by Marci Fawn
I will fly over there as often as I can, and I will bring them here too. I won’t even think about marrying again – especially not to Kristine – while I figure out being a father. Lily is already the most important person in the world to me, and I’ll never to anything to jeopardize that.
Once she is tucked in under the sheets, I start to read.
“Okay, so this one is called The Magnificent King.”
As we adventure through the book, I cannot help but think it’s a little ironic that she picked a story at random, that just happens to be about a father (the king) who is desperately trying to find his daughter (the princess).
Of course, the obstacles within their way are totally different to what me and Lily have faced – wizards, and toads, and even a vampire bat – but it still feels a little odd to read all the same, as if there’s some hidden meaning there that she doesn’t quite recognize yet.
“And they returned home to their castle, and lived happily ever after. The end.”
“That was a good story,” Lily said sleepily.
“I liked the king, he’s really nice.”
“Me too,” I whisper, not wanting to disturb her sleepy state.
“I would like a dad like him,” she continues, sending a cold chill into my heart.
What do I say to that? I glance over at Faith, but she looks just as speechless as I am.
“I would like a dad like you – you gave me the best day ever. Thank you.”
“Err, you’re welcome,” I reply, leaning down to kiss her lightly on the head.
Her sentiment in lovely, but there is no denying that it’s shocked me. I don’t even know how to react.
“Goodnight, sweetheart. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Then I step out into the hallway, while Faith says her goodnights. While I’m there, my mind reels. I wish that I could just say something, that I could tell her the truth, especially as Lily wants it as much as me.
It’s so frustrating that I have to stay quiet, but I know that it’s for the best.
Just be patient, I tell myself. It won’t be like this forever.
15
Faith
I watch my daughter quickly slip into a deep sleep while my brain flies all over the place. I knew that Lily liked Edward, but to say that… it’s just insane.
Does she know more than I realize? She’s always been such a clever, switched on little girl. Even when she was young, she always amazed me with how much she was aware of.
Was that the right moment to tell her? Should I have stepped in and done it then? To be honest, I’m nowhere near comfortable enough in this castle yet to be even thinking about big life revelations like that. I keep expecting the queen to pop out at any moment, giving me the shock of my life and sending me on my way.
Once I’m certain that Lily won’t wake up again, I join Edward in the hallway, wondering if he’s going to mention her comment, but he seems as baffled as I am by it, because he simply changes the subject.
“Would you like to come to my room? I have some drinks in there, and I feel like we could both use one after the crazy day… well week that we’ve had?”
“Yes please,” I laugh happily, agreeing with him.
A drink might help me to calm down and help me to relax.
“That sounds amazing.”
As we walk through the hallway of the palace once more, I try to picture a young Edward here, growing up, but it’s impossible. It’s so far away from my own very normal, very boring childhood that it all just feels like a very strange fairy tale.
I’ve known for a long time that he’s a prince, practically from the moment we met, but I suppose that seeing it is something else. Being here, in his real life castle, it’s all become that much more hard hitting.
“Here we are,” we enter a room that isn’t too far away from Lily’s – which is perfect for listening out in case she wakes up – I find myself amazed to be in one room, a bedroom that is barely used, and one that could fit about three of my apartments in.
But it isn’t the size of it that I really notice, it’s all of the amazing stuff that’s inside. Okay, so there is a massive, widescreen television and a media center that’s to die for, but I don’t even really look at that either.
It’s the things that he has that I would love to own myself. There are endless books about history, and the coolest collection of factual scale models that I’ve ever seen. There are fossils and archeology relics, scrolls and all kinds of parchments.
It’s like a historian’s dream.
I wander around, carefully looking at it all, while Edward pours us drinks, and it takes me a while to drag my eyes away to sit down on his massive bedroom sofa with him.
To be honest, if I was with anyone else in the entire world, then I might not have been able to pull myself away.
But this is Edward, the man that I love, the man that I should never have left, the father of my child. Everything up until this point since we first laid eyes on each other again, has been tense and stressful, but this is the first chance we will have to relax a little around one another.
I can’t help but wonder where it’ll lead.
Okay, so it might not be a good idea because it will definitely re-open some wounds, and it’ll lead to some questions that need to be answered, but from the way that my body is buzzing with that intense chemistry that I can only get from him, I don’t know if I’ll be able to resist.
If the opportunity comes around, I suppose…
“So,” Edward hands me a glass, and I take much needed drink.
“Tell me about what you’ve been up to since we last saw one another.”
He isn’t being mean, or having a dig, I can see the genuine curiosity in his eyes, which is the only reason that I feel confident enough to answer him…
“I just think that she hates me because I don’t have a title, or whatever.” I lean forward, laughing at my comment.
“She didn’t like me from the very first moment that she laid eyes on me!”
Okay, these drinks are definitely stronger than what I’m used to because I don’t think I’ve had that much, and yet I’m tipsy enough to feel confident in criticizing Edward’s mother, the queen, to his face.
And yet… I can’t seem to stop myself.
“I know,” he agrees with me, nodding a little too vigorously to be completely sober.
“I noticed it that night, I just didn’t want to make a scene so I tried to ignore it. She didn’t even give you a chance.”
This is a very dangerous subject matter, yet I don’t really feel it. I don’t think it’s going to lead to awkward questions, not tonight when we’re both having such a good time around one another. If anything, the flirty looks that he’s giving me suggests that it’s going to go another way entirely.
I hope that isn’t just my hopes making me feel that way, I hope it’s his too because if he rejects me tonight when my body is on such a high, it might just crush me.
Unable to stand the anticipation and the not knowing for even a second longer, I decide to take the plunge and to make the first move. This is bold for me – definitely not something that I would normally do – but I’m tipsy, happy, and with the love of my life.
Plus I need to know.
I decide that the best way to tackle it is to make a flirty, jokey comment that I can play off to save face if needs be. I don’t plan to say exactly what comes out of my mouth, but it seems that I’ve lost the ability to behave myself around this gorgeous hunk of a man.
“You know, I’ve always fantasized about having sex in a castle.”
I giggle in a way that I can only hope is cute, but Edward looks completely stunned. For a second, I feel my face heat up as I realize that I’ve said totally the wrong thing, ruining what was shaping up to be a perfectly lovely evening.
But then he stands up and he holds his hand out for mine.
“I can make that dream come true,” he replies huskily, lust evident in his v
oice. “Come with me.”
I don’t know where he intends to take me, but I know that in this moment I would follow him to the ends of the Earth. There is an intense passion flowing through me, one that is crying out for him, and if I don’t give into that soon I might just explode.
I walk behind him, gripping his fingers tightly in mind. As we walk, I’m vaguely aware that this probably isn’t the smartest move in the world, and that it’s going to lead to all kinds of unnecessary complications, but my need for Edward completely overshadows that. I feel like we’ve been resisting it for far too long, and I can’t take it any longer.
The sexual tension surrounding us, plus the hooded desire that I’m sure I’ve been seeing in Edward’s eyes all night, is making me far too turned on to even consider thinking straight.
I want him so badly, and nothing is going to stop us now. We’ve already stepped over the invisible boundary anyway; things have already become something else. There isn’t any point in holding back from what we both so clearly want.
“Here we are.” He takes me into the grandest room that I’ve ever seen, one that we certainly missed out on our grand tour earlier.
It has the most luxurious four-poster bed, and a view over the castle grounds like no other. It’s like a dream come true.
“What is this?” I ask.
It’s all old fashioned, nothing like the rest of the place, and it has me feeling like I’m living in some sort of fantasy world. In here, I feel like I could almost step out of my shell and away from myself, playing another character entirely.
For taking an action that could potentially have some real world consequences, it’s perfect.
“It’s a really old version of the royal chambers,” he tells me casually, as if he doesn’t know that I’m totally going to love this.
“This room hasn’t been used for years, but it’s been left in its original state regardless.”
“Wow!” I gasp excitedly, moving closer to the window, just to take stock for a second.
As I drink in the countryside view, I try to think smartly for a second just to ensure that I really am making the right choice, but it’s as if my brain has shut down. My body has full control of me, and my body only wants one thing…
As I spin back around to look at the man who fills me with such a heady lust, the desire starts to consume me. I feel all jittery and on edge just knowing that I’m this far away from Edward, when I really could be over there kissing him, but now the anticipation is something that I want to savor, if just for a few seconds longer.
I love you.
That thought pops into my head, but luckily, I don’t say it aloud. Of course I love Edward, he’s the most amazing man on the planet, but I really did give up my right to him when I ran away on our wedding night.
I take a tentative step closer, already imagining what it’s going to be like when his lips are on mine. It’s going to be amazing, I just know it, and that thought is leaving me a mess.
Step, step, step.
I’m tiptoeing, trying to be far too careful and cautious, so when he eventually grabs me and wraps his arms around me, before pulling me in for a deep, fiery, passionate kiss, I couldn’t be more grateful. I need him to take control, if just for a moment, while I pull myself together.
He pulls me closer, allowing my body to mold into his, and an involuntary moan escapes past my lips as I realize that this moment is the freest that I’ve felt in a very long time. Since the last time that we were together in fact.
He takes me, he claims me with his mouth, and I willingly allow him to do so. I want to be his, I want to be by his side forever, even if that’s going to be difficult and very complex… it’s my hearts deepest desire.
Our clothes begin to shed in a blur as we make out like horny teenagers that have finally gotten their hands on one another. It’s as if we have been sex starved, completely deprived of any human contact forever, and we’re finally being set free into the wild.
“Oh my God,” I groan in a passion, as I run my hands down that amazing sculpted body.
I never thought that I would get to feel it again, and the fact that I am feels better than I ever could have expected.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
He kisses me, moving me backwards until my legs hit the bed behind me. Unable to consider fighting this passion for another second longer, I allow myself to fall backwards, collapsing into an almost hysterical heap.
Edward doesn’t join me right away; he looms over me, scanning his eyes over every inch of my body. It’s a weird feeling, allowing myself to be scrutinized after such a long time, and after my body has been through so many changes – including childbirth – but somehow he still manages to make me feel confident and desired.
“You’re still the most beautiful woman on the entire planet,” he whispers as he leans down to hover above me.
“I’m so grateful that you’re here with me right now.” Then, before I can respond, he kisses me lightly on the lips, sending a bolt of desire racing through my entire body.
Just as I settle in to the rhythm of the kissing, feeling comfortable at last, he shocks me once more by grabbing hold of my thighs and hauling me right down to the end of the bed. He positions himself between my legs, pressing his length up against me in a way that sends me my heart was fluttering like crazy. He’s driving me so wild that I don’t even know where to begin. What do I even do with myself?
“I…” I try to speak, but he instantly shuts me up by kissing me.
As I groan loudly with pleasure against his mouth, he pulls me even closer to him and he begins to trail his fingers lightly up my legs, causing me to shiver underneath his touch.
He seems to be able to hit all of the right spots in my body, and he isn’t even doing anything yet. How is it possible that he still seems to know exactly what to do to drive me wild?
Then he plunges a finger deep inside of me, sending fireworks exploding in my stomach. As he explores me, really getting to know every inch of my hot, wet desire, everything else vanishes and I become completely consumed by only him. Him and the insane sensations that he has flooding through my body.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, sounding hazy and filled with desire.
“More than you’ll ever know.”
I sit bolt upright at his words, needing him to kiss me once more. I want to express that my emotions match his, but I don’t think that I can find the words without completely breaking down, so I try to show it through my actions instead.
I pull him against my chest, hugging him tightly for just a second, allowing the love to flow between us. Then I crash my lips against his, and the sweet love becomes a fierce passion all over again.
I tug at his hair and his hands work their way over my body, feeling every single bit of my skin. As he massages my curves, he falls against me, as if the passion is too much for him, which gives me an idea of what I want to do next. I want him to crumble, to fall apart, and I want to be responsible for that. So I lightly push him backwards until I’m standing, then I sit him on the bed in front of me.
I allow his confused eyes to flicker over my body for a moment, before I slump to my knees in front of him. He starts to see what is coming next, so he grips tightly to the sheets beneath him, as if he’s trying to steady himself for what I’m about to do. I smile smugly to myself, getting exactly what I want as I take him in my hand.
At first, I run my fingers up and down his shaft, experimenting a little to see what he likes, and then just as I settle into a pattern that seems to suit him perfectly, I change things up a bit by running kisses all over his length too. Just as it seems that he can’t take it anymore, I wrap my lips around him.
“Oh fuck,” he cries.
“This is… it’s too much… it feels…”
He’s losing it, which is exactly what I need, so I slide him in to the back of my throat. He fills my mouth up in a way that excites me, almost as much as it does him. He grun
ts and groans, a sound that gets increasingly louder as I flick my tongue all over him.
“Stop,” he eventually cries out, pulling back from me.
“I’m too close, I… I need you.”
I certainly don’t need telling twice, so I allow him to pull me onto his lap, where he teases my entrance for a few moments. I grow hotter by the second, digging my nails deeply into his shoulder, until it feels like I’ll die if I don’t have him right away.
“No teasing,” I beg.
“I need you, I need you now.”
With that, he thrusts hard into me, causing me to squeal in surprise. Each time he slides in and out of me, I shiver with desire, as I find myself being brought to the brink of desire over and over again.
The hot pool of bliss starts off small in the pit of my stomach, but it’s soon racing all over my body, sending pulsating waves of pleasure crashing over me, consuming me entirely.
“Oh my God,” I hear myself cry in the heat of the moment.
“Edward, I love you.”
As we both lie there, panting breathlessly, the panic slowly creeps through my body. I said it, the words I promised myself that I wouldn’t say aloud.
But then he turns to kiss me, in a more tender and loving way. He holds my face in his hands, and he looks at me with sheer awe.
“You know I love you too, right?” Now that he’s saying it aloud, it feels obvious to me, so I nod, agreeing with him.
“And we will somehow find a way to make this work.”
“Okay,” I whisper, allowing myself one glorious moment to believe that he’s right, and that this time things will be different.
“Now let’s go back to my room, where we are nearer to Lily in case she needs us.”
As we walk back this time, I am on cloud nine. I cannot believe that I’ve gone from never thinking that I would see Edward again, to spending the night with him and actually making plans for the future in only a few short weeks. It’s insane.
Of course, I know that we are going to face many obstacles in the future, and I know that things aren’t going to be easy for us because all of the problems that we had before are still there, but I feel like the fact that we are both older and wiser will help us. I’m sure that this time nothing will be able to tear us apart…