children who are most in need.’
‘Bring ’em back ’ere yer mean?’ he said doubtfully.
‘Of course, that’s the whole idea.’ She picked up his chagrin. ‘Now what’s the matter with you?’
‘I thought it were gonna be just me livin’ ’ere,’ he muttered into his shirt-front.
‘Don’t be selfish, Lol. I should’ve thought that you above all people should understand why I’m doing this.’
‘No, I don’t. Why are yer?’
‘That seems to me an unnecessary question, Lol. Just look around you. Is it fair that I should live like this and other people live as you’ve been doing for years?’
He shrugged. ‘In’t no right nor wrong about it. ’S just the way it is. Some folk are rich, some poor.’
‘But didn’t you ever feel bitter when you saw, say, a restaurant full of rich people stuffing themselves with goodies while you perhaps hadn’t had a meal in days? Didn’t you ever feel a twinge of injustice when you looked in a butcher’s window and saw a juicy chop that you’d never be able to afford?’
Lol screwed up his nose and shook his head. ‘No – I’d just pinch it.’
Belle sighed. ‘Well, there’ll be no call for any of that now. If you want something you only have to ask.’
‘You mean if I wanted that gold clock over there I’d just have to ask an’ you’d give it me?’
‘That is not what I meant, Lol. You can’t eat a clock. I meant that you’ll never go hungry again, never be cold.’ She reached for his hand. ‘Never want for anything, least of all affection.’
‘Yer mean, yer love me?’
This was stretching things a little; Belle was not one for sentiment. But she didn’t want to hurt him. ‘Well… I’m very fond of you.’
‘Cor!’ he beamed, then added, ‘I love you an’ all.’ She made the mistake of asking why. ‘Cos yer gimme things,’ he told her.
‘That’s not love,’ she informed him.
‘Innit? Well, I still like yer any road. Nobody gimme half the things you ’ave.’
‘Come on,’ she smiled. ‘Let’s go see if anyone else is in need of our assistance.’ She led him down to the kitchen where she asked Cook for a basket to be filled with food from the larder.
‘Well, I don’t know as I should, Miss Belle,’ said a wary Mrs Howgego. ‘The mistress isn’t here to give her consent.’
‘If there’s any comeback just say I ordered you to do it, Cook,’ replied Belle and moving to the larder frustrated any other protest. ‘Now, let’s see… plenty of eggs. Put half a dozen of those in and one of those pies…’
‘I can’t let you have that, Miss Belle,’ complained Mrs Howgego. ‘That’s for supper.’
‘Oh well, put in a jar of raspberry preserve, there’s plenty of that.’ She pointed to the store of tea. ‘Some of that,’ the finger moved over the shelves. ‘Some of that, a bit of that, and that bit of cheese. That should do.’
‘Can I be allowed to ask what you want with all this?’ enquired Cook.
‘Call it a peace-offering,’ replied Belle, hooking her arm through the handle of the basket.
Cook gave an exclamation as Belle and the boy left through the kitchen exit. ‘That girl, I shall never weigh her up. She’s as many sides to her character as facets to a diamond – and she’s twice as capable of cutting through things. One minute she’s behaving like Lady Manners, the next she’s divvying all our belongings to the poor. Anyway, come on, Vinnie, don’t just stand there gawpin’, that table wants scrubbing.’
* * *
‘You know, I think it’d be a better idea if we didn’t take the carriage,’ Belle told Lol as they crunched down the gravelled drive.
‘I don’t think any of it’s a good idea,’ answered Lol unhappily. ‘At least with the carriage we’d be able to make a quick getaway. Wha’ happens if they set on yer like yesterday?’
‘Don’t be such a pessimist, Lol. I’m sure they’ll accept my apology quite graciously.’
‘What’s a pissimist?’ He laughed aloud. ‘Oh, I know, it’s somebody who can’t hit the pot.’
‘Don’t be vulgar, Lol. A pessimist is someone who always looks on the black side of everything.’
‘Like your mam?’
She smiled sadly. ‘You could say that.’
&
nbsp; John was not at all pleased to be told his young mistress no longer needed the carriage after he had all but broken his neck getting it ready. Belle compromised. ‘Very well, you can take us so far, then wait.’
The short journey was hardly worth his effort but he was glad to doze while Miss Belle and the ragamuffin went off about their business.
Despite Belle’s claims about the acceptance of her apology she could not help the tremble of apprehension that jellied her legs. ‘You’ll have to show me the way,’ she told her companion. ‘Can you remember where we picked up those children yesterday?’
He led her there and at her further request took her to the door of the woman who had abused her the previous day. It was impossible for Belle to square her shoulders, but she showed her spirit by rapping briskly on the wood. Whilst waiting for it to be answered she swapped wondering glances with the boy.
‘Oh, it’s you, is it?’ The woman’s face hardened when she saw the identity of the callers. ‘I thought it were doctor. What d’you want, then?’
‘I’ve come to apologise,’ said Belle without preface. ‘My actions and words yesterday were thoughless and inexcusable. This is small recompense, I know,’ she held out the basket, ‘but I hope you will accept it and not think too harshly of me. I was genuinely trying to help, however clumsily.’
The woman’s face melted at the edges but was still suspicious as she reached for the basket to examine the contents. She did not speak.
‘I know it’s barely adequate to make up for the worry I must have caused you,’ said Belle.
‘No… no, it’s very thoughtful,’ answered the woman dubiously, and stepped aside for them to enter. ‘Will you take tea with us?’
‘That’s most forgiving.’ Belle smiled in relief. Shadowed by Lol she stepped into the little house, which despite its spartan condition, was neat and clean.
‘I’m sorry we’re in such a mess, Miss…?’ Belle provided her name. ‘Miss Teale. Sit down an’ I’ll make a brew.’
Erin’s Child Page 51