When we arrived back to our party, I was surely the blushing bride. I had that sex glow. No one had missed us, everyone was dancing and eating and having fun. I heard a tap on a microphone and Maxwell cleared his throat. “Without any further delays I want everyone to raise their glasses of whatever they are drinking and toast to the new married couple that have finally joined us. Rand and Madison you make me so proud. I love you both, I wish you all the happiness and hope that your married life ahead will keep your hearts beating with the best music ever played.”
“To the beautiful bride and doom, I meant groom!” Isaac shouted.
Maxwell walked over and kissed my cheek. “Madison thank you for saving Rand, he is a complete man because of you.” I smiled and my eyes got misty.
I turned to Ron and said, “Hey do you have an extra pair of shades? If this night gets any more emotional I am going to need to be covering my teary eyes.” He laughed.
I looked over and my husband now had taken hold of the microphone and it rested comfortably in his hands. “I want to take a moment and play a tune to my lovely bride…this is for you Love,” Rand said as he signaled to the guys to play some background music. “Oh” Rand hollered out, “it’s titled For So Long.”
For so long, with every breath I take with you.
For so long, for as long as our lives take us through.
Until I hold you no longer near.
For so long, our love was kept between just you and me.
Now I rejoice, now I am blessed as you see.
That here today, I marry you and can share the news.
Once back in time, I thought we were a dream.
Everyday you were my entire mind.
When you came along the days brightened.
But we kept our passion hidden.
It was so hard to love you and not shout it aloud.
Our time was then and here we have it to proclaim with everyone.
For so long,
For so long,
For so long
Every moment I hold with you,
For so long, every hour or every day
I have held onto you.
Once back in time, I thought we were a dream.
Everyday you were my entire mind.
When you came along the days brightened.
But we kept our passion hidden.
It was so hard to love you and not shout it aloud.
Our time was then and here we have it to proclaim with everyone.
For so long
I found my love.
For so long
I want you in my life.
For so long
I want you to be my wife.
When he finished he smiled, I walked up to him and pulled his lips to mine. He had me at the first verse, “Every breath I take with you.”
We spent our first night as husband and wife in Vermont. After all the festivities had concluded we hung with our friends and family. Heck, they all were like one huge family to us now. I saw Cecile in the arms of Kent and she looked content but I did see her stare off into space and I had to wonder if her thoughts were taking her from this winter wonderland to thoughts of Connor back in Pennsylvania. I guess I really felt for her, because she said she loved him one time so much and if it was a fraction of how I feel about my husband now, I would be devastated. To lose him and not see him for so long and suddenly he’s back. I haven’t had the time to reach out to her to talk about it, but if I know her, she will be knocking on my door once we get back. Also Cecile and I have a bit of traveling together coming up so I’m sure we will take in some quality girl chat time.
Jillian is seated on Raeford’s lap in the chair where the last candle is still lit, but quickly burning out. They look quite cozy. Well, enough about all my friends, I need to focus on what’s in front of me. The striking Max Rand and he is all mine. I slide my hand up under his shirt and I rub the pad of my finger over his nipple. His face is red and he is smiling, “Is my bride eager to leave here and move our wedding night celebration to bed?” I nodded and took my tongue slowly across my bottom lip in anticipation of what the night held for us.
Chapter Thirteen – Fall to Pieces
We stayed a few extra days in Vermont at the lodge, but we didn’t leave the bedroom. Everyone had left and headed back, but we added some quiet time for ourselves. We did though have to head out soon because tomorrow evening Rand and the Rolling Isaac’s were playing a small show at the Second Street Coffee Café to benefit Kent’s family. Some people missed out on getting a ticket for the event but many donations were coming in for Kent. He was humbled by all the well wishes for his family. Since he was quite settled in at the barn space with Rand and me, he sent a lot of money to his family as often as he could so they had begun to rebuild already. I don’t know how they got through this loss. To have your entire world and all of your possessions reduced to smoke and ashes was unimaginable. What little was left was nothing more than scattered pieces, now completely unrecognizable.
“Love, what are you thinking? You look so serious.” Rand questioned.
“Oh, I was just feeling bad for Kent’s family, but they seem to be moving forward. I don’t know how I would handle a tragedy like that.”
“Madison I think you could handle anything that came your way. You have gotten so much stronger and gained so much self-confidence, it shows.”
“Well babe, you bring that out in me and make me a far better person than I ever thought I could be.”
“Tonight should be fun. It will be my first official appearance singing since things have changed.” Rand stated.
“What things have changed?” I wrinkle my face confused.
“Well, I’m a married man now. I can’t be striping off my soaked shirts, dancing in front of the girls. Do I need to go on?”
“You just keep doing what you do so well, making awesome music and keeping your wife satisfied. After all, you will always be coming home to me.” I smiled and looked at my wedding ring. Yes, we did it and we were heading back home, married.
When we pulled in everyone was at the rehearsal barn. It looked like a party, but I waved as we pulled in and I went in the house, leaving Rand to catch up with them all. As I walked into the foyer, I had to pause. I felt dizzy. It then passed, I continued into the kitchen with a pile of mail to go through. It hit me again. I reached out and barely caught the edge of the kitchen counter, I got faint. I pulled the closest chair to me and sat for a moment. It seemed to pass. I was glad Rand was outside with everyone as he would be so worried. Maybe it was because I didn’t eat much during the last few days and had an abundance of sex. I really needed to make some food for us because if I know my husband he will be back soon and carrying me up the stairs to our bedroom.
I guess I know my man very well because it wasn’t long that he was away from me, and he came in and swept me in his arms.
“I made us some food. I got a little shaky earlier because I haven’t eaten.”
“Madison, are you okay?”
“Yeah, let’s just eat and I am sure I will feel better, I already do in your arms.”
The weather the next night in Philly was cold but the crowd that came out for the show displayed so much warmth and compassion through their donations to Kent’s family. It was great to hang out with my girlfriends. Rand and the band were getting ready to play. I looked at my husband, and seeing his wedding ring on, a huge smile appeared on my face. Rand caught me looking at his left hand and he brought his ring finger to his lips and kissed it and sent me a wink.
“Oh girlfriend, you have it so bad,” Jillian came up and hugged me. She went to hand me a drink, but I passed on it. I still was not feeling like myself. Perhaps I caught a virus in the cold weather while we were in Vermont. “Hey Maddy, you’re not drinking?” Jillian asked. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Jillian, I just feel a little under the weather. Don’t say anything, Rand will be worried. I’m sure I will feel better soon.”
; Rand welcomed the crowd and thanked them for coming. “We want to take a moment give back to a band mate whose family has suffered a loss. He’s like a brother to me and I would do anything for him and his family. Thank you all for coming out on this chilly night, but we will heat things up!”
“We love you too Rand even if you are married!” someone shouted. I was happy to hear that as sometimes fans can be upset.
Jillian and I stood and danced in time to the beat of their songs. She never took her eyes off Raeford. I have known her for a long time. I’ve seen her with many dates and even some guys who made it past a few dates, but this was different. For her and Raeford to still be together after losing a baby on top of the fact that he was still a mystery to Jillian in many ways I hoped they would make it long term. I knew when I had some time that I would try to talk to Raeford and see why he doesn’t think he is good enough for her. She really adores him. I know she enjoys having sex with him, she always has to tell me that but there is a non verbal exchange that they have that Rand and I share.
She said he sees her as a very confident city girl, from a perfect upper class family. I have the feeling she is something so much further from that. She doesn’t share that part of her life with anyone and only I have caught a rare glimpse of it. Just because she works and lives in the city and upholds the image her family wants her too, doesn’t mean she was that way all her life. Always stunning to the eye on the exterior and I see her red hair dazzle in the light, she continually shines when in a group of many. But there is a piece of her life that is dark and dim. It remains closed deep inside her forever. I haven’t been able to pull it to the surface and don’t know if anyone ever will.
Right now, with Jillian smiling at him and him giving her a very sexy glance I knew tonight and tomorrow they would be okay. It was Cecile that my thoughts and glances went too. She came in late to the show and stayed toward the back. When I first saw her come in, she looked like she got caught in a wind tunnel in the outside weather. It was cold out but not windy. I then saw at the other end of the room a very handsome man standing with his eyes definitely focused on one person…Cecile. Connor was here to support the cause tonight and I wondered if he had caught up with Cecile earlier. She looked at me and smiled and I could see that in that plastered on fake smile, something was terribly wrong. She couldn’t get this past me, she was clearly upset.
I waited until the song ended and told Jillian I was heading to the ladies room. I watched Cecile head down the hall and right behind her was Connor. Just when Cecile reached for the ladies room door, Connor placed his hand over hers and said, “Cecile we need to talk. Please, I love you.” I froze in the hallway and leaned up against the wall blending myself into the other women waiting to get in the ladies room as Cecile and Connor were holding up the line. Connor pulled her hand and said, “Give me five minutes and I will be out of here, can you please give me that?” Cecile gave him a nod and they moved off to the side wall and there they stood. As the music played in the background I was glad Kent was up on stage while this was playing out in front of me.
It wasn’t even a minute. Connor lifted her chin, making her meet his eyes. It is easy to see she loves him. I could feel it in her look. It was the same way I look at Rand. Connor leaned in and tilted his head slowly down to her and gave her plenty of time to pull back, push him, scream out, run but that never happened. I watched Cecile lick her lower lip just as Connor placed his mouth on hers. They both were so into one another that I don’t think they even remembered where they were now. They were both lost in the kiss, and Connor brought his hands up under her head and held her tightly to his face. His fingers pulled through her long blond strands of hair, massaging her head and I heard a soft muffled moan escape from her. I almost got tears in my eyes watching the passion ignite between them. “Are you going in the ladies room?” A girl’s voice behind me questioned as I hadn’t moved in the line. I moved my feet forward and then I saw Cecile break hold from Connor.
Breathing heavily she said, “Connor I can’t do this. Kent is here, I am with him! He is out there playing and I shouldn’t be back here playing with you.” Her hair was more of a mess now so I figured she and Connor were already together at some point earlier making her late to the show. She smoothed her hair down with her hands and started to walk past me. She didn’t stop. I think she was so caught up in her mind about Connor and Kent that nothing and no one were visible to her now. After I finally made it to the ladies room I came back to see the guys finishing up and Kent jumping off the stage to come to Cecile. She wore a happy face for him, but I knew it was all troubled behind her mask.
“Hey wife of mine, I missed you on the last few songs. You know I only play to you.”
“Sorry I had to go to the ladies room and there always is a line for the girls.”
“Well the good news is Kent’s family will have some funds to help them out. I think he really felt good we all did this.” My thoughts were coming through in a smile to my husband but I could still see Connor moving his hands slowly on Cecile. If they were alone, in seconds they would have been all over each other. She is holding back because he hurt her but someone is going to lose in this. Kent is clueless. He is so happy to see her tonight, as always, he smiles as they approach us.
“Rand, thanks man, so much for tonight.” Kent expressed his heartfelt gratitude in a man hug. “And darling I want to take you to meet my folks when I surprise them with this money,” Kent continued with Cecile pressed at his side.
“Well Kent, Madison and I have a lot of work coming up so I’ll have to let you know about the family visit,” Cecile commented trying to wiggle out of this one.
“Madison, do you have a lot of work coming up?” Rand questioned.
“Um…yeah, I guess Cecile is always out to sell my book and do her job.” I felt horrible being put on the spot. I wasn’t sure how this would play out. I did see, though, that Connor never left. He was seated over at a table near the wall with a beer and was running his hands through his hair. A girl walked to his table. She was very attractive and confident as she approached him, and began to pull the chair out to join him. Connor looked at her and smiled nicely, but then told her something that made her leave without further approach. I knew his heart was breaking for Cecile. I couldn’t understand how he could just sit there and do this to himself. I know I went through the pain of a broken heart and it took me so long to mend it. I was going to see if he was alright and Rand’s arms came up and wrapped around my waist. He tugged me near his hot sweaty body. I loved this.
“Hey is that Connor?” Kent asked. And a moment later Kent was walking across the café to say hello to his new buddy but not alone as he pulled a hesitant Cecile’s along with him.
Maxwell came up and it was nice to see him. “Maxwell thank you so much for helping me surprise this handsome guy into a shotgun wedding.”
“Oh Madison, I don’t think there was any one held against their will,” he said smiling. I was so glad to be part of his family officially as he was now legally my uncle. He had also become rather close to my family over the past year. Rand was starting to talk to Maxwell and I told him I would be right back. I just wanted a quick moment with Jillian. As the crowd started to thin out, I stopped to get a glass of ice water. As the waiter handed it to me, a voice caught me off guard.
“Hello again, Madison,” a sexy deep voice sounded. I spun around to see Paul Rand. Here was Rand’s father, only on the other side of the room. He kept his back facing the bar area and his head hung low. “I told you I see my son play. He plays very well. You need not upset him that I was here this evening. Sometimes I just can’t stay away. I miss having my family.”
“Rand could walk over here at any moment.”
“Madison, I was just leaving but it’s always a pleasure to see you again. I just wanted to make certain you were alright, I heard through our family that you had taken another spill or hit to your head.”
“I am fine. That was nothing,
and I still don’t believe in your theory that bad things happen because of him playing music. We just got married and things couldn’t be more wonderful.” I smiled and remained calm and composed.
“Congratulations to you and my boy. I hope it all works out for you both, I really do.” He got up, never turned back toward me or to where Rand may have seen his face. He tucked his coat collar up on his neck to prepare for the cold. I noticed how long his fingers were, just like Rand’s. I thought about how handsome his father was. I knew that Rand would now be like this in the years ahead, still captivating and so handsome.
I walked over and said, “There’s my eye candy! Let’s head home.” I felt a wave of sickness travel through me. I suddenly felt woozy. I leaned into him and pulled him tightly to me. He was saying goodnight to Maxwell. I closed my eyes letting them think I was tired, but was mentally wishing for this awful moment to pass. A chill ran up my neck as I thought about his father being here moments ago. He had been so close to Rand, but I could not share this encounter with my husband. I didn’t want to ruin any of our happiness lately. I was also becoming more concerned with my recent episodes of feeling ill. I was hoping and praying this would soon pass and be uneventful.
Epilogue – Love Notes
I rake my fingers delicately through his hair separating the long dark strands. I am trying to distract myself from the waves of sickness flowing through me during the ride from the café in Philly to our home. The snow began to fall a few hours ago but nothing began to stick to the cold pavement until now. As I glance out the window and see the crystal flakes swirling, I lean my throbbing head on the coolness of the glass. Memories of my life slid through my mind while I stared, unseeing at my surroundings. First, I was playing dress up. Wearing a dress that was way too long for my little girl’s body. Stomping around in my mother’s high heel shoes that flopped on me as I tried to walk. I am in her long white silk nightgown that is piled on the floor and about three feet too long. The v-neck comes to my thighs. I am playing wedding day dress up. My father comes in the room in his police uniform looking so handsome and important. He leans to me and hugs me so tightly. I love my father, one day I am going to marry a man just like him, so handsome and so important to me. I turn to Rand as he is driving along the lightly covered snow tracked road. I lay my hand over his and draw circles of infinity on it over and over.
Love Notes ((Book Two of the Heartbeat Series)) Page 17