by Meg Maxwell
“After everything you did for my family these past few weeks, oh yes, it is necessary. I won’t hear another word. We will see you at five thirty tomorrow. Don’t bring a thing but yourself.”
“Well, I can’t promise I won’t bring anything, but I’ll be there.”
“Good. See you then.”
That was interesting, Autry thought, as he pocketed his phone. He hadn’t thought Roberta was part of his fan club. Now she was throwing a party in his honor.
One thing was for sure when it came to the Fuller-Raffertys. He never knew what to expect.
* * *
As Marissa watched her daughters stack paper plates and plastic cups on the buffet table for Autry’s bon-voyage party, she could swear that Kaylee was taller by at least an inch and that Kiera’s hair had gotten very long over the summer and that Abby, who was teaching herself Spanish via a website so that she could learn 2LOVEU songs in two languages, was growing up way too fast. School was starting next week, and both Kaylee and Kiera were having firsts. Kaylee would start preschool and Kiera would start kindergarten.
And now that her younger girls would be in school a good chunk of the day, Marissa was going to talk to her boss about increasing her hours back to full-time. This way she could help her parents more financially and save up to send them on the Caribbean cruise they’d always wanted.
Maybe Marissa would even adopt one of Helen’s little pups when the three available were ready. Abby had always wanted a dog, but Marissa hadn’t been sure she could handle one more thing to take care of, and Roberta didn’t love pet hair on her clothes. Anyway, it was just something to think about for the future.
She was thinking about anything and everything to avoid what was constantly trying to push its way into the forefront of her mind: Autry. When her mother had told her that the Raffertys were throwing a goodbye party for him, Marissa had been shocked—then not so shocked. Her mother had fallen under Autry’s spell. It was hard not to. He was a great man. Kind, generous, warm.
And so damned sexy and great in bed that Marissa could still feel every imprint on her body where his hands and lips had been.
She was glad they’d had sex. It wasn’t a mistake and there were no regrets. She’d needed that night and she’d wanted him, and she’d taken what was being offered: one amazing night that she’d never forget and that would sustain her probably for years given just how earthmoving it had been. She smiled, but felt the smile fading. She would never feel his hands on her again after the perfunctory goodbye hug he’d give her after the party. She’d never feel his lips on hers. Maybe every couple years he’d come to town to visit his brothers and he’d stop by to say hello.
She wrapped her arms around her middle as a sadness crept inside her heart.
Then she lifted her chin and pasted a smile on her face. For the sake of her girls, especially for Abby, she’d act like everything was fine, that of course she’d miss Autry, but they always knew he was leaving, et cetera, et cetera. She’d put on a happy expression for the girls, then disappear into the bathroom or her room to cry if she felt tears coming. And she had no doubt they would.
At five thirty, her father had just put the burgers, marinated chicken and steaks on the grill with some veggie kebabs and corn on the cob in the husk, when Autry came around the yard, carrying two big shopping bags.
“I ordered that man not to bring anything,” Roberta whispered in Marissa’s ear.
Marissa smiled and felt the smile wobble, so she corrected it. Her girls were just a few feet away and watching her. How did Autry manage to look more handsome every time she saw him? He wore a dark blue Henley shirt and jeans and his AJ belt buckle.
“Mom! Mr. Autry is here!” Abby shrieked and raced over to him for a hug.
He bent over to wrap Abby in his arms, then scooped up the younger girls and swung them around. “Hey, Fuller girls,” he said.
“What’s in the bags?” Kaylee asked, peering in.
“Kaylee, that’s not polite!” Abby chastised, also trying to peer inside. Marissa always appreciated when Abby did her work for her.
“Well, I might have a going-away present for my favorite three kids,” Autry said with a grin.
Roberta leaned close to Marissa and whispered, “He’s generous to a fault!”
“He’s thoughtful,” Marissa whispered back.
Her mom nodded. “That, too.”
Kiera tilted her head, her long brown ponytail falling over one shoulder. “But you’re the one going away, not us.”
“Yeah. That’s why we made you going-away presents,” Abby said.
“What? Presents for me?” Autry touched his heart. “That’s real nice of you, girls.”
Kiera and Kaylee ran over to the table where they’d been working on the gifts and wrapping them this afternoon.
“Kaylee, you first,” Abby said, like a little mother. “Then Kiera, then me.”
Kaylee grinned and held out the gift she’d wrapped herself. The bright red sparkly paper didn’t quite reach the back. Marissa held in a smile. Autry sat on the grass and gently opened it on his lap.
Marissa watched Autry closely; the man was clearly touched by the paper plate that Kaylee had decorated with feathers and glitter and wrote inside a big heart: Mr. Autry Is Nice.
“I love this,” he said, giving her a big hug. “Thank you, Kaylee.”
Next up was Kiera. Autry opened her gift, and for a second, Marissa wondered if he didn’t like it. It was a photograph of him and the three Fuller girls that Ralph had taken during the last few weeks. They were in the backyard, under a tree, a soccer ball in Kiera’s arms. She’d made the frame herself at an arts-and-crafts camp this summer.
“I’ll treasure this,” he said. “Thank you, Kiera.”
Kiera beamed. “This way you won’t forget us. When you go away.”
He hugged her again. “I’d never forget you guys. Impossible.”
“And now it’s my turn,” Abby said. “My present isn’t something you can wrap. It’s a song I’m going to sing.”
Marissa watched her daughter bite her lip and stand back, as though the nine-year-old wasn’t sure Autry would like her gift. Though Marissa had helped the younger girls make and wrap their presents, Abby wanted to do hers on her own. She’d spent the afternoon in her room working on it, so Marissa had no clue what the song was. But a song seemed a lovely idea for a send-off.
Abby walked over to the patio table bench and turned on her iPod and the speaker, and the tune of 2LOVEU’s megahit “Only You” filled the air, but just the music, not the lyrics.
Abby cleared her throat. “I made up new lyrics to the song. Okay, here it goes.”
Everyone quieted and sat down, excited to hear Abby’s song.
“Oh, Mr. Autry, oh, oh, oh, at first you were just our mom’s new friend,” Abby sang, “but then you became our friend, too-oo-oo.”
Kiera and Kaylee clapped, shaking their little bodies to the music.
Marissa glanced at Autry. He was smiling and she could tell he was deeply touched.
“You made us steaks and played charades...” Abby sang, “and even when you lost, you always smiled.” The audience laughed and then the chorus swelled; Abby held her fist to her mouth as though it were a microphone. “And then you stepped in as my partner for the kids competition... Yeah, and I realized that only you could be our new dad. Ooh, yeah,” she sang. “Only you-oo-oo. Only you.”
Marissa froze and watched as Autry’s face paled. She glanced at her parents. Her mother’s expression was tight; her dad tapping his foot to the music as though he hadn’t fully registered what Abby had just sung.
“Yeah, ooh, yeah, only you,” Abby finished and took a bow.
Everyone clapped and Marissa watched Autry try to recover. Abby ran over to give him a hug and he
hugged her tight.
“That was really nice,” he said. “You have a great voice.”
She waited for him to say more. Marissa recognized the look in her daughter’s eyes from when Abby would ask Marissa for something, be told no and then wait for a change of mind.
Autry said nothing else.
Abby’s smile was tight like Roberta’s.
Oh God. Exactly what they’d been afraid of happening had happened.
Ralph announced that dinner was ready, and Marissa was grateful for the distraction. The crew headed over to the buffet table and filled their plates, then sat down. Ralph asked Autry all kinds of questions about Paris, and as Autry described all the exciting sights, like the Louvre and the famous Mona Lisa painting and the breathtaking Eiffel Tower, the Fuller girls, including even subdued Abby, were transfixed. Autry, who was just about fluent in four languages, spoke French to the girls, and they were delighted to hear that “I love hamburgers with pickles and mustard” sounded so fancy in that language.
Every now and again, Marissa would catch Autry looking at her, and she tried to keep her expression neutral and the conversation focused on his trip—not how she felt. Which was absolutely miserable.
She loved Autry. She loved him with all her heart. And tomorrow he was flying off to Paris.
After dessert of ice cream and fruit, her parents insisted on cleaning up themselves, no help allowed. Abby got a phone call from her friend Janie and disappeared with Marissa’s phone into her bedroom. Marissa, Autry and the two younger girls played charades, Kiera standing up and holding up three fingers to indicate that her charade was three words. But then she glanced back toward the house. “Hey, wait. Where’s Abby? I can’t do this one if she’s not here. It’s 2LOVEU.” She plastered her hand over her mouth. “Oops! I just gave it away.”
Yeah, where is Abby? Marissa thought. She’d gone into the house with the phone at least fifteen minutes ago. Granted, the girl loved to talk on the phone to Janie, but it was unusual for her to stay away this long when Autry was over.
Marissa’s parents came back out just then, and Marissa asked them to stay with the girls while she went to get Abby.
As she headed into the house, she realized Autry was right behind her.
“I think I should handle this,” she said. “It’s my fault.” Tears poked her eyes but she blinked them back.
“Your fault? How? What do you mean?”
“I have a feeling that Abby is in her room upset about the reaction to the song. The lack of reaction, I should say, from you. I don’t mean that you should have jumped up and said, ‘Yes, I’d love to be your daddy.’ Of course not. But...” She stopped, her heart clenching.
“But what?” he said flatly.
“My mother tried to warn me that Abby was the one who’d get hurt. But I let this happen, anyway. I let you come into our lives. I let you do The Great Roundup Kids Competition with her. I let you take us all on that dream trip to the 2LOVEU concert. I let her love you.”
The tears she’d fought did come then and Marissa wiped them away. I let myself love you.
What had she done? Why wasn’t she more protective of her children? Of herself?
Autry put his hands on her shoulders. “Marissa, I’m here now. And I’d like to try to fix this—somehow. Let me at least try to talk to her.”
She sucked in a deep breath, torn in two. “Okay.”
They headed up the stairs together, both silent.
Marissa knocked on Abby’s door, then opened it. The room was empty. “That’s weird. She’s not here and we didn’t pass her in the living room.”
“She couldn’t have gotten far,” Autry said. “Let’s split up and check the house and property.”
“It’s a big property. Over five acres. The girls don’t go into the wooded area unless they’re with us, and besides, we would have seen Abby come outside and head toward the woods. Where can she be?”
“We’ll find her. I promise you.”
Marissa’s heart turned over. Where was her daughter?
Chapter Fifteen
While Marissa checked the house, Autry went to the front yard to see if Abby had gone outside. He glanced around at the big lawn, the huge trees dotting the property. In between the heavy green leaf cover of one, he could just make out a pair of orange sneakers with bright yellow laces dangling from blue-jeaned legs. Abby had climbed a tree and was sitting on a branch, not that high up, but higher than his eye level.
Be careful, he told himself as he walked over. He had no idea what he was going to say. He just knew whatever did come out of his mouth would come from his heart and would be the truth, whatever that was. The truth always did out.
“Hey,” he called up, leaning against the trunk of the tree.
He noticed Marissa looking out the window from the living room and caught her eye; he gestured toward the branch and gave her a thumbs-up, then pointed to himself to let her know he had this. She nodded and stayed put, moving a bit out of view.
“Abby?”
He heard her crying, which turned into full sobs.
“Janie called to tell me that Lyle is leaving the band. Leaving 2LOVEU. Can you believe that? He’s the lead singer! And my favorite.” A fresh round of sobs ensued.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Abby. I know how much you like him. But, sweetie, why’d you come out here all by yourself? If you’d told your mom why you were upset, she could have made things better.”
“No, she couldn’t have!” Abby blurted out, anger lacing her voice. “Mom wouldn’t understand at all. Mom is so strong and doesn’t need anybody, but I do!”
Oh, Abby, he thought, his heart going out to the girl. “Sweets, everyone needs people. Everyone.”
“Nope,” she insisted. “I miss my daddy all the time, but Mom barely talks about him. And now you’re leaving, too, and Mom is acting like she doesn’t even care.” She broke into more sobs. “Everyone always leaves. Everyone!”
Autry climbed up next to Abby, praying the branch would hold his weight. It seemed steady. He pulled Abby into his arms and let her cry it out, leaning his head on top of hers.
“I might be leaving tomorrow,” Autry said, “but I will always be there for you, Abby. If you need me, text me. Call me. I’m a friend of the Fuller-Rafferty family, Abby, and that’s what close friends do—they’re there for each other.”
“I can text you?” she asked. “If I want to tell you something?”
“You bet,” he said. “Even if it’s a bad joke. Or if you bomb a spelling test.”
She laughed. “I’m a really good speller.”
“Then text me about an A-plus on your spelling test. Bad news. Good news. That’s what people who care about you are for. And I care, Abby. Even if I’m thousands of miles away. An ocean away.”
“Too bad Lyle doesn’t care,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“You know celebs,” he said. “But you know, you can still love listening to their music even if Lyle’s leaving. There’s always going to be change in your life, Abby. And you yourself will change constantly, too. That’s what growing up is all about.”
“My mom says growing up is full of ups and downs, but more ups.”
“Your mom is one smart cookie. Life is amazing. I’ve had some downs, but look—here I am, hanging out with one of my favorite people in a tree. Pretty cool, huh?”
She laughed. “Yeah. It is.”
“Should we go join the party? I hear your grandfather is making those lime rickeys I love so much.”
Her face brightened and she wrapped her arms around him. “Thanks, Mr. Autry.”
“Anytime,” he said and kissed the top of her head.
As if he were her father. Or something like it.
* * *
Relief had fl
ooded Marissa when Autry had indicated that he’d found Abby. Then anger. At herself. For letting him into their lives.
If it had been just her, just her heart that would be shredded when he left, fine. But she’d let her children experience the whirlwind magic of Autry Jones, and now her child was crying in a tree.
And hadn’t come to her.
Marissa froze when the realization struck. Abby hadn’t come to her. Why?
She peered out the window and saw Abby and Autry heading back toward the house, Autry’s arm around her, Abby animatedly talking about something. Well, whatever he’d said had been the right thing.
They came in the front door, and her daughter ran into her arms.
“I’m sorry I just left, Mom. I was so upset because Janie called and told me that Lyle is leaving 2LOVEU. And that combined with Autry leaving... I just kinda lost it.”
Marissa hugged her daughter. “I understand, sweetie. But next time you’re sad about something, I hope you’ll come to me, Abby. You can always tell me anything.”
“Mr. Autry says you’re a smart cookie. I already know that.” Abby hugged her tight. “I’m going to help Grandpa make the lime rickeys. Mr. Autry loves those.” She ran off toward the kitchen.
Marissa turned to Autry. “Thanks for talking to her. Whatever you said was obviously the right thing.”
“I just let her know that I care about her and I’m here for her, even if I’m three thousand miles away. That if she needs a friend she can always text me.”
Ah. Well, that was nice of him. Marissa wasn’t sure how long that would last. Maybe the first couple weeks, he’d be charmed by a nine-year-old texting him that she was upset about a boy teasing her or something. But then he’d stop being so charmed and would take longer and longer to respond, until he stopped altogether. And then Marissa would have to deal with Abby’s tears over that. So why prolong the inevitable?
“Marissa, I...”
And he still hadn’t said anything about Abby’s song. About how only Autry could be their new dad. He was ignoring, avoiding it. Because he couldn’t be their dad. Wouldn’t be. Didn’t want to be.