Brothers On Life

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by Mike Czuchry


  We pull others down to ordinary with us

  Delaying enlightenment

  Facilitating ignorance

  All in an effort to remain the same

  DESCARTES’ DREAM

  The spirit of mathematics

  Can explain

  My soul

  Exists

  JESUS’ LAST BREATH

  You and I

  Just shared Jesus’ last breath

  And this is the beauty of our connectedness

  COSMIC COMMUNICATIONS: PROLOGUE

  After reading Brian Greene’s “Fabric of the Cosmos” cover to cover twice, I am constantly moved by the notion of “spooky action at a distance.” The principle states fundamental atoms of the universe once thought separate can be entangled regardless of the distance between them. Imagine if this theory was indeed proven true throughout all universes?

  COSMIC COMMUNICATIONS

  Consider this

  Perhaps it is possible

  To leave a trace

  Of us

  Beyond our own universe

  Even if their galaxies do not share the same laws, like gravity

  Perhaps

  A cluster of signature atoms can indeed be arranged

  Analogous to a crop circle

  Connecting us to other universes

  Like spooky action at a distance

  To leave a trace

  That in fact

  We once existed

  For my brother Mike.

  LIKE A SUPERHERO

  On your back

  I will fly

  Arms outspread

  Pretending

  To soar

  And your shoulders

  Are enough to carry my weight

  For this life

  And beyond

  ARTISTIC EXPRESSION: PROLOGUE

  Dear Matt,

  Listening to “Rise from the Shadows” by Alberta Cross and thinking of our spiritual road trip across the Icefields Parkway and on to Lake Peyto in the summer of 2010. A life changing moment.

  Love you,

  Mike.

  ARTISTIC EXPRESSION

  Sometimes painters capture a moment better than reality can

  Expressing

  A timeless consciousness that we all share

  Capturing

  The sadness you feel

  The urge to pull the trigger found in a million itchy fingers

  The rage

  The hate

  The grief

  The fear

  The happiness

  We all feel this, all of this

  Again and again

  Like an old scratched-out vinyl record

  This does not mean one’s actions have been without purpose just because we are all so similar

  Perhaps all of our emotions mean more within the collective than they ever could within one individual

  I will say it again

  Thank Buddha

  Thank God

  Thank all the painters

  Thank The Beatles

  Thanks to all who have captured and created our collective

  For Dad.

  NIGHT LIGHT

  Dad

  Keep the night light on

  For me

  Please

  Glowing

  I need those halos of light

  Cutting through the night

  Protecting me from fear

  Like a security blanket wrapped around my soul

  Check under the bed

  Make me believe

  No monsters are underneath the bed frame

  With their furry blue hair and sharp orange fangs

  Ready to pounce on me

  I need these white lights left on

  Just as much as I need you

  Nothing can protect me

  From these monsters dancing in my head

  Like your courage

  And a light left on when you leave

  PAINT ON WINDOWS: PROLOGUE

  Europe, 2007.

  I arrive at the airport bags in hand to find my niece in the back seat of the car. Her left eye is swollen shut, her eyelid blood red and popped out as large as a golf ball. This is far from normal. To the hospital we go. Two kids and three adults. The kids thinking nothing more than their Uncle Matt is here from the United States to play Chutes and Ladders. When my niece and her golf ball eye look my direction, she smiles brightly as if to say, “My eye is quite pretty, don’t you think?” And I respond, “Looks like you got bitten by a giant mosquito over there. Darling, that bug probably popped after it sucked your eyelid dry.” She laughs bold and bright. But, the adults know this is no mosquito bite. This is serious. This may be life and death. Toward the hospital we speed 50, 60, 70, 80mph...

  PAINT ON WINDOWS

  Caterpillar paint on hospital windows

  Butterfly paint too

  We pay to enter

  The little one gives me a smile for free

  And a dance to boot

  Beds made up

  One for me

  One for mother and child

  Make it all beautiful

  Blankets firm and taught, the little one says

  My eye is swollen shut, you see

  And yet I can still laugh at you

  Still I smile at you

  Two more nights sleeping here

  Then back home to play on slides tomorrow, she says

  I am brave, she says

  One hamburger, one cheeseburger to calm my nerves, she says

  Simple things, big things

  How do we divide the two

  When thinking of dying

  We must live every last second quick

  Again on our way

  Down these hospital halls

  Hoping today is cleaner, fresher

  So that our next day is louder, brighter

  I will take you on my back

  I will hold your hand

  I promise I will protect your shadows that dance in the sun

  All words spoken on the way

  I believe them, she believes them

  Our hands intertwine

  Big and little

  Big things, little things

  I do not divide the two

  We make our way down the halls

  Stumbling on little chairs that line the walls

  Believing the other is love so perfect

  Even in the face of this struggle

  We are safe

  Our stinky feet and dirty toes enough to guide us

  Guide us to the door

  The door where others take my girl

  Whisk her away, for you never have enough time

  And now tubes take the place of my hands

  As her care is no longer mine to give

  Doors close

  My mind drifts

  I say to myself

  No hospital can hold us

  No needle can make us sad

  For we are endless imagination

  We are caterpillar paint on windows today

  Yearning one day to be beautiful and fly free

  A THOUSAND DREAMS: PROLOGUE

  Vienna, 2007.

  My agent calls to tell me “Gilmore Girls” has been cancelled. In the same breath she casually mentions I have not been cast in a movie I desperately wanted. I was in Europe trying my best to enjoy life and in the span of one call my career was turned on its head. Although I had my moments of doubt and battles with sorrow for sure, I believed that I was still on the right track with my aspirations. I knew my self deeply, I knew my soul, I knew my worth, and that calmed me. Even in this most challenging of moments, I knew I could work hard and survive this uncertain time. So why not dream a thousand dreams?

  A THOUSAND DREAMS

  Why not dream a thousand dreams

  Of the true self I desire to become

  Why not allow greatness to seep into my soul

  To build fantasies upon fantasies

  All in an effo
rt to exceed the confines of my mind

  Why not me

  To be brilliant

  To be free

  To become my dreams in reality

  In my imagination I have no chains

  No end to my beliefs

  I am boundless opportunity

  King’s castles in the clouds

  Dragons for me to slay

  As I become my favorite superhero

  Flying free

  Overcoming my vulnerability

  No obstacle tall enough to derail me

  No worry large enough to shake me

  Magic in my bones

  All conjured up through the electrical sparks of my brain

  If I have to dream a thousand dreams to make this imagination become me

  I will keep dreaming until sleep becomes me

  Because

  I believe

  Life is indeed limitless possibility

  Life is a dream made reality

  HURRICANES

  Brace yourself against the wind

  And even when faced with hurricanes

  Smoke that last cigarette

  THE GREATEST: PROLOGUE

  Listening to Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind” with a touch of whisky by my side.

  THE GREATEST

  In the beginning

  Your new born fingers in my palms

  I would whisper in your ear

  You can be everything

  The sun, the sky, the stars, the moon

  Piercing every moment of darkness

  With the greatness of your heart

  Cradling you in my arms

  I would always think to myself

  I will be the inspiration that makes you more than you

  Make you the greatest

  Never realizing

  From the beginning

  I was the one placing shackles on your mind

  Inhibiting your light that I desired all to see

  Now I see

  You must let go of me

  Break free

  It’s okay

  You can be without me

  And still be everything for me

  Just be

  Shining bright enough out there for me to see

  Becoming everything I ever wanted you to be

  Believe in me

  All you need is to be free of me

  To become

  The greatest

  SEEING ILLUSIONS: PROLOGUE

  One of the deepest relationships in my life was with a woman who has Stargardt’s disease, a genetic eye disease that causes deterioration of the retina over time eventually leading to blindness. To compensate for her lack of sight, her brain fills in her vision of the world with information it thinks exists; even if in reality, the images are false. The result is a profound vision of life that is created through a mix of beautiful illusions, creativity, and the discovery of deep truths.

  SEEING ILLUSIONS

  Life like a prism

  Our eyes, our brain

  Creating reality

  From a patchwork of electromagnetic energy

  Your eyes

  A bit different than most

  Shaping reality from holes and incomplete light

  Your brain

  Compensating, adding, fabricating

  Filling in the missing pieces from the blind spots

  Your eyes, your brain

  Together

  Nurturing, fulfilling

  A kaleidoscopic view of twisted reality

  Mixes of illusions, truths, magic, and fantasy

  Unreal or real

  Who cares

  You create life as it could be

  You create life as it should be

  Beyond merely capturing light from rods and cones

  To creating and discovering the unseen

  Rocking the fabrics of our beings to the core

  Changing identities, essences, and beliefs

  Like Alice in Wonderland

  Yet no LSD on your tongue

  Unlocking a door

  Walking into a mystery

  Powered only by imagination

  Your eyes, your brain

  Shaping a psychedelic symphony

  Beyond the hearing of notes

  To the seeing of colors

  Blues, reds, and greens

  And on to new hues undefined previously in all of history

  In your eyes life itself emerges

  Truths abstracted

  Absolutes uncovered

  Boundaries broken

  And what do we call this new vision

  All so much more than the simply seen

  Unintentionalism

  Real or unreal

  Who cares

  A word created by us

  To define these stumbled upon truths

  And serendipitous adventures

  All actualized by your view

  Your eyes like no other

  Your brain like no other

  Your vision like no other

  Your world like no other

  I wish everyone could see

  Like you

  CLUES

  Nothing is ever as it seems

  Things once thought impossible by geniuses yesterday

  Are commonplace today

  A LIGHT IN GANESHA: PROLOGUE

  Ganesha. A Hindu deity revered as the Remover of Obstacles and Lord of Beginnings.

  A LIGHT IN GANESHA

  My eyes are open

  Today

  Strange things have come to me

  Once in a dream

  Twice as doubt

  And a third time as reality

  I now believe the greatest things once thought impossible

  Are indeed possible

  As you remove these obstacles from my mind

  The world will move again

  Tomorrow

  Back to normal

  Sun up

  Sun down

  Life will carry on

  New obstacles will be reborn in my mind

  But

  I with purity

  Move one foot in front of the other

  I trust

  That a path not there before

  Will soon appear below my feet

  As I walk

  I place honey into my mouth

  To sweeten my tongue

  I know I must be kind in this moment

  For people with doubt surround me

  And claw at my beliefs

  But

  I remain calm

  Knowing every man is a holy man

  Blessing us on street corners with their tongues and fables

  We only need to be wise to it

  Eyes open

  And treat them as if they too were Gods

  I understand this new light within me

  Rebirth

  Renewal

  Remover of Obstacles

  I believe the greatest things once thought impossible

  Are indeed possible

  Sun up

  Sun down

  Obstacles come

  And this too shall pass

  No matter the doubt around me

  My eyes remain open

  Strange things have come to me

  Once in a dream

  Twice as doubt

  And a third time as reality

  ACT II

  TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN: SIDE ONE

  In the end

  Nothing really happens

  All of our actions

  Swallowed up

  Because of the universe

  The pain

  The anguish

  Replaced

  By darkness on all sides

  Erasing

  Us

  TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN: SIDE TWO

  In the end

  Everything happens

  All of our actions

  Expand outward

  Because of the universe

  The joy

&nbs
p; The brilliance

  Magnified

  By the sun from all sides

  Nothing could ever erase

  Us

  THE YIN AND YANG OF DRINKING

  They say drinking is bad

  But Dean Martin felt sorry for those who never drank

  Because he said, each morning they woke up and that was the best they could hope to feel all day

  And it is true

  Drinking has killed a few

  It could kill me

  It may kill you

  Yet

  It is not clear whether it is the drink that traps or frees you

  Sometimes I suppose

  The drink does both

  But

  How many years have you truly lived

  The answer may surprise you

  I would rather risk death to live

  Than fear life and die anyway

  WRONGS AND RIGHTS

  Like when dreaming

  And suddenly

  Waking to the confusion of the morning light

  I can’t figure out

  All of these wrongs and these rights

  When living as a child sneaking around corners past your bedtime

  You might catch something beautiful

  Like your dad praying on his knees

  Rosary beads wrapped around his wrists

  Or when living as an adult doing something foolish

  You might find something breathtaking

  Like true love

  To me it seems

  These wrongs always turn into rights

  And my rights are perfectly forgettable

  Like when dreaming

  And suddenly

  Waking to the confusion of the morning light

  I can’t figure out

  All of these wrongs and these rights

  PANDORA’S BOX

  With naiveté as my most powerful weapon

  I step forward

  Making choices

  Intending to save the world with passion

  One tiny step

  Sends pebbles rocketing throughout the universe

  One justified calculation

  Sends my theories into chaos

  These doors now opened

  Cannot be closed

  These actions taken

  Cannot be undone

 

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