She nodded. “I do. I work really hard. And I love my job.”
He lowered his hand and tugged her waist so she stepped closer. He wanted to feel her against his body again. He needed it like air, especially knowing this would be it. He’d cut himself off, cold turkey. He could already feel the phantom withdrawals. “What do you love most about your job?”
She smiled and ran her finger over a button on his shirt. “Well, I love video games. Been playing since I got my first game system—A Nintendo SNES—when I was a little girl. My brother and I used to play Mario Brothers.”
He nodded because he remembered it. His dad couldn’t afford a Nintendo but he’d played at friend’s houses.
“And,” she continued. “I love helping consumers. Sorting out which game is best. We receive emails all the time from kids who save every penny they make mowing lawns. At the end of the summer, they can afford one game, and our magazine helps them choose.”
Austin huffed out a breath. He’d been one of those kids who mowed lawns.
“The assistant editor is leaving and I have a chance to take his place.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I want it. I want that job so badly, I can taste it.”
Austin hadn’t known Bradley was leaving. This was even worse than she knew. Because now if anyone found out about them, Marley could be accused of using alternative means to get the job and Austin could be sued for sexual harassment.
Fuck.
Marley wasn’t staying in that neat little compartment he’d placed her in. He found his control slipping around her, with every touch of her hand, every laugh that echoed in his ears. He’d come there with the intention of fulfilling her fantasies as well as his own, and he ended up becoming enraptured by her. Her beauty and ambition. Her strength in putting all her trust in him when he touched her. God, what would it feel like to trust someone that much?
She made him want… She made him want more.
And that was how he knew he had to stay away from her, because he was having trouble detaching. Normally, he was able to maintain a distance during sex, so that afterward, leaving was only a matter of buttoning his shirt.
With Marley, he wanted to drag her back home and spend all day in bed, hearing that laugh and feeling that smooth skin beneath his palms. He wanted to wring those whimpers from her until she was hoarse.
And hearing her talk about her career… Well, it made him admire her even more, and also cemented his decision to let her go. This wasn’t just about him. This was also about her. He would never forgive himself if he messed up the career that she so loved.
As if her mind was heading down the same path—although with much less information—she took one step back, her hand slipping from his chest. Another step and they were no longer connected. No part of her touched him. All he felt was cool air. And he hated it. The loss of her hands on him was like a limb had been cut off. How had she gotten so far under his skin in such a short amount of time?
She stood in front of him now, beautiful, vibrant, and so damn ambitious. He needed to get away from her before he ruined her life.
He licked his lips and took a deep breath, rolling his shoulders, feeling his armor slip over his skin. Except now it was ill-fitting and he could feel every chink—each one caused by Marley.
He ignored the sensation and focused on her. “You’re right. This was risky, and I’m sorry for putting you in this position.” God, it hurt, every word leaving his mouth left cuts along the way. He expected to taste the blood any minute. “I won’t bother you again.”
He didn’t look at her face, just in case she was as weak for him as he was for her. He walked past her, opened the door to the supply closet, and then slipped down the hallway to the back door.
The soles of his dress shoes clacked on the pavement in the parking lot, each footstep echoing off the brick wall as he made his way to his car.
When he reached his car, he did taste the blood, that iron tang. He realized he’d been biting his cheek that hard, the pain not even registering through his foggy brain.
He wanted to sleep for about five years. But he knew he’d dream of Marley.
He slipped behind the wheel of his Jag and slammed his head on the headrest, closing his eyes. He saw Marley behind his lids, her flushed face, wet nipples, aroused pussy.
Well, fuck.
He turned on the ignition and placed his hands on the steering wheel. Then he pulled out of the parking lot, preparing himself for a sleepless night in his lonely, empty house.
Chapter Seven
Marley kept her gaze on her computer screen, but she could see the hallway leading to the supply closet out of the corner of her eye.
And it was driving her crazy.
Two days ago, she’d had the best sex of her life, and then she’d turned it all down for her job. Why had she done that again? Oh, right, because it was a distraction.
As if she wasn’t still distracted. Stupid hallway.
She blew out a breath and took another sip of her coffee.
The office had been in a dither all day. Grant Osprey, the owner of Gamers, had dropped in, which wasn’t necessarily rare, but it was cause for office chatter. He often worked from home, but with the news that Bradley was leaving, any hint of his presence started the rumor mill.
She’d already expressed her interest in the position to the editor in chief, James Mathers. But Grant would sign off on any new hire. She’d never talked to him much, but he’d sat in on her initial interview and asked a few questions.
Her phone rang at her desk.
“Gamers, this is Marley Lake.”
“Marley,” James’s craggy voice said in the line. The man smoked too much. “Do you have a minute to come in to my office?”
“Yep, I’ll be right there.”
She hung up the phone and glanced down the hallway for the fiftieth time that day. Okay, that hour.
Dammit.
She stood up and smoothed her skirt, checking for any runs in her nylons. She slipped her feet into her heels and walked in the direction of James’s office.
She knocked on the door and then turned the knob after she heard a curt, “Come in.”
She smiled at James, but that smile faltered when she caught sight of Grant in the room, sitting across from James’s desk, his posture sprawled, one hand propped on the arm of his chair.
He straightened as she walked in, and then stood up with his hand out. “How’s it going, Marley?”
She shook his hand and sat down when he gestured to the seat beside him. They both sat as James watched from behind his desk. “Good, Grant, and you?”
He shrugged. “Can’t complain.”
She’d always found Grant attractive. He was kind of like a Ken doll, tall and fit, with golden hair and blue eyes. He was usually smiling, but he seemed a little unfocused to her, like he existed with his head in the clouds. Being around him a lot would drive her crazy, she was sure.
She liked someone calmer, more focused and controlled.
Like Austin.
Stop it, she admonished herself.
She crossed her legs and faced the desk. “Hello, James.”
He grunted a greeting. “We’re scheduling interviews for the assistant editor position.”
That perked Marley’s ears. She straightened her spine and nodded.
“Grant wants to sit it on them, as usual, so we’re trying to coordinate schedules. How about the eighteenth?”
That was about three weeks away, which gave her plenty of time to prepare and beef up her résumé. “Sure, what time?”
James deferred to Grant, who tapped his temple. “Two in the afternoon.”
“That okay with you?” James asked her.
She nodded. “Perfect.”
James clasped his hands on his desk. “What we’re looking for is leadership skills, time management, and professionalism.”
So, not screwing the IT guy in the closet, she thought.
James continued. “You’ve
shown those skills in your current position, but the managing editor job is a lot more work. So if you can present some ways you’d handle it differently and improve the efficiency of Gamers, we’d love to hear it.”
Mission accepted. “I can do that. Thanks again for the opportunity to apply for this position.”
James knocked on his desk. “Of course. You know you’re one of my favorite employees.”
She hadn’t known that, but she appreciated it. “Thanks, James.”
He smiled. “You’re free to get back to work now.”
She turned to Grant and murmured her good-byes, then walked back to her desk. She had to stay focused. This was her job, her career.
She sat down at her computer and edited one column before her gaze drifted back to that damn hallway.
This didn’t bode well for her concentration.
…
“So let me get this straight.” Chad threw a handful of popcorn into this mouth and faced her on the couch. “You sent each other explicit emails for about a week, then he clicked your mouse in a supply closet, and then you two decided to never see each other again.”
“I can’t believe you just said that.” Marley banged the TV remote against her thigh. Damn thing was finicky.
“Oh, yeah, I split my infinite. Sorry about that.”
Marley glared at him as he smirked. “The tech puns are getting old.”
“You rode his joystick.”
“Not again—”
“He uploaded his data to your motherboard.”
“Seriously, you need to stop.”
Chad pouted. “Please get married, because I will make a bangin’ best man speech.”
“Who says you’ll be invited?”
He gasped in mock outrage. “Shut your mouth!”
Marley sighed. “Come on, Chad. I want to forget about my failed hookup with the sexiest man of my dreams, okay? I sacrificed him for my job and right now, I’m starting to second-guess myself, so can we kindly not talk about it?”
His face softened. “I’m sorry, Mars.”
“Yeah, me too.”
They watched a movie, a super sad depressing one that didn’t end in a happily ever after for the couple because Marley said she wanted to feel why love hurts. But in the end, it only made her sadder, as she sobbed into her tissues as the woman threw flowers onto the grave of her lover.
Marley kicked Chad out afterward, even though he’d offered to stay, alarmed by her blotchy face and leaking eyes. But she wanted to be alone with her cat. Which made her even more depressed because how pathetic was she, crying over a sad movie with her cat? Grade A pathetic.
She walked into the small office in her apartment and gazed at the plaques on the wall as Sadie rubbed her ankles. She’d graduated summa cum laude from Penn State with a bachelor’s in journalism, then went on to graduate school for a master’s in media studies. She’d worked at her local newspaper for years, first as a beat reporter, then moving on to specialized technology reporter for the arts and entertainment section. She’d always loved video games and that was where she had started her regular gaming column. From there, she’d accepted a position at Gamers and had been with the magazine ever since.
Her diplomas hung on the wall, representing years of her life spent in class and pulling all-nighters to write papers or cram for tests. She’d been so set on her grades and studies, she hadn’t been the type of student that let go. Even now, she listened to coworkers tell stories about drunken college nights, and she laughed and pretended she knew what they were talking about.
She didn’t, of course, because she’d been holed up in the computer lab or hard at work proofing pages on deadline for the campus newspaper.
So many years. So much control.
Which was why, in Austin’s arms, she could breathe. Interesting that it took a hand around her throat and a tie over her eyes for her to feel alive.
She wasn’t ashamed that that was what she needed in the bedroom, er, supply closet. But she sure as hell hadn’t trusted anyone before Austin. The fact that she did trust him was crazy, but she did. His presence alone was soothing, just the sound of his voice enough to make her feel like her puppet strings—which she pulled herself—had finally been cut.
It had felt so good to let her limbs turn to jelly and her brain to mush in his arms.
Marley groaned and plopped down on the floor, slapping her palm onto her forehead. She’d come in here to remind herself why she cared so much about her job. Why she was fighting so hard to forget about Austin and move up in the ranks at work.
But all she did was think more about Austin. After the supply closet mishap, which was a total lapse in judgment, she’d told herself he was too close to her job. There was no rule or company policy that she couldn’t see him, so it was more her own policy that, at the time, she’d thought was important.
But the more she thought about it, the more irritated she became that the hypothetical opinions of her coworkers were what kept her back. As long as she didn’t do anything stupid like get locked in a supply closet with him again, she could handle this, couldn’t she?
Didn’t she deserve a life outside of Gamers?
A meow made Marley open her eyes. Sadie was nudging her wrist, begging for some head scratches. Marley obliged. “What am I gonna do about that man, Sadie?” Marley crooned, not letting herself dwell on the fact that she’d sunk so low that she was talking to her cat about her sex life.
Sadie meowed again and arched her back. Marley moved her hand to scratch the base of her tail. “Do you think we could see each other in secret?”
Another meow.
“Is that a yes or no?”
Sadie blinked at her.
“Okay,” Marley crossed her legs and held up her hands. “We’re going to vote.” Marley held out both of her hands, palms up, on her knees. “So, this is up to you. If you want scratches from my right hand, then I’ll call Austin. If you want scratches from my left hand, I’ll go get B.O.B. and try to forget Austin exists.” Then she waited. Austin had made it rather clear the ball was in her court. It was her job on the line. It was she who was up for promotion.
She wiggled her fingers at a purring Sadie, who sat in front of Marley on her haunches. “Well? Which one?”
Sadie stared at her, then turned up her nose and walked out of the room.
Marley threw her hands up in the air. “Are you kidding me!” she yelled as her cat’s tail disappeared around the doorframe. “Thanks a lot, you dumb cat!”
Marley stared at her hands, now flat on her thighs. Why did life have to be so complicated?
…
The ant ran in figure eights along the wrinkled edge of the blanket. Austin watched it weave back and forth, then up his thumb and over the back of his hand, pausing at a vein before making its descent back onto the blanket.
The erratic movement made him twitch.
Austin leaned back on his hands and crossed his jean-clad legs at the ankle, wiggling his bare toes. A slight breeze ruffled the colored leaves above them and a few fell onto the ground in front of him, one red and one orange.
Sydney sat cross-legged beside him on the blanket, crunching a handful of chips. Once a month, he took her to the park for a picnic. He’d been doing it since he and Grant had graduated college. Austin wanted to help out his friend, so he offered to take her out, although back then, they’d spent all the time on the playground. Now, they relaxed in the shade of a tree and ate food from the deli that wasn’t particularly healthy.
Sometimes he wondered when he’d arrive to pick her up and find out she’d preferred to go on a date with a boyfriend or go see a movie with friends.
But so far, that hadn’t happened. She answered the door with a smile, her purse slung over her shoulder, a chipper, “Ready to go!” bursting from her lips.
He always felt the most like himself—whoever that was—around Sydney.
Until Marley.
He shook his head to clear that thought an
d focused on Syd. “How’s school?”
She took a sip of water. “I thought classes would be harder once I got to high school.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I’m sure it will get harder each year.”
She shrugged. “Maybe. Dad says I must have somehow inherited your brain.”
Austin thought about how to respond to that. His brain had made him rich, but lately it hadn’t quite made him happy. He was distrustful and obsessive and antisocial, whereas Sydney was friendly and personable. “Well, you inherited your father’s charm, and I think that’s more beneficial.”
Sydney cocked her head and grinned. “You think I’m charming?”
“Don’t be cute.”
She giggled and held out the chip bag. He shook his head to decline and she stuck her hand back in for more chips. “Dad said you should date.”
The girl had no filter. “Did he now? I’m sure he said that without the intention of me hearing it.”
Sydney leaned closer. “Probably. He was talking to Grandma. But I think you should hear it.”
Austin snorted. “Of course you do.”
“Grandma also said you need to loosen your tie a little and take the stick out of your ass.”
Well, ouch. That hurt. Grant’s mother was just like him; they didn’t mince words. “Don’t say ass.”
“You just said it.”
He glared at her.
“He also said that maybe you like men.”
For the love of God. “Did they say all this in front of you?”
Sydney rolled her eyes. “No, I was supposed to be doing homework this morning, but I had my ear against the door of my bedroom so I could hear them talking.”
“Of course you did.”
“So do you like men?”
He exhaled slowly. “I like men but I’m not attracted to them sexually.”
Sydney thought on that a minute. “Oh.”
Should he have gotten permission from Grant to talk to her about this? Oh, whatever. Grant’s fault for not talking quieter, the jackass.
Sydney was still talking. “What about that woman at the movie theater?”
Oh, dammit. “What about her?”
“She was pretty. I liked her hair.”
Austin liked more than her hair. “Yes, she is pretty.”
Changing His Game (Gamers #1) Page 7