Holy Socks And Dirtier Demons

Home > Other > Holy Socks And Dirtier Demons > Page 10
Holy Socks And Dirtier Demons Page 10

by J. A. Kazimer


  Lilith leaned in and whispered in his ear. Dante’s face whitened. He

  shook his head, and Lilith nodded, gesturing wildly. I titled my head, hoping

  73

  to catch a word or two of their conversation. I did, but they might as well

  have been talking Swahili. Hell for all I knew it was Swahili. Clicks, grunts,

  and groans spewed from Lilith’s mouth, but somehow sounded sexy.

  Dante glanced around Lilith to glare at me. “I have just the thing,” he

  said to her. He disappeared behind a stack of junk, hard to do for a fat man

  but he managed. In his wake, a rumble reverberated through the room,

  sending up clouds of dust mites.

  I waved away the toxic air. “Lilith, what aren’t you telling me?”

  “Nothing that changes the outcome.” She gave me a sad smile, as if

  fate sealed our destiny. “We must find J.C., and slay the dragon. If that

  means one of us dies, so be it.”

  So be it? I didn’t fucking think so. I had important things to

  accomplish before my time ran out, not that I could name a damn one at the

  moment. I rubbed my chin. “Care to give me a hint about which one of us

  bites the bullet?”

  “Would you believe me either way?”

  She had a point. Before I could respond, Dante crawled from the

  trash pile, a cloth wrapped sword clutched in his pudgy hands. He unwound

  the cloth, careful not to touch the weapon. The hilt of the weapon gleamed

  with gold, and its sheath shined like fire.

  Lilith raised an eyebrow. “Tyrfing? You can’t be serious.”

  Dante frowned. “It is the perfect weapon. One, even a mortal,” he

  sneered at me, “cannot miss with. Besides, it is the only weapon that can kill

  angels, devils and mortals alike.”

  “Of that I have no doubt, but…”

  “Pish. You don’t believe that old legend?” He waved a flabby fist.

  “I’ve used it plenty of times and I’m still alive.”

  She smiled. “Pick it up then.”

  “Is that my phone?” Dante disappeared into the back of the shop to

  answer his non-existent phone.

  I moved to stand next to Lilith and the beautifully crafted sword. “I

  take it there’s some bad mojo attached to this sword.”

  “You could say that.” Her hand hovered above the forged steel.

  “Have you ever heard the saying: ‘He who lives by the sword dies by the

  sword?’”

  I nodded. It was the motto of any great soldier. That and “How much

  for a blowjob?”

  “Well, Tyrfing is the reason for that. Whoever is stupid enough to

  possess it will eventually succumb to it. But it gets worse...”

  Her gaze stroked the razor sharp edges of the blade. Heat pooled low

  in my body, a sexual response to the naked hunger in her eyes. Sparks leapt

  from the metal to her fingertips. As if a powerful force compelled her, she

  reached for the weapon.

  I slapped her hand away, afraid of what would happen if she touched

  74

  the steel, but like a magnet, my own mindless appendage curled around the

  hilt.

  Nothing happened. No explosion. No instant death. I lifted the sword

  from the counter, weighing it in my hand. Surprised by its light weight, I

  swung it in an arc feeling like a warrior, an uncoordinated one, but a warrior

  just the same.

  Sunlight reflected off the sharp blade, burning into Lilith’s vacant

  eyes. She blinked once, shook her head, and let out a soft cry. “Oh God, what

  have you done?”

  “It’s okay.” I shrugged, parrying with violent force. “It’s a piece of

  metal. A worthless legend. Nothing bad happened when I picked it up, and

  nothing bad will happen.”

  As I said those words, Dante returned from the backroom. “Hey there

  pretty boy...” His eyes widened seconds before the sword pierced his gut. His

  mouth formed an O, and he clutched at the mortal wound. “Figlio di una

  femmina,” he whispered before dropping face first onto the floor.

  Damn. I guess he was Italian. I ran to his side, but Lilith moved more

  cautiously, her eyes leery as she paused at the steel blade embedded in Dante.

  I cupped Dante’s head in my lap, and applied pressure to the wound, but it

  was too late. Blood flowed from him like the Amazon.

  “Tell my mother I love her.” His eyelids flickered, and his breathing

  became harsh before stopping altogether.

  “Damn it, Lilith, do something.”

  She shrugged, not really paying me any attention. I felt sick. Poor

  guy. That fucking sword was cursed.

  “Try mouth-to-mouth,” Dante whispered. The blood running down

  his shirt vanished before my eyes. I released him, and his head hit the floor

  with a thud. “Ouch.” He rubbed at the dented spot on his skull. “Humans

  have no sense of humor.”

  Glaring at him, I picked up the sword, and slammed it into the wound

  again. “How’s that for funny?”

  Lilith laughed, but Dante looked annoyed. I pulled the sword out, and

  wiped the blood on the leg of his pants. I planned to run him through again,

  but Lilith stopped me.

  “Play time is over. We should get out of here before something bad

  does happen.” Lilith took my arm, and smiled at Dante. “Put it on my

  account.”

  75

  Twenty One

  I dragged the sword for half a block to Lilith’s Gremlin. A thick

  condensation marred the windows of the vehicle, and the seats squished

  when I sat. Lilith slid into the driver’s seat, and went through the pre-start

  checklist. Bang, bang, bang on the dashboard. Pump, pump, pump on the gas

  pedal, an eye roll, and finally ignition.

  The engine coughed to life, less forgiving of its watery adventure the

  night before than me. I glanced at Lilith profile as we puttered up the street.

  What had I gotten myself into I wondered for the tenth time in an hour.

  “What do you suggest we do now?” I rolled down the side window to

  air out the moldy stench rising from the backseat.

  “I know someone who can help us find J.C.”

  “Who?” And why the fuck didn’t she say so before?

  “Sibillie.”

  I shook my head. “The fortune teller at Coney Island?”

  She nodded, and hit the brakes hard to avoid a guy in a dress riding a

  unicycle. “Feel like taking a ride?”

  I shrugged. Why not?

  The angel stuck his head up from the hatchback. “I love Coney

  Island. They have cotton candy, and a woman with a beard.” He looked well

  rested, and excited at the prospect of a trip through Brooklyn.

  “Not today they don’t.” Lilith flipped on the windshield wipers

  brushing flakes of snow from the glass. Like a wintery wasteland, the snow

  fell heavier as we traveled south through Brooklyn.

  ~ * ~

  Gray sky met gray buildings, gray brick, and the gray skin of the

  gray-haired citizens as we entered Coney Island. The city looked like a

  washed out version of a noir movie.

  Lilith flicked her lighter, and smoke curled from the end of her clove

  cigarette. “God, this city is depressing in the winter.”

  I completely agreed. In the dead of summer, Coney Island resembled

&nb
sp; a riot in Detroit, but with fat guys in Speedos and funnel cakes rather than

  mobs of angry teens with torches. In the summer, lights and peals of laughter

  76

  split the air, and pink cotton candy cones melted in the sun. In the winter

  though, the place looked like a death camp.

  Sunken-eyed people dammed to live here year-around watched as we

  drove past. A shiver ran up my spine. I turned around and smacked the angel,

  who sat behind me breathing on my neck.

  Lilith parked the Gremlin inches from the front gate of the Astroland

  Amusement Park. A thick chain separated us from the home of the World

  Famous Cyclone as the sign overhead promised.

  Frowning, Lilith kicked at the lock and mumbled to herself. The gate

  rattled, but the lock held. She smashed her foot into it again. “Ow. Shit.”

  Dancing around, she held the toe of her boot and moaned.

  I stepped back to avoid her flailing body, only to smack into the

  angel’s granite like chest. I pushed from him, and reached out to steady

  Lilith.

  Why did I let her talk me into these things? “What kind of succubus

  can’t open a damn lock?” I reached into my jean and pulled out a small knife.

  Thirty seconds later, I unwrapped the chain and we pushed our way inside.

  Lilith headed to the Dante’s Inferno ride, and the six-foot fortune

  telling arcade game in front of it. Sibillie, the gypsy queen of hearts. Plug a

  quarter in, and Sibillie offered vague predictions straight out of the 1920’s, a

  sad gimmick, but a prosperous one if Sibillie’s worn start button was any

  indicator.

  I followed Lilith, stopping every few steps to reel the wayward angel

  from the Ferris wheel, Cyclone, and the freak sideshow. It didn’t seem to

  matter to him that the rides weren’t operating and the freak show stood

  empty.

  “Damn it.” I grabbed for the sleeve of his robe one more time. “We

  don’t have time for this.”

  We finally caught up with the succubus. She stood next to the

  wooden fortuneteller searching her pockets for a quarter. I dug into my own,

  finding a breath mint, two copper pennies, and a condom. I glanced at the

  angel, and he shrugged. It figured.

  Lilith started to laugh. “Here we are, some of the most powerful

  forces in the universe,” she glanced at me, and added as an afterthought, “and

  Jace, without a quarter between us.”

  “Well, we could pray for divine intervention, or,” I pulled out my

  knife, “we could improvise.”

  “Thou shalt not steal.” The angel tucked his wings into his armpits

  and glared at me.

  “And you should mind your own business.” Lilith slugged him in the

  stomach. He clutched his mid-section, and whimpered before falling onto the

  snowy pavement.

  I rolled my eyes, and went to work on Madame Sibillie’s coin box.

  Sliding the knife into the crease below the metal box, I shook it back and

  77

  forth. The blade slipped, taking a chunk from my thumb. “Fuck,” I screamed,

  sucking at the bloody wound.

  “Careful, Jace. We don’t want to damage Sibillie.” Lilith stood over

  my shoulder, ringing her hands like a maiden in a cheesy romance novel.

  Like the ones my second wife devoured, which now that I thought about it,

  had led to our divorce. Who wanted a wife with expectations?

  Wiping the blood on my jeans, once again I pressed the knife into the

  corner of the coin container and peeled away the wooden guard.

  Come to Papa.

  A zap lit the air around me, and my body flew backwards through the

  gray sky. I landed about twenty feet away, my fingers pulsing with

  electricity. “I must have shorted her out.”

  “I don’t think so,” Lilith said, eyes intent on Sibillie’s plaster face.

  “As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure you turned her on.”

  Shaking the snow from my pants, I stumbled to my feet, and stepped

  closer for a better look. Sure enough, Sibillie wore a smile that all but

  screamed post-orgasmic bliss. Lights flashed in her plastic case, and eerie

  gypsy music from the era of finger waves and flapper dresses crackled from

  the booth.

  “I’ll be.” I grinned and winked at Lilith.

  She laughed, sending waves of desire rolling along my skin. “You’ll

  have to show me that trick sometime.”

  “It’s all in the wrist.”

  Sibillie waved her mechanical hands over a fake crystal ball. “Hey

  there, Flyboy. You goofy over Sibillie?”

  I glanced at Lilith, and she shrugged.

  “Yeah, Flyboy, I’m talking to you. What? Are you handcuffed to that

  jane?” Sibillie’s lips didn’t move, but her voice reverberated oddly around

  me. “The dame’s pretty, but not as keen as Sibillie.”

  “Right, you’re the bees-knees.” I’d watched a Bogart movie or two.

  “But I came here for your help to find a lost kid, not to... umm.”

  “Fuck like machines,” Lilith supplied, trying to contain a smile.

  “Yeah that.” I shot her an annoyed look and turned back to Sibillie.

  “Will you help me?”

  Sibillie sighed, but waved her mechanical arms over the ball once

  more. Lights flashed, swirling faster and faster. A few seconds later, a card

  popped from the wooden box. The whole thing seemed anticlimactic.

  Lilith pulled the card from the slot. “It’s for you.” She passed the

  card to me and grinned.

  I read it aloud: “You will get lucky tonight, Flyboy.” I glanced at

  Sibillie. She winked with her plastic eye. I swallowed my revulsion.

  “Thanks. That’s a real generous offer, but I need to find the lost kid. Help me

  to do so, and I will rock your… box.”

  Lights flashed again, and blue flashes swirled around the booth.

  78

  Another card flew out. I reached for it this time. It read: What you seek is

  sought. What you feel is bought. What you love is all for naught. Have you

  looked in Hell’s Kitchen?

  My eyes flew to Lilith’s. “The Clinton,” I said, giving the newly

  generic name of what was once known as Hell’s Kitchen.

  “But where?”

  Sibillie sighed. “Ask them.”

  “Who?” I glanced over my shoulder, but saw no one. A whiff of

  sulfur warned me of danger, but the biggest clue was Sibillie exploding into

  tooth picked-sized splinters.

  Shoving me to the ground seconds before the blast, Lilith threw her

  body across me as fiery plaster parts scattered around us. But, other than

  Sibillie, the gypsy queen of Lincoln Logs, we sustained little damage.

  “What the hell happened?” I lurched to my feet, pounding on my ears

  to stop them from ringing.

  “What?” Lilith cupped her own ear, or on closer inspection, cupped

  what used to be her ear. The blast had blown it clean off. Greenish blood

  leaked from the wound.

  Helping her to her feet, I winced at the damage to the side of her

  face. A glow pulsed beneath the skin, growing brighter. I stroked my hand

  against it, and the wound healed instantly. I jumped back, surprised. Shit.

  Maybe I was an angel.

  “Don’t get too excited. I’m pretty much immortal.�
� Lilith swabbed

  the blood from her newly formed ear.

  “Pretty much?”

  She lifted her eyebrow. “Pretty much.”

  “Huh.” I filed the information away for future use. “What

  happened?”

  “Someone or thing blew the shit out of Sibillie.”

  “Yeah, thanks for that.” I glanced around at the burning embers. “Is it

  still here?”

  Lilith licked the tip of her finger, and stuck it into the air. “Nope, but

  it’s going to snow.” A few flakes dropped from the sky.

  A groan drew my attention. I reached down and plucked the angel

  from underneath a pile of flaming Sibillie. Singed hair and burnt feathers

  tickled my nostrils, but it was the look of his head that made my day. It was

  half-bald and pink as the kid’s ass with diaper rash.

  “Do not say a word.” He raised his eyes to heaven and disappeared.

  “Neat trick,” Lilith said, tucking a piece of my own singed hair

  behind my ear.

  Her closeness bothered me. The scent of her. The feel of her skin.

  But it was the thought of losing her that set me on edge. Damn, I actually

  liked her. When had that happened?

  “Be honest with me.” I grabbed her hand as she ran her fingers across

  79

  my lips, and motioned between us. “Am I going to regret this?”

  “Probably.”

  “That’s what I thought.” Looping my arms around her waist, I

  dragged her close. Maybe Sibillie was right, and I would get lucky tonight.

  80

  Twenty Two

  “This is an endorphin reaction to a nearly being killed.” Lilith

  stripped off her jacket and tossed it on the passenger seat of the Gremlin. “It

  means nothing.”

  I tugged at my sweatshirt. “Nothing. Just a little life affirming

  exercise.” Freeing my arms, I pulled Lilith’s body across mine in the tight

  confines of the car. However, there were advantages to a hatchback. The

  main one, she got to be on top.

  “I don’t even like you.” Lilith bit my naked shoulder, drawing blood.

  “Ditto.” My tongue entered her mouth, taking its time to explore the

  texture of her taste buds.

  Anything but submissive, her tongue warred with mine, teeth nibbled

  on my lips, and her hands roamed across my chest. Shiver skated over my

 

‹ Prev