“Lexi? We’re not…” She flits her eyes between mine. “I’m sorry, it’s none of our business.”
“Hey! I want to know if they’ve had sex!” Kitty shouts, the sound echoing.
“Oh my God, shhhhhh.” My head whips side to side, making sure no one has heard, but when I see Geena standing in the police precinct parking lot, I start to panic.
She may be about forty feet away, but I can see her eyes narrowing on me. Shit, does she know? The last thing I need is a police officer to know about us, especially when that police officer is Evan’s ex-girlfriend. I don’t want anyone to have an excuse to cause me trouble, not here, not in the first place that feels like home since living with Gran.
I can’t do this, I can’t do any of this.
She steps forward, her eyes not moving from mine. My breath hitches and my fingertips start to tingle: she’s coming toward us. I can almost see the wheels turning in her head, she’s figuring it out and I haven’t got a clue what to do or say as I hear Kitty and Kay calling my name.
“No!” I shout when I feel someone’s hand touch me. My head swings their way, but I can’t make them out as my eyes start to mist over and my breaths come faster and faster.
I need to sit down, I need go home.
I can feel Geena getting closer, her aura swirling like an angry cloud. She knows, they know, everyone knows. The rational part of my brain kicks in; there’s no way that they can know.
“If it isn’t little Lexi.” My breath stutters as she comes to a stop in front of me, her lips lifted into a sneer.
“I…” I swallow. “I… erm…”
“What’s the matter, huh? Cat got your tongue? Or should I say Evan?”
My gaze moves from Kitty and Kay then back to Geena. Her eyes are screaming at me, the fire burning in their depths trying to scorch me.
“What are you doing, Geena?” Kitty asks, stepping forward and coming to stand beside me and opposite Geena.
I watch intently as her hand flutters down to her waistband, her fingers resting on the gun and I start to panic. She has so much power, the police uniform she wears and the way she stands proud tells me that.
“I just wanted to come on over and say hi.” She smiles sweetly, but from the look on Kitty’s face, I know that she knows that isn’t the truth.
Geena steps forward, moving her head toward me and whispers. “If you think I’m gonna let a little bitch like you get away with what you’ve done, then you’re wrong.” She leans back and smirks. “I’ll be seeing you around.”
My eyes widen at her threat: the look in her eyes and the tone of her voice tells me that this isn’t the last I’ll see of her, and it’s all my fault.
“Lexi?” I hear a soft voice call, but I’m too far gone and before I know it, I’m dropping all the bags and running back to the community center, unlocking the door and slamming it behind me as I lock myself inside.
I squeeze my eyes closed as soon as I see the room: the same room he teaches his classes in, the room we had sex in.
My hands lift to the sides of my head, covering my ears and trying to block out all of the noise that is running through my body at such a high volume I’m sure it’s going to deafen me.
It was a mistake; the whole thing was a mistake. I can feel it in my gut, we shouldn’t have done it. He had a girlfriend a month ago, and then I come along and we do that. I can only imagine how Geena feels right now.
My nose starts to tingle as I feel the tears build, and I wrap my hands around myself, stepping to the side and leaning against the wall.
“Lexi? Come on, it’s okay, come back out,” I hear Kay shout through the glass doors, but all I manage to do is shake my head.
There’s no way that anyone will want me here now, not after they’ve seen what happens when I get inside my own head. What happens when I panic.
I’ve done so well at keeping it under control, at not letting people see that part of me, but now it’s out, and there’s nothing I can do to put it back inside.
It’s like a tube of toothpaste, once it’s all been pushed out, there’s no way in the world you can get that minty whiteness back in the tube.
“Wait.” Ty holds his hand up in the air, his eyes widening. “He’s gonna pay you three million dollars?”
I raise a brow, nodding my head. “Yep.”
“I don’t get it,” Luke says, leaning back in his chair.
“This software,” I start. “Is the software to all software. It’ll be inserted into cell phones to manage updates, to record all of your information. There’s nothing that this software won’t see of your life.” I let that sink in. “Once Darrell has his code in there, it means he can access anything, anywhere, anytime. Bank details, addresses, records, pictures... anything.”
Ty stands up, starting to pace around the table, his head down as he thinks about what I’m saying.
When I finally got back to the warehouse it was after ten and I’d missed the morning meeting. Kay and Kitty had gone to see Charlie at the precinct with some information he has on a case they’re working, so there’s only Ty, Luke, and me here right now.
I went right to my safe room, putting the case and the chip in there safely before I came here.
The only question now is, will I install what he wants, or not?
“You can’t install it,” Ty says, as if he'd read my mind.
I tilt my head to the side, running my finger along the edge of my laptop. “If I don’t install it, he’ll know something isn’t right.”
“And if you do and we can’t catch him again, then he’ll have access to all of those things.”
I smirk, a laugh bubbling up in my chest as I watch Ty freak out. “Do you not know me?”
I shake my head, not quite believing he hasn’t realized by now. I turn my gaze to Luke, he has the same smirk that I do.
“What?” Ty asks, his tone deeper than usual as his cell starts ringing. He ignores it and continues to stare at me, his hands hanging loosely on his hips. “What are you both smirking at?”
“Do you really think I’d install this and not put a code inside that means I can switch it off remotely?”
He narrows his eyes at me, stepping forward. “Why the hell didn’t you start with that?”
Ty’s cell starts ringing again, the sound echoing around us, but he ignores it once again.
“Well…” I stand up, crossing my arms over my chest. “It’s fun to watch you worry.”
“You little—”
“Hey, hey.” I hold my hands up, letting the laughter slip free that has been bubbling up for the last few minutes. “There’s no need for that, I’m anything but little.”
“One of these days, Evan.” He shakes his head, but the grin on his face is at a complete contrast with his words.
He pulls his cell out at the same time mine starts ringing, and when I see Kay’s number, I press the answer button.
“Aloha.”
“Evan!” she gasps and I’m on high alert immediately, my eyes cutting to Ty’s.
“Kay? What’s going on?”
Ty steps forward, his shoulders tensing as Luke stands up.
“Geena, she came over and I don’t know what she said… she won’t come out. I can see she’s panicking. I don’t know what to do, we can’t leave her here like this on her own.”
“Whoa.” I hold my hand in the air. “Calm down, start from the beginning. Take a deep breath.”
“Give me the fucking cell, Evan,” Ty thunders, holding his hand out.
I move the cell from my ear, pressing the speakerphone button and setting it on the table as I lean over.
“Okay…” I hear Kay take a deep breath. “So we were coming out of the precinct and we saw Lexi.” I lift my eyes up to Ty and then Luke, seeing the questions in their gaze. “So we went and talked to her and I think I put my foot in it.”
I groan and rub my hand over my face. “What did you say?”
“I… I erm… I may have insinuate
d that you two, you know…”
“Okaaay.” I bite back my laugh.
“Then she got really erm, I don’t know… defensive? But she walked away and then Kitty may have shouted that she wants to know if you two had sex.”
“Fuck.” I can’t help the smile that kicks up on my face, imagining Lexi as she panicked about talking about us. There’s no way that I’d keep her a secret, not after the other night. She does something to me, the way she makes me feel. There’s no way I’m giving that up, not after what happened with Geena.
“But Geena was outside too.”
I stand up straight, picking my cell up off the table.
“What happened?” I growl.
“She said something to Lexi, I don’t know what but she ran away and now she’s locked herself in the community center and she won’t come out. I can see her and… she… Lexi?”
I pick my keys up off the table, running out of the warehouse and heading straight to my car, starting the engine and spinning out of the compound.
“What’s she doing, Kay?”
“She’s saying something over and over again. Kitty’s trying to talk her down but we can’t get to her.”
“Okay… just keep trying to talk to her, I’ll be there in a few.”
I drop my cell on the passenger seat, leaning forward and pressing the pedal to the floor as I speed my way to the center.
It takes me a few minutes, and as soon as I’ve come to a stop, I pull my keys out of the ignition and jump out before running over the grass to the doors where Kay and Kitty stand.
“I’m sorry, Evan, it’s all our fault.”
“It’s not, Kay.” I smile and place my hand on her arm, putting my key in the lock and pushing the door open.
“Lex?” I whisper her name as my eyes land on her, sitting in the corner, rocking herself back and forth. “Lex?” I call again, taking a step forward.
She doesn’t look up as she continues to rock herself, her hands over her ears as she murmurs something over and over again.
I crouch down in front of her and lift my hand to her knee.
“Please don’t,” she whimpers, her eyes squeezed shut. The look of pain on her face guts me.
“Lex, baby, it’s just me.”
She shakes her head. “No… no.”
I swallow against the dryness of my throat and look up at Kay and Kitty who are standing in the doorway watching us.
Shuffling closer, I lay my other hand on her forearm, pulling her hand away from her ear. “Lex…”
Her eyes spring open and my head reels back at the torment that she shows me. I can’t even comprehend what she’s been through right now, but whatever it is, it’s haunting her.
“I can’t go back.” She gasps, her breaths uneven. “I can’t, I can’t.”
“Go back where?” I ask, moving even closer.
“Prison,” she chokes out.
“I…” My eyes move back to Kay and Kitty who are now standing with Ty and Luke, all of them watching me, her, us. I start to doubt myself, doubting that I can deal with this, but when I turn back to face Lexi and I look into her eyes, I know without a doubt that I’d do anything for her. “You’re not going back, baby.”
“Geena, she… what she said.”
I shake my head, cupping her face in my hands as I lean forward, my lips a hairsbreadth from hers. “It doesn’t matter what she said, it won’t ever happen.”
“You can’t know that,” she whispers, her eyes not moving from mine.
“I can.” I grin and press my lips to hers in a soft, gentle kiss before pulling back and resting my forehead against hers. “Take a deep breath: in, out.”
I watch her chest as she breathes deeply. My hands wander down her arms and to her hands that are shaking. I bring them to my lips, kissing her palms gently before I stand up, bringing her with me.
“I’m so sorry,” she says, tears starting to mist her eyes.
“Hey, hey.” I cup her face in my hands, my thumb wiping away her tears as soon as they flow over her lashes and land on the top of her cheeks. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“There is—”
“No.” I shake my head. “There isn’t, I promise.”
She stutters a breath, letting her head drop to my chest and I wrap my arms around her, holding her to me.
I kiss the top of her head before my eyes wander over to the door.
“Wow,” Kay whispers. “I never realized you two were—”
“Sweetheart?” Ty interrupts, a smile on his face. “Not right now.”
“Right.” She chuckles. “Sorry.”
Lexi pulls away at the sound of her voice, her eyes widening. “Shit, I…” Her gaze flits back to mine. “I look so stupid right now.”
“No you don’t,” I tell her, conveying with my eyes how much I mean it.
“I erm…” Both of our gazes flit to Kitty. “I think you need to get more milk.” She holds up an empty milk carton and chuckles. “It kind of broke when you ran away.”
Lexi laughs, the tinkling sound wrapping around us all as she lets herself go. I can still feel and see the pain that she’s trying to push back, but now that she’s let me see it, there’s no way that I’ll let it go.
I want to know what has caused the anguish that she holds onto, and I’ll stop at nothing to find out because she means more to me than anyone ever has. It boggles my mind how I can feel like this when I’ve known her for such a short amount of time, but I can’t control it. Not that I’d even want to.
I wrap my arm around Lexi, walking her outside of the center and locking up as all the guys leave.
“I’ll take you home,” I tell her, taking the bags off the bench and walking down to my car.
“You don’t have—”
“Yeah,” I say. “I do. I want to.” I pop the trunk and put the bags inside before closing it and turning back to her where she stands next to my car.
“I…” Her eyes flit behind me, and when I spin around, I see Geena standing at the precinct doors, staring at us.
“Come on,” I say, walking toward Lexi and opening the door for her.
Once she’s inside, I walk around to the driver’s side, not taking my eyes off Geena. She still sees me as the man she can control, the one who always did and said what she wanted. I was never myself with her, and now that I know what it feels like to be me, there’s no way I’ll be going back to what I used to be.
I smirk at her even though she probably can’t see me. She may think she has power, but she has no idea the kind that I have.
A swarm of butterflies take flight in my stomach as I sit on my bed, preparing to get ready for this date. After yesterday, I was sure that I would have pushed him away. Showing him some of my crazy was a foolproof way of him losing interest in me, but it didn’t work like that. If anything, I felt closer to him because of it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still so embarrassed at having a meltdown like that and having people there that I barely know to see it. But it doesn’t matter, because when he brought me home after getting more milk from the grocery store, he said he’d pick me up at eight tonight.
And now, at seven fifteen, I’m still not even close to being ready. My eyes flit to the small clock that lives on my nightstand, the hands tick faster and faster, taunting me.
I’ll never be ready at this rate.
“Lexi?”
I swallow at the sound of Livvy’s voice coming from the open door and lift my eyes, staring into her blue ones.
“Hey,” I say, my voice a mere whisper.
She smiles and steps forward, sitting on the edge of my bed. “You look nervous.”
I laugh, the sound shrill to my own ears. “Do I?” I look down at the makeup that’s spread on my bed, not having any idea where to start. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” I finally admit.
“Oh, lovely.” She shuffles closer, placing her hand on my cheek and lifting my face up to hers. “It’s okay.”
&nb
sp; I shake my head, the telltale burning in my nose telling me that tears are sure to come at any stage now. “It’s not. I have no idea what I’m doing. Is there any point in this date? I may not be here much longer and he’s only just gotten out of a relationship—”
“First off,” Livvy starts, her eyes lighting with fire. “That woman was nothing but bad news.” I open my mouth to say, “But she’s a police officer,” but she beats me to it. “She may have had the title of officer, but she’s rotten to the core.”
“I—”
“She doesn’t deserve someone like that sweet boy… now, you? You deserve him and he deserves you. You’ve been through so much in your short lifetime, getting the worse end of the bargain constantly.”
“But—”
“Nope.” She shakes her head, leaning forward. “No buts. You have fun, you go out and laugh, dance the night away, eat some junk food. But most of all, be you. Show him who you are in here.” She points to my chest. “Show him the real you, because I know for a fact that once he sees that, he’ll never be able to look back.”
I bite my bottom lip, not knowing what to say to that. Letting him see who I am is scary, what if he doesn’t like the real me? What if he’s only doing this because he feels sorry for me? What if—
“I can see those thoughts swirling. Get rid of them. It’s one night, not the rest of your life. Go and have fun.”
I look back up at her, scanning her eyes. Can I do this? Can I really?
I let out a breath, nodding my head to myself. I can do this, I’ve already showed him a part of myself that I never thought I’d be able to. So why does this feel so much harder to do than that?
“Now this.” Livvy lets go of my face, pointing at the makeup. “This I can help with.” She stands up, picking up some foundation and reading the label. “Back in my day, I was a pro at this.”
“You were?” I ask, watching as she pushes a couple of pumps of the liquid onto the back of her hand and picks up a brush.
“I sure was,” she answers, applying it to my face. “I used to do all my friends’ makeup before the Saturday night dances. I think I preferred to do this rather than actually attend them.” She chuckles and continues applying my makeup, telling me all about the dances she used to attend and the people she met.
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