I did one last quick look back to the terminal for hopefully one final fix of Rand. I didn’t see him. I suppose he was already onto security. My phone sounded, my ringtone was programmed with none other than a song from the Rolling Isaac’s. I reached in my purse to dig it out. It was Rand. “I miss you already.” Hearing that his voice sounded so close, even through the phone and as I turned back to wipe my eyes and gather my breath to respond to him on the phone, I felt a soothing touch capture my hand. I felt the same tenderness in his other hand sliding across my cheeks to dab the moist droplets. Breathless, I fell into Rand’s arms. He came back, even if for just this moment. He took me in his arms and I sobbed. I felt his heartbeat and rested my head on his chest. It was only a few more minutes that I had with him but then he was off and dashing through the airport and I could see ahead Maxwell cursing, shaking his head and wondering where Rand had gone off too.
Driving back to our home went by in a blur. Sometimes we just go through the motions of driving, walking and moving about and then suddenly we realize we are at the destination and have completely passed the time it took to get us there. Sitting in the driveway, the air was still and the grounds empty as the band was off traveling once again. I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Jillian telling her that we would be spending a lot of time together over these next two, long months. I knew she had not gone to the airport to see Raeford off as they were recently treading on a rough patch in their relationship. She told me most of it was his being played less on stage, but I felt there was more that she hadn’t shared with me yet. I am so thankful that Rand and I had not hit that same patch. We were the polar opposite lately, we could not get enough of each other and it seemed so deep. Perhaps sometimes it was too deep to me that I worried about ever losing him. Jillian responded that many walks in the local park and morning coffee chats and dinners out would help us pass the time. She said she had just heard from Cecile who sounded upset after saying goodbye to Kent earlier too. I had to laugh inside at how all three of us mature women were so strongly tied to these three band men.
I wasn’t sure how the relationships would progress with either of my friends and with Rand’s band mates, but I knew my connection with Rand was solid. It was not going to be severed and could never be removed. I thought about his tattoo with my married name permanently on his skin, with him every day and every moment. I shook away the thoughts that I would have anything to worry about while he was traveling to do his job.
I scrolled down through my emails and was seeing what had come in since I last reviewed them. My mother wanted a day out and that I could surely do now. I had a few responses for some articles I wrote and submitted. That would keep me busy with writing work, plus the freelance income was always a perk. I saw that Thomas emailed me and I opened that one up. He said he wanted to let me know that he heard the band was traveling for a lengthy amount of time and if I needed a person to talk to or hang out with that he was always available for me. I smiled and closed that email. I was surely not going to reply to that one. Thomas still hung in the wings for he somehow thought there may be a possibility of us someday, but I knew that my heart was completely devoted to the greatest man. I missed Rand so much already. I leaned back and placed my hands to my chest and pulled them tightly over my heart and closed my eyes and breathed. A deep sigh released from my lips.
The first month the Rolling Isaac’s traveled went by so quickly for me. I got things arranged in the house, our house, and passed the time well. I was fully engaged with Cecile and the publishing house that liked my story with the band, that I finally titled Rock Notes. It was moving forward through their channels and Cecile keeping up with all the progress. It was looking very promising. This was good since I had worried that no publisher would want it. I had gotten out and had a few dinners with friends and also even joined my mother weekly for girl time. This morning I opened an email invite for a happy hour in the city that Jillian sent to me. Her friends at work were all heading out on Friday and it seemed like it might be fun. I hadn’t seen her as much as I liked this month as she had a client at work that demanded more attention which meant overtime hours, but if it all went well for her she would surely be compensated. She worked very hard at the marketing firm over the years and she would definitely be helpful to me as my friend and my personal marketing guru once Rock Notes was released. I replied back that I would join the happy hour and smiled at my screen.
When Friday came I awoke with a ring tone of none other than Rand calling me. “Hey my Love, morning.” He sounded very tired, but we continued to talk and mostly about how we missed one another so much. My eyes misted already as I lay in bed with his voice coming through the phone. “Rand, I am counting down each day till you’re back but how has it been going?”
“It’s been fun. The guys are keeping it upbeat. Killjoy and I have been practicing lots. We’re psyched about playing together here in Chicago, I heard it’s sold out already. Raeford’s still pissed that Killjoy will be taking over some of his sets but it’s only temporary, he doesn’t have to worry. I suppose Maxwell knows what he’s doing on the business end of things bringing Killjoy in for few spots. I showed Killjoy your picture. You now have another admirer. Killjoy and I were creating a few new tunes the other day and I really think I may have found my musical counterpart.” In talking about the collaboration with Killjoy, some of Rand’s exhaustion seemed to fade away. Rand sounded so excited and I was so glad that Killjoy was working out for them. I had never met Killjoy but I did hear there was a following of Killjoy’s music and the buzz was good. I meant to look Killjoy up online but hadn’t gotten to do that. If the band was happy that was a good thing.
“Just think, only twenty nine days and you will be back in my arms and our bed.” I said, trying to sound sexy.
“Madison, I think of that every day.” We talked for quite a while and I finally said that I was going to get moving and out of bed for the day. I told him I was heading out this evening to a happy hour and he seemed pleased that I wasn’t sitting in all the time.
“Don’t let any guys hit on you, tell them you are TAKEN!!!” he ordered.
“I’ll be fine, I’m a big girl, and older and wiser. I know all about the ways of men in bars.” We laughed and then I told him yet another time that I loved him so. “You have my heart,” were his closing words.
It takes me so long to get ready to go out, I really must learn how to just throw on an outfit rather than pace and try on so many choices. This evening I took out a rather short black skirt that was very fitted and a red sleeveless blouse that had a long “V” opening in the back and I placed my cuff bracelet that Rand had given to me on my wrist and thoughts of him entered my mind and I sat on the edge of my bed wondering what he was doing at this very moment. As my doorbell rang, I knew that Jillian had arrived as we said we would head to the city together. She had to finish up with a client close to where I lived with Rand now so it would be easy for her to get me on the way.
“Are you still primping? Come on girl!” She said as I let her in and she hugged me tightly.
“I will be ready in one minute, just let me grab shoes.” As I ran up the steps I glanced at the pile of clothes I left scattered about from all my earlier wardrobe choices that did not make the cut. I made a mental note that I would clean them up later.
As we drove to the bar in the city, Jillian looked out the window a lot and chatted with me but was surely trying to tell me something and didn’t seem to have gotten to it yet. I knew her so well over all these years and even seated next to her with her straight beautiful reddish hair flowing in the summer night’s air I could feel that there was something stirring within her. “Is everything okay, you seem a bit preoccupied?” I asked.
“Just a lot on my mind lately but we’ll talk about it later. By the way have you seen the band playing with Killjoy? I saw some of the fan made videos. Killjoy is awesome. Are you worried about them playing with Killjoy?” she asked.
“No,
I spoke with Rand and if he is happy then I am happy, he said Raeford was still pissed though. It’s only temporary he need not worry.”
“But Madison, Killjoy is so awesome,” she said again and then stopped herself.
We were pulling into the bar parking lot, so I didn’t respond anything more except, “I am glad they have someone awesome to cameo with them. I am thrilled for them”.
In the bar, happy hour was in full swing and it was packed. I hadn’t come into the city since meeting Thomas for lunch a while ago. I am more a homebody as of late with writing and missing Rand. As we pushed through, Jillian was quick to score two of the last open bar stools. I sat down and it was only seconds, actually seconds, when a very handsome guy approached me. I was waiting to see what type of line he would land on me.
“Hey, I’m Connor can I get you a drink?” In the background the guys yelled back his name is Cabe but I didn’t ask why.
He immediately opened up to me about not wanting to come to the bar, that it wasn’t his scene but being the new guy on the job with the firm he finally agreed to come for a short time. Little did he know this too was not my type setting, I was more comfortable in pajamas at home.
“Well Connor thank you for the drink offer but my friend Jillian was already on that task.” He seemed pleasant enough, not your typical guy out to hit on the girl with lame lines. He was actually polite in his tone and just wanting to make simple conversation.
“So what’s your name?” I replied to him my name is Madison and with that another gentleman spun around that was next to him and said, “My Madison?” It was none other than Thomas, my ex-husband.
“Well small world. I didn’t expect to see you here,” I smiled and said.
Connor spoke out, “Thomas you know this lovely girl?”
Thomas said, “Yes very, very well, we were married for ten years, and well, I believe that we’re still married.” I was quick to correct him and I told Connor that, yes, we were married once but that was so over and now I was in a relationship with another.
Thomas jumped on my words, “Maddy, nothing is ever truly over between us, but Connor now she is with that band guy Rand, and you know who I am speaking of the one playing with Killjoy.” Connor nodded his head and so did a few other guy friends with them. Most of them remarked that Killjoy was amazing. I guess I really did need to Google this Killjoy when I had a moment.
I had enough of Thomas and really didn’t want to hear his undertones in conversation. I usually just let them ride and mentally hoped that he would stop. I felt if I gave him a true spoken response he would just keep it going. I backed away from the guys and gave them a smile and caught up to where Jillian was. We finally had gotten to the girl talk. She shared with me her worries for Raeford and his playing with wondering if he was going to be replaced in the future with Killjoy. I tried to assure her that Rand and even Maxwell told me that it was only temporary. There was another underlying doubt in her eyes and I am not sure what it was but when I questioned her she said that here in the bar was definitely not the place to discuss it. As I continued to drink more, the atmosphere was becoming more fun and I relaxed with everyone. I did take out my phone at one point and had Jillian take a photo of me blowing a kiss and I sent it to Rand. I knew he was probably on stage at this moment but he would get it later.
As Thomas stayed near to us in the bar he really did not interject into our girl conversations. He was clearly joining in conversations with his group of guy friends. As another round of Mojitos came our way, the guys tipped their beers to us indicating that the drinks were from them. I thanked them with a smile. I looked up from sipping my minty rum drink and Thomas was right in front of me. He placed his hand on my exposed thigh and leaned in to me. I had a very questionable look upon my face, as he came in closer he said, “I thought you may want to see this.” I wasn’t sure what his next move was until he showed me a video feed on his smart phone of the concert in Chicago. It was Rand playing his heart out. I beamed looking at it and gave Thomas my sincere happy thankful eyes for showing it to me. I watched it for a long time as they played a tune I was very familiar with. I glanced across the screen and got to view each band member. Ron had on his sunglasses, and Kent looked like he was still working out and wore a sleeveless shirt showing off his awesome biceps. In the back I could see Raeford beating on the drums and then every once in a while Isaac stood front and center but he seemed to block out the camera angle for moments. I felt like I was at their show. This is what these guys and my guy did for a living and they performed so well. I missed Rand so badly and also missed all the guys. I knew I should hand the phone back to Thomas as I was surely eating up his battery but I remained completely mesmerized with the screen.
Then, as the band transitioned into the next song on their playlist, I froze. The camera panned back and I saw the most stunning blonde, sexy girl come across to Rand and wrap her leg around his. As Rand played she pulled him to the stage floor below and she cat crawled around him and played with his hair, and then took her hands up to undo his shirt. She swung her long blonde hair back over her shoulder, sung out the tune with her gem coated microphone, the embellishments read “Killjoy.” She then licked his neck and then crawled up behind him and reached around and cupped his exposed chest and tugged at his nipples. I dropped the cell phone and choked on the last sip of my drink that was still in my mouth. As Thomas bent down to get his phone, I thought I saw a brief smirk on his lips.
“Jillian, I really need to get home, now.” I was clearly upset and needed to run. She was in deep conversation with some of the guys and told me she would be a moment. When I pressed her to leave again, I saw that she held her finger up for me to wait another minute. I was in no condition to drive home. I hadn’t seen Jillian drinking at all during the night, just talking a lot with a drink near her. Thomas was looking at his phone to make certain I hadn’t broken it and then told me he was sorry that I saw that, he didn’t mean to upset me he just wanted me to see Rand, my fiancé. I wasn’t sure if his intent in showing me the video was malicious, but I needed to get out of this bar to breathe and get home.
Thomas told me that he and Connor were heading out. Connor lived out in the suburbs. I was hesitant but needed a ride and Thomas said he would get me home. Since Jillian didn’t have to head out of the city too just to take me back I decided to accept the ride. I trusted Thomas for so many years, as he did always make sure I got home safely. I cleared it with Jillian who was fine since her living in the city would only be a trip of a few blocks. Thomas really didn’t seem to mind taking me and Connor back to the suburbs. He actually talked business with Connor for most of the drive. I figured Thomas was hoping I wouldn’t send him back into the city, to his home alone. Connor finished up work talk and then focused his conversation toward me. “So Madison I understand from Thomas that I only live two miles from you. I am in the next townhouse community from yours, and Thomas boasts that you make the best coffee,” he said kindly. I didn’t participate in their conversation as my head was spinning with thoughts of Rand and Killjoy.
I was hearing bits and pieces of his speaking to me. He seemed nice and I continued to nod and smile. I did gather that Connor accepted a new employment position in Philly and worked with Thomas now in the city. Still smiling at his spoken words, I noticed that he was yummy handsome and kept staring. He told me he had heard the Rolling Isaac’s play before and he enjoyed their music. I definitely heard that. He said he also heard that I was a writer and hoped to read some of my work one day. I wasn’t sure what Thomas told him about me but I knew he did tell him some things. As we dropped him off, he said goodnight and hoped we would meet again. He leaned over toward me and gave me a friendly hug goodbye and said, “Goodnight Madison, see you soon, we’re practically neighbors.” He smelled really good, I remember sort of a fresh outdoors scent. I actually took in another breath of him before I could speak back.
“Well Connor I used to live near you in my townhouse, but I have my m
other and uncle living there now. I have moved in with Rand.” I corrected him, but in my head, my brain was saying, yes, he was definitely yummy. I held onto him for a few seconds longer then released myself from his pull.
It was a very silent long ride from there with just Thomas and I back to Rand’s house, actually Rand and my house now. I didn’t want to speak to Thomas of all people about Killjoy and her appearance that I viewed. And I definitely did not want to tell Thomas that it was that moment in the bar that I found out Killjoy was a girl, a beautiful stunning girl…for some reason I had thought all this time that Killjoy was a rocking guy that the band enjoyed playing with not this gorgeous girl that just licked Rand’s neck, chest and touched his nipples. I shuttered with a chill from that thought. Rand appeared to like her every movement, her touching her pulling him onto her. He went right into her clutching claws, actually beautifully long stroking fingers.
I was buzzing from the drinks, I had not eaten a thing and Thomas reached over and placed his hand on my thigh as we turned down the road I lived on. He tenderly rubbed his hand on my thigh and commented how he loved to see my legs and what an attractive pair of legs I have. He told me that he watched as so many men in the bar this evening looked me over, but that he knew I was his. I didn’t even bother to voice out and correct him. Thomas pulled in front of the barn and parked. His hand still rested on my leg. Was I so naïve to think that Rand was faithful on the road. It certainly looked like there was something between him and Killjoy and that was just the first time I had seen them together. I am certain the past month they shared many captive moments.
Love Notes ((Book Two of the Heartbeat Series)) Page 4