by Olivia Miles
She could have said twice was enough, thank you very much. When she thought of the fact that on Sunday he was leaving, she should say just that. But she didn’t want to worry about the future anymore. Not when she could enjoy the present.
She grinned. “Don’t they say that the third time’s the charm?”
Chapter Twenty
Charlotte was awake before Audrey’s first cry, but for the first time in months, she felt perfectly rested. She looked over at the clock on her nightstand. A little past six, and normally Audrey was testing her lungs before the sun had come up.
She smiled down at the bassinet her mother had set up for her in her old bedroom. Clearly, Misty Point was agreeing with Audrey, too.
Flopping back on her pillow, Charlotte stared at the ceiling as anxiety began to knot her stomach again. She’d actually done it. She’d taken the first step and called her parents. Given them the surprise of their lives by telling them about Audrey and everything that had led up to her birth. She’d planned to take the bus back to town, if they’d be open to her coming home, but they’d insisted on driving and picking her up. She didn’t think she would ever forget the glisten in her dad’s eye when he first held his granddaughter. For a moment, it was as if the clouds had parted and the struggle was over and everything felt right again.
But there was still Kate to deal with, and something told her that she wouldn’t be nearly as understanding as her parents had been.
When the first hint of brewing coffee could be detected, Charlotte grabbed her robe and tiptoed down the stairs, happy to see her mother in the kitchen. Her hair was pulled back with a clip, and her favorite coffee mug was already clutched in her hands. Charlotte was struck by how little had changed in Misty Point…but how much had transpired for her while she’d been away.
“The baby’s still asleep?” her mother asked, surprised. “My, you’re lucky. You used to have me up at three on the dot, every morning until you were six months old.”
“Believe me, this is a first. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t start my day in the dark.” Charlotte opened a cabinet and took out her mug, her heart pulling when she realized it was still there, waiting for her.
“I know I said it yesterday, but I only wish you had told us sooner.” Maura shook her head. “When I think of you doing this all on your own…”
Charlotte set a hand on her mother’s shoulder and looked her square in the eye. “Mom, it’s fine. Audrey is fine. And, well, I’m going to be fine. I just needed some time to figure things out.” She dropped her hand and reached for the coffee, disappointment landing squarely in her chest when she thought of everything she’d been through, only to end up back in her childhood bedroom, without a dime to her name. “So much for that.”
“What do you mean by that?” her mother asked sharply.
Charlotte splashed some milk into her coffee and leaned against the counter. “Look at me, Mom. I tried to do it on my own and I failed. I had to call you and Dad to come save me. Some role model for my daughter that makes me.”
“Quite the opposite,” her mother scolded. “You went through all these months on your own, and you finally had the good sense to ask for help when you needed it.”
“But that’s just it, Mom. I didn’t want to have to ask for help. I wanted to show…I guess I wanted to show that I’ve changed.”
“You have changed,” Maura insisted, taking her by the hand and leading her over to the table. She waited until she was settled into a chair to continue. “You could have called us months ago asking for money, or help, but you didn’t. You chose to struggle. To pick up the pieces and try to put your life back together. That takes courage, Charlotte. And I’m proud of you.”
Proud of her? Charlotte wondered just how proud her mother would be if she knew about the credit card debt and the fact that she hadn’t paid her last month of rent on that month-to-month in Boston.
Well, there was the security deposit. Yes, that would cover it.
Still, not exactly a pinnacle of women’s independence. Not a poster child for a successful single mother.
But still. She was doing the best she could. Maybe to her mother, that was enough.
But it wasn’t enough for Charlotte. Yet.
“I should get Audrey’s bottle ready,” she said, sighing, as she set down her coffee and reached for the baby supplies she’d piled onto her parents’ counter last night. “She’ll be up any minute, hungry for it.”
Her mother looked up at the clock that hung above the old rotary telephone. Charlotte could still remember stretching that cord to capacity so she could huddle in the corner of the adjacent dining room, whispering to boys or talking about them with her friends. Kate would also be in the kitchen, usually helping her mother with dinner prep when Charlotte reappeared. She’d never offered to help, and no one had ever expected her to. There was Kate for that.
Back then Kate was boring. Eventually Kate became safe.
Then Kate became the person Charlotte wished she could be. Someone who had it together. Someone whose life was going places. Someone who knew who they were.
“It’s Elizabeth’s wedding tomorrow,” her mother added. “You met William, right?”
A few times. Handsome. Rich. Charlotte felt a twinge of remorse when she thought about the way she’d tried to engage him in conversation the one time she’d tagged along to dinner with everyone last summer. Elizabeth had gone to the bathroom, and William was making an effort to keep the single girl at the table engaged. In a brotherly way.
Kate had been too busy talking with Jake to notice, and William’s eyes had narrowed a bit when he realized what was happening.
God. What an idiot she’d been! Now…now the last thing she wanted was attention from anyone. Except from her daughter.
“Elizabeth will make a beautiful bride,” her mother was saying.
Charlotte stopped rinsing out the bottle and set it to the side. She refrained from saying anything. Kate had always clicked more with Elizabeth than with her—her own sister. Sure, it made sense at first given that she was two years younger, but now she was twenty-eight and Kate was thirty. Thirty! Other people she knew were inseparable with their sisters by the second half of their twenties. Not their best friends.
But then, maybe she was to blame for that. She picked up her coffee mug and stared blearily into it. She hesitated before asking the question that had plagued her for months, afraid to know the answer. “Do you think Kate will ever forgive me?”
Her mother nodded firmly. “I think once your sister hears you out, she’ll come around.”
“But what if she won’t speak to me? What if I can’t make her understand?” Charlotte chewed on her nail, worrying.
Maura sighed. “I don’t know. But I can only hope that someday our family will be whole again.”
Charlotte looked her mother straight in the eye. “It will be, Mom. If it’s up to me, it will be.”
* * *
Charlotte waited until Audrey went down for her afternoon nap before daring to venture into town. She had given up all hope that Kate would ever take one of her calls, and as much as she hated the thought of what Kate’s reaction might be if she ambushed her at home or work, she supposed there might be little harm if she were to, say, just…stumble upon her?
According to their mother, Kate now lived in a cute little house right next door to Elizabeth and William. And she had a dog. A funny, rambunctious little puppy that Charlotte suddenly longed to meet. She could just imagine Audrey playing with the little guy.
Maybe she’d get Audrey a puppy of her own one day. Well, once she was completely back on her feet. For now, one baby was enough responsibility. No sense in overdoing it.
She laughed at herself as she noticed a parking spot up ahead and pulled in. What a difference a year made. And an unexpected pregnancy. This time last summer she was busy fantasizing about a new dress she wanted to wear to a party. Now she was thinking of how she might add even more mouths to
feed to her plate.
It wasn’t all about herself anymore. Thank God for that, she thought, sighing satisfyingly.
She climbed out of the car, grinning as the warm sunshine hit her face, and paid the meter, deciding on an optimistic whim to max out the time, just in case things went well and she and Kate decided to bond over a latte or something.
She frowned. Who was she kidding? She’d be lucky if her sister would even say hello to her.
But she just needed to make her hear her out.
She swept her eyes over the street, all the way up to Bride by Design, where Kate worked with that pill Meredith Smith. She knew Kate loved her job and that, like Bob, bosses could be difficult, but Meredith was far from a peach. If anyone asked her, she’d say Kate was better off on her own. But then, there was no sense in trying to tell Kate that. Charlotte was hardly in a position to be voicing her opinion on what Kate should be doing with her life.
Sisters did that. And she’d sort of lost that right, hadn’t she?
She squared her shoulders. Well, today she intended to get it back. Or die trying, she thought.
She crossed the street to the Harbor Street Café, knowing Kate often stopped in there throughout the day for coffee or lunch. It probably gave her an excuse to get away from her boss, she thought, laughing to herself, but all amusement stopped as she came closer to the door.
Kate could be inside, right this minute, just a matter of feet away. She could open the door and see her. Walk over and speak to her. Tap her on the shoulder, say her name, and watch her sister turn and look at her, first in surprise…and then? She’d hardly greet her with open arms. Would she storm off, yell? Charlotte didn’t know.
She suddenly felt as if she could be sick.
She swallowed hard, staring at the big brass door handle as if it were on fire, and nearly jumped out of her skin when the door pushed open on her, locking eyes with a confused middle-aged woman who clearly thought Charlotte was a little odd.
Maybe she was odd. She was scared of her own sister, after all. How normal was that?
Heaving a sigh of annoyance with herself, she grabbed the handle before the door had closed all the way and marched into the overly air-conditioned room. Her initial glance revealed nothing, and she felt her shoulders sink in relief. But as she swept her eyes more closely over the tables, an emotion closer to disappointment crept in.
What had she been thinking, hoping to run into Kate at random? She could spend all day in here, staring out the window, eyes trained on the intersection near Bride by Design like some stalker, or she could be the adult she was trying to become and deal with this head-on.
She played out that scenario as she walked back out onto the sidewalk, glancing nervously up the street. She’d tried to imagine herself in Kate’s position over and over again all these months, and each time she’d reached the same horrible conclusion. If the situation were reversed, and if she only knew what Kate knew, wouldn’t she hate herself, too? And wouldn’t she be the last person on earth—well, other than Jake, obviously—that she’d want to see or speak to ever again?
Showing up unannounced would be cruel. Kate was a planner. She’d never been one for surprises, especially bad ones. And hadn’t she had enough of those for one year?
Deflated, Charlotte walked to her car. She’d been crazy thinking she could come back here and make things right. And no doubt her sister would find out she was home, soon enough. She was living at their parents’ house after all. And Misty Point was small. Just standing out here on Harbor Street, she was exposed. For all she knew, Kate had already spotted her out a window.
She dug the keys to her mom’s car from her bag as she approached it. So much for maxing out the meter; no doubt she was about to make someone’s day when they pulled into her spot. She pressed the button on the key, unlocking the doors, but she couldn’t bring herself to pull the handle. Now what? She’d go home, feed Audrey, fret some more about how she would handle things with Kate going forward, see that shadow in her mother’s eye that she had put there? She could look for jobs, but would she look for them in Misty Point?
She looked down the street, once more eyeing Bride by Design. The front door was flanked by two black planters overflowing with blue hydrangeas. Charlotte perked up, suddenly having an idea.
She had to get through to Kate; that much was sure. And she suddenly had just the way to do it.
Rose in Bloom was just down Harbor Street, in the opposite direction of Bride by Design. With its black and white striped awning and boxwood hedges along the black-framed windows, it was a chic, inviting store that Charlotte had been coming to long before Bree took over the place.
Bree and Charlotte used to be close. Of course, Charlotte could only assume she was on her cousin’s blacklist now. Yet another relationship she’d have to repair. Well, there was no time like the present.
The glass-paned door to the shop was open, allowing fresh air and sunlight to flow in almost as much as it allowed the containers of flowers to flow out. From across the street, Charlotte was able to see that the shop was empty, and she hurried across the road, not even bothering to wait for the light to change, hoping to make her purchase and get home. And then…wait.
She spotted the perfect selection as soon as she came into the shop. Apricot roses that reminded her of the wallpaper in Kate’s bedroom at home. They were simple, and pretty, and she could just imagine the smile on her sister’s face when she received them.
Until she thought of how her face might look when she read the card.
She suddenly pictured the beautiful bouquet of roses she was holding slammed down in the bottom of a trash can. She hesitated as she brought the petals to her nose and took in their scent.
It was worth a try. And she was quickly running out of ideas. Her parents had offered to explain everything to Kate, but this was her mess. And hers to set right.
Bree was on the phone in the back room; Charlotte could make out the sound of her voice taking down an order as she approached the front desk to select a greeting card. She chose a plain white one, considering there were none that read anything along the lines of “Sorry for ruining your life,” and grabbed a pen from the jar. Her hand hovered over the cardstock, and her handwriting came out stiff and shaky as she scribbled the message, keeping it as simple as she could and hoping that she was getting it right. There might not be another chance.
Bree was hanging up the phone as Charlotte was wedging the card into the small envelope. She licked the seal as Bree appeared, flush-faced and smiling and muttering her apologies for the delay, but as she locked eyes with Charlotte, her expression changed.
Charlotte felt her stomach knot. She’d known it wouldn’t be easy to come back. But it wasn’t easy to stay in Boston.
This is a step in the right direction, she reminded herself firmly. Even if not everyone knows that yet.
“Charlotte.” Bree was all business as she came behind the desk. “This is a surprise. I didn’t know you were back in town.” She hesitated, her eyes turning knowing. “But Jake is back, so I suppose that makes sense.”
It was summer. Of course Jake was back. For some reason she hadn’t factored that into her plans, though. If you could call her last-minute decision to finally face her family a plan.
She didn’t have a plan at all, she realized with panic. Not for what she would say to Kate. Or how she would say it. Not for what she was going to do with the next two weeks, much less the rest of her life.
She almost snorted to herself. What else was new?
Misty Point was small. So small that it was a damn miracle she hadn’t run into Kate so far today, and she probably could, if she hovered around town much longer. Her eyes darted out the window, wondering if Jake was about to pop into the café or if he’d been in there when she’d stopped in, and she just hadn’t seen him because she was too busy looking for Kate.
He hadn’t even met his daughter yet. Would he have a change of heart when he saw her?
“I…I didn’t come with Jake,” Charlotte said. She’d given up on Jake, on the possibility of the idyllic family life she’d desperately hoped could come of this mess. In Boston, she could hope, but she could also be free. In Misty Point, there was nowhere to hide. From Jake. From her sister. From the judgment in everyone’s eyes.
But now Bree’s eyes had softened, she noticed. She looked confused, even a little distressed.
Charlotte decided to spare her further confusion. “Jake and I aren’t together.”
They were never together. Not unless you counted one night. But oh, so much could change from one single night.
Her hands were shaking as she set the bouquet on the table along with the card. She pulled her wallet from her bag, trying to remember how much was left on her credit card and deciding she may as well just max it out. She was close anyway. What did another thirty bucks matter when you were in this deep?
“Can you deliver these to Kate for me?” She locked Bree’s gaze, knowing a protest was on the tip of her cousin’s tongue, and before she had a chance to refuse, pleaded, “Please. I don’t know what else to do.”
After a long pause, Bree gave one nod of her head. “I’ll give them to her.”
“Thank you,” Charlotte said quietly. She watched in silence as the transaction went through, realizing she had been holding her breath as the card was processed.
“I’m not trying to get you involved,” she said as she slid the card back into her wallet, even though she should probably just ask to borrow Bree’s garden sheers and snip the thing in half. It was maxed out, just like her others. And without a job, she had no hope of paying it off.
“I’m already involved,” Bree said, and the coldness in her tone made Charlotte flinch.
“Of course. You always loved Kate.”