by Anastasia,P.
The light of his eyes dimmed. “I know,” he replied solemnly, averting his gaze.
“You’re afraid. Aren’t you, Matthaya?”
He rested his cheek against my palm and pressed his fingers over my hand.
YES. I WAS AFRAID.
The horrible taste of Aldréa’s blood still lingered in my mouth, even though I hadn’t been the one to draw it. It was everywhere—inside me and all around me. I couldn’t escape its bitterness.
My awareness of our growing bond was stronger than ever, and I was dizzied by the rush of Kathera’s thoughts. It was even greater than it had been earlier in the night, and my connection with Kathera was becoming supernatural and binding.
But, I hadn’t thought it was possible.
It is said that the Taken cannot sire and that the sterilization allows only the oldest to choose the best and most appropriate bloodlines for the species. I have grown and changed in many more ways than are common for my kind. My mutations granted me wings and with them greater strength and advantage. That power was what had made Ve’tani such a difficult comrade through the years. The genes in my body formed a more than suitable host for the disease and it has changed me to its will. Perhaps, even beyond that.
The Sire and Taken can sense each other and are unconsciously and inherently drawn to the same locations by a bond much stronger than blood. The feelings I was getting from Kathera echoed the psychic flashes of thought often exchanged between Ve’tani and me. Those feelings proved true what I had thought was impossible—that I, too, had the ability to sire.
I had been certain it could only spread through venom, but perhaps I had been mistaken. Though never bitten, she had somehow been infected and the virus had begun a slow and deadly path through her system. Healing her wounds with my blood must have sparked a catalyst of change and a process with no sure end without thorough infection. The vampire blood could not function properly in a living host, and in order to bind myself to her, I would have to take her blood into my body, as well.
I would have to kill her.
No matter how it started, I would have to finish it. I would have to take her blood in order to change her completely. Else she would die a slow and violent death as an infected mortal with the urges of a vampire. She would not be able to resist the bloodlust and her body would not be able to endure it.
Still, there was the harsh reality of eternity upon us, for once I chose her, she would be unable to break our bond until I took another. Given the opportunity, I was prepared to share immortality with her, but was she prepared to accept it?
Could Kathera truly fathom the depth and darkness of forever?
But it was only I who had the power to save her—to shape her fate. With Derek lost forever—in a more blissful sleep than I—there were few choices left.
I recalled my own experience and the trauma of it all. Being taken was a vicious process and it wouldn’t be as easy as she probably thought. Certainly I would do it with more grace and consideration than Ve’tani had given me, but regardless, it wouldn’t be easy or pleasant.
She would be the first I had ever taken and it would be a serious risk to her life if I did it incorrectly. There was no way of knowing exactly what the consequences would be or—if she survived—whether or not I would even be able to control her afterward.
Or, if she would even be able to control herself.
“I want to be with you,” she whispered. Her warm fingers on my cheek were so tender and her blue eyes looked upon me with such longing.
My heart had grown so numb and desiccated by the years of guilt that it was difficult to reciprocate those feelings. With her blood still warm with the delicate aesthetics of affection and passion, she wanted something I couldn’t give her.
I could almost recall what it had felt like—that desire—that lust I had once had for Kathryn. Now, those feelings were cloudy and blurred by distractions beyond mortality.
How badly I had once longed to hold her in my arms—to feel her naked body pressed against mine and the warmth of her sweat in the night. It was easy to envision but impossible to reenact. Now, I had a new sensation of lust within me and the thought of her warm blood against my lips taunted the animal inside.
It would be so easy to take what I wanted from her—to kill her and drink the innocent blood I could already imagine tasting so eagerly. Just the sweet smell of her body made me quake with anticipation. It was, in a sense, the very same feeling I had felt for her before. Only now, it was twisted and mangled into something so sick, so violent, that I hated myself for every moment that I spent feeling this way. I still wanted her. Now, more than ever.
“Matthaya?” Kathera stared thoughtfully at me. “You can tell me if you’re scared.”
It wasn’t fear; it was apprehension. I knew she didn’t have many choices—or any choices for that matter—but I still needed to hear her say that she wanted this from me.
“I only want you to understand what it is I must do,” I said. “In order for me to bring you into my world… you will have to die and I must be the one to take your life. Although I will try to make it brief, it will be painful beyond your imagination and the process cannot be stopped or reversed once it takes you. Are you certain you want this?”
“Yes,” she replied quickly. “And I am willing to give up everything for that. Even if it means giving up what’s left of my life now.” She shook her head and shrugged. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but I’m frightened, too. I murdered my stepmother.” She swallowed hard at the thought and her eyes began to redden around the edges. “Aldréa was a very evil woman, but what I did to her was unforgivable. My hands are stained with blood and I will never forget the taste of it.” Her fingers wrapped tightly around the blanket’s edge and she trembled. “Oh, I don’t feel so well, Matthaya.”
Color was draining from her face and I could hear her heartbeat softening. Time was running out. I knew what had to be done but couldn’t bring myself to do it until I was sure I had complete control over the primal hunger. I wouldn’t risk letting Kathryn die a second time.
I got up to put several logs onto the fire and then sat back down next to Kathera again. I moved down the couch and motioned for her to lay her head in my lap.
“Get some rest, Kathera. You’ll feel better when you wake up.” I smiled earnestly and caressed her forearm with my fingertips.
She made herself a little more comfortable and pulled the blanket up as she rested her head against my leg. Her narrowed eyes indicated she was thinking quite intently.
“Matthaya?” She lifted her face and looked up at me; I couldn’t see them beneath the blanket, but I heard her fingers rubbing the cross pendant between them.
“Yes?”
“You once told me that you would never love me,” she whispered. “Did you mean it?”
I hadn’t. But, at the time, I had had no other choice but to lie to her.
“I once thought I would never stop loving you,” I replied, remembering my vows to Kathryn. “And that is still the truth.”
Without further response, she lowered her head and closed her eyes again.
I brushed my fingers through her soft, flowing hair and listened closely to her every breath. I marveled at the fairness of her skin—the beauty of her resting eyes.
The two girls clearly had their differences, but Kathera was beginning to look more and more like Kathryn to me now.
Minutes passed and her breathing became shallow and slow as she fell deeper into sleep. The fire was beginning to dim, but I couldn’t wake her just yet. I slipped the sleeves of my jacket off and pulled my coat from my back.
I bunched it up into a ball, carefully lifted Kathera’s head from my lap, and then laid her back down onto the makeshift pillow. She quickly accustomed herself to it and curled her fingers around the edges of it. I put more firewood into the fireplace and went off into one of the rooms to make preparations.
It was an old hous
e and there was another fireplace in the master bedroom that would serve well for the occasion. I made haste to set another fire ablaze while she slept peacefully on the couch.
The scenario I had planned would not be perfect and my heart still ached at the thought of harming her, though it had to be done. She was dying, and I wasn’t going to let her go this time.
All I could do was hope I had enough power to satisfy her mortal heart.
I could trick her mind… if she let me.
We were already bound by blood and fate to do it, but it could only take place if she gave in completely to my will. Kathera and Kathryn had to give in to make it work the way I had planned.
Hypnosis was one thing, but to truly bring to life her deepest imaginings would take much more than the power of suggestion—and seduction. She had to see exactly what I wanted her to see and feel exactly what she wanted to feel. For the short time I would be in control of her mind, Kathera would believe she was Kathryn, and Kathryn would believe I was human.
It was going to trigger an unpredictable outcome, but it was the least I could do to dampen the true horror of what was about to happen.
I began by visualizing all the wonderful things the world had graced me with as a human—the things I had taken for granted. My body would feel warm to her touch as she sank closer into me. My heart would beat as though it longed to leap from my chest and consume her with its hunger and passion. And my skin… my skin would glisten with a youthful glow and vigor as if kissed by the sun’s golden rays. It would not be cold or gray, and in the end, she would get what she wanted.
Surely the pain would take her out of the trance regardless, but until that point, I had to keep her in my mind; I had to retain control over her thoughts.
“Kathryn.” I knelt down on the floor beside where Kathera slept on the couch and caressed her cheek. She twitched slightly.
Holding my face next to hers, I whispered into her ear.
“Close your mind to all that you know. Forget this place. Forget this time. Remember only me… and give in.”
As I spoke softly, I felt her letting go. Her breathing deepened and she was releasing herself to my will.
“Kathryn, wake up.” I gently nudged her shoulder with my fingertips.
She opened her eyes and looked around. The room was not as she had left it. It was no longer dark and gray with undecorated walls and dusty floors. It had become warm and accented with elegant reds and golds, satin draperies softening the window frames and an elegant tapestry hanging where Kathryn’s painting once had been.
An illusion that trumped all illusions.
She sat up on the couch and remained silent and awestruck. At her ankles rested the edge of a long white dress, which she kicked at with her bare feet, ruffling the hem with her toes.
There was confusion crinkling her brow.
“Come with me.” I offered her my hands.
Her fingers slid instinctively into mine and I pulled her up and into my embrace.
She would not see my fangs or the folded wings that lay dormant within my back, and my flesh was as warm and real to her as it had once been. Kathera—sincerely wanting the past to live again—drifted deeper and deeper into the trance.
The room began to glow with the light of the distant illusory sunset as I led her to an open balcony, much like the one we had stood upon years ago. I wrapped my arms around her and embraced her just as I had done then.
“How can this be?” she asked, breaking away and turning to face me.
She slipped naturally back into her Irish accent—a surprise to even me. Centuries had passed, but I had to quickly try to remember my own.
“Father will come after us!” The undying fear overwhelmed her and her eyes widened. She took hold of my hand in desperation. “We cannot be seen like this.”
The fantasy was under my control.
“Yes, we can.” I brought her left hand up to eye level and grasped her palm firmly. There on her finger was a fine golden band gleaming in the sun’s fading rays.
Kathera gasped in disbelief and pulled back from me.
“I feel so ignorant.” She cupped her hands around her face and sighed heavily. “I do not remember any of it,” she muttered, rubbing her eyes. “How can I not remember such a thing as our wedding?”
Her doubts had a devastating impact on our surroundings. The images around us began to flicker in and out of shadow and light; red became gray and the sun became pale and white. The colors faded back into reality as she slipped from my control.
“Do not think about the past right now, Kathryn,” I said. Quickly, I took her arm and pulled her back to me, putting a hand softly on her face, locking eyes with her and keeping her focused on me. “The day has been long. You will remember it. Give yourself time.”
She trusted me with her life and it showed in her expression as the fear in her eyes dissipated with my words. The illusion took shape again and the disturbance in her vision had gone unnoticed.
“I will protect you with my life, Kathryn,” I promised. “I will protect you forever.”
The sunset faded into the horizon and the house became dim as the reddish glow of the fireplace beckoned to us.
The tips of my fingers playfully coiled around the blue lace that graced the short sleeves of her gown. She grinned coyly and fiddled with a flower that was nestled in a ribbon that had been braided into her hair.
I rested my weight against the nearby wall.
“Now that the sun has set and the darkness implores us to spend the night together, tell me, Kathryn, what is it you want?”
Kathryn’s eyes met mine for a split second and then darted away in a pointless attempt to shield her thoughts. A brief and vivid image escaped her mind and penetrated mine—her body pressed helplessly up against the wall—me holding her there and kissing her breathless as our naked skin met and our fingers entwined.
She spun the wedding band around the base of her finger and shrugged.
“I already have exactly what I want, Matthaya,” she said. “Don’t you?”
“You and I both know that is a lie.” The vision I had just had and the wild flutter of her heartbeat spoke the truth even when she refused to share it. She was stubborn but powerful, and for once in her life, she was at a loss for words. I knew what she wanted. Kathryn knew what she wanted.
In our past lives, we had tried to be together. The complications of our situation and the impossibility of marriage at the time had clouded our young minds and sent us spiraling into catastrophe.
Given the chance, I would have never let her go, but the last night we had spent together had left us broken—devastated. Now, the physical distance induced by the hormonal dampening effect of vampirism made me uninterested in sexual needs. It was difficult to express how very desperately my body had once longed for hers—and how often I had dreamt of making love to her and knowing she was completely mine.
Kathera coughed hard and a strained wheeze resonated within her lungs.
The clock was ticking.
She came closer to the wall I was leaning on and backed up against it, obviously allowing ample opportunity for me to take advantage of her. I moved, cornering her against the wall as she had fantasized. Her breath trembled as I took her hands into my own, tightening my grasp and pressing my weight into her. My lips lowered to the side of her neck and she tilted her face to the other side, welcoming the gentle kiss against her throat. It was enough to provoke a quiet, breathy groan from her mouth and a smile from mine.
My mind had indeed witnessed what she had thought she wanted.
But I could do better.
THE SENSUALLY DARKENED bedchamber enchanted the breath right out of me. Flushed with red velvet, romantic shadows, and dancing candlelight upon the walls, the room called to us.
Matthaya brought his hands up to cup my face and I again noticed the gleam of the ring on his finger. He brushed his thumbs across my cheeks and smiled
.
It was a lovely smile—honest and pure. His face looked so young and beautiful as his eyes sparkled with amber light from the fireplace. He drew closer and I tilted my head and lowered my lashes as our lips met in a long-awaited kiss. It was soft and sweet and I melted into his grasp as his hands slipped down to my waist, where they held me tightly, pulling me gently nearer.
I wanted to taste him—only him—forever. And in that moment, he couldn’t kiss me long enough—or deeply enough—to satisfy the overwhelming hunger I had for him. I wanted the world to disappear.
His fingers loosened; he cupped one of my wrists within his hand and raised it up to my eye level, caressing the sensitive flesh with his thumb. His face tipped and he pressed into my palm a slow and deliberate kiss. The heat spread and his eyes closed with a second kiss sliding down to the delicate inside of my wrist. I choked on my breath as the sensation made my chest tremble. Hot breaths teased my skin.
His lashes came up with his face, our eyes met, and he rested my hand on his shoulder.
The rapid beating of my heart made my breaths fluttery and anxious as he bent down and swept me into his arms. He carried me toward the bed and I was hesitant to take my hands off his neck as he laid me down onto the soft linens. In a moment, he was there beside me again, leaning over my body with an intense, hungry gaze fixated on me.
I reached for the buttons of his shirt and undid them one by one. When the last button came free, he sat back on his ankles, slipped the shirt down off both arms, and set it aside. The fair, golden color of his skin was exquisite and my fingers gravitated toward him again.
Then I felt them.
The scars…
They had long since healed, but the marks of my father’s rage would forever adorn Matthaya’s back and the ridge of both shoulders. I couldn’t help but trace them with sympathy. They weren’t ugly to me. They were beautiful. But tragic.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized again for what had happened. They would never fade.
“They are part of me now,” he replied calmly. “They have made us who we are.”