Seeing his handsome face smiling down at her, she felt his absence more sharply and the sense of dread became stronger. She tried to push the feeling away as she trudged up the stairs, turning right on the landing. As she entered her bedroom she felt calmer, the design of the room doing its intended job. This room was her sanctuary and she always came here to relax at the end of the day.
Nestled in a small alcove under a shuttered window were a love seat and a small end table. A cordless phone sat in the middle of the oak and glass table. The alcove was where Abby enjoyed relaxing with a good book.
Even now, under the stress she felt, she found herself automatically walking over to the love seat, sinking into its soft fullness and leaning back against the cushions. She allowed herself to close her eyes for a moment and felt her baby kick.
The motions of her unborn child reminded her of all the responsibilities she had, and she felt her stress level edge up a notch. She opened her eyes and picked up the phone, staring at it as she realized she didn’t know where to start. She set the phone down and leaned back, forcing herself to relax.
A moment later, the phone rang.
She jumped at the sudden noise, her heart racing. Then a tiny smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she picked it up, imagining Eric on the other end, chagrined and apologetic.
“Hello?” she said, feeling a cheerfulness that had been lacking all afternoon.
Silence greeted her.
“Hello?” she repeated, her smile fading.
Still no response.
“Who’s there?” She gripped the phone with both hands as she listened to what sounded like muffled breathing on the other end. “Eric? Is that you?”
She heard a click and knew the caller had hung up. She stared at the silent device, alarm and uncertainty beginning to grow within her.
As she thought about Eric and the trials they had experienced in their marriage, a familiar fear mixed with the worry she had already been experiencing. Abby stood and began pacing, stopping at her bedroom window and gazing toward the street, hoping against hope that Eric would pull into their driveway and put all her concerns to rest.
Maybe I should call the police like Tim suggested. She immediately dismissed the idea, not yet ready to believe her husband could be hurt. Besides, if the police knew Eric was in an accident, wouldn’t the police call me? Staring into the empty street, she felt completely alone.
She lay on the bed, trying to push away the sense of unease. Then, as she thought about an incident about six years earlier, she became more worried.
Could he be in some kind of trouble?
The noise of the girls bounding up the stairs broke Abby’s troubled meditation. The sound faded as the girls went toward their own rooms.
Restlessness pushed Abby off the bed, and after a moment she found herself in her bathroom standing in front of the medicine cabinet. As she pulled the door open, her gaze was drawn to Eric’s things. His shaving cream and razor were there as well as his cologne.
She reached in and touched the cologne, hesitating for only a moment before pulling it out and unscrewing the cap. Tilting it toward her nose, she breathed in the musky scent. As she smelled the fragrance he had worn ever since they’d met, emotions and memories intermingled. She thought back to the secret Eric had shared with her soon after they had started dating, then replaced the cap and set the bottle back on the shelf, not wanting to consider that just now.
Chapter 3
“Where’s Daddy?” Susannah asked at the dinner table that evening.
Abby bit her lip. “I’m not sure, but he’ll probably be home soon. Now eat your dinner.”
Susannah accepted the answer without question and Abby looked over at nine-year-old Tiffany to see her reaction. Tiffany seemed unconcerned and Abby realized with relief that she was hiding her anxiety better than she thought. She tried to fill the silence with questions about the girls’ school and friends. They eagerly talked about their day and she only had to half listen to their conversation as the other half of her mind thought about Eric and where he could be.
Adrenaline rushed through her veins as different scenarios flashed across her mind. The baby must have felt it too, because Abby could feel her little one moving around more than normal.
Glancing at her watch, Abby saw it was six forty-five.
“Mom? How come you’re not eating?” Tiffany asked as she pointed at Abby’s plate. “You’re not going to get any dessert.”
“What?” She looked at her older daughter, trying to smile back at the joke.
Susannah joined in. “Yeah, Mommy. No dessert for you.”
Abby pushed back from the table and carried her plate and glass to the sink. She set the dirty dishes inside and leaned against the counter, staring unseeingly at the charming room that was the center of her home. Then her gaze darted around the room, trying to find something to focus on, something to help her figure out what to do next.
“Who wants to go out for ice cream?” she suddenly asked, turning to face her daughters.
The girls squealed with delight.
As she backed the minivan out of the garage, Abby hoped that when they returned Eric would somehow be waiting for them. And though it was possible Eric might call or come home while they went for ice cream, Abby could not stand being in the house any longer. She had to get out.
Driving through town, Abby couldn’t stop herself from looking at every car they passed and down every side street in hopes of spotting Eric’s car. It was after she swerved into the lane next to hers and heard a horn blare that she realized the whole purpose of going out for ice cream was an excuse to look for Eric.
She didn’t care. She continued looking and when she saw the flashing lights of a police car and a tow truck to the right, she turned sharply down the street to investigate.
“Wheeeee!” Susannah cried from the backseat. “Do it again, Mommy.”
Abby ignored her and drove slowly by to see who was involved in the accident. In the intersection, three police cars formed a makeshift barricade around the damaged vehicles. One of the cars was being loaded onto a flatbed truck. It wasn’t Eric’s. The other car was still in the center of the protective barrier and Abby couldn’t see what kind of car it was, but she could make out the color. It was blue. Eric’s Jeep was red.
Tremendous relief swept over her when she realized neither of the cars was Eric’s. At the same time, her heart constricted in fear and sadness.
What if it had been Eric? What would we do without him?
She forced the thought from her mind as she continued past the accident and drove to the shopping center.
Absently watching her daughters lick their ice-cream cones, Abby’s mind flashed to the conversation she’d had with Eric soon after they’d begun dating—and the subsequent incident in their marriage. Not yet able to consider his returning to that lifestyle, she used all of her self-discipline to push it to the back of her mind.
After several minutes of waiting for her daughters to finish their ice cream, Abby felt an urgency to get home to see if there had been any contact from Eric.
“Are you girls almost done? We need to get back home.”
“Is Daddy there?” Susannah asked, her eyes bright with anticipation.
Abby tried to put a reassuring smile on her face. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I hope so. Hurry, so we can go see.”
Within a few minutes they finished their cones and climbed into the minivan. This time Abby avoided looking at other cars on the road, staring straight ahead until they reached their driveway.
As the garage door slid open, she immediately saw the empty space where Eric’s Jeep should have been. Her heart sank as the hope he would somehow be home by now was smashed. Then her spirits lifted at the thought of a message on the answering machine.
She hurried the girls into the house and went straight into the office to check for any messages. Though the light wasn’t blinking, Abby punched the PLAY button, just to hear the
message from that morning, just to hear Eric’s voice.
“I . . . I guess I just missed you. I wanted to tell you that I love you and . . . I’m sorry.”
As she listened to the now-familiar words, she wondered if she had misunderstood the intent of the message earlier that day. She had assumed he was apologizing for not accompanying her to the doctor’s appointment. Now she began to believe it was something altogether different.
Confusion and worry coiled together in her mind. She didn’t understand what was happening.
She went upstairs to help the girls get ready for bed.
“Mom, why isn’t Dad here to tuck us in?” Susannah asked as she climbed into bed. “He always tucks us in.”
Abby looked from Susannah to Tiffany. “I’m not sure when he’ll be home.”
“How come, Mom?” Susannah asked.
Stress made Abby’s tone sharper than usual. “I don’t know, okay?”
Both girls stared at their mother.
“I’m sorry,” Abby said, putting a warm smile on her face. “Now, let’s get you tucked in.”
After the girls were settled in for the night, Abby wandered down the stairs. It was getting late and she feared Eric would not be coming home at all that night.
Just like before. She shook her head. I thought that was behind us.
She considered calling her mother or sister, but immediately dismissed the idea, not ready to confirm their low opinion of her husband.
Walking slowly around the house, Abby locked the front door, activated the burglar alarm, and closed all the blinds. As she reached for the book she had gotten from the library earlier that day, she saw the green origami bird on the bookshelf and vowed she wouldn’t open it until Eric was there with her.
Unexpected tears filled her eyes as the reality that her husband was missing seeped into her very soul. Abby sank to the floor and leaned against the bookshelf, tears rolling down her face. All kinds of images raced through her mind, and now that she didn’t have to put up a brave front for her daughters, she let the pictures flow freely.
Eric, what have you done? Could I have helped you? Why did you leave?
Brushing the tears from her cheeks, she slowly stood and trudged toward the staircase, not bothering to turn off the lights.
Dropping her clothes in a heap on the bedroom floor, she crawled under the covers on Eric’s side of the bed and pulled the blankets up tight against her chin. The baby began its nightly ritual of kicking and Abby rubbed her belly to comfort herself as much as to comfort her baby.
During the night Abby woke up several times from nightmares she couldn’t recall, each time reaching over to receive reassurance from Eric and jolting awake when she remembered he wasn’t there.
Suspicions: a novel of suspense Page 25