by Meg Maxwell
Was she rationalizing? Maybe. But so be it. She was a grown woman.
“What would make me happy?” She paused and looked at him, and she was pretty sure her answer was written all over her face.
He sucked in a breath and leaned close and kissed her. She kissed him back, grateful for their secluded corner.
“Just for tonight,” she said.
“Just for tonight.”
She kissed him again, her hands on his face, everything she felt going into the fierce kiss. “No strings attached,” she whispered.
“That’s always been the case,” he said.
No strings. She’d shake on that again, but not on being friends. She couldn’t be casual friends with Autry, not after this and certainly not after they made love.
“Maybe we should take this conversation upstairs,” he said.
“I think we’re done talking,” she whispered and kissed him again.
* * *
They kissed all the way upstairs, prompting one giggled “get a room” from a couple entering the elevator as they exited.
Please let this night happen, he prayed to the universe. They’d been interrupted once before, in his room at Maverick Manor, and he figured he’d never have the chance again to have Marissa Fuller to himself, to explore every morsel of her amazing body, to show her just how much he wanted her.
“Shhh,” Marissa whispered, her finger against her lips as they headed to Autry’s room, which was thankfully several doors down from the Fuller-Rafferty clan’s.
He smiled and unlocked the door, then kissed her inside, shutting the door behind them with his back. She unbuttoned his shirt and he let it fall to the floor. As she undid his belt buckle, he sucked in a breath, barely able to stop himself from taking her right there on the probably-not-that-soft-on-the-back carpet.
The belt joined the shirt. All she’d taken off were her shoes.
They stood in front of the wall of windows, the Seattle city view barely visible through the filmy curtain. He liked that the lighting was dim in the room, romantic, but that he was able to see her. He wanted to see everything.
He slid off her silky tank top, his gaze rooted to the lacy white bra she wore. He let his hands explore her bare skin, her smooth stomach and sexy waist, and then he slid a finger underneath the straps of her bra and slid it down so he could savor every bit of skin as her beautiful breasts were revealed to him. His legs slightly buckled and he focused on unclasping the bra to keep himself from exploding—literally and figuratively.
He knelt in front of her and pulled down the zipper of her jeans, wriggling them off her sexy hips. Mmm, he thought, at the sight of the white cotton underwear. So damned sexy he again had to fight for control, counting to five in his head.
He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed, getting rid of his own jeans right afterward. He covered her body with his, tiny scraps of cotton and lace separating them. She kissed him passionately, her hands in his hair, and he couldn’t wait another moment. He wriggled down her panties with a finger on each hip, his mouth exploring hers, then her neck, then her breasts, then her stomach and lower until she gasped and gripped the sides of the comforter. She let out a moan and he smiled.
When he felt her own hands on his hips, the boxer briefs sliding down, her cool, soft fingers touching him, he again had to count to five, then ten, to keep control.
Finally he ran out of numbers. He quickly put on a condom and then in moments was making love to Marissa, each thrust underscoring how much he wanted her, how badly he needed her, how deeply he loved her.
Oh hell.
There it was. He loved Marissa Fuller.
Shut up, Jones, he told himself. Just lose yourself in this night.
He took his own advice and pulled Marissa on top of him, reveling in the gorgeous sight of her naked, an expression of pleasure rippling across her face.
Finally, there was an explosion of sensation and Autry was gone, gone, gone into it, unable to think of anything but release and Marissa.
He pulled her close against him and trailed a finger down her cheek. “That was amazing. You are amazing.”
“That was pretty damned amazing,” she agreed, laughing between breaths, her hand entwined with his.
“Stay the night,” he whispered.
“I wish I could. But I can’t. You know I can’t.” She turned on her side to face him. “Thank you for this magical night, Autry Jones. Every last moment of it.”
That sounded like goodbye. A final goodbye.
But they had a few more days. He couldn’t bear to be in Rust Creek Falls and not see Marissa. But he was leaving. Love or not, he was getting on that plane to Paris.
You had no business getting involved with a single mother. With three kids.
But he had. And he didn’t know which was scarier. That he loved her and the girls...or the idea of letting Marissa go.
Chapter Thirteen
In Autry style, he treated the group to breakfast in the hotel restaurant. Ralph was so surprised to see the size of his bacon, Swiss and tomato omelet that he took a photo of it, and Abby and Janie tried to teach him to how to upload it on social media. But of course, Ralph didn’t have any social media accounts.
They ate, they drank their six-dollar glasses of orange juice and four-dollar cups of coffee, and then they were on the corporate jet again, flying back to real life.
This time, Marissa sat next to her mom, the two little Fuller girls across the aisle like “big girls” with their headphones on as they watched Frozen for the hundredth time. Abby and Janie also had their headphones on, but they were listening to 2LOVEU on their tiny iPod shuffles, Christmas gifts from Marissa and Anne last year.
Autry was a few rows up, next to her father, chatting about the stock market. Every now and then, Autry would turn and Marissa would get a glimpse of his beautiful profile, his strong, straight nose, that sculpted jawline and the sexy sweep of dark blond hair.
She sighed before she could catch herself.
“What was that for?” her mother whispered.
“What? Nothing. Just...a little tired.”
“Uh-huh,” Roberta said, eyebrow raised. “Maybe I was wrong, honey,” she added. “Maybe playing it safe isn’t the way to go.”
“Of course it is,” Marissa whispered. “That’s the only way to go.”
“But you’re not escaping without a bruised heart.”
“I also need to be realistic. He’s who he is. I’m who I am. Our lives can’t meet, Mom. How could they?”
Even that one had Roberta stumped.
“Autry loves what he does. He loves traveling for his family business. He might have very strong feelings for me, for all of us, but let’s say he mysteriously and magically said he’s going to stay in Rust Creek Falls for me. He’d be miserable. I know that and so does he.”
Roberta covered Marissa’s hand. “I guess so. Well, I have no doubt the two of you will figure it out.”
“Or not,” Marissa said, tears poking her eyes. “You know that annoying saying ‘it is what it is’? Well, it is what it is.”
“It’s okay to admit that you’re going to miss him,” Roberta said. “And it’s okay to be sad.”
Marissa felt tears stir again. “It’s not, though. I have the girls to think about. I have to be strong for them. Present for them. One of the reasons I don’t date is so that I won’t bring my crazy emotions into their lives. They lost so much. I just want to focus on raising them well and making sure they’re happy.”
“You’re a good mother, Marissa.”
“You taught me well.”
Her mother pulled Marissa into a hug, as much as she could, given that they were buckled in.
“But you deserve happiness, too, sweet
heart. Just don’t forget that.”
Marissa nodded and closed her eyes, but there was no way she’d sleep. She’d taken her ounce of happiness last night and it would keep her going through the lonely times, through the times she’d miss Autry. She had her girls. She had her parents. She had friends and a good job. She had a life in Rust Creek Falls and it was a good one.
She’d let Autry go because she had to.
* * *
Autry dropped off Janie first, Anne Lattimore ran to hug her daughter and thank everyone for taking her on the amazing adventure. Then the car headed to the Fuller-Raffertys’, and Marissa wondered if this was the last time she’d see Autry, if this would be their final goodbye. She knew he’d never leave town without saying goodbye to the girls, but this was likely Marissa’s last time alone with Autry.
Her parents ushered the kids inside, Roberta ensuring that Marissa had some time alone with Autry to say that goodbye, if that was what she wanted. It wasn’t, but why prolong this for three more days?
“I can’t be here in this town and stay away,” Autry said as soon as they were alone, his hands gripping the leather steering wheel of his rented Porsche.
“There’s no future for us,” she said.
“I could fly in every few months and...” He sighed. “This was supposed to be no strings attached, but we forgot that feelings are strings,” he added.
She smiled and reached for his hand. “I know. So let’s just cut them now. I need to take care of my family, Autry. I can’t be lying in my bed, nursing a broken heart. I don’t have that luxury.”
“I know. Well, we have three more days. What’s three more days of exquisite torture? It would be worse not seeing each other when I’m still here, Marissa.”
Now it was her turn to sigh as her resolve went out the window. “Agreed.”
“Your parents were champs during this trip. Let’s give them a night out tonight. Send them to dinner and a movie. I’ll cook for you and the girls and we’ll play board games and charades.”
“Now, that sounds like my life,” she said.
“A life I want to be part of while I’m here.”
“See you later, then, Autry Jones.”
She could see the relief on his face that she hadn’t said goodbye. But she had no idea if she was doing the right thing.
* * *
“Yay! Mr. Autry is here!” Kiera said when he arrived. She was standing in the doorway with her sisters.
He laughed. These girls had a way of making him feel like a rock star. “Yay! Kiera is here! And Kaylee! And Abby!” He growled like a bear and bent over, then charged in, scooping up each girl for a hug and kiss.
Good God, what was with him? One minute he was having arrows shot in his heart from the reminders of Lulu. The next minute, he had a three-year-old on his shoulders singing a song from Frozen.
Who was he turning into? What was he turning into?
It got me. And it’s gonna get you, too... He remembered his brother Hudson’s words. His brother Walker’s words.
And his father’s. I can’t lose you, too.
As he headed into the kitchen with his grocery bag, he thought about the fact that he didn’t want to lose himself, either. He knew who he was when he was doing things Autry Jones did. Bringing over gifts. Flying off to front-row seats to a sold-out concert. But this more homespun stuff, nice as it was, left him feeling just a bit...uncomfortable.
Maybe that was a sign. That he didn’t have to worry about leaving his heart in Rust Creek Falls. Tonight was definitely a good idea. He’d have another “family” night, and he’d be itching to get to Paris, to trade his cowboy boots for his five-hundred-dollar leather Prada shoes. Though he’d been here at the Fuller-Raffertys’, grilling, playing charades, practicing for The Great Roundup Kids Competition, and he’d had a great time.
Cripes.
“I thought I heard shrieks of happiness,” Marissa said, coming into the kitchen. “I knew a celeb had arrived.”
“They certainly make me feel that way,” he said, pulling out a package of thin-sliced chicken breasts and four sweet potatoes. “I’m making my world-famous chicken fingers with honey-mustard dipping sauce and sweet potato fries.”
“Yum. Sounds delicious. Need an assistant?”
“I’ve got this. Go relax.”
As Marissa left, her father came in. “I hear I owe you one. Dinner and a movie? I could get used to this. And luckily, the only good movie out right now is an action flick, so it’s my night.”
Autry laughed. “Have a great time.”
When Marissa’s father left, Autry got to work, grabbing what he needed from the cupboards. As he turned to the refrigerator, he was drawn to a photo of Marissa and a baby who had to be Abby. Marissa looked all of sixteen, but she must have been eighteen. Man, she was young. A mother since eighteen. Her entire adult life. And here he was, thirty-three and completely unencumbered, except for the way he felt.
There were family photos and colorful drawings all over the refrigerator and magnets holding reminder cards for dentist appointments and the water bill. This was home life. Family life.
The opposite of Autry’s life. On his refrigerator door at his Tulsa condo? Nothing. Not much in it, either, since he was rarely there.
“Autry!” Marissa came rushing into the kitchen, a worried look on her face. “My friend Suzanne’s fiancé just ended their engagement. She’s beside herself. I need to go over there. Can you watch the girls? Or I could call my parents and have them come back.”
He shook his head. “Don’t you dare. Just go. Take all the time she needs. I’ve got this.”
“You sure?”
“Completely. Go.”
She threw her arms around him and whispered “thank you” in his ear, sending his pulse racing at the reminder of what she’d whispered in his ear last night.
Last night now seemed a million nights ago.
He heard Marissa telling the girls that Mr. Autry was in charge and they were to listen to him, be polite and behave themselves. Then he heard the front door close.
Three heads poked in the kitchen door. “Can we help?” Abby asked.
“Well, I’m actually looking for three assistants,” Autry said. “Would any of you like the job?”
“Me!” three voices said, three hands shooting up and waving frantically.
“Perfect. You’re all hired,” he said.
Luckily, Abby reminded her sisters to wash their hands, because he wouldn’t have thought of it. The two little Fullers took turns on the step stool, and then looked to him for instructions. Ha. If only they knew that he’d been busy on his laptop before coming over, looking up recipes and watching two cooking videos.
He put Abby on egg-cracking duty. Kiera was in charge of shaking the seasoned bread crumbs on a plate. And Kaylee’s job was to put the chicken breasts in the egg wash.
Sixteen chicken fingers were created without a single one dropping on the floor or egg wash getting in anyone’s eyes or hair. Granted, Kiera had bread crumbs in her hair, but all in all, it was a perfect cooking experience. He had Abby rinse the sweet potatoes and then he sliced them, and had Kiera brush them with olive oil and Kaylee sprinkle them with salt. Then everything went into the oven, and Autry and the girls headed into the family room.
“Want me to teach you the lyrics to ‘Only You’?” Abby asked as Autry settled on the couch, the three girls on beanbags.
“What makes you think I don’t know them?” he asked with a grin. “Okay, fine, I know one line of the chorus. ‘I’d travel to the ends of the earth for you-oo-oo,’” he sang, and the girls clapped, then started singing the rest of the song.
If his brothers could see him now. If his father could see him now. Autry had tried to put his dad out of his mind since their phone conve
rsation the morning of The Great Roundup Kids Competition. Autry had promised nothing, but had made it clear he was staying in Rust Creek Falls until his flight left for Paris.
Just don’t get married. For the love of Pete.
Autry had laughed, which had made his father feel better. Autry. Married. Come on.
Except it wasn’t funny—that his father was pushing the single life, or at least the single life until Autry was back in his own territory. Walker Jones the Second really and truly didn’t care if his sons were happy. And that was damned sad.
After the singalong, Abby got out Chutes and Ladders and they played a round—Kiera won—and then they played charades. The Fuller girls acted out the band 2LOVEU, which Autry would never in a million years have guessed correctly before last night.
Then it was time for dinner, so the girls went into the dining room and Autry served his chicken fingers and fries, which were a hit, even if Kaylee didn’t like the honey-mustard sauce and Kiera didn’t like the sweet potato fries.
“So, let’s do our share,” Abby said. “You first, Kaylee.”
Kaylee put down her fork. “I’ll share that I got to go on a plane two times.”
“Me, too!” Kiera said. “That was my share. Oh, wait. I have another. I got to go to the 2LOVEU concert yesterday! It was awesome!”
“Hey, that was my share,” Abby said with a grin. “But I have another. I have a few big dreams. One can’t come true. Ever. I didn’t think the others would, either, because they just seemed impossible. But I got to meet Lyle from 2LOVEU. I got to shake his hand. He actually looked at me and told me it was nice to meet me.” She burst into tears. “That was the happiest moment of my entire life.”
Autry froze for a moment. “Are those happy tears?”
Abby laughed even though fresh tears were rolling down her cheeks. “Yes! First I got to be in The Great Roundup Kids Competition even though I don’t have a dad. And then I got to meet Lyle. How could two dreams come true in a week?”