“I did already, you just don’t want to hear it. He is in love with you Teagan. Why can’t you see that? And you’re in love with him.” It wasn’t said as a question, and that bothered me. I didn’t like people to tell me how I felt, dictate my emotions to me, not even Harley.
“Like how you’re halfway in love with Damien?” I shot back. Her mouth twisted, her regal features turning into a sour mask. Bull’s-eye. It bothered her to have the tables turned around on her, and I should have felt triumphant to get a good salvo in, but it just made me feel small and mean. I knew Harley’s philosophy on life, and where I wasn’t as strict about my life as she was with hers, I understood that I couldn’t have made a worse statement to dig at her with.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. This is not about you and Damien.” I apologized, hating the look on her face.
She set down the plate in her hand with the roast on it, took the dishrag off her shoulder and set it on the counter, her movements deliberate. She wouldn’t look at me.
“You right, it’s not, but I don’t think I want to be around you right now.” She said quietly. She took a deep breath and left the kitchen, her back straight and head held high; the Indian princess to the tips of her fingers.
“Harley…” I got up, my hand out to her, but she just put up her hand in a “stop” gesture. I watched helplessly as she went to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
My eyes started to tear up and I pinched the bridge of my nose viciously. Gods, what a mess this was turning out to be. If I had Padraigan in front of me right now, I would take insane pleasure in cutting his head off with a butcher knife. He was the cause of all this discord. If he hadn’t gone after Gareth and Anna, if he hadn’t dragged Damien into this, if he hadn’t turned Noah’s sister…there were a lot of if’s, but the realization occurred to me that if he hadn’t done all that he had, I would have never met Anna, or Gareth.
I would have never met Noah.
The thought of that bothered me more than I thought it could. My heart gave a spasm at the thought of never seeing him, the pain making me gasp. It was always this way with Noah, and the thought of him; every feeling I had about him was extreme, a hundred times more than any man had ever made me feel.
I walked out of the kitchen, moved robotically to my room. I went through the motions of getting ready for bed, even though it was only eight o’clock. I lay back in bed, the television on but lowered. I stared unseeing at the screen, my thoughts far from the room I was in. Before I knew it, I was asleep.
I came awake with a start, my heart racing in my chest. I looked around my room, trying to find the cause of the noise that had me flying up out of sleep. The glow from the television cast flickering shadows that made it hard for me to make out the entire room, so I reached for the lamp.
I stopped in mid-reach as the voice floated out of the darkness.
“Oh leave it off, will you? The darkness makes it more interesting.”
My skin crawled with revulsion and my heart became a trip-hammer as Padraigan’s voice rolled over me, fear holding me hostage with my hand frozen in mid-air. I didn’t want to look over my shoulder, didn’t want to see his disgusting presence defiling my sanctuary.
“You’ve done well, witch, protecting yourself. I wonder what is different tonight. What could you have possibly forgotten to do before going to bed that would keep me out?”
His voice was silky, sensual, and it sent shivers of disgust down my back. Mentally, I was cursing myself. I knew what I had forgotten to do and I could have cheerfully killed myself and saved Padraigan the time and effort.
Completely distraught over Noah and Harley, I had forgotten the most basic of protection; casting my room in a protective circle. There were protective wards on the house itself, but since my night flight at Anna and Gareth’s, I had taken to casting an additional protective circle on my room at night, for this very reason.
I didn’t hear him move, but I could feel the bed dip suddenly as his weight came down on it. I heard the whimper escape from me and hated myself for it. If he wanted to kill me, now was the perfect time.
“I don’t want to kill you Teagan, I want to torture Gareth and Noah. If I avail myself of your charms in the meantime, that’s just a double bonus for me.” His cold hand pulled my hair back and exposed my neck. I had to do something, or else he was going to take me.
“I thought you were gay. Could you even get it up for me?” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them, and they were dripping with good old sarcasm. It didn’t quite have the effect I wanted though. He flipped me over nonchalantly, his deep chuckle blowing in my face as he positioned himself above me. I tried to knee him, though what good that would have done was beyond me, and he laughed some more, pitching his voice low.
His hands pinned my arms down to the mattress, and he put all his weight on them, pressing down painfully. My arms felt as though they were going to break; the pain was excruciating, but I could only whimper.
“My dear Teagan, I could get it up for anyone, especially you. I’m going to enjoy this even more than I would have with your friend Anna.”
His head descended towards mine slowly, and I turned my face into the mattress, trying to avoid what was coming. Helplessness washed over me as I realized I was totally at his mercy, of which there was none. I tried calling out to Harley, but she was sound asleep, her mind closed down. I needed Noah, but I had never opened myself to him. It was a vulnerability that I didn’t want to expose myself to, but I had no choice.
Noah! Help me!
I flooded my mind with his image, reached out with my entire being towards him. At the same time I thrashed my head back and forth, trying to prevent Padraigan’s lips from touching me, viciously clenching my legs closed, scissoring him between them in a sick parody of desire. I couldn’t do much to him, but I had to stall his movements somehow.
“Oh, so you do want to play. I can gladly accommodate you.” With a smooth move, he flipped me over and brought himself down on top of me again, this time not waiting for the thrill of toying with me. He raked my hair out of the way and plunged his fangs into my neck.
I bucked uncontrollably, my body fighting against the intrusion. Scream after scream pealed from my throat as he began drawing my life out of my body.
Teagan!
I heard Noah in my head the split second before he came crashing through the door. Padraigan withdrew from my neck with a hiss, and suddenly his weight was off my back. With a sob I flipped over, only to see Noah and Padraigan facing off at the foot of my bed. Wind whipped the curtains at my open window and I cursed myself a fool. I had left that stupid window unlocked.
Padraigan was settled in a fighting crouch, fangs bared theatrically. Noah had a smile on his face, his stance casual. His arms were crossed over his broad chest, a smirk on his face. He didn’t even look at me.
“Preying on helpless women again Padraigan? You’re such a coward.”
Still in his crouch, weaving like the snake that he was, Padraigan hissed again. With a detached mind, I realized that he had my blood running down his chin. Hysterical laughter was building in me, threatening to boil over. Goddess, was I going to become what Gemma was? A vampire in flux, never to be turned completely? My vision started to flicker at the edges.
The two men stared each other down, Padraigan never leaving his crouch.
“What can you do to me, sorcerer? I’m more powerful than you could ever be.” Padraigan growled, but he made no move toward Noah. I knew that he could call lightning, and direct it through his hands. He had blown a hole in Gareth that had been the size of a Louisville Slugger, and it had taken him a good month to recover from it.
Something was stopping him, and Noah knew it.
“At full strength, you may be stronger than me. But I know that you’re hurting, still recovering from the damage we did the last time you bothered us.” Noah’s voice was steel, his expression hard.
Padraigan growled
again, but his eyes never strayed from Noah’s.
When Noah attacked, I didn’t realize it until Padraigan flew backward out of the window. One second he was standing there, arms crossed, and then the next second fire was exploding from his fingertips, his arms extended toward Padraigan’s shifting form. His aim was only slightly off, and caught Padraigan in the arm as he twisted toward the window, the force of the fire knocking him outside.
Noah ran to the window and approached it cautiously, making sure that Padraigan wasn’t hovering outside, but he was gone. Noah brought the window crashing down with too much force, and it made me jump. He twisted the lock viciously, as though the window was to blame for Padraigan’s visit, and not my own stupidity.
He turned toward me, his hard façade crumbling as he took in my disheveled state. His eyes lost their glittery coldness and his hands started to shake.
“Oh my God, Teagan, what did he do to you?” He was on the bed and next to me before I could fully comprehend that it was over. He raised a hand to brush back my hair from the wound on my neck, and I could see the tremors running through him like a low-grade electrical current.
“What happened?” Harley ran into the room and skidded to a halt, her eyes growing wide at the sight of me bleeding on the bed.
“Harley, do you have a first aid kit?” Noah asked, not taking his eyes from my neck. I could feel his hands probing gently at the edges of the puncture wounds and I winced, though he was being as tender as his shaking hands would allow.
“In my bathroom Harley, under the sink.” I answered for her, my voice none too steady and she nodded mutely, turning quickly to retrieve it.
My senses were heightened by the adrenaline surging through me and I could hear her digging through the mess that was my vanity, murmuring to herself. I could feel Noah’s breath on the sensitive skin at my neck as he tried to see the damage that Padraigan had done.
Harley came back to the bedside and sat on the edge, reaching over to turn on the bedside light.
“A little light might help, don’t you think?” Her voice was a calm port in a stormy sea, and both Noah and I reacted to it. Noah took a deep breath and gathered himself. A dangerous sense of calm settled over me that was probably the onset of shock, but I would take it if it meant my body would stop trying to shake itself apart.
Harley and Noah worked quickly to clean and dress the wound, taking care not to hurt me too much. I sat passive, staring at a spot on my wall. I wasn’t letting myself think about what happened because if I did, all the loathing I felt for myself at the moment would come crushing down on me. How could I let myself be so stupid? Easy-I was distracted by Noah, and to an extent, Harley. Harley and I wouldn’t have been fighting if it weren’t for Noah, so in my befuddled state I put all the blame on Noah’s shoulders.
For the first time since Padraigan had gone out the window I turned my head and looked at Noah. It was a hard thing to do because his head was right next to mine, so I shrugged out from underneath his hands. They hung there for a moment, as if he was shocked that I moved.
“Harley, could you finish up? Noah, I need you to leave.” I spoke quietly but I leaned farther away from him, turning my head away from his pained look. I could feel him trying to breach my mind, pushing gently to gain entry to my thoughts and I closed my mind like a steel trap, so strongly that I could feel him wince.
I got up from the bed slowly and he reached for me, but I continued toward my bathroom, my body on autopilot. I needed to get clean. My own flesh seemed alien to me, dirty, defiled, and I wanted to scrub every inch of my body raw.
“No, Noah, leave her alone. She’ll be fine if you can just give her some time. I’ll go with her.” I heard Harley murmur, then she was with me in the bathroom, sitting me down gently on the toilet. She knew what I needed, and set about running a bath, gathering the cleansing herbs, oils, and salt that I would want in the water with me.
I stared into space again, fighting my thoughts. I didn’t want to think, didn’t want to feel anything that would remind me of what had just happened. My neck throbbed with every heartbeat, and although I knew that one vampire bite would not a vampire make me without the exchange of his blood, I thought I could feel him inside me. How was I to scrub that out? I let out a whimper and Harley turned towards me, her eyes filled with unshed tears.
“Oh honey, you’ll be alright. I know that’s cold comfort right now, but it’s over and you’re safe. We’ll take care of you.” She put a comforting hand on my shoulder; she knew me too well than to try to hug me.
I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts, so I asked her to stay with me while I bathed. She nodded mutely and turned her back while I threw off my nightshirt and climbed into the tub, feeling the hot water seep into my muscles. I sat with my arms curled around my legs, my head on my knees. I wanted so badly to recline in the soothing water, but that was too much like relinquishing control and I couldn’t bring myself to do that. My mind was working a thousand miles an hour, poking and prodding, wanting to dissect everything that had happened. I was losing the battle though, control slipping away like a thief in the night. Despite my best efforts, the tears hit, strong and hard. I felt Harley’s hand on my head, a comforting presence as I fell to pieces.
Chapter Eight
I heard the light tapping on my door, and I turned my head to look at it. I didn’t want to let him in, but I knew I had to at some point. The unreasonable blame that I placed squarely on his head had not dissipated despite the fact that I knew it was not his fault. He had saved me, and for that I should be thankful.
With a sigh I told him to come in and he did, turning to close the door behind him quietly. He leaned his forehead on the door before turning to me, and his face looked drawn, tired. My heart wanted to reach out to him, but my mind viciously beat it down. I stared at him dully, not knowing what to say.
He moved to the bed and sat on the edge, and I moved myself away from him, like a child would do.
“I know that you’re hurting, Teagan-” He started to speak, but I cut him off with a slash of my hand.
“You…don’t…know…how…I…feel.” I ground out, irrational anger flooding through me. I hated myself even more at that point than I hated him. I knew I was being unreasonable, but was powerless to stop myself.
“It’s because of you that I put myself in such a vulnerable position. If I hadn’t been so concerned over why you didn’t speak to me when you came in the house, then I wouldn’t have gotten into a fight with Harley, which made me so scatterbrained that I completely forgot to cast my circle!” I yelled, my voice gaining in strength with every word. I still wouldn’t look at him, still kept my back turned to him. I didn’t want him to see the tears that were coursing down my face.
“Teagan, that’s just plain ridiculous.”
I gasped in indignation, although I knew he was right. I wiped my tears away, rubbing my face raw to get rid of the evidence of my weakness before I rounded on him.
“Really? Ridiculous? You weren’t the one who was bitten Noah! You have no right to judge me!” I could hear the hysterical edge creeping into my voice, could feel the tremors wanting to take up residence in my tired muscles again.
“You’re right Teagan, I wasn’t bitten, but I failed you. Don’t you think that the torture I’m putting myself through is enough?” I could hear the anguish in his voice and my anger started to dissipate. It was one thing for me to blame him for what happened, another for me to think he was putting himself through unnecessary pain thinking that he failed me. Which made no sense.
“I should have double checked your protection. I shouldn’t have taken it for granted that you had done enough.”
I actually saw red. His words, though not said with the intent to belittle me or my ability to protect myself, sent a fresh surge of fury through me. With a growl that came from deep within me, I turned and kicked him off the bed, using both feet and all the torment that was built up in me from the night. I connected solidly wit
h his back and with a grunt he fell off the bed.
“Get out!” I screamed at him as I knelt on the bed, my arm outstretched and my finger pointing at the door. He sprung up quickly, his hands fisted at his side, his expression thunderous. I glared back defiantly, not caring that his feelings were hurt, not caring that I had thought he and I could have a fresh start not all that long ago. At the moment he was annoying, obnoxious Noah and I just wanted him gone.
He didn’t budge, just stood there, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. I could see his jaw flexing as he ground his teeth, and I could imagine the restraint he was employing to keep his mouth shut.
I didn’t want him restrained, though. I needed more of a reason to get him out of my room, out of my life; I wanted him so angry that he would turn around and storm out and not come back. There was, however, a small part of me that wanted him to stay, to fight me, to yell at me, to take me by the arms and shake sense into me, because I knew how irrational I was being.
But it was a small part, and I fought to keep it from growing out of control.
“Get out!” I yelled again, shaking my arm hard, my finger stabbing the air.
“I will not get out. You obviously need to have a baby sitter to keep you from being killed, and apparently I’m the one that has to do it!” His voice was raised, but the anger he was obviously feeling was still under lock and key.
“You bastard! I am a grown woman who can take care of herself. I don’t need any man to take care of me, let alone you. If you were so capable of doing a good job, why did this happen?” I pointed at my neck, tilting my head to the side. I could feel heat building in me as I stared at him, but I thought it was the building heat of a righteous temper tantrum.
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