Camryn
He’s misunderstanding my hesitation. It isn’t that I’m ready to go all the way with him. I know I am. But before I do, I want him to know that I’ve never done this before. Guys don’t find virgins as attractive as girls who have experience.
“I’m a virgin,” I whisper, so soft the roar of the waves crashing into the beach almost swallows the words up.
He pulls back and stares at me. One side of his mouth quirks upward. “I know that, Cam.”
I nod. “Yeah and um, so, I know that you’re probably not. So…”
“So you think that I find you less attractive because I’ve done this before and you haven’t? You’re right; I’m not a virgin. But damn if I don’t wish I were right now. I want more than anything to be able to experience you with the same freshness and novelty that you’ll experience me. Cam, anything that I’ve done before this moment is meaningless. There has never been, and there will never be, another you.”
I smile and run my hands up his arms, which are still cloaked with a jacket and a shirt. That’s two items too many. “Take this off.”
His eyes widen, and he sits up to remove his layers. When his jacket is off, I take over, sitting up to unbutton his shirt. I look into his eyes the whole time, and the burning desire I can see in them pushes me over the edge. My eyes drop to his biceps, and I run my hands over the ink etched into his skin.
“I’ve never asked you about these,” I realize. “What do they mean?”
“This one,” he replies, pointing to his left arum, “is a tribal symbol I saw sprayed onto an overpass in Baltimore. It spoke to me, so I took a picture and brought it to an artist.”
I nod, running the tattoo with fascination. “And this one?” I kiss his other arm, and the muscle jumps under my lips.
The tattoo is just two words scrolling around his arm: FIND YOURSELF.
“This one has always served as a reminder not to lose myself in all the bullshit. Whatever else happened around me, my job was to stay focused and find what I am supposed to be living for. I found half of my soul when I picked up a guitar for the first time. I found the other half when I moved here and met you.”
I push him back on the sand, and proceed to lose myself in him for the first time.
Chapter 22
Revelations
Cooper: If you think last night didn’t change everything, you’re wrong. I’m never letting you go now.
I sit up in bed, reading my early-morning text from Cooper. I smile foolishly, still feeling giddy in my midsection from my night with him. And wobbly in my legs.
My reply was simple.
Camryn: Oh, no. Stalker boyfriend is so not sexy. Unless he has a gift.
When he texts me back, he asks me to meet him at our spot on the coastal road later this afternoon. Still smiling, I go into the bathroom to get ready for the day.
Cooper
I just put my phone down on my aunt’s coffee table after texting Camryn date plans when my phone dinged with a notification of a new message.
Smiling, I pick it up again, expecting Camryn to ask what she should wear.
Unknown: You can’t avoid me forever. I have things to explain to you.
Lilly? I sigh. What is this girl’s deal? She just doesn’t take “I’m not that into you” for an answer. How the hell did she even get my number? Well, I’d be perfectly clear this time. And I’m going to do it in person, so there will be no misunderstandings.
Cooper: Meet Me at The Gull. It’s a restaurant at the oceanfront. You know it?
I wait impatiently for her to text me back. I’m ready to end this thing with her once and for all, so I can get on with my life. With Camryn.
Lilly: I’ll find it. See you in fifteen minutes.
I put the phone down and go to rinse off in the shower.
***
When I arrive at The Gull, Lilly is standing in front of the wood-framed door waiting for me.
“Let’s get this over with,” I greet her gruffly, opening the door and allowing her to enter first.
When we are seated in a rickety old booth, we sit staring at each other for a full minute before I finally speak.
“Well? What’s so important you have to stalk me over it?”
She narrows her eyes. “You really don’t remember me.”
My eyes widen. “What are you talking about?”
She sighs. “Cooper. We used to play together when we were little. My dad used to call me ‘Lil.’ Our dads were best friends.”
Something shifts in my mind, trying to push its way to the surface. The image of a laughing little girl, running in front of me in a city playground flashes into my memory, and I reel in reaction to it.
“Lil?” I ask incredulously. “What are you doing here? You just moved here, too, out of the blue? I should have recognized you. Why didn’t I remember?”
“Because after your dad left, your life completely fell apart. You went through a lot, Cooper. I’m not surprised you blocked most of it out. I don’t know what kid could handle seeing their dad almost killed. What you saw that night…it must have traumatized you. I thought your mom would have told you about it, but when I spoke to her in the fall back in Maryland, she…”
“Wait. What? You spoke to my mom in Maryland? What are you talking about?”
“I’ll start at the beginning. You ready?”
I just stare at her. I know my mouth is wide open in shock, but I can’t seem to close it.
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’ We were best friends from the minute we could walk, and our dads were in business together. At least that’s what they called it. Our families are rooted in organized crime, Cooper. I can’t escape it, and neither can you.”
I keep staring, but now my eyes drift toward the door, wondering if I should make a quick exit. Lilly Brewer is certifiable.
“Your dad is in charge of one of the biggest organizations on the East coast,” she goes on.
“My father’s dead,” I say. I’m still staring at her like she’s lost her mind, because she has.
“No, he’s not, Cooper,” she says softly, leaning on the table. Her eyes earnestly lock on mine. “He’s not dead.”
“You’re telling me my father didn’t die all those years ago?”
“That’s why I called you royalty. You have the mob in your blood, Cooper. Just like I do. You’re supposed to take the whole unit over for him one day. He hasn’t forgotten about you, Cooper. My dad is still his right hand man.”
“You’re saying that my father is in the mob?” I edged closer to the end of my booth seat, ready to make a run for it.
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. And your mom sent me here, to get you to think about returning to Maryland and claiming your rightful place next to your dad.”
“My mom?”
“When we were five, one of your dad’s men attempted to assassinate him. You were with him. My dad helped yours pretend to be dead so that he could go into hiding until the culprit was found. Your mom had to go along with the plan, but I think they’ve been in love all along. I’m not sure; I only know what I’ve been sent here to do.”
It took me a minute to respond to her, but when I did, I said, “Which is?”
“Remind you of who you are. And I’ve been wildly unsuccessful so far, because you’ve been so difficult. And you always have that girl lurking around.”
I shake my head vehemently. “I know who I am. And it has nothing to do with any of this bullshit you’re talking about. Look, Lil, I realize now that I have some fond memories of you from so long ago. But that was then. I have a life now.”
“Cooper—“
“No,” I cut her off. “I’m done with this conversation. I don’t care what you think you came up here to do. I don’t even care if anything you’re saying is the truth. My father is dead for all intensive purposes. I’m going to keep it that way.”
I stand up.
She stands quickly, too. “Please don’t go, Cooper.
”
I leave our booth and walk toward the door. “I’m done, Lilly. No more.”
She rushes up behind me, talking quickly. “Cooper, you are going to want to know your dad. I know this is a lot to take in right now, but this life you’ve been living down here isn’t real. It isn’t you.”
I continue to walk until we’re outside of the restaurant, then I whirl around to face her.
“What do you know about me? You knew me for like, what? Ten minutes when we were little kids? You don’t know me now. You don’t know what kind of man I’ve grown into, despite my loser of a father who never decided to show up for anything in my entire life. The father I thought was dead. So don’t act like you know me, Lilly. You don’t. I have a life here. My band, my girl—“
“Camryn!” she spits. “She’s only going to hold you back from what you’re meant to be.”
“Good,” I answer. “Because if I’m meant to be an assistant mob boss to my crime lord of a father, then I’ll pass. Thanks, anyway.”
“Cooper,” she says. “Your crime-lord father is here.”
“What?”
“In Virginia. He didn’t think I’d be able to get the job done, and get you to come back to Maryland. So he and your mom showed up a few days ago to persuade you himself. He’s waiting for you now.”
“Well I’m not coming,” I say flatly.
But I sway on my feet.
Lilly shakes her head sadly. “I was worried you’d say that. That’s why I had to use this.” She pulls a small bottle out of her purse.
I stare at it, a hazy fog beginning to settle in front of my eyes. “You drugged me?”
Everything around me begins to blur and my legs wobble like Jell-O as I walk. My knees aren’t supposed to be knocking together this way, are they?
“Only because I love you,” she answers. And right before I pass out, she shoves me into the passenger seat of one of the parked cars in the lot.
Chapter 23
Fear
Camryn
I pace nervously on the sand-dusted asphalt as I wait for Cooper. I’m standing in the place where he wanted to meet, but he’s late. Cooper has never been late before.
As I stare into the distant ocean that usually calms me but doesn’t today, an engine rumbles distantly. It grows closer and louder, and I turn to see a motorcycle cruising to a stop behind my Corolla.
The rider steps onto the sandy pavement, walking toward me. As the shiny purple helmet comes off, the rider’s long brown hair tumbles down, cascading around her shoulders in heavy waves.
Lilly.
My breath comes faster as she approaches, and I can’t keep my thoughts from tumbling into a jumbled mess in my head. What was she doing here? Did Cooper send her in his place? He would never do that. I pull my phone out of my pocket, my eyes never leaving Lilly’s.
“Don’t bother,” she says. “He isn’t coming.”
“How would you know that?” I ask her angrily.
She smirks, and I want to slap it off of her face.
“Because,” she answers. “He’s just not that into you, Cam. Can’t you see that? If he were, he never would have kissed me. I don’t know how he explained that kiss away, but it was real. And he wanted it just as much as I did. Stay away from him. You’re only getting in the way of what he’s meant to be.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean, ‘what he’s meant to be’?” I ask.
“It means this isn’t a fairy-tale, Cam. He’s not going to ride in on a white horse and save you from your pathetic life. He’s meant for something greater than this. Than you. Stay out of his way. And mine.”
It‘s like she’s wasted enough words on me. Her lip curls in disgust, and she turns and walks away, pulling on her helmet as she goes.
When her bike roars away with me still staring after her like a zombie, I finally come to my senses and move. I race to my car, and I’m strong enough to keep the tears from streaming down my face until I drive away.
***
“And then she just rode away?” Dara asks with disbelief.
“Yeah,” I say, falling back onto my pillows.
“So you haven’t talked to Coop since?”
“Of course not,” I answer. “I’m not a stalker, Dara. Do you know that I gave him a gift last night that I’ve never given anyone before?” I look at her pointedly.
She gasps. “Cam! No. Really?”
“Really. So I can’t believe that he stood me up today and sent her in his place. How humiliating! I got the message loud and clear. Well, not so clear. I still don’t know what she meant when she said he was meant for something greater. But it doesn’t matter. If she wants Cooper, she can have him.”
Dara shakes her head sympathetically. “You don’t mean that. You’re more of a fighter than that, Cam.”
I stare at her, shock registering on my face. “Are you kidding me? You should be happy I’m giving up on Cooper and me. You were never our biggest cheerleader.”
“I’m your biggest cheerleader,” she corrects. “Cooper makes you deliriously happy, and I love that about him. And I don’t trust this Lilly chick. I never trust bottle brunettes. Something’s not right. Has Cooper texted you?”
“No.”
“And does that make sense to you? Has he stopped texting you since the night of Sarah’s party?”
“No,” I admit. Dara is right. I haven’t heard from Cooper after our missed date. And that isn’t like him. He’s been ridiculously attentive since we made up. So why would he just stop now? Something isn’t right.
I grab my purse. “I’m going to his aunt’s house.”
“I’m coming with you,” she answers, pulling out her phone.
“Who are you texting?”
“Brandon,” she answers.
“Dara, no! Stop! Brandon will tell Luka, and he will feel the need to get totally involved.”
“Maybe they should get involved.”
I take a deep breath and shake my head. “I’m going by myself. I don’t need to drag you into this.”
“You’ve lost your mind if you think I’m going to let you do this alone. Who knows what that psycho was talking about? And I’m worried about Cooper too.”
Dara is wearing her most stubborn expression, the one that says she has already stopped listening to me and has made up her mind.
“I won’t call Bran if you don’t want me to,” she said. “But I’m going to send him a text and tell him what we’re doing. I don’t have to tell him exactly where we’re going. Okay?”
“Okay,” I reply. Secretly, I’m happy to have her company.
We drive my Corolla over to Cooper’s, and I worry the whole way. Will he be there? If not, will his aunt know where he is? What could have happened to make him stand me up? How did Lilly know how to find me?
Too many questions. I need answers. Now.
Dara waits in the car while I knock on the huge front door. I wait, and when the door cracks open, a familiar face peers out at me. The door opens wider, and I’m staring at Cooper’s mother.
“Um, hello,” I greet her.
She looks at me a moment, and then gives me her interpretation of a smile. It’s cold, though. There’s no emotion behind that smile except maybe disgust.
“Hello.” Her green eyes are Cooper’s. They stare at me without the warmth that his always hold.
“I’m looking for Cooper,” I say.
“Why would you be doing that?” she asks sweetly.
“I’m his girlfriend, Camryn Grimes,” I answer her, putting out my hand for her to shake.
She looks at my hand, and then back up at me without taking it.
“I know who you are, Miss Grimes. Cooper is not here. And I’m here now, so if I were you, I’d find another boy to dig your claws into. My son is off limits.”
She closes the door in my face.
I stand there for what I think is a full minute, staring at the wooden door in shock.
Then I turn and stalk
back to the car.
“What happened?” Dara asks.
“That was Cooper’s mom,” I mutter. “She’s a bitch. It was the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me. She basically told me to kiss of, and then she slammed the door in my face.”
“Do you think she knows something?”
I bite my bottom lip, thinking. “I don’t know, Dara. I mean…she’s a mom. She wouldn’t be involved in something that would hurt Cooper, would she? But something is off about her, for sure.”
“What do you want to do?”
I watch the house for a second, and then pull the car out of the driveway and down the road. I pull over to the curb and sit, my eyes glued to the rearview mirror.
After about a minute, my instincts are rewarded and a black sedan pulls out of Cooper’s driveway and roars down the street.
“I’m going to follow her,” I say.
Chapter 24
Line of Fire
Cooper
I open my eyes, blink twice, and close them again against the searing pain that ricochets through my head. I groan, and try again.
When I open my eyes, I’m sitting alone on a cement floor in a cheerless prism of a room. I blink rapidly, trying to focus on something, and have to close my eyes again against the pain.
What the hell happened?
And where am I?
I check my pockets for my phone. Gone.
I check for my keys, and those are gone, too. I need to move, to figure out where I am. I slowly open my eyes again. The pain is no less blinding, but I take a few deep breaths to steady myself and get used to it. Then I rise to my knees.
I almost pass out. I just can’t get my bearings, and the pain in my head is debilitating. Again, I take some deep breaths to steady myself.
Then I take off crawling toward the giant metal rectangle I assume is the door.
I go painstakingly slow: one knee and then the other, one arm and then the other. I’m a human slug leaving a trail of ache on the plain, brain-matter-gray cement slab. When I reach the door, I arch up and try to push down on the lever knob.
Locked.
I sit back and survey the room. There is nothing in here with me but stacks boxes. I study one, noting a logo I think I recognize as belonging to an electronics brand. Nothing I can use to jimmy the door or use for a battering ram. The ceiling, high and unreachable, looms over me like a cloud-covered sky.
Color Blind Page 17