by V. F. Mason
“I want you.” Her voice was slightly husky, and I wondered how it would change once I was deep inside her. “I know we can’t now because I need to heal, but I want to badly.” She looked down at my shirt, tugging on it a bit, and then raised to her toes and kissed me on the mouth, licking my lips. When I opened them, she tentatively stroked my tongue and then let go, moving back. It all happened in the blink of an eye and I wanted more. “Wait for me?” Was she asking me to wait until she got better for us to have sex?
If she only knew I would wait for her forever.
I’d waited all this time, after all.
I wanted her so bad.
So fucking badly.
“Yes.”
She smiled and blew me one last kiss with her hand and took off running, leaving me standing there with my steel-hard erection and the most sexual frustration I had ever felt in my life.
Oddly enough, that made me fucking happy.
But there was also the dark part. I knew once she completely healed, she would remember, or rather I would have to tell her, the truth.
And then I would lose her all over again.
Annabella
“Put that down” Marie said.
“Come on! Let me live a little!” seriously, woman was like security guard of coffee.
“No. Put that down and take another cup.”
“I don’t want to drink that crap anymore.” I crossed my arms and tried to give Marie a hard look, but failed miserably because the minute I looked into her eyes, I wanted to look down and do as she said.
Go figure.
“Bella, you won’t get coffee in this house until I say so. Is that clear?” Damn it, she had to go and use that voice of hers.
“Fine.” I took the cup of heaven’s drink, as I called it, and poured it in the sink. My heart was breaking as I watched, seriously. I grabbed the one she had originally given me and didn’t even pretend to take a sip. I hadn’t eaten yet, and that shit made me nauseous on an empty stomach.
I sat down and took a bite out of my toast. Marie poured herself some coffee and sat down with it, inhaling the smell.
“Seriously, Marie. You could be a little more discreet, you know.” She raised an eyebrow.
“I was about to treat you with half a cup, but you went and tried to cheat.” She wagged her index finger. “No such things in my kitchen.”
Well, shit. To think I could have had coffee today. With a sigh, I drank the tea and tried not to gag on it.
I couldn’t believe what I had done last night with Nate.
I had begged him to have sex with me. I never pleaded.
It was like something came over me and there was only him and me in the entire universe. I was worried sick when he wasn’t on time, and Dean informed me his flight was delayed. I felt restless without him at home; I had no idea why, either. I was so used to him being there, but I didn’t want to rely on him. So the minute I saw him, I wanted nothing but to run into his arms, and I did just that.
I didn’t understand. Was I developing some kind of Stockholm syndrome?
He didn’t kidnap me, but still. I was kind of his prisoner in here.
Yeah, Bella. Drive yourself nuts with those ridiculous thoughts.
I didn’t know how to face him today or what to tell him. I had asked him to wait for me, and that was still what I wanted. It wasn’t like I was instantly in love with him or anything, but I really wanted to be with him on a physical level.
“Really cruel move, Marie. Not cool.” She just smirked and rolled her eyes, but still kept on enjoying her coffee in front of me. She was looking at something on her iPad, but since I wasn’t allowed any connection with the outside world, I couldn’t even ask what was so interesting there.
Suddenly, I felt a tingling sensation on my neck and knew who was behind me.
“Marie, can I have some of that coffee you seem to enjoy so much?” His voice was deep and slightly husky, a sign that he was either aroused or had just woken up.
“Of course, honey.” She stood up and made him a cup.
“Traitor,” I murmured, and heard a chuckle behind my back. That brought a smile to my face. She went behind me to give him the mug, while he thanked her.
“Okay. I think I’ll go and phone my kids.” Within a minute, she was gone.
Well, crap, what should I do now? The situation seemed highly uncomfortable.
I heard him come closer, and then there was a soft touch on my neck that sent goose bumps all over my body.
“Hey,” he said softly, and I looked up. He was wearing a blue t-shirt. His black, shoulder-length hair was slightly out of place, as though all he’d done was run his fingers through it this morning. He had gray sweatpants on, which rested on his hips, and overall, he looked good enough to eat.
He was like coffee.
I craved him, but I knew it was bad for my health.
“Hi.” My voice was slightly raspy, and his eyes darkened. I knew what he was thinking about, and it wasn’t helping that I had the same thoughts running through my mind.
“Don’t think about it,” he finally said, but made no move to touch me again.
“I can’t help it.”
“Did you play without me?” I blinked at the sudden change of subject.
“No. You asked me not to.” Satisfaction flashed through his eyes and he smiled, making his dimples appear. God, was anyone able to resist that smile of his?
“Good girl.” I was about to make a fuss of his Cheshire cat smile when he extended his hand. “Come with me?”
I probably really shouldn’t do that. The best thing was to stay away from him, right? Yeah, right.
He took my hand in his and squeezed it lightly, tugging on it until I stood up. I was pulled into his chest and exhaled a breath. His eyes were intent on me with a softness I wasn’t used to, and I couldn’t help but stare at them. Raising his hand, his knuckles softly caressed my cheek. He then leaned down, and kissed me softly on the forehead. I held my breath, afraid to make the wrong move. He felt so safe, and with him, I didn’t have to think much. Finally, he moved back and smiled.
“Let’s go.” With those words, he took my hand again and pulled me in the direction of the basement, which I wasn’t even aware was there. Holding my hand all the way down the steps, he turned on the light as we reached the bottom. I looked around and gasped in shock.
I had never expected him to have this in his house.
It was a fully operational music studio.
It had soundproof walls and a room for recording that contained the newest technology. With Jeremy always bitching about how we should take care of our studio since it costs a fortune, I was well aware of the prices. The studio had a shiny, black piano, several acoustic and electric guitars, a keyboard, and drums. Not to mention microphones and the rest.
For most people, this room probably didn’t mean much.
But for a musician like me, it was Heaven, and reminded me of my recording days with the girls when we had cut our first album.
Or when we had gone to various studios and tried to make our talents known.
“Do you like it?” he finally asked and raised his brows in question. I could see he was uncomfortable with my silence and didn’t know what to make of it.
“Yes.” I finally found my voice, thank God for that. The guy knew how to render a female speechless, I would give him that. “It’s beautiful, but you probably know that.” Everything was so shiny and looked brand-new. As though no one had used it. “Why do you have it?”
He shrugged and sat on one of the chairs in the studio.
“I enjoy music and like to play sometimes. Since I have money, I thought why not have everything I want and need, right?” His voice was even and calm, like he’d practiced what he would say to me. I felt like there was more to the story, but I didn’t push it.
“So you are an artist at heart, huh?” He shrugged again and another realization made me frown. “I just realized I have no idea what you
do with yourself. What do you do for a living?” Whatever he did, it must pay well, if everything around me was anything to go by.
“I own a crisis management firm. When there is a problem, they hire me and I fix it for them, if I can. I usually can, though.” He grinned, and I just bet he could. The job suited him just fine.
“Well, must pay well, huh?”
“Enough.”
“Aren’t you too young for that?” Again, what the hell? I had no idea how old he was.
“I’m twenty-six. In any case, that might have been true, but I finished school when I was fifteen and went to college early. Finished in two and a half years, and then got my master’s.”
“A genius child then.” Well, shit, I got A’s in school, but still. It was one thing to be good, it was another to be extraordinary. He grimaced and ran his fingers through his hair. I noticed he always did that when he was uncomfortable with discussing something, or frustrated.
“I don’t like that term. Never did, actually.”
“Why? It’s an honor. Not many people have such talent.” Then that reminded me of something.
Or rather, of someone.
The memory I wanted to push out of my mind.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, and I had to snap out of the memories and try to smile, but I failed miserably.
“Nothing, it just reminded me of someone I used to know back in school.” He suddenly tensed, but then it was gone. It happened so quickly, I might have imagined the whole thing.
“First love?” he joked, and it earned him a real smile from me.
“Far from it.” I had no desire to talk about Ryan anymore. I felt enough guilt as it was over what I’d done to him, or rather the number I played on him. “So, what are we doing here?”
“We’re here to practice.”
“You just don’t give up, do you?” I thought that after my epic failed attempts I’d had with him, he wouldn’t do it again, but I guess I was wrong.
A sigh escaped my mouth and I went to the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To my room to get my guitar.” I took one step forward when his firm hand stopped me.
“There is no need for that.”
“What do you mean? You said practice, right? Well, I can’t without the guitar.” Not that I could with it, either, but that was another story. I had to have live music to practice my voice; it was important to me.
“I want you to practice today without it.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? It’s not like you have her during concerts.”
“Well, that’s true, but there is Sam, who plays for me. I won’t play on another guitar.” I gave him a stubborn look, because no way in hell would I betray Nick like that. He would say that—
I stopped my thoughts.
He wouldn’t say anything because he could no longer say anything.
“Bella, where did you go?” Nate asked softly, and I just shook my head. I didn’t want to talk about this.
“Nowhere.” He frowned but let it go, thank God. “So let me grab my guitar. We’re supposed to practice, right?”
“No, I will play for you.”
“What?”
“I can play music for you.”
“I’m not gonna practice my music. What if I choose something that you have no idea how to play?” A small smile appeared on his face.
“Let me worry about it, okay, sweetheart?”
Fine. Whatever.
He gestured to the inside of the soundproof room, where there was a microphone. I sat down on the stool and looked at him, confused, when he made no move to come closer to me.
“What song?”
“What?”
“What song do you want to sing? I need to choose the instrument.”
“You mean to tell me you can play on all those instruments there?” I tried to joke, but at his serious expression my smile disappeared and was replaced with awe. “Holy shit, really? You know how to play on all these instruments? How is that possible?” I mean, I knew it was possible, but it just seemed so out of the box for a guy for whom music wasn’t everything. It seemed weird and unbelievable at the same time. He cocked his head to the side and gave me a look.
“It’s not that uncommon, you know.”
“Yes it is. I don’t know that many people who can, and I mostly hang out with musicians.”
“Just because it wasn’t in your environment doesn’t make it uncommon.”
“You are such a nerd.” That made his eyes narrow.
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” He kept glaring at me, and I tried to control my laughter. Finally, a chuckle escaped me and I made a serious face. “Okay then, Mr. Know-it-all.” Before I could continue, he stopped me.
“I don’t know it all. Even Socrates said he didn’t know shit.” Realizing what he’d just said, both of us kept our eyes on each other until we burst into laughter. I hooted so hard I had to hold my stomach. As I raised my hand to brush tears from my eyes, it dawned on me.
I hadn’t laughed since Nick had died. This was the first time it had happened. I took a deep breath and quickly tried to cover my tears with my hand, but Nate stopped me. We looked at each other, and I gave him a wobbly smile.
“Thank you,” I whispered. He just nodded as he held my face in his hands, gently wiping my tears with his thumbs.
“There is more.”
He was right, wasn’t he? There was more laughter out there; I just needed to be open to the possibility of it.
Was it possible to still feel happiness, to still have a genuine laughter?
“Yes,” Nate whispered in my ear. I had no idea. . . did I say it out loud? Or did he just guess my thoughts?
Either way, his answer seemed good enough.
Ryan
She was so beautiful and vulnerable at the same time.
I finally heard the laugh I’d missed so much. She reminded me of the girl I had fallen in love with.
The moment she realized what had happened, vulnerability and guilt washed over her face. And surprise, too.
Nick was gone, and that hurt. He was one of my best friends, and he would be missed. I had done my fair share of grieving in the first few months he was gone. I was angry, and couldn’t believe that death had taken away one of the best men I ever knew.
Life moved on, though, and Nick wouldn’t want us to live in the past.
But she was still alive, and I wanted her happy.
My lips longed to kiss her, but it wasn’t about that right now. There would be enough time once she came back.
Not yet. With a last brush of her soft skin, I let her go and raised my brow in question.
“So, sweetheart, which song do you want to sing?”
She was silent for a while, and then raised her arms in exasperation.
“I have no idea. I don’t care which one.”
“Well, make a choice anyway.” She hopped on the stool near the microphone and stared at it for a while before finally turning her head back to me.
“Bruno Mars ‘When I was your man.’”
“Excuse me?”
“I want to sing that song.”
“Why?” I never expected her to sing that. I thought it would be some old-school rock.
“I like it. Do you know how to play it?” Yeah, I did. It was a beautiful song and, yeah, I was a guy and wasn’t ashamed to admit it.
I nodded and sat at the piano. I started by checking the tuning, and once that was done, I raised my eyes to her.
“Are you ready?” She smiled, but I could see fear in her eyes. She grabbed the mic and took a deep breath.
I started to play the intro to the song and felt pleasure rush through me. Of all the instruments I could play, the piano was my favorite and allowed me to calm my nerves.
Then she started to sing, and her breath hitched at some of the lyrics.
I closed my eyes. Her voice was raspy and a little out of tune. It shook a lit
tle bit because it hadn’t been used as much recently, but it was still beautiful. Her fists were clenched tight. I understood why she’d chosen that song.
Maybe it was about the guy who lost his girl, but some lyrics could be applied to her loss. She remembered the lyrics well, and before I knew it, we were at the end of the song.
Her voice took a higher note and then it finished softly. There were tears in her eyes, and she was breathing hard. I sat there in silence, because she needed that moment.
She’d done it.
It wasn’t her best performance---in fact, probably one of her worst. Her voice was nothing like it used to be, and she needed more practice to come back. That wasn’t the point, though. It was the start for her new beginning.
I knew she would do it without the guitar. She had to learn to live on her own. She couldn’t have Nick’s ghost everywhere with her, and that was what the old instrument represented for her.
Not that she realized it yet.
She stood, and as she came closer, our eyes locked. She leaned down and took my face in her hands, pressing her lips to mine in a gentle and chaste kiss. I didn’t make a move to touch her as she pressed her forehead against mine. I could feel her breath on my cheeks.
“Thank you.” We were so close that her lips brushed mine when she spoke. Our eyes were closed, and I just absorbed the moment.
Finally, she let go of me and took a step back.
“I need to go,” she said, and before I could say anything, she ran away from the studio.
I let her, like I always did.
He was standing there again. I felt kind of sorry for him. I mean, I knew he was Nick’s friend and they kept in touch, but he seemed so out of place here. He was wearing a suit that was a bit big for his size. Those big glasses of his looked huge on his face, and he had to put them back in place all the time because they slid down his nose. His hair was messy, but cut short. It was sticky with some kind of gel, too, probably to keep it in place, but all it did was give him some weird look.