by Flynn Eire
“You don’t know the half of it because he doesn’t talk about it,” Barry warned. “The only time I ever saw a crack in his armor was on the anniversary of his mom’s death. He used to swipe booze and sneak up onto the roof of the school. I found him there after we arrived, and he told me how bad it was. How he’d come home every day from school and think that would be the day he’d find her dead.
“How he had to clean up the vomit and handle everything of the house. How people treated him like the village idiot because his mom was an addict. He’s not stupid. He was uneducated because they put a football in his hand and that’s how he was of use or had value in that insignificant shit town. Only then did anyone care or help him. He did everything. You have no idea the life he suffered before coming here.
“The only reason anyone even cared about him after she died was because the coach knew he could take the fucking football team to state. So he became his foster parent, and everyone praised the damn coach for taking in the charity case, but Dublin hated it. He wanted to go anywhere else instead of the small minds that treated him like a piece of meat for football or other things.”
“I knew that landmine,” I muttered, knowing he was speaking of the fact people treated Dublin as nothing but his big cock. “And while immensely impressive, there are other men with massive dicks. People are stupid.” I sighed, scrubbing my hands over my head. “Please help him. Don’t help me or fill me in. I don’t want him to feel any more alienated from you.”
“I can do both,” Barry grumbled. “You were making him happy. I’ll fix it and talk to him. I get how he saw what you did and what I did, but neither of us meant it that way.” He gave me a hard look though. “But if you deny him or make anything about—”
“I don’t care if the whole fucking world knows I love to bottom for him,” I snapped. “I just want my fucking mate back. We were on a good path and I want him happy, laughing, and reaching for me.” I flinched when I heard several gasps, glancing at my brothers. “Yes, I bottom for my mate. There’s—”
“Why would we give a shit about that?” Gerald asked, glancing among the others with a frown. “I gasped because I couldn’t believe you were blurting out something so personal when you never talk bedroom anything.” He must have read something in my expression or felt something from me because he grabbed my arms and shook me. “Don’t tell me you think we believed Father’s bullshit?”
I gave a slow nod. “You all seemed to agree being gay was fine as long as we weren’t the woman.”
“Father and his siblings believe that shit, Trevor,” Ashton growled. “Not us. It’s insanity. Oh, it’s okay to be gay because there are gay mates, but if a Hale ever bends over for a man, they’re the bitch and better start popping out pups like bitches should. It’s ridiculous and demeaning to gay men and women. None of us ever believed that.”
One of my other brothers snorted. “Not since I was ten and grew my own brain to figure out Father was full of shit.”
I let out a heavy breath. “I’m thrilled to hear it. I really am because it bothered me you felt that way, and I was embarrassed when it’s not anything to be embarrassed over.”
“You runt,” Gerald sighed, giving me a loving look and hugging me. The others joined, teasing me for being little and the sensitive baby. It wasn’t mean though. They’d said it so many times over our many years that it was the reason they weren’t cruel like other Hale litters. That I was the reason they learned and loved as they did.
“Wow, to be accepted and loved like that by your litter for being different is something I always dreamed of,” Oddfinn blurted when we were done, glancing between us.
As his brothers looked like he’d just punched them somewhere seriously bad.
He left lunch, not even glancing at his siblings, but I could feel the hurt pouring off of him.
“We love him just as they love their runt,” Dagfinn argued, focused on Oddfinn’s mate.
Seth shook his head, getting to his feet. “No, you don’t. You don’t love him like they do. You might love Odd just as much, but he is always odd man out with your litter. You laugh at certain things he does or how he is, assuming he’s laughing with you, but he’s normally not. But you are in the same spot they are. Odd is probably the reason any of you didn’t come out to be total assholes.
“He’s calm when none of you are. He’s the yin to your three yang and balances you all. And he accepts that, loves you, and understands his role. You three still explain him like he’s an alien that others won’t ever get. You still do it. Even though you’re trying and I do believe you really love him, you still do it. And you never say it like you’re bragging, but more like how families explain someone not having alcohol because someone was in rehab.”
“It alienates and hurts them,” I muttered, glancing after Odd when his mate nodded. “I think he’s super cool and such a damn adult. I can’t ever seem to get my shit together like he does.”
Seth smiled brightly. “That is my mate. He believes his years should have taught him as much as possible to teach and share with others, not be a chip on his shoulder for posturing or respect. He’s too evolved to care about any of that.”
Again, Odd’s siblings winced, so that was something they seemed to do or had gotten busted for.
Ariel appeared, covered in blood and looking exhausted. I felt the panic and terror of every Hale shoot through the roof, as she was going to our family estate to investigate into our stuff. She seemed to realize our upset and hurried to change her appearance.
“Right when I was about to leave your estate, I felt a horde of demons and dispatched them. It got messy when several tried to shoot me, not knowing bullets would pass right through an archangel, and hit others in their group. The humans they possessed were too far damaged to be saved.”
“I’m sorry you had such a rough evening,” Miranda said gently, her litter becoming close with Ariel since she helped them so much.
“Thank you.” She turned to look at us. “Your belongings are all safe. Your father wanted to destroy them, but one of your cousins talked him out of it, saying that you had fallen under whatever spell the female Hales had and once we betray you—as apparently angels are the ones known for betraying in your family, not demons—you would be home at your rightful place to make amends with Hell.”
“Of course Father bought such bullshit,” Gerald sighed, sitting down and looking a bit older. “That’s the problem with any fanatics or power hungry people. Their egos and beliefs are too big, too set, that it makes it easy to manipulate them. How he has that ego when he can be tricked so easily is something I never understood. It makes him the weakest of us all.”
“Yes, and his temperament has not improved,” she sighed, looking seriously wiped. “He has become an even more controlling tyrant since your apparent bespelled defection or whatever. I will discuss the best path with my siblings, and possibly we will go and collect all your belongings in one shot.”
“That’s going to make it harder for the others to get out,” I worried, knowing we had other cousins who had been on the fence.
“I will see it done,” she said with a firm nod.
“Thanks,” I sighed, moving closer and hugging her. “Why don’t you go rest? You’ve been running like crazy. Go take a break, Ariel. The world will not end if you rest.”
“No, but too much madness has spread.” She studied me carefully and winced. “Well, you surely stepped in it. Do you wish my help?”
“Maybe once I figure out a plan, yes, thank you. Until then, go rest.” I was glad when she nodded.
She disappeared, and I glanced up at Heaven, worried about them.
“I missed like five things there,” Ashton admitted.
“She heard my thought that maybe there was a way to slip our cousins a note saying if they need help getting out, all they have to do is call her or one of the archangels,” I explained. “Someone will undoubtedly tell Father, but at least they’ll know how to get free.” I
sighed. “But some might call just to try and spy, but I have to hope the archangels would know who those were.”
“I’m sure they would,” Ashton agreed. “And the rest? She skips conversations and just answers thoughts a lot, so it’s hard to figure out how she got somewhere.”
“The madness is the evil humans in the world doing more evil, pushed by demons, so people pray for help and the archangels might go in and smite those people.”
“Sending more souls to Hell,” Gerald surmised, and I nodded.
“Yes, and it ups the numbers, and it’s upsetting the archangels like they’re nothing but pawns between God and Lucifer, if he’s even in charge of this new wave of madness, as no one’s been able to confirm that. The last part was her hearing my worries about Dublin.” I growled when Gerald and a few others frowned. “My mate is a good man. He was very gentle with me when he’s been badly hurt. I messed up.
“You cannot fault him for how he reacted to a situation he should never have been put in. That’s like blaming the dog who bites a child after getting kicked or hurt. If people hadn’t been mistreating the dog, he would never have acted like that or done it later when he was scared it would happen again.”
“It is especially adorable that you are such a dog activist when we’re hounds,” Gerald praised with a chuckle. “Fine, your mate is wonderful, I’m sure. We worry for you though. What can we do to help?”
I opened my mouth a few times and closed it, doing a great impression of a fish. “I have not a clue. I am at a complete loss as to what to do and not hurt him more.” I got choked up and turned into my eldest, letting him comfort me. “I want my mate, Gerald.”
“I know, I know, baby brother,” he whispered, comforting me. “Tell us everything, and we will help. We will find a way. We always find a way, as there’s nothing the twelve of us can’t handle.”
“Hey, we’re here to help too,” Miranda called over. “You guys helped us and with our mates. We’re in. Just tell us what you need. Start from the beginning, Cousin. We’ll get some drinks and figure out a plan.”
“Okay,” I sighed, wiping my eyes. “We can do this.”
I really wasn’t all that confident though because I’d messed up pretty bad, and with Dublin having so many wounds, I wasn’t sure there was any coming back from it.
5 ~ Dublin
I had tied one off pretty damn good the night before, continuing my drinking after I woke up and showered, skipping dinner. So I was starving, dehydrated, and wondering if I was still fucking drunk when I walked out of my room to find a large hound sitting there patiently… With an envelope in his mouth.
“Me?” I checked, sighing when the hound nodded. I went over and took the letter, wondering if I’d ever gotten something closed with a friggin’ wax seal like in the movies.
Dublin,
I am truly sorry that my attempt to reconcile with you made things even worse. That was not my intent, and I certainly think you are more than the best sex of my long, long life. You are. I longed for my mate, and my little head did the thinking. I understand you want space, well, probably to never see me again, but I won’t give up on us. Not ever.
But space is a reasonable request. However, with the alcohol you consumed, I was concerned about your wellbeing, as I do not know how much is too much for a human. Ashton offered to watch over you in my stead. I said as long as he was shifted, as he wouldn’t be able to speak and bother you or push you.
I won’t even ask for another chance or beg your forgiveness yet. You deserve the time to sit with this development. I am at your complete disposal for whatever you might need. Call me anytime, and I will run right over.
Trevor
I snorted, tucking the note back in the envelope. “Nice. So it’s not all about sex, but he’s offering me booty calls.” I flinched as the air vibrated around me.
“That is not what my brother meant,” Ashton said quietly, kneeling where he had been sitting, careful to hide his groin from me. “He meant if you were ready to talk or wanted to yell at him even, as he would rush over for the chance you even care enough to yell at him. I am sorry for how many have treated you as a sex object or less than you are worth, but my baby brother would never do that. He adores you.”
“You want clothes?” I asked after a moment, heading back to my door. “Hungry?”
“I was supposed to stay shifted,” he muttered, studying me carefully.
“You’re not a damn watch dog. Are you going to be an asshole if we eat?”
“Not intentionally.”
“Fair enough.” I let him into my room and found him shorts, a shirt, and flip flops that would work since we weren’t the same size shoe. I headed for breakfast, noting the weird looks he kept shooting me. “What?”
“Did Trevor tell you how he got into rescuing dogs?” he asked as we reached the cafeteria.
“No.”
“Are you curious? Or will I be an asshole if I tell you when you’re just trying to do your thing?”
I kind of liked him for not only checking, but making it clear he wasn’t going to waste his breath if I was in a mood not to listen. I shrugged. “You can tell me.” I headed over to the hot breakfast, needing the fuel and comfort only a good breakfast could bring.
“Mother used to tell this story why he was the strongest of all of us even if he’s the smallest,” Ashton explained as he loaded up plates too. “You know we’re born hounds and stay that way the first few years?” He waited until I nodded. “We were five maybe when he found a dying puppy on the edge of the estate when we were playing. He was so, so upset he ran off and found help.
“Father said to just shoot it and walked away, but Trevor wouldn’t let anyone hurt it and begged Mother to let him try and help it. She caved, having a kind heart no matter what she was, no matter how she was treated. She brought it back to the stable and let Trevor keep it in an empty stall and attempt to nurse it back to health, warning him that there was like no chance.
“But my brother refused to give up. He slept out in the stable, not wanting the puppy to be scared or alone. He’d patiently hold a bottle of water forever against the pup’s lips just for a time it would have enough energy to get even a drop of water. He put milk soaked small pieces of bread in its mouth so it could do nothing but swallow and get nutrition. He wrapped it in a blanket and shifted to lay with it, not letting it get scared or feel alone.
“He did that for days and days, and slowly, the puppy ate more, drank more, but it seemed like it was still a losing battle because it still wasn’t getting enough. Didn’t seem to heal enough to survive. Trevor promised to do extra chores if Mother would call the doctor who helped with the horses now and again. He promised to do anything after the puppy survived and fought those first few days.”
“What happened?” I asked when he stopped.
“Mother caved,” he answered as we moved over to get drinks before heading to a table. “The animal doctor came and put splints on the pup’s two broken legs and told Trevor what to do. What he could feed it for more nutrition and what to let it chew on for the pain. It took weeks of nursing it back to health, but it lived. It didn’t live as long as most dogs, but it had a good six years of being completely adored and loved by my brother.
“I asked him once why he did it. Why not put the poor thing out of its misery and instead give up so much, all the extra chores and shit my father gave him for being weak and caring? Do you know what he said?” He smiled when I shook my head. “He said ‘it could have just as easily been us. We’re part hound; it was one skipping stone of fate that made us Hellhounds instead of that hound.’
“Then he admitted he didn’t fully understand it was only a dog, not a dog that could shift into human like us. He thought the puppy had a litter waiting for him to come home, missing him as Trevor would if one of us got lost or injured. That’s who my brother is. It was never just some animal but an injured soul who had people who loved it.”
“I feel like there’s
a moral to the story you want me to hear besides how adorable and sweet Trevor is.”
“You are as smart as my brother says,” he chuckled, cutting into his pancakes. “Yes. I want you to understand my brother won’t ever give up on you. He won’t ever abandon you. Admit it, part of why you immediately pushed him away so hard was how you’ve been hurt by those who were supposed to love you and you felt betrayed, assuming he would abandon you next.”
I sat with that and finally nodded. “I don’t think I was conscious of that, but yeah, it tracks. I was more upset at him playing me, pushing me through his steps, his maze to get the ending he wanted.”
He shook his head. “That’s not Trevor. You’re seeing a more sinister outlook on what he did, and it’s understandable.” He sighed when I gave him a challenging look. “You’re the puppy in that story, Dublin. You’ve been wounded, left for dead, and when others might have said to give up on you, that all you are is sex or play, there Trevor went and patiently nursed you to see yourself more, get stronger and let him in.”
I opened my mouth and then closed it, shaking my head. “I felt that way too, but it’s more selfish when you take into account that you guys need your mates to ground you or whatever else.”
“Yes, and if it was me or Gerald or even almost any other hound I know, I would absolutely give you that. Trevor’s not like that. I promise you that he has not once thought about what his hound needs, but only what’s best for you, what you need. He screwed up. He didn’t know you well enough to know what to do, but doesn’t he deserve the credit for trying? You announce you only play or take a hike, and he walked your maze to be near you.”
Well, he had me there. “You’re good.”
“Not normally,” he chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee. “But watching my baby brother break down sobbing that he hurt his mate and made things worse, hurt you worse, killed me. All he wants is you, Dublin. He was worried about you and went to apologize. He wouldn’t say exactly what happened yesterday, so I wonder if it was unflattering as to what you did because he would never speak against you, but he’s terrified you’ll go somewhere dark.”