by Bianca Vix
He scans my face as if he’s searching for something. For what, I can’t imagine.
Evidently deciding he can trust me, he starts up again.
But still, he turns away as he speaks. Like he can’t face me. Since when has Rob ever been unable to face me? He’s confessed the stupidest things he’s ever done to me with less anxiety than he’s going through now.
This whole situation has gone from impossible to surreal in a very short time.
“He and I…we…” Rob clears his throat. “Back then, John and I were sleeping together.”
“No kidding.” Now I don’t recognize my own voice. It’s like all the air’s gotten sucked out of the room. The numbness is back.
Why are you fucking guys?
It’s all I want to ask him. My throat’s gone dry. I want to know and I don’t, all at the same time.
And since you obviously were, why him?
Why not me?
My thoughts collide hard as Rob shoots me a quick glance. Like my response is the most important thing in the world. I can’t imagine what must be written all over my face.
“You got a problem with that?” His normal defiance is coming back, but it’s hollow. He’s still nothing like his normal, fearless self.
“Yes. I do.”
His face falls. He expected me to say that it’s fine.
But my problem is not what he thinks it is.
Springing to my feet, I start to pace back and forth in front of him. I can’t contain the adrenaline pumping through my veins. It’s coming from fury. And something else.
“Yes, I have a problem with it. Because the client we’ve been after for so long is going to have a problem with it. A gigantic mountain of a problem with it. Don’t you think it’s likely that if it was going to hurt our chances for you to be seen having an affair with a married woman, that something like this–” I don’t want to say it. Instead I gesture at the tablet that rests on the table in front of us. “Might just be somewhat worse for them?”
“I didn’t want this to get out there.” Rob stands up, grabbing at my arms. “How can you not believe me?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I’ve heard it all before. Like pretty damn regularly. It’s not your fault. You didn’t want it to happen. The excuses are getting old, Rob. More than old. I’m so tired of hearing the same loop over and over again.”
“How can you even suggest that I’d purposely let something like this get put out there? After all the time we’ve spent building NovaTeam up? Both of us, James. It’s not just you. It’s our company. I work just as hard as you do.”
I snort. “If you were so determined to not have this picture out there, then why is it out there? Why in the everloving fuck does it even exist at all?”
Rob’s brow creases, as if he’s trying to remember. How the hell he could forget a photo like this being taken, I have no idea.
“Oh, yeah. Right. It was the guy who was renting out the cabin. He was taking photos of it. I guess he got one of us. Yeah, that’s right. Once we realized he caught one of us, I asked him not to put it out there.”
“Why didn’t you make sure?” I snap. “I’d think that would be something you would’ve made sure to take care of.”
“Because he said he wouldn’t. And I don’t think he did. I don’t know why he would’ve kept it in the first place, except he probably didn’t know how to delete it anyway. He was the father of one of John’s friends, an older man who didn’t know the first thing about technology. I expect he got hacked. Look at the site it’s on. Just a bunch of random crap.”
“You never followed up? How can you not know something like that for sure?”
“Because it was a few years ago. At least a couple, anyway. I didn’t think much of it at the time. Besides, who cares about that kind of thing in this century, anyway.”
“Well, let’s see. If the football association cares about you looking like you’re sleeping with a married woman, and you know that they do, they’re going to go absolutely fucking nuts about you looking like you’re sleeping with a man.”
I can’t figure out why he’s being so obtuse about this. Surely he knows what this means.
“What’s happening with damage control?”
“It’s with the lawyers. If they can’t get it taken down before it spreads, then Melissa will take over and do everything she can to try to fix it somehow. But it’s not looking good. Once something’s out there online…”
“I am sorry about this, James. You’ve got my back though, right? If this all goes to hell, I can count on you being on my side. Right?”
For once, he actually does look sorry. Contrite, even. And yet, his manner does nothing to calm me down. Instead I’m getting even more pissed off.
He continues. “If we don’t get this client, it’s going to suck, sure. But we’ll bounce back. We’ll recover just fine. And did you ever think that maybe we don’t even actually want the association as a client? If they can be that particular about controlling our own personal lives, who needs them?”
Did he really just say that? “Are you fucking kidding me? We’ve been working so hard on acquiring them. For so long now. And we’re so close to scoring the contract. It’s a huge deal and you fucking well know it.” I bite the words off hard. “The last thing I want to do is give it up for something so fucking stupid as your own carelessness.”
“Hey, I want this as much as you do. You know that. But this is how it is now.” He gestures again at the tablet, the picture of him and John still right there on the goddamn screen. “All we can do now is roll with it.”
He’s right. I know he’s right. But every single word that comes out of his mouth just pisses me off more. He doesn’t want this as much as I do. There’s no possible way. I can’t just roll with it. Not now. Not when it’s just happened. Not when he’s put my whole future in danger.
I haven’t given up on having a life outside of work for this long just to lose it all now.
“What the hell is wrong with you? I’ve sacrificed so much to get to this point. So how can you just not care about throwing it all away.”
“Maybe that’s your problem. You’re spent too much time sacrificing and not enough enjoying the ride.”
I can’t believe Rob. He’s never been like this before. He’s crossed the line from just being annoying to becoming a total asshole.
“You’re putting this back on me?” Where the hell does he get off, trying to turn this back around onto me?
Asshole.
“How long have you been fucking men?” I spit the question out before I can stop myself.
My question throws Rob right off guard. He stares at me. “I don’t know. What do you care?” His defiance is coming back.
I clench my hands into tight fists. “Tell me.”
Somehow I sound calm.
Far from it.
At least I have his full attention now.
You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Once again, Rob looks like he’s thinking about it.
It’s been going on for so long that he has to think about it?
For a moment I think he’s not going to answer but after a long pause, he does.
“Since college. Probably the last couple years there.”
His answer makes my head hurt. That long. How could it be that long? That’s almost as long as I’ve been wanting him.
Un. Fucking. Believable.
It shouldn’t bother me. I know it. He and I are friends. Best friends. Business partners. Anything more would fuck everything up between us. I couldn’t ask for a better business partner. Each one of us has enough strengths to cover up for the other’s one weaknesses. We work extremely well together, in spite of Rob making me want to kill him on a regular basis.
What we have is good. In almost every single way.
Except for the one way I truly want.
Rob breaks into my thoughts. “What’s it to you, anyway? Do you have some kind of problem with men
fucking men? I didn’t think you were so close-minded, James.” His lips start to curl up into his trademark smirk. The one that he knows will piss me off even more.
He’s the one screwing this up, not me. And on top of it all, he has the nerve to accuse me of being close-minded?
What. The. Fuck.
White hot fury rushes through me like a wild river. I take a step towards him and he stands his ground, not even flinching as I move in way too close.
“No.” My voice is icy. “I don’t have a problem with men fucking men.”
I draw the syllables out, trying to dredge up at least some shreds of my rapidly-fraying control.
It doesn’t work.
“James. You need to relax. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.”
All these years of trying to ignore the way I feel about Rob. Trying to pretend I don’t want him. Watching him hook up with one woman after another and trying to make myself believe that none of that matters, because I can’t have him anyway.
All of that just to find out that he’s been screwing around with men too.
It’s like he’s been cheating on me, although of course he hasn’t. He’s never shown the slightest bit of interest in me. His interest is in just about everyone else except for me.
“How many men?”
It doesn’t even matter. I don’t even want to know, but I still can’t help asking.
Rob shrugs. “A few. What does that matter?” he asks. “I really didn’t think you’d have a problem with it, James. What’s up with you? Why are you blaming me for someone posting some unauthorized pictures of me online? The imminent implosion of NovaTeam, all because of something someone else did. And yet somehow, it’s still all my fault.”
A wave crests inside me. Something breaks. Like a wrecking ball crashing into a skyscraper.
Blind fury overtakes me completely. I move towards him. For a moment I don’t even know what I’m doing. My hands have a will of their own as they go to his shoulders. I shove Rob back against the wall. I’m pinning him there with my arm across his chest.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
Whatever it is, I can’t stop.
Chapter 8
Rob
I’m not sure what I expected to happen. James is so ferociously angry at me, I’m getting worried for him. Like he might have a stroke or something.
But James holding me down like this isn’t even on the list of the usual possibilities.
His eyes are burning with something I’ve never seen in them before.
I can’t believe what I think it is.
Maybe it’s just my own feelings being reflected back to me.
Desire. Need. Lust. Passion.
Because in spite of the completely, totally unexpected way James shoved me up against the wall, he’s not hurting me. Never would.
I’m used to ignoring the lust that stirs up in me. For him. It’s an automatic response by now.
“It’s not my fault.” My tone has a defiant bite to it, although I don’t mean for it to. It’s my default for when James calls me out on something. Comes naturally.
I don’t push him away, or even make a move to extract myself.
I’m way too curious about what he’s going to do next.
I relax into the wall behind my back. James’s warm, strong body right in front of me is almost too much to take. I don’t want to fight against the pulsing urge to tear his clothes off any more.
His light blue eyes are darker than I’ve ever seen them. They’re penetrating into me like he’s trying to read my mind.
He doesn’t need to. James just needs to look lower down to see the effect he has on me.
I’m no mindreader, and I badly want to know what he’s thinking. I can’t figure it out. The man’s eyes are just as guarded as they always are. He likes to keep himself hidden.
There’s nothing unusual about James being pissed at me, not these days. It’s almost like he’s going out of his way to fight with me. That’s not how we usually roll, not at all. If anything’s bugging him, he usually avoids me until he gets over it. And things go right back to normal.
Of course he hasn’t had time to get over this. And for once, I’m just as worried about it as he is. It’s bad. I’m well aware of that fact. But right now, there’s a lot more going on with James than just being furious with me over this fucking leaked photo.
Even in spite of this new extreme crisis facing us, the ever-present desire to get James naked is what’s really at the forefront of my mind.
There’s no way in hell I’m going to do that.
The moment draws out. James is unflinching as he holds me pinned between the wall and his body. I give him a smirk, the kind that usually gets some kind of reaction from him.
But he doesn’t respond.
Not until James lifts his hand, fingers curving under my chin, do I really start to believe what’s going on here. What might be about to happen. My stomach tightens at the thought.
His arm muscles are tensed up as he holds me in place. They’re bigger and more defined than I remember. He’s wearing a snug t-shirt that’s definitely not his usual style. Suits for the office, baggy clothes for the gym. The only two places I ever seem to see him anymore. It’s tight enough that I can see the outlines of his chest muscles. The tightness of his abs.
His hard nipples. I stare at them, not caring that there’s no way he won’t notice what I’m doing. I could have shaken James off long ago, and he was probably expecting me to.
But I let him keep me here, pinned by him. His clenched fist relaxes, palm flattening out. I suck in my breath as his fingers stroke way more slowly than they need to across my chest.
His body is so close, I can feel the heat radiating off his skin. It’s too warm in here for his nipples to be stiff from being cold.
James wrenches his eyes off mine. But instead of looking away, he slides them down my body. I don’t try to hide the full erection that bulges visibly in my jeans. Instead I make a point of shifting my hips forward, so he can’t help but see it.
It’s his move to make now.
And I’m blown away when instead of moving away from me and starting to rip into me once again, James takes a step forward.
Closer to me.
He’s so close now that there’s very few inches between his crotch and mine. He sets one foot between mine, his thigh stopping just short of pressing against my painfully-throbbing cock.
He looks wild. Well, for him. The James I know would never have a hair out of place, his appearance always as perfectly in order as his immaculate suits, shoes always polished to within an inch of their lives. Now that he’s out of his daily uniform, it’s like a wall is coming down. His hair’s untidy. Everything about him is somehow unrestrained.
His eyes are stormy with something that if I didn’t know better, I’d think was uncontrollable desire.
“Something on your mind?” I don’t actually mean for the words to sound as taunting as they do, and I regret them once they’re out there. But nothing about this makes sense. He’s way off balance. When James gets angry at me, he’s never acted like this before. Not once in all the time we’ve known each other.
He doesn’t answer.
He’s busy staring at my hard cock.
I suck in my breath as he takes his hand from my chest. His fingertips brush over my nipples as he does. Did he do that on purpose?
I can’t tell.
He’s not freeing me. His hands go to my shoulders, still holding me against the wall.
What the hell is going on with him?
I get my answer with his next move.
Chapter 9
James
I don’t know what’s come over me as I close the gap between Rob and I. I grind my hips into him, our inflamed cocks rubbing through the fabric of our clothes. I’m grabbing at him, pulling at his body like I want to consume him.
Somehow my hand snakes behind his head and I’m crushing my mouth against h
is.
I can’t believe it.
Rob doesn’t stop me.
After a moment to recover from what I’m sure is total shock, he’s giving back just as good as he’s getting.
The hunger for this man is burning through my veins like an out-of-control wildfire.
The man I shouldn’t want.
My best friend and business partner. The one who’s entwined in every aspect of my life and everything that’s ever been important to me.
Rob’s hands are on my ass, holding me tight as he pushes back against me. I haven’t given any thought to where this could lead to. Or what happens after this feverish kiss that’s about to burn down the entire damn building if it goes on any longer.
His tongue invades my mouth and somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m shocked. I don’t know what I was thinking when I grabbed Rob and I sure as hell don’t know how we got to here. I expected Rob to explain away the photo of him with that guy as not actually being what it looked like. And then we’d get on with work like we’re supposed to be doing.
Not for him to be locked in an embrace with me.
Jesus Christ.
As much as I don’t want to, I have to break our kiss before I pass out from lack of oxygen. Or maybe it’s something else that’s choking me up. I can’t tell and there’s no time to figure it out. Every kind of thought I’m capable of having dissolves when Rob slides his hands up under my shirt.
The unexpected sensations as he pinches my nipples hard are making my brain melt.
I want to protest when he stops what he’s doing. But he’s taking off down the hall.
And pulling me along with him.
I’ve never done anything like this before.
Never been dragged off to my own bedroom by a man.
Never had my clothes torn off by big hands.
Never rubbed my pulsing, leaking cock against another man’s erection.
Never kissed another man before, that’s for damn sure.
But it all comes naturally.
Like it’s right.
Now that it’s happening, it’s almost overwhelming. I know what I want, but something’s holding me back, keeping me in check.
So Rob’s the one taking over, making things happen. He’s the one who pushes me onto the bed.