by Meg Maxwell
He wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t watching the little guys. He was staring out the window at...nothing, as far as Marissa could see.
Huh. Maybe he truly wasn’t interested in babies. Marissa took Katie out of her seat and couldn’t resist holding her close and giving her silky blond hair a little caress.
“You’re so precious,” she cooed to the little girl. “You and your brothers. What a gift.”
Autry looked at her then turned away completely, his hands jammed in his pockets.
She frowned, surprised that the triplets hadn’t worked their magic on him. No spiked punch was necessary for a baby to have even the most reserved grown-up fawning and fussing and cooing; that was a baby’s superpower. They were simply irresistible.
But Autry Jones did seem oddly immune.
She’d figured this would be a great opportunity for him to see how special babies and toddlers were, that they had a way of getting inside your heart and making you remember, making you dream, making you think about the future and possibilities. Babies were the future and they were the now.
The triplets crawled around in the toddler zone, kicking brightly colored plastic balls and crawling through little tunnels.
“I can’t do this,” Autry whispered. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” He turned away and headed across the shop, away from the tables.
Can’t do what? Marissa wondered. What was going on?
Hudson came back and thanked her for watching the triplets, then told her to take a break and get herself a drink and a treat on him.
She headed over to where Autry stood. He stared down at the floor, not acknowledging her.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered.
He turned to face her, then took her hand and led her over to the window. “The reason I’m no strings... The reason I don’t date single mothers... The reason I’m never going to be a family man—” He stopped talking and ran a hand through his hair. “Last year I met a woman in New York City while on business. Karinna had a three-month-old baby. I fell for both of them pretty hard. I loved Lulu like she was my own child. She felt like mine.”
Marissa’s heart clenched, sensing from his tone that his story did not a have a happy ending.
“I went to a baby store and had a room in my condo decorated as a nursery,” he continued. “Crib, mobile, swing, rocking chair. I had a stroller, a bookcase full of board books with edges Lulu could chew. A changing table stocked with diapers and baby ointment. And I, Autry Jones, changed more than a few diapers on that table.”
Marissa smiled. She could imagine it, actually. From the way he was with her kids, from the way he was with her.
“That baby girl, everything I felt, made me realize how wrong my parents had it. I was going to propose to Karinna, settle down and put family above business. I’d still do my job and do it well, but family would come first. But the night before I planned to ask Karinna to marry me, she told me she’d met someone else, a CEO of a famous corporation in New York and, sorry, but it was over.”
“Oh, Autry, I’m so sorry.”
“You want to know something? I realized pretty quickly that I was more upset about losing Lulu than I was about losing her mother. I tried to arrange some kind of visitation with Lulu, but Karinna reminded me that I wasn’t Lulu’s father and hung up. I never saw Lulu again. And it hurt like hell, Marissa.”
She reached out a hand to him, and he looked so...conflicted that she wanted to wrap him in her arms and never let go.
“I’ve dated only single women since. No single mothers allowed within five feet.”
“I’m closer than that right now,” she said, offering a bit of a smile.
“I know. And sometimes, it’s like all the blood in my veins has just stopped flowing.”
“You feel this way and yet...you still accepted Kaylee’s offer to come on that picnic the day after we met. You offered to be Abby’s partner in The Great Roundup Kids Competition. There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to let go of what you once felt, Autry.”
“Maybe. I tried to stay away from you, Marissa. I can’t. And your kids have made it even harder because they’re so great.”
She smiled. “Well, I think I understand you a little bit better now, Autry Jones.”
“Let’s go help my brother out,” Autry said. “Now that I actually said all that out loud, those babies don’t look so intimidating at the moment.”
“You can always talk to me, Autry.”
“I’m beginning to realize that. And that goes for you, too.”
She squeezed his hand and held his gaze, and again she wanted to fling herself into his arms. But they were in the middle of Daisy’s Donuts.
They walked over to the toddler zone and watched the triplets play. Marissa stepped over the railing and sat down to play catch—or almost catch—with little Jared, while Henry toddled around the busy wheel and Hudson played peekaboo with Katie. Autry stayed just outside the play zone, but facing it and watching them. A good sign. She noticed his expression was less tight. Not that it was relaxed—not by a long shot.
“Where’s Uncle Hudson?” Hudson cooed at Katie, covering his face with his hands. “Here he is!” he said, opening his hands to show his face.
Katie giggled and threw a little plastic ball at him. Hudson erupted in laughter.
“You’ve really changed, bro,” Autry said, a wistful look on his handsome face. “Rust Creek Falls agrees with you.”
Hudson smiled and scooped up a runaway nephew, blowing a raspberry on his chest and then setting him back down to chase his brother. “I’m not sure I changed so much as this town brought out parts of me I didn’t know existed.”
“I know what you mean,” Autry said and glanced at Marissa.
“Ooh, it’s that way, is it?” Hudson said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Two spots of red appeared on Autry’s cheeks and Marissa tried her best not to burst into laughter. “I’m going to get myself a latte. Autry, what can I get you?”
“Aren’t I supposed to be taking you out on the town?”
She smiled. “I think I can handle one three-dollar beverage.”
“I like the real thing, just coffee, black—a dark roast. And thank you.”
When Marissa headed over to the counter, she heard Hudson say to Autry, “Told you this place would get to you.”
She wanted to let them know she could hear them loud and clear, just in case they thought she couldn’t. But then again, she was standing only ten feet away.
“It hasn’t got me,” Autry said. “I’m leaving in two weeks. I’m still glad I met the very beautiful Marissa, though. But Paris awaits. I’ll be there at least a year. And then another destination, then another.”
Autry glanced at her then, as if he wanted to underscore that. As if she didn’t know. Really, it was as if he walked around with it in capital letters on his shirts: LEAVING AT THE END OF AUGUST.
Hudson eyed Marissa with a raised eyebrow. In his expression she read: Yeah, we’ll see, brother.
“Dad’s worried, though. He sent Alexandra from the Tulsa office to lure me home. In fact, the timing was so bad it almost ruined things between me and Marissa.”
“Or maybe the timing was good,” Marissa said as she walked over with their coffees. “Because I did see that little display, we ended up here. And you ended up opening up to me.”
“Well, that is definitely good,” Hudson said. “But dear old Dad needs to mind his own business. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what he thinks he’s doing.”
“Part of the reason I came to Rust Creek Falls was to try to smooth things over between Dad and you two. Not only haven’t I achieved that, but now I’ve made things worse between Dad and me.”
“You mean Dad’s made things worse,” Hudson said.
Autry gla
nced at his brother and seemed to consider that. He nodded.
“We all have to live our own lives,” Hudson added. “What feels right to us. We can’t live the life someone else maps out for us. Even when it’s our own stubbornness that maps it out.”
“Meaning?” Autry said.
Hudson scooped up two of the triplets and set them in the stroller, then went back for the third. “The meaning is different for everyone. Just think about it.”
From Autry’s expression, Marissa wasn’t sure Autry wanted to think about that one.
“Well, time to get these tykes home for dinner. Thanks for lending a hand.”
“Anytime,” Marissa said. “I’ve become a master at keeping an eye on three kids.”
Hudson grinned. “See you. Oh—and Bella and I would love to have you both over for dinner at the Lazy B sometime soon.”
As though they were a couple, Marissa thought, her heart squeezing.
Autry clapped his brother on the back and held the door open for the enormous stroller, and they both watched Hudson navigate the stroller up the sidewalk. The guy could barely get two inches before he was descended on by a passerby stopping to peer in at the triplets.
“Uncle of the year,” Autry said, shaking his head with a smile. “The guy who’d been the lonest of the lone wolves.”
“So maybe change is possible,” Marissa said, before she could stop herself. “Or like Hudson said, people and places bring out sides of you that you just never knew existed.”
“Or you know they exist and you try to forget,” Autry said.
She glanced at him, and his expression was a bit too neutral. Trying to forget hadn’t worked with Autry; that was clear. But what was that Hudson had said about stubbornness? Autry’s battle was with himself. Not babies. Not love. Not her.
They finished their coffees, and then she wrapped her arm around Autry’s. “Let’s go have that date,” Marissa said. “It might be the only one. Who knows. But you agreed to take me out on the town tonight and I want it.”
He took her hand, and this time his expression told her he was glad for the change in subject. “At your service.”
* * *
As she and her gorgeous date walked up North Broomtail Road, Marissa imagined herself sitting in any number of restaurants, whether here in Rust Creek Falls or over in Kalispell, and she suddenly just wanted Autry Jones all to herself. She wanted to be alone with him. To talk to him about anything that might come up, and if they were having dinner somewhere in town, who knew who might be inadvertently eavesdropping?
Yes, Marissa was going to say it. Do it now before you lose your nerve, she told herself.
“Autry, I just remembered that Maverick Manor has room service.”
He glanced at her, waiting.
“I’d like to have dinner there. On the balcony facing the wilderness.”
He grinned, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling. “A private dinner for two. Nothing I’d like more.”
“Unless that woman is still there, waiting for you,” Marissa said. She really hoped not. A flash of Autry’s coworker came to mind. All sleek and sophisticated in her four-inch heels. She wondered if that was Autry’s type. Probably. But then again, when they’d met, Marissa was in a T-shirt and shorts and flip-flops, so maybe she was his type, too.
“I instructed the manager to escort her out and lock up behind her. If there was any issue, Nate Crawford himself would have called me. No worries.”
“Your father won’t be happy,” she said.
“My father is never happy. Unless he’s making money.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to smooth things over between him and your brothers?”
“I’d hoped so, but now I’m not so sure. My father doesn’t seem to care about their happiness or what they want. Only what he wants for them and for himself. I can’t imagine being a parent and feeling that way.”
“Me, either. All I want is for my daughters to be happy. It’s my job to raise them to be good, responsible adults—not to dictate their paths or futures.”
He squeezed her hand. “Those three girls are very lucky to have you for a mother, Marissa.”
She smiled and squeezed back, and then there it was—Maverick Manor, the luxurious log-cabin-style hotel looked so welcoming. She’d never had cause to be in here before today.
“Hope tongues don’t wag,” she said as they passed the reception desk. “Marisa Fuller seen entering Autry Jones’s hotel room will spread like wildfire in this small town.”
“I’ll make it clear to the right big mouths that we’re discussing business.”
She laughed. “You know three people in this town. Your brothers and me.”
“Au contraire. I’ve been here a week and have met a lot of folks. I spent an hour at the Ace in the Hole watching a reality TV show. I met the entire town.”
“Oh yeah,” she said. “I guess you did.” Plus he was warm and friendly and talked to people everywhere he went.
He slid his key card into the lock on his door. Earlier, when she’d arrived to find that very sexy, well-dressed woman with her arms snaked around Autry’s neck, her lips puckered for a kiss that, thankfully, Marissa had interrupted, she hadn’t gotten a chance to look around. The room was masculine, clearly meant for a man on his own. Leather and wood and marble. The windows were huge and faced the gorgeous Montana wilderness in the distance.
“The room service menu is on the desk. Take a look. Anything you want will be yours tonight, Marissa.”
“Filet mignon,” she said, perusing the menu, grateful there were no prices. Everything was a fortune, no doubt. “I had that once at a wedding. Melted in my mouth.”
He smiled. “Filet mignon for two and a bottle of red wine sounds good to me.”
“Me, too.”
He picked up the phone, made friendly small talk with Mariel, the front desk clerk, and then ordered, adding, “Mariel, Ms. Fuller and I are having a business meeting and shouldn’t be disturbed beyond room service. Thanks.” He hung up and smiled. “Done. Mariel is a bit of a chatterbox. The staff is instructed in discretion, but if she hears anyone gossiping about seeing you come in with me, she won’t be able to resist telling them what she knows. ‘Oh, it’s nothing—they were just having a business meeting.’”
She grinned. “What business are we discussing?”
“Us,” he said. “Our business.” He stood very close to her and tilted up her chin. And then he kissed her.
“No discussion there,” she said with a smile.
“Sometimes, Marissa, I operate best by not talking too much.”
She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. And then he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. In the dimmest recesses of her mind, she knew that room service would knock soon and that they could go only so far here. Safety net in place, she let him lay her down on his bed, let him cover her with his body, his hands in her hair, his mouth fused with hers. He pulled up a bit and slid his hands under the straps of her sundress, then lower to her lacy bra and the flesh underneath, which elicited a groan from him.
She felt the hard planes of his chest, the muscles of his arms, of his neck. She put her hands on either side of his face and looked into his eyes, his gorgeous, intelligent blue eyes. And she saw everything there she needed to know. That he didn’t want to hurt her, but he would.
Marissa had been through loss that had knocked her to her knees, thrown her world into a tailspin. Sent her girls howling in grief.
Granted, Autry Jones would just be leaving town. Not dying. A little perspective, Marissa. But he’d break her heart nonetheless.
The question was would it be worth it? To experience him for these weeks. To make love. To feel love. Would it be worth it even though losing him would hurt like hell?
/>
“Autry, do you agree with that old saying that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”
He leaned back a bit and trailed a finger along her neck. “I might have thought so. Before.”
“Well, I think the answer has to be yes. That it’s better. If I hadn’t loved Mike, I wouldn’t have those three precious girls. We lost him. But we had him. And we have some wonderful memories.”
He nodded and sat up. Guess she’d killed the mood. But it was for the best. And she knew he knew it.
“I would rather not have known Karinna or Lulu,” he said. “But I’m the only one who got hurt. And the memories I have twist my stomach in knots. Not so much anymore. Now there’s just a void, but if I think about it, I feel bitter. And sometimes an old ache.”
She turned all that over in her mind. His situation was very different from hers. But his experience with loving that little baby had taught him that he could love, that he could be a father figure, that he did believe that family should come first.
She started to tell him that, but a knock at the door let them know it was dinnertime.
A waiter wheeled in the cart and set everything up on the table on the balcony. Then they were alone again.
He gestured to the balcony. “So maybe we should discuss the business of us. How this is going to work so we do the least harm.”
“I think we should go back to friendship, Autry. No kissing. No carrying anyone to a bed.”
“I’ll miss that,” he said. “Especially that.”
She smiled. “Are you okay with being Abby’s partner in the competition?”
He nodded. “I won’t break a promise, especially not to a kid. I told her I’d be her partner and I will be. I think tomorrow night we should all watch the second episode together, and then Abby and I can make a practice schedule. Sound good?”