Chapter 18
Riley
We'd parted ways after a few more minutes together, which was for the better. I was close to agreeing to just about anything he wanted. The goal was to build my career and give Mr. Ethan Lewis a good dose of reality, but it seemed like he was pulling me into fantasy instead.
The text I got shortly after getting back to my room and flopping down on the bed was a request for me to have dinner with him. I laughed at the thought of him trying to get through dinner without hitting on me, talking about his greatness or moving the conversation toward his cock in some manner or form. The guy’s modesty hadn't seen the light of day - ever.
I shot him a note back that I'd be in the kitchen at six and we could grab something to eat. After laying down the rules about the evening, I curled up in the bed and let my mind go wild. I'd not been daydreaming about what the night would have looked like if we were lovers in an old-fashioned movie for more than ten minutes when Deza walked in.
"You awake?" she whispered.
I rolled over and sat up. "Yeah. Just thinking."
"Everything all right?" She dropped down on the edge of her bed and ran her hands over her hair.
"Yeah. They're good. I'm excited about filming the boat scene next week. I love being out on the water." I propped myself up on my elbow and studied her. "You okay? You look like something is wrong."
"I'll be all right." She lay back and let out a long sigh. "I just wish I could figure out how to get Darren to trust me again. It's been ten damn years. It was a mistake to sleep with Zane. I know that now. Hell, I knew that then."
"Have you talked to him about it?"
"A million times." She turned over and crawled up into her bed. "He won't listen to me. He thinks that once trust is broken, that's it. There is no getting it back."
"Do you believe that?" I pulled the covers around me and snuggled under them, wishing I had some advice to share. I was nothing but a kid with a dream and very little positive life experience to back it up. There were days when I was surprised that I wasn't beside my mother, living the hard life in the midst of drugs and whatever else she'd gotten herself into.
"I don't know to be honest. I'd like to think I'm the kind of person that would give another person a chance if they fucked up, but I don't know if I would. Trust is such a delicate thing, you know? One lie can break it all apart."
I nodded, but kept silent. My lie about Jace was weighing heavy on me. I'd come clean with Ethan at the beach an hour before, but it still felt like a shitty move on my part. Compounding that was the lie about testing him in his kitchen during our first mentor meeting. He shouldn't trust me at all, and yet I knew that he did. He planned on the two of us protecting each other for a long time to come.
"Maybe I should just let it go." Deza's voice softened, lost steam.
"No." I sat up and brushed my hands over my hair. "No. You don't let it go. If you love him, you fight for it. He's worth fighting for, right?"
"Absolutely." She pressed her palms to her face. "You're right. I haven't been fighting. I've been tiptoeing around the edges of our fucked up relationship. I need to dive in deep and risk it all. Maybe then he'll see me for who I really am. I'm a good person. I was young and dumb."
"He'll see it. He's old and dumb now." I smiled as she chuckled. "Go all in. The worst thing that can happen is that you're rejected and then you get over it. You heal and finally move on."
"Have you always been an old soul?" She sat up and pulled her phone from her pocket. "I'm going to go call him while I have the nerve to do it."
"Good. I've got my fingers crossed." I moved to the edge of the bed and pressed my hands against my knees. "Deza."
She stood and turned to face me. "What?"
"I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm honestly considering Ethan's proposal for us to take care of each other."
"I think that's awesome. You guys are going to have to bind together. These films get harder and harder. Taking advice from the other and working to make sure-" She paused and tilted her head a little. "Wait a minute. Like protect each other or like... take care of each other."
"Both." I rolled my shoulders in and held my breath, waiting for the ass chewing.
"I see. Well, you're a woman. You know the consequences of giving yourself over to someone only to have the possibility of them rejecting you the next time. Ethan is a fickle creature. Just make sure if you decide to be stupid, and let's get this straight, I think you guys are being quite stupid, that you keep your heart out of the mix. He's an ass in the bedroom because of his issues."
"His issues?" I stood up as my stomach sickened. Why had I brought up my thoughts to sleep with Ethan with his agent? She and I were growing closer, but there was still a defined line between us. She wasn't my agent yet, even though she was taking care of me much better than Darren ever had.
"His size." She put her hands on her hips. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed."
"Why in the world would that be an issue? Men would pay millions of dollars to have what he has." Confusion raced through me. Was there more to the story that I wasn't getting access too?
"Yeah but, not that big." She let out a soft sigh. "Everyone sees what they want to see, Riley. I don't want Ethan to think I was talking about his personal life behind his back. He's like family to me. I'm just saying that he's way too big for most women, and he's incredibly frustrated because of it. It's not a joke or a positive scenario for him. He takes a huge risk every time he takes off his clothes. I honestly couldn't do that to myself if it were me."
"Wow." I sat back down on the edge of the bed. "It's that big of a deal."
"Absolutely. He's incredibly sensitive about it." She shrugged. "Do what you think is best, but you're going to have to understand that if you guys try each other on for size, the chances of that turning out as anything positive are slim to none."
I sat in silence, but nodded as she turned and walked out of the room. I couldn't remember having had a more awkward conversation in my whole life, and I'd been involved in a few doozies during my teenage years.
The conversation with Ethan over the size of his cock raced through my mind. He'd been so different after I teased him about it. I'd assumed he was just having another one of his emotional imbalances that he seemed prone to. That wasn't it at all.
Pulling out my phone, I pulled up his bio again and lay back on the bed. I had an hour before I needed to start getting ready for dinner and wanted to know more about him. If we were going to be friends or lovers or both, I needed to better understand who he was as a person. Who the man behind the mask was, and if I cared about him, or just one of the many faces he wore.
***
A host of emotions assaulted me as I finished putting on a little bit of make-up for our dinner. The white dress I'd chosen was flirty and fun, a little too sexy maybe, but I didn't care. After reading about Ethan's parents pimping him out as a kid and moving across the world on the money he'd made without worrying much about him and Liam after that, I was heartbroken for him.
He'd been raised by his grandmother on his mother's side, and his bio had so many great things to say about the woman. She'd died when he was sixteen, but by then, he was with Deza, living the life he thought would help him find wholeness. I couldn't force myself to read any more as my heart was already filled to the brim with his honesty in the book, his openness.
"I wanna know that guy so badly." I brushed my thumb under my bottom lip and cleaned up my lipstick a little.
A knock at the door surprised me. I checked my hair one more time and opened the door to find Ethan standing there with a single yellow lily in his hand. His white polo looked good against his tanned skin. The dark blue shots he wore gave him a casual and yet dressy appeal all at the same time.
"You ready?" He pressed his hand to the door as his eyes moved down the front of my dress. "Damn, you're so far beyond fine."
"Thank you?" I laughed and snagged the flower from him. "Is this for
me?"
"Nope. It was for Deza. She here?" He winked and moved back to let me out. "You in the mood for sushi? I found a place about half a mile down the beach. There might be adoring fans there, but I'll make sure to beat them off of you all right?"
I laughed again, finding a warmth beside him that I was almost frightened to find. We didn't know anything about each other and yet there was a comfort that permeated our relationship if I allowed it. It was the angst of lust that blurred the lines.
"I love sushi. And in all honesty, if we get bombarded by a group of raging mad women with lust in their eyes and saliva dripping from their jowls, then I'll protect you." I moved closer to him as we walked down the hall toward the stairs.
"Wow. That was... dramatic." He chuckled and opened the door to the back exit of the house. "Did the ones the other day have a drooling problem?"
"Most women do around you, silly. You're Ethan Lewis... America's heartthrob."
He gave me a look that said he wasn't at all happy with the title. "Can I just be Ethan tonight? Mr. Lewis went to bed early with a headache and a hangover."
"Too much liquor and sex?" I teased him as we stepped out onto the sand.
"Yep. He's a bastard, that guy... I tell you what. I'm surprised he has a friend in the world."
"Well, he has me." I lifted the flower to my nose and let the moment settle on me. My words were true. He did have me.
Chapter 19
Ethan
She looked like an angel in her dress and dainty brown sandals. It was going to be a long night of keeping myself in check. The fact that she was being sweet was gnawing at the part of me that wanted romance and love over sweaty hot shower sex. That guy was still there too, but he was getting sucker punched by the toga-wearing cupid inside my chest.
"So tell me a little more about your school program. Are you graduating with drama as your major, or did you go a different route?" I wanted to take her hand, but it would be too intimate. I'd ruin the evening later for sure with a dumb-ass move. I'd hold off as long as I could until then.
She glanced over at me, stealing my breath. "I'm a drama major. I thought I might go into international business, but I just couldn't force myself to give up on my dreams of acting one day." She shrugged. "I figured I would graduate in May with my degree and change agents. If I could score the right one, I might have the chance to get in front of the right people and yadda yadda. You know the drill, I'm sure."
"Sure do." I slipped my hands into my pockets as we approached the restaurant. "Are you guys doing a spring production, or is that just something the movies make up about drama departments in college?"
I was ignorant to most things outside of the acting business only because I'd been suffocated by it for all of my adult life, and most of my childhood. I held the door and followed behind her, wishing we were a couple so I could touch her as freely as I wanted to. I was a guy without patience for easing into anything. It was a head-first dive off the tallest diving board available for me, regardless of what lay below.
She waited to answer until we were seated across from each other at an intimate table in the back.
"We are doing a play in a few weeks. I'm the lead for it this time, which is exciting, and yet so overshadowed by what you guys are giving me the opportunity to do." Her smile was contagious. The sarcastic, quick-witted woman that had my cock acting like a fit-throwing child for attention was tucked away somewhere.
Funny enough, it didn't seem to matter which side of her I got to experience, my body demanded the naked side. I smirked at the thought, but covered it up by glancing at the waitress and ordering a bottle of wine.
"Wait. Are you... Oh my God. You're Ethan Lewis."
"Nope," Riley spoke up. "He just looks like him. We get that all the time, don't we, baby?"
My cock twitched at her words. I'd have rolled my eyes at myself if I could have gotten away with it.
"That's right, sweetheart. You're just a lucky girl to have found a body double for that big, sexy hunk." I wagged my eyebrows.
The server laughed, and Riley rolled her eyes dramatically enough for the both of us. I laughed as the server walked off and Riley gave me a look.
There was my girl under the sweet smile and the light covering of make-up.
"Really? You're so full of shit." Her grimace turned into a smile as she laughed and sat back. "Are you going to come see my spring production?"
"Do you want me to?" I pulled my napkin in my lap and let my eyes move down to the sweet swell of her breasts just above the top of her strapless dress. I wanted to brush my lips by her exposed skin and drown in the sound of her begging for more.
"Yeah. That would be pretty cool." She wagged her eyebrows. "I mean... can you imagine it? Me? Little old, nobody of a person, me having the biggest actor of our time come sit in the auditorium at UCLA to support me?"
"You're not a nobody." My smile faded. "Don't say that again. I don't like it."
Her smiled faded too. "Okay. I'm just saying."
"Well, don't. I'm no different than you. You're somebody’s something special, I'm sure. Hell, I'm fighting like a madman to make sure you don't end up mine." I tried to play my words off as being cheeky, but the realization that rushed across her pretty face told me that I was caught.
"Anyways," she whispered and glanced down at her lap. "It's going to be a fun play. The only hard part is having to kiss the male lead. He's not at all someone I would look at twice."
"So shallow." I winked at her and enjoyed the power I had to make her smile again.
"You're telling me that you've never struggled having to kiss someone in a movie that you weren't turned on by?" She moved her forearms up to rest on the table. Her position pressed her breasts together and lifted them even more.
My body throbbed with need as I swallowed hard. If we ever ended up naked, I'd have to see if she’d let me press myself between her pretty tits and-
"Are you still with me?" She lifted her eyebrow and smirked.
I swallowed hard and reached for my water as embarrassment rolled over me. I would normally have just told her what I was thinking, but it seemed almost too crass to speak out loud. What the fuck was wrong with me?
"Yep. Just thinking about all the times I've kissed someone on screen and had to fake the shit out of the passion." I shrugged. "When I was younger it was easier to do and still enjoy. Kissing a woman at seventeen or eighteen when you don't find her attractive is still kissing a woman. I can't remember the last time I got turned on when acting until you showed up."
She leaned back in her chair and dropped her hands to her lap. "And why were you turned on by me?"
"Are you kidding me? You look like a movie star from the early days of film. Back when women still wore enough clothing to tease a man into seduction and forced him to bed to see what was under the nightie. Now it's almost as if the action movie with one sex scene is a porn in disguise." I gave a look of disgust. "It's not at all what I would do if it were up to me."
"I'm honestly a little surprised to hear this." She picked up her wine glass and took a drink as our server poured us each a glass.
"Why's that? Just because I'm vulgar on occasion, want to get you in bed as much as I want my next check from Eon and offered you sex a few times? Psh. That's nothing. I'm still a classy guy under all that drama."
"Are you?" She tilted her head to the side, causing her hair to drape over her shoulder seductively.
"Very much so." I nodded toward the lily. "I brought you a flower tonight, right?"
"That's for Deza, remember?"
I chuckled. Cheeky little bitch. She was going to steal my heart while I was trying to steal her panties to add to my collection.
"What's this guy look like that you're unwilling to kiss?"
"That was a horrible transition."
"Yes, I'm quite aware. Tell me anyway. I don't like him already, so describe him and give me a reason to feel sorry for him." I picked up my menu and pointed to a few su
shi rolls that Riley agreed on sharing with me.
"He's okay, but he's terribly thin and honestly he lacks confidence. He'd be a good-looking guy if he just squared his shoulders and lifted his chin." She jerked her shoulders back and lifted her chin.
"Mmmm... do that again for me." I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth as my body started to pulse in all the right places.
"You're corrupt." She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. "And here I thought maybe there was a good-guy side to you."
"Oh, there is." I smiled. "He's just the facade for the real me."
"The you that wants to have a friends with benefits relationship with your new co-star. A relationship that could potentially ruin everything between us."
"Or." I lifted my finger. "Or it could make it even better. Can you imagine if we had a kissing scene tomorrow after you let me spend the night making you wonder how in the fuck you ever survived without me pressed to the front of you?"
"I like it from behind." She shrugged and picked up her glass.
The blood drained from my face, my chest, my legs, my arms, leaving me numb. Every bit of energy I had rushed toward my cock and brought the fucker raging to life. I took a quick breath and nodded.
"Good. I like it any way you're willing to give it." I licked at my lips. "Let's get out of here."
"No. Behave." She smiled and moved back as the soup was delivered. Why we'd decided to have dinner instead of just staying at the house and having me cook for her was beyond me. I sucked like hell at cooking, but for her... for the chance to experience her... I was willing to try.
Chapter 20
Riley
The air was so damn hard to breathe as we worked our way through the rest of dinner. We moved the conversation back to my time at UCLA and talked a little about Liam too. I tried to stay away from anything that might give him the ability to flirt too much. I was already raw from reading his bio, then getting the flower and now having him watch me like an animal might its favorite prey.
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