Brothers On Life

by Mike Czuchry

And this is now

  You are but a mere reflection

  In a distant sea

  And I long not for you

  Never again will I wish to explore your ebbs and tides

  Who is new that I will love again

  I know not

  Who will make me shine

  Who will make my toes curl with excitement

  I hope for it

  I fear finding it

  I yearn for it

  I don’t know if I will ever be ready for it

  When thinking of who I am in totality

  Which time within me truly matters the most

  The past, the now, the future

  Life is all the moments that well up in our beings

  No moment, no time

  Is more important than the last

  No kiss that has ever touched our lips

  Is less than those still undiscovered

  No stranger means less than those that love us

  And even the ones who break our hearts

  Still claim shattered pieces throughout our bodies forever

  In life all of it matters

  Everything matters

  Everyone matters

  The past, the now, the future

  All woven together

  To create

  Thyself

  BENT

  I lost myself

  Within you

  From the very first moment I met you

  My life slipped into you

  And I bent my existence

  Far too much for you

  I admit

  It was all me and not you

  I let you do all you tend to do

  Because I desired you

  I simply lost sight of what was what

  And who was who

  Now

  I wonder if I could bend time

  And twist the rules

  Could I begin again with you

  And yet not be owned by you

  Because

  I do want you

  I still want you

  But just the right amount of you

  For that awkward thirteen year old within us all.

  LETTERS

  When you are near

  I wish I could

  Speak

  But I can’t

  Your beauty

  Is too much for me to bear

  Please keep megaphones away from my lips

  I don’t want my vocal cords to be tempted

  Tempted by you

  To scream out

  All the love I have to give you

  Trust me

  I feel my heart bursting for you

  Through my chest

  And on to the floor

  Every single time

  I see any little piece of you

  I promise you

  One day

  You will find

  A thousand letters

  Strewn across my floor

  All revealing

  Everything that was felt for you but never spoken

  Music from Queen on in the background.

  CAPSIZED

  Adrift

  In a sea of emotions

  Waves pulsing through me

  Sometimes wishing they succeed in breaking me

  Is there more admiration for he who clutches on until saved

  Or he who pushes off into uncertainty

  Even if we desire our endings to be magnificent

  Our demise may not capture these wishes

  Whether it’s this wave or the next

  When feeling capsized

  Water will always take our last breath

  IN THE MOURNING

  I see you in my dreams

  Even in my fantasies

  I can’t escape us

  I continue to live a lie

  I belong to you

  Yet I live as if I belong elsewhere

  And I know you too are lost

  Nowhere

  Like Eleanor Rigby

  But I will be there

  Mourning us

  BETTER BY YOU

  Maybe I could have made it work

  Some fools do

  Regardless

  I know I could have done better by you

  PATHWAYS: PROLOGUE

  February 20th, 2011, 1:30 a.m.

  Listening to John Lennon’s “Mind Games.”

  PATHWAYS

  Many of us wish

  We had more than one life to live

  Even a million

  Because each storyline we changed

  Or failed to follow

  Could have been seen through

  Even better to rewind and reset buttons

  Correcting our imperfections

  While contributing to the well-being of those we loved

  Felt ambivalent toward

  Or even hated

  But perhaps

  Life has meaning

  Because we must live with all of our faults

  And the bittersweet reality

  That none of us

  Got it just quite right

  ACT III

  EXPERIENCES

  Only in having the courage

  To taste

  To feel

  To try

  Can you know

  What it truly means to live

  FLUSH

  Flush

  Through your veins

  The rush of your most perfect day

  Don’t judge it, bask in it

  Leave it

  Untouched by that sour part of you

  Let it

  Slowly baptize

  And convert

  Each cell

  Each atom

  That comprise you

  If only for a moment

  Innocence remains

  A BEAUTIFUL LIFE

  A beautiful life

  Is many lives

  Led within one

  So choose

  From the gut

  And

  Move on

  And

  Live

  Over and over

  Again and again

  BLISS

  When things

  Are most dim

  Touch your skin

  Trace slowly

  Over your nerve endings

  Then realize

  No one else is feeling this

  It is a unique experience

  So tickle yourself to bliss

  CONNECTED

  Atoms twirl in tune with the universe

  I sense I could tune into you

  And expand myself a step closer to eternity

  A cosmic blend of you and me

  To relish a reality beyond comprehension

  To know that we are really one

  And the craziest idea is we are separated

  By distance, by thoughts, by beliefs, by skin

  All we need is to tap into the never ending surge of energies

  Where atoms and planets and the entire universe

  Weave together and connect like inseparable threads

  Creating a grand tapestry

  Blurring the lines of identity

  No you nor I, just we

  BOTTLE IT UP

  Bottle it up

  This moment to remember

  Tangled up in bliss with you

  We lie in peace, full, perfection

  The madness around us simply echoes

  Echoes that reverberate off the skyscrapers

  And then stop still at the foot of our bed

  This quiet you instill

  Makes me see

  The world is more beautiful when you are near

  With every beat of life

  You make me feel the joy of living

  No doubts in me now

  Love is everything

  All that matters

  And will prevail long after my time has come

  For we are from

  The same earth

  The same sunr />
  The same God

  The same soul

  Bottle it up

  The beauty

  Passion

  Touches

  Scents

  My enlightenment

  Scoop it all up

  Our love

  Fill all the glass bottles along the mantle

  Fill every last one

  Fill them to the tippy top

  Our love will spill over

  Unable to be held down by the rounded plastic caps

  Let it

  Let it

  Trickle down the rippling glass sides

  Down the fireplace

  Into the cracks in the floorboard

  To reach Hell below

  Turning all those devils with horns and tridents

  Into angels with halos and wings

  I need not believe in God

  To know

  You are love’s answer to evil

  NEW DRESS

  The way you wear that dress

  I must confess

  I am powerless

  I thank the sun

  For revealing

  Everything

  That little gap that brings in the light

  Is such a wonderful delight

  And breasts

  Ridiculous

  All I ask is

  Wrap me up with a kiss

  I LOVE

  I love every freckle on your skin

  I love how your red hair turns golden in the sun

  I love how you snore in the night

  I love how you wear those jeans with nothing underneath

  I love how you embrace me with your body wrapped around mine

  I love how you smile or cry depending on any animal’s well-being

  I love how you like the oddest looking things

  Like me

  I love how any imperfection becomes perfection in your eyes

  I love how you make me appreciate me

  I love that you have given me this chance to know you

  I love how you have helped me conquer my fears

  I love how you hug me even when my tears are random

  I love you

  Loving me

  MAGNIFICENT

  Sometimes it takes facing death

  To finally listen to life

  To know today

  Is my only chance

  To shine and be magnificent

  THE DREAMCATCHER: PROLOGUE

  I wrote this for a father and daughter. The daughter has gone through several major surgeries and on each occasion her attitude has always been through struggle comes strength.

  THE DREAMCATCHER

  Kisses on foreheads

  Kisses on hearts

  Kisses on wrists

  Kisses on palms and on the back of hands too

  Holding hands

  We walk

  Together

  Bound

  By everything that may come our way

  Walking through the twists

  Stumbling through the turns

  Nicking our toes on pebbles

  Scratching our knees on tree limbs

  Bandage us up

  With cartoon Band-Aids

  And finish us off with warm lips to the skin

  All raising the hairs on our tiny little arms with joy

  And we move on

  Through struggle

  Comes strength

  I once was told

  And even though the blood seeps

  Ever so slightly through the cartoon faces on our bandages

  We move on

  Hand and hand

  So bandage me up

  I am ready

  I say it aloud again

  I am ready

  Bags packed

  Armed with

  Kisses on foreheads

  Kisses on hearts

  Kisses on wrists

  Kisses on palms and on the back of hands too

  Armed with

  Your hand clasped in mine

  THE LIGHTHOUSE

  I don’t have many moments left to spare for these thoughts

  Lingering over words will only delay my emotion for you

  So quickly I gather my quills, my wits, my limericks

  All bound up together and etched across the accents of burnt paper

  I move swiftly with the ink

  For these hours creep up on me

  These fingers, these bones, these tendons grow tired from my demands

  As the hands of time do not move backwards

  In time

  Cities will crumble

  These lights will flicker, one last burst before the dawn

  And silence will prevail

  But now

  As in the beginning

  And in the end

  You are a lighthouse

  When the fog blurs your pupils

  And the rocks cut your toes

  When the darkness covers your soul

  And doubt prevails

  When the ocean tumbles over the walls of your heart

  And people around you betray you

  When the ground sways beneath you

  And welcomes intended are instead quite lonely

  Remember

  You are a lighthouse

  You are

  A light and a home

  Glorious

  And guidance

  Hope

  And comfort

  For me

  For yourself

  And for others

  You are a lighthouse

  Even when the beams from our eyes dim

  And our souls rise

  When looking down from above

  We will see

  Still existing below

  A lighthouse

  Shining

  Bursting

  Lighting

  Guiding

  Teaching

  Loving

  Smiling

  Igniting

  And as waves crash around me

  Quickly, I force the burnt papers inside my cloudy glass bottle

  Send them across The Atlantic

  For you, to you, about you

  And reaching

  You

  Reaching

  Reaching

  Reaching

  The lighthouse

  THE DOC: PROLOGUE

  New York City, June 2011.

  This is written for a dear friend, a deeply spiritual man, who is facing open-heart surgery today.

  THE DOC

  If I never said it enough

  I say it all now

  With silence

  Simply

  My heart is open for you

  To see

  That beating life is precious

  And one ought to be generous

  With time

  With people

  With love

  Coins are not currency

  They are blessings

  Beyond value held in this world

  And honey

  Shall not be taken for granted

  Each drop shall be savored

  For it is the sweetness of life that matters

  I may weep

  My eyes will soon dry

  I may fall

  I will rise

  And it is life

  That we must truly live

  Not because of death

  But because of life itself

  With each beat of our hearts

  We must live

  With each movement of our souls

  We must know there is something greater than us

  Charleston, South Carolina, 2011.

  SWEET TOOTH

  And for birthdays

  Candles

  Cakes

  And icing on my fingertips and lips

  Sugar cones and orange soda

  And all the innocence of youth spills throughout me

  And for age

  Over time my heart and bones ache

 
It’s okay

  My older hands slip around the curves of your body

  And I remain a child always in your embrace

  Still tangled up in the buzz of my youth

  And for tongues

  So many things left unsaid

  If I could I would say it all

  Enough said

  And for love

  Just give me five hours

  A beach

  A touch of salt water sprinkled on your skin

  Some whiskey

  And the sweet smell of flowers in your hair

  And I will find a way to dance my way into your heart

  MY THINGS

  All these material things

  I have collected

  Are indeed immaterial

  You can pile them up

  And float them to the sky

  When I am gone

  My mark will be left

  In hearts

  In sand

  In the eyes of my children

  When my body slips into the earth

  Others will stay

  To collect my things

  My many things

  You can pile them up

  And float them to the sky

  All these things

  These many things

  We can do without

  THE CLOCK

  Tick tock

  The time you have left

  Isn’t much

  No matter how hard we push against the clock

  Eventually the cacophony of heartbeats

  Will clash like a rusty tambourine

  Seize

  Block

  Bleed

  God and nature working together

  Both busy

  Little by little

  Erasing us to dust

  So armor up

  Ready your souls

  For the battle of life

  Tick tock

  The time you have left

  Isn’t much

  END TO END

  I have high hopes of getting older

  Most say life gets harder with age

  But it also gets grander, more real

  Real at both ends

  On one

  Fear

  The other

  Peace

  End to end

  Every bit of it, all of it

  Real

  Will the fear tear us apart

  Or will it birth humble perspective

  I have high hopes

  Of getting older

  That as we move closer to the end

  Life will become clearer

  As we rediscover the peace of that child within

  SHEDDING TEARS

  I am shedding tears tonight

  For dictators and heroes alike