Back To Us (Dare With Me Series Book 4)

by J. H. Croix

  I loved it, like so much of him that I loved. My lips kept wandering, and I strung kisses along the line of his collarbone. His fingers tightened incrementally in my hair before he roughly tugged my head back. His eyes met mine, and the look there was pure fire. My insides went molten right before his mouth fit over mine. He claimed our kiss immediately with a bold sweep of his tongue.

  Chapter Nine

  Gabriel

  The feel of Nora pressed against me, warm and soft, and her tongue teasing with mine was a deep dive into sensation—fierce and undiluted pleasure. My senses were awash in her, and I drank her in like a starving man.

  She moaned into our kiss, her fingers digging into the corded muscles along my spine when she pressed closer. I forced myself to gentle our kiss. Not because I wanted to. No, it was the opposite, in fact. But I needed to get it right with us this time.

  It would be easy, so easy and so exquisitely tempting to let the desire that burned like an out-of-control brush fire between us take over. I knew how to give Nora what she wanted. I knew it thoroughly.

  But letting that physical expression be what bound us together was what had led me in the wrong direction the first time with us. I gave a last glide of my tongue against hers before I pulled back, catching her bottom lip with my teeth lightly before releasing it. I cupped her cheek with my palm, letting my forehead fall to hers.

  “I miss you, Nora.” My lips moved against hers with every single word.

  She made an inarticulate sound and then said, “I miss you too.”

  I clung to my control and forced my head to lift. I couldn’t quite bring myself to step away fully yet. Her eyes blinked up at me, and I saw the vulnerability and uncertainty flickering there.

  I hated myself for feeding into the doubts that I knew were woven deeply into her heart. I understood far too well why she had a hard time trusting others. The details were different, but her father had let her down time and again, just as my mother had let me down.

  My heart twisted sharply as if I’d scored it with a knife, the blade jagged and dull. I’d done it myself—hurting her and hurting my own self. I thought I could never commit, and I’d thought she understood. She had at first. Then it got complicated because I’d been too stupid to realize I couldn’t order my heart around the way I could the rest of my life.

  “How do you know you love me?” Her voice was husky and throaty.

  Her question felt like a punch to my gut. Not because she was trying to hurt me, but because it was so pointy, like a lance.

  She had every right to ask me that. Hell, I’d told her I could never be serious. I’d even tried to argue the point and insist we could carry on as we had been. Friends with benefits. Friends who were special. I’d fucking said that. God, I’d been so fucking stupid.

  “I don’t know how I know. I just do,” I said.

  She blinked those liquid brown eyes, and I felt her take a breath. “I’m not going to be stupid again.”

  “What do you mean?” My heart was thudding in an unsteady, reckless beat.

  “I fell for you, and I knew better. I don’t want to get hurt again. I think maybe you think you love me because you miss me. But you miss what we had. Don’t get me wrong, I know we have chemistry, and I know it’s good with us. But good sex doesn’t make for a good relationship.”

  “This isn’t just about sex for me,” I insisted.

  I meant it, but I didn’t know how to fight this fight with her. Because I’d never been in love. I was completely inexperienced and frankly stupid about love. The evidence of my foolishness hovered in the air around us, crossing like shadows over the sun in Nora’s gaze. Doubts were emblazoned on her heart, and I’d put them there.

  I smoothed her hair back, savoring the silky slide of it through my fingers. Every touch was something I was desperate for. “Give us a chance. Give me a chance.”

  “What happens next time? You were pretty clear about how you felt.” Her lips twisted then, and I saw the pain flash in her eyes. I wished I had a million bandages to heal the wounds I’d created.

  “It won’t happen again.”

  She regarded me quietly. “I need to think.”

  “Okay. While you’re thinking, I’ll be waiting. Can we maybe have a truce in the meantime?”

  “A truce?”

  I felt my lips tugging at the corners. “One where you actually speak to me.”

  I saw the smile lurking in the corners of her mouth, but she didn’t let it unfurl. “Okay. I’ll stop giving you the silent treatment.”

  “Next time you need help with something, call me first.”

  Her nose wrinkled as she eyed me. “I didn’t need help.”

  “Clearly, you did.”

  She finally laughed. “Okay, I did.”

  “I know you hate asking for help. You’re the tomboy-est of the tomboys.”

  I couldn’t resist smoothing a hand over her hair again as she looked up at me. “Not always.”

  “I know.” My chest actually ached, and my eyes burned a little.

  I wasn’t prone to crying. Yet Nora, only Nora, brought emotion to the surface swiftly like this. Ever since I’d cut her off at the pass when she told me her feelings were more than just friends, whatever I’d buried deep inside after being abandoned by my mother and watching her flit in and out of our lives had roared to life. I couldn’t tamp it down anymore.

  Nora took a shaky breath, her grip finally easing as she shimmied out from between me and the counter, curling her arms around her waist tightly. “What are you doing this afternoon?” she asked.

  “Helping you get the dryer hooked up,” I prompted.

  Her lips pressed in a tight line, and then she let loose a low laugh. “That would be nice.”

  Chapter Ten

  Gabriel

  Flynn’s sharp eyes held mine, studying me to the point I wanted to look away. I didn’t.

  Flynn was one of my best friends, solid as a rock. I’d used him as an excuse when I told Nora it was too complicated for us to have a relationship. With his gaze pinned on me, a sense of foreboding rose inside. I knew that Flynn knew. Hell, I was pretty sure he’d known all along, but he’d stayed quiet about it. Maybe not because of me, but probably Nora and her tendency to get real prickly when he interfered in her personal life.

  “I noticed Nora is speaking to you again,” he finally said.

  After a long day of flying, circumstances worked out such that he and I were leaving to return to the resort from Diamond Creek at the same time. He suggested we grab dinner at Diamond Creek Brewery. It made no sense for me to refuse. Grabbing a beer with friends was perfectly normal, and Flynn and I had done it many times.

  If I’d been wondering before, I knew now that he had an agenda other than food and drinks.

  “Uh, yeah,” I said slowly.

  His lips twitched at the corners, and I sensed he was enjoying my discomfort. He took a bite of his burger, and I gratefully took that moment to enjoy a few fries. After he finished chewing, he cocked his head to the side and studied me quietly again.

  “I knew something was up with you two. I only left it alone because I knew Nora would raise fucking hell with me if I interfered.”

  “How did you know?” I finally asked, resisting the urge to tap my fingers on the table.

  In lieu of spinning my fork between my fingers because I tended to fidget when I was uncomfortable, I took a swallow of my beer, idly tracing my fingertip around the base of my glass after I set it down.

  Flynn arched a brow, still watching me too perceptively for my comfort. “I’m not sure. It was more of a feeling. But then she stopped talking to you, so that pretty much said it all. What happened?” he asked, his tone cool.

  It was only when he asked that question that I realized he might be pissed off at me or on the way to it. I figured the only thing on my side was Flynn was a controlled man. He was never impulsive, and he never flew off the handle. He could be a cranky ass, but falling in love with
Daphne had softened his sharp edges.

  I decided blunt honesty was my only option, or at least the only sensible option at the moment. I leaned back in the booth and ran a hand through my hair, not even bothering to hide my ragged sigh. “I fucked up is what happened. Now, I’m trying to fix it. Because I’m in love with Nora.”

  Flynn blinked, his eyes widening slightly. “You’re in love with her?”

  I nodded, a flash of defensiveness rising at the disbelief in his tone. “Yeah. It took her breaking things off for me to figure that out. Now, she doesn’t believe me. She thinks I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

  His gaze dipped down, and his shoulders shook. It took me a minute to realize he was silently laughing. At me.

  When his eyes lifted, he shook his head slowly. “You’re a fucking idiot. If you break her heart again, I’ll kick your ass.”

  His laughter faded by that second sentence, and his icy blue gaze was lasered on me. My heart ached a little. Because I was a fucking idiot. Even worse, I had hurt Nora.

  “I won’t break her heart,” I said firmly.

  “Didn’t you already?”

  My chest burned. “I’m not sure. Look—” I began

  Flynn shook his head. “You don’t need to explain. As I said, I stayed out of it because Nora really doesn’t appreciate it when I butt into her personal life. But you’re my friend, and she’s my sister. When I mentioned it to Daphne, she pointed out you were the one likely to get hurt this time. I didn’t get it at first because I know how you are about relationships. That’s your weakness.”

  I sighed again, running a hand through my hair before finishing off my beer. Setting the empty glass down, I rested my elbows on the table. “I guess so. She’s pissed, and I don’t know how to get her to believe I love her.”

  He shrugged. “Not gonna be easy. You know what my stepfather was like.” Flynn’s stepfather was Nora’s father. I knew the sketch of their childhood, but not all of it. Flynn was nine years older than Nora, so I knew more of his version.

  “Sort of,” I offered, hoping Flynn might elucidate.

  His lips tucked in at the corners, and I knew he was fighting back a smile. “Sure, I’ll fill you in. It’s no big secret. He was just a flake. My dad got our mom pregnant and then never showed up again. My stepdad was more of a bounce-in-and-out-of-our-lives kind of guy. Never really committing. Our mom was always waiting for him, and money was tight. Nora doesn’t count on guys. Her not believing you is as much of a product of her father as it is you. I’m not sure what to tell you other than to be patient. She’s going to expect you to walk away. It doesn’t help matters that you already have.”

  “Fuck,” I breathed. “You make it sound like I don’t have a chance.”

  Flynn shrugged. “I didn’t say that. Just remember: don’t break her heart.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Nora

  “What do you need?” I called from the pantry.

  I peered through the doorway of the pantry into the kitchen with a box of crackers in one hand. Daphne glanced over from where she was rinsing her hands by the sink. “Some clean dish towels, please.”

  “You got it, girl,” I called as I turned around and reached for several dish towels from the stack we kept in here on the corner of one of the shelves.

  Returning to the kitchen, I set the crackers down and swapped out the towels, tossing the used ones into the laundry bin we kept under one of the cabinets. “Need some help?” I asked as I leaned against the counter and opened the crackers.

  I needed something to tide me over for the next few minutes until dinner. I’d meant to eat today, but it never happened because my flying schedule hadn’t left me any time. As a result, I was hungry to the point of feeling faint.

  Daphne smiled over at me as she turned off a burner. “No, but thank you.”

  She crossed over to the refrigerator. A moment later, she returned, handing me a tray of already sliced cheeses. “Sit down and eat before you fall over.”

  I did as she instructed. Rounding the counter, I slid my hips onto a stool and watched her get dinner ready for the staff while I nibbled on the cheese and crackers. I loved hanging out in the kitchen now. Ever since Daphne had taken over as chef here last year, the food was incredible, and she created a sense of warmth and welcoming. Previously, we’d gone through a series of cooks. Some were better than others, but it was more the practical matter of offering food to the guests. Flynn’s prickly attitude and impatience had chased off a few, but he didn’t dare mess with Daphne, so she made that better too.

  Now, the guests were disappointed on the evenings when Daphne didn’t serve a guest meal. She took two evenings off, and we encouraged the guests to go into town on those nights to take advantage of the local restaurants.

  “How are things with Gabriel?” she asked after I finished my fourth cracker with a piece of cheese. Daphne did that often. She would strike with a targeted question just when you let down your guard.

  I almost choked and held a finger up as I finished chewing. She handed me a glass of water, her eyes twinkling and her lips curled in a sly smile. I watched as she carefully shifted the seared vegetables from a pan onto a serving platter and drizzled some kind of sauce over them.

  “What’s that?” I asked after I finished chewing and took a sip of water.

  “Vegetables with a lemon tarragon sauce. You didn’t answer my question.”

  I sighed, glancing around furtively in case anyone was coming into the kitchen.

  Daphne continued, “No one’s here yet. Gabriel told Flynn he’s in love with you.”

  “What?!” I sputtered.

  Her eyes caught mine, her gaze somber as she nodded slowly. “Yes. I think he really means it.”

  Just then, my older brother came walking into the kitchen, calm and oblivious to our conversation. He stopped by Daphne, sliding his arms around her waist from behind and dipping his head to press a lingering kiss on the side of her neck.

  Daphne’s cheeks flushed pink. “Hi,” she said, a little breathlessly.

  I gave her an arch look. After confronting me about Gabriel and dropping that little bomb on me, she deserved to be embarrassed by my brother.

  “Hey,” Flynn said as he stepped away from Daphne. “I’m starving. Are you sharing?”

  Before I could even answer, his long arm reached over to the counter where I sat opposite the stove and snagged one of my crackers with cheese.

  “I guess I am,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

  I was torn about whether to confront Flynn about his conversation with Gabriel. Why was he even talking to Gabriel about me? I hated when he was nosy and overprotective. When Grant came walking through the back door, I decided I’d have to leave it alone. I didn’t know if I should be furious at Flynn or Gabriel. No matter, I didn’t appreciate them discussing me.

  A few minutes later, Gabriel entered the kitchen and sat right beside me. That did it. I transferred my anger for him telling my brother about us directly and fully onto him. For fuck’s sake. I couldn’t believe he would talk to Flynn about us.

  “How’s it going?” Gabriel asked, oblivious to my state of mind.

  That was a perfectly expected question. Nothing unusual about it at all. Except he spoke in that melodic, gravelly voice of his. I loved his voice. He could send shivers over my skin merely by speaking.

  Perhaps it was because my nerves were already on edge, but the hairs rose on the back of my neck and along my forearms. I hadn’t even looked at him yet.

  Because my body was disobedient and oppositional when it came to Gabriel, my head turned automatically, my eyes whisking over to find his waiting. The moment I collided with his gaze, I felt struck by a jolt of electricity, firing every cell in my body. I swallowed and looked away, reaching for a cracker and stuffing it in my mouth. I could chew my feelings away. That was always effective.

  “Can I have one?” he asked, his voice low.

  I was so rattled, caugh
t between anger and desire and the acute ache of missing him.

  Sliding the plate between us, I nodded and looked away. That took an effort. Because I wanted to soak him in. I’d barely been able to stop thinking about him ever since he rescued me from my stupid washer situation.

  He ate a few crackers with cheese, pausing afterward to take a long pull from a beer. Conversation carried on around us, the usual banter and friendly teasing.

  “Are we not talking again?” Gabriel’s words were just above a whisper, and only I could hear them.

  Still, I looked around quickly, worried someone else would notice. Daphne and Cat were currently checking on something in the oven while Daphne explained something to Cat. Flynn was over by the table, joking around with Elias, who somehow appeared without me even noticing. Diego, Grant, and Tucker were debating the merits of two different types of beer from the local brewery.

  My eyes arced over to the archway that led into the main area, where the guests often relaxed and mingled. A family was passing through, pulling on jackets as they walked out to the main entrance.

  I finally gathered up the nerve to look into Gabriel’s eyes again. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. It was more that I was afraid of how much I did want to. “We’re talking,” I said, my tone almost mulish.

  His eyes searched my face, and I resisted the urge to squirm in my seat. He knew me too well, too intimately, and I didn’t like feeling so uncertain and vulnerable. And so needy, so very needy.

  “That’s good,” he finally murmured.

  I was beyond relieved when Elias’s girlfriend, Cammie, appeared. “Hey!” I called the moment she came through the back door.

  Her honey brown hair swung around her shoulders, her blue eyes lifting to mine with a smile. She held up a paper bag. “I brought wine since it’s dinner. I’m not having any, but I figured you all might want some.”