We went into the lobby, and it had been cleared of guests and employees. Dante led me over to a couch in front of a roaring fireplace and sat down right next to me. He pulled two key cards out of his coat pocket. “They have two rooms for us. They gave me the penthouse suite, and you a room on a different floor. This key”—he put it on the coffee table in front of us—“unlocks the door to my suite. This key”—he put the other key down on the right of the first—“will let you into your room. Now all you have to do is decide.”
This was hard. I didn’t want to discourage him or make him think something that wasn’t true. I wanted to let him know that my feelings had changed, but this wasn’t how I wanted to start our relationship.
“I promise you, we can just stay up all night talking.” He took my left hand and held it between both of his.
“You’re the one who said that there’s only one outcome when an attractive man and an attractive woman are alone together in a bedroom.”
His eyes went wide, and he said fervently, “I take it back. Every word.”
I laughed. I knew he would behave. I knew I probably would behave, too.
Probably.
But part of minimizing the fallout of the decision I’d made was not doing anything that would humiliate Sterling or me on camera. Dante could be patient a little longer.
On the other hand, I really, really wanted to be with him.
All that was left was to choose a key.
Chapter 24
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
I picked up the key on the right to go to my own room.
“I had a feeling that might be what you chose.” He sounded disappointed, and gave me those sad puppy dog eyes that melted my heart. Droopy and Snoopy had nothing on him. “What is it they say in baseball? A swing and a miss?”
“I just can’t.” He still looked sad. I wanted him to know that things had changed. I leaned in to whisper, “At least, not yet.”
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. He started to say something, but the camera guys wanted to call it a night, so they arranged the final shot and asked us to head to the elevators.
There was something on the back of the key card. A piece of paper had been folded up and taped to it. He put his hand over mine and was trying to signal something with his eyes. Oh. He didn’t want me to look at the paper yet. Not on camera.
The crew filmed us walking over to the elevators, and then arranged it so two separate elevators’ doors would open at the same time, and we symbolically each got into our own. They reopened the doors and said it was a wrap. I unclipped my mike pack and handed it to them, desperate to get away and see what the note said.
A PA told me that my room was on the sixth floor. I nodded and thanked her, and then I stepped inside and pushed “Six.” The doors finally closed after what felt like an eternity, and I pulled out the note.
I switched the keys. This is the key to my room. I’m in room 1201.
Please come, it’s urgent. I need to talk to you.
My heart beat so fast. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to say no.
The doors slid open on the sixth floor. A man stood there with a suitcase. “Going down?”
“No,” I told him. “I’m going up.” I pushed the twelfth floor button.
The hallway from the elevator to his suite was the longest hallway in the history of ever. I finally made it to the door, nervous, excited, and worried all at once, and inserted the key.
The light turned green, and I pushed down the handle.
He was standing next to the windows, looking out at the city. I didn’t even notice the room, because he was all I could see. He turned when he heard my heels on the travertine tile in the entryway, and pointed at an armchair. “Please, sit down.”
“Dante, I—”
“Wait.” He rubbed the back of his neck with one of his hands. “Limone, there’s something I need to say to you, and I need you to just stay there and listen until I’m done.”
I nodded and sat down in the chair. He had already taken off his suit jacket and his tie, and unbuttoned the first few buttons on his dress shirt.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’ve been thinking a lot about that movie we watched on our date. Gone with the Wind. And I’ve been thinking about how much our situation is like that one. You’re marrying Ashley Wilkes, and Rhett Butler is standing here telling you that it’s a mistake.”
I understood what he was trying to say, but some panicked part of me wondered whether he had forgotten that Rhett left Scarlett in the end.
“You’re getting married in three days. The honorable thing to do would be to step aside and say nothing. But I can’t be honorable right now.”
He swallowed a couple of times, and I stayed quiet, not wanting to say anything to stop him from what he was building up to. My heart beat so loud in my chest that I wondered if he could hear it where he was standing. He crossed over to me, knelt on one knee, and took both of my hands. I went absolutely still, unable to move.
“I love you, Limone. I am so in love with you, and it is killing me that you’re doing this. He will never know you or love you the way that I do. He will never make you happy the way that I will. He won’t carry out quests or slay dragons for you.”
Dante loved me. Dante loved me. I wanted so badly to throw my arms around him and tell him that I loved him too. But something held me back, and it wasn’t just that he had asked me to listen. Some part of me was still afraid and still doubted.
“I know you don’t want to be vulnerable and give up control. I know he feels safe. That you think you can keep your heart safe. But you can’t control life. You can’t control me or us. But I promise you this—your heart will always be safe with me. I promise to protect it with my life.”
I tightened my hands on his, clinging to this one point of contact.
“I also promise you that despite what you think, I would never cheat on you. I saw what cheating did to Rafe, and it nearly destroyed him. I could never do that to someone I love.”
“Nico told me . . .” My voice came out as a whisper.
“I know.” He smiled, rubbing his thumbs on the back of my hands. “I’m glad he told you. I should have told you about Rafe sooner. I’m just so used to protecting him and pretending to be that man. I had hoped that you could see past it, which is why I asked you to stay on the show. I didn’t want you to be a spy. I wanted you to get to know me, the real me. Not just my flaws, but the good parts too.”
Carrying around my fearful, battle-scarred baggage was so exhausting. I wanted to believe in him.
“I’m tired of being hurt,” I confessed. “I just want a man I know I can trust. Someone I can believe in. Someone I won’t doubt.”
“I am that man, Limone. I give you my word. You know that I would never break a promise to you.”
I did know it. Even with my doubts, I knew it.
“Nico told me once that the thing he regretted most with Kat was not telling her how he felt before she left. He said he was worried that she would run away if he told her, a fear I now understand. I’ve been afraid that if I was serious with you, you would leave. And I’m not sure I’m strong enough to lose you. I need you. But you have to know that everything I’ve ever said to you, everything you interpreted as a joke or teasing, I meant every single word.”
A big old lump formed in my throat, and my chest ached. There were so many emotions, so many things that I wanted to say but couldn’t. Not yet.
“What about the others?” There was something going on with Genesis. At least on Genesis’s end.
“I haven’t noticed another woman since the moment I met you. Because you, Limone Isabel Beauchamp, are the kind of woman who would make a train take a dirt road.” He smiled at my raised eyebrows. “I looked it up. I wanted to be able to say it in your language.”
Then I couldn’t stop the tears, and they got heavier and stronger when he whispered, “Don’t cry. I can’t stand i
t when you cry.” He wiped the tears from my face with his fingers. My nose started to run, and he even had a solution for that. He handed me a white handkerchief embroidered with his initials. Who carried around handkerchiefs? There was no discreet way to blow my nose, but I did the best I could.
I tucked the handkerchief into my purse, and he reached for me. He put his hand on the back of my neck to pull me toward him. For a brief, shocking moment I thought he might kiss me, but he only rested my forehead against his. We stayed that way, so close but not close enough, his minty breath mingling with my own. There was so much warmth and love that I could have happily stayed an eternity with him just like this.
“I really want to kiss you right now and make things better.”
“I really want you to kiss me,” I whispered back.
He let out a groan and stood up. “That isn’t fair, Limone. You can’t say things like that. You’re too tempting. Because I still stand by what I told you before. I won’t make you a cheater. But if you end things with him, then . . . what did they say in your movie? ‘You should be kissed and often and by somebody who knows how.’”
I agreed. My fears and doubts clawed at me, but I wanted to stand up and tell him how I felt. I couldn’t. At least, not until I told Sterling the truth. I needed to do this the right way.
Besides, I was pretty sure my legs could not have supported me just then.
Dante gathered up his things. “I know it wasn’t fair to spring this on you, and I wanted you to have time to think things over and make a decision. I am going back to the house and will wait for you in the gazebo. There is a car downstairs waiting for you. You can either take it to the airport or back to the mansion to find me. If you don’t come back, then I’ll know it’s over and I will never bother you again.”
He came over and kissed me on the forehead, much too briefly, and then headed for the door.
“How do you feel about dogs?” I called after him.
“Dogs?” That made him stop in his tracks and stare at me. “I just told you I’m in love with you and you want to know what I think about dogs?”
I nodded.
“All right. I am pro dogs. I like them. Violetta and Chiara are allergic, so we never had pets. Why?”
It was a crazy litmus test, and I knew it. But I always said that a man who didn’t like dogs was the kind of man who would stand behind you in a bar fight. Cowardly, untrustworthy, and unreliable.
“It’s hard to explain,” I said. “I just wanted to know.”
He looked at me for several heartbeats before he said, “There are no guarantees in this world. But without risk, there’s no joy either. I love you and I will always love you, no matter what you decide.”
And then he was gone, leaving me alone with my confusion and joy and terror and love and doubt and excitement.
I stayed in that chair for a while, running the scene over and over again in my mind. It was probably the most romantic, wonderful thing a man had ever said to me. How could I waste another minute apart from him?
I had wanted to tell Sterling in person, but I wasn’t sure I could wait any longer.
Running into the bedroom, I sat down on the bed and picked up the phone to call him. It went straight to voice mail. I tried it again. “Pick up, pick up,” I said.
Nothing. It didn’t even ring. He must have had it turned off.
Which was strange, because Sterling never turned off his phone. I called his office, and there was no answer there either. I tried his landline at his condo, and that went to voice mail, too.
He wasn’t at home, he wasn’t at the office, and he didn’t have his phone on. Where could he be? I wanted to call my parents or his parents, but it was too late. I didn’t want to wake them up, because then everybody would know something was wrong.
It was so frustrating. Being stuck in this holding pattern. Wanting to end things with Sterling, wanting to trust and believe Dante, but not being a hundred percent sure if I should.
There was only one thing to do.
I called Kat.
She should still be in Monterra, and it would be super early in the morning. I’d risk it.
“Somebody better be dead,” she muttered.
“I think my wedding might be.”
“What?”
“You were right. I need to end it with Sterling and give Dante a chance. Because he is in love with me. He just told me.”
She said nothing, but I knew what she was thinking. She proved it a second later when she said, “I hate to say I told you so, but . . .”
“You do not. You would toss Nico to the side and marry I told you so and have its babies if you could.”
“Do you love him?”
His cologne still lingered in the air, and I could still feel the phantom pressure of his lips on my skin, his hands holding mine. “I do love him.”
She was fully awake now. “Yes! I knew it! I told you s—never mind.”
“But I’m so scared.”
“I totally get it. I went to a different continent because I was scared of loving Nico. But you didn’t let me keep being scared. So what would you say to you if you were me?”
There was a full-length mirror on the closet door, and I studied my reflection. I would tell me to trust myself. To trust Dante. I had once told Kat that if a man ever looked at me the way that Nico had looked at her, I would never let him go. Which had clearly turned out to be untrue. Because that was exactly the way Dante looked at me, every time he saw me.
With an incredible mixture of fire, adoration, and love in his eyes.
I didn’t answer her question. “But what about the other people involved? Like Genesis and Sterling. I don’t want to hurt either one of them.”
“Genesis went on this show knowing she might not get chosen, and that she might be sent home at any time. It was a risk they all agreed to take.”
The reality of the pain this would cause was finally starting to sink in. “That doesn’t make it right.”
“And Sterling deserves whatever’s coming to him, the jerk.”
“Why don’t you like him? You’ve never really told me.”
“Because he broke your heart and made you distrust all men.” I had blamed my issues with men on Enrique, but Kat was right. Sterling was the first boy to break my heart, and I hadn’t really recovered my ability to believe and trust. Even now, when I had someone like Dante who wanted to love me, it scared me just as much as it thrilled me. “I don’t think he’s good for you, and I don’t think he’ll make you happy. You and Dante belong together. My DVR even has documented evidence of how in love you two are, thanks to that dumb show.”
She was right.
“I don’t want to get hurt.”
Kat stifled a yawn. “He won’t hurt you. I won’t let him. I will be the first one to kick him where it counts, even if he is going to be my brother-in-law.”
“But what if he does hurt me?”
“What if he doesn’t? This could be the greatest thing that has ever happened to you. Tell him. Now.”
I could do this. I would tell him too, and then go home and break up with Sterling, and after the show ended I would be in Monterra to work for his family and we could real-life date. This would work.
“And just think about the publicity if we had a double wedding,” she said.
Whoa. “Nobody’s saying anything about getting married.”
“Dante has been since he met you. What was it you said to me about marrying him? Oh yeah, that it was as likely as rain falling upward.”
I glared, even though she couldn’t see me. “You’re not funny.”
“I’m hilarious and owed some payback for the lack of sleep. Call me tomorrow after eleven o’clock my time and tell me how it went. You know I’m a mess if I don’t get at least twelve hours of sleep.”
I told her good-bye and looked at my reflection again. I was doing this.
I was going to tell Dante everything.
Chapter 25
I heard you should doubt your doubts. Does that mean you should lie to your lies?
I entered the mansion through the front door and grabbed the first passing PA. “Have you seen Dante?”
“I think he was out back,” he said.
Right. The gazebo. I’d been so excited I’d forgotten he’d already told me where he’d be. I ran through the foyer and into the family room. Abigail lounged on the couch, reading one of the old magazines. Her eyes flicked up to me. “Have you seen . . . ?”
“He went upstairs.” She didn’t let me finish and sounded extremely bored. I was so happy I considered actually hugging her for a moment. Love really did make you crazy.
Turning, I headed for the staircase. I heard a loud commotion behind me, and it sounded like it was coming from the production room. People were yelling, but I didn’t care about whatever technical issue they were having. I needed to see him. I didn’t want to wait.
I got to the third floor, and I knocked on the door before throwing it open. “Dante, I wanted to tell you . . .”
The words died in my mouth.
Dante was shirtless, sitting on his bed with Genesis. And they were making out. They broke apart when they saw me.
A weight pressed down on my chest, suffocating me. My stomach felt like it had been hollowed out. I was raw. Empty.
I didn’t know this kind of pain was possible. Like getting hit by a bus, having my limbs ripped off by wild dogs, or being cut a million times by tiny sharp knives kind of pain.
“This is not . . . you can’t be . . . not happening,” was all I could say, as I tried to drag air into my lungs. The edges of my vision blurred and my knees buckled. I had to lean against the door to stay upright.
“Lemon?” He had the nerve to sound surprised. Like he hadn’t set this whole thing up just to humiliate me.
Now I was breathing hard, volcanic rage surging through me. Blood pounded in my ears, and the anger gave me strength. I grabbed a nearby vase and threw it at his head. He ducked and I missed, making the vase shatter against the wall.
Royal Chase (The Royals of Monterra) Page 23