Back To Us (Dare With Me Series Book 4)

by J. H. Croix

  She stopped beside me at the corner of the counter, sliding several bottles of wine out of the bag and setting them there. Daphne crossed over as she dried her hands on a towel. “Oh, perfect. We can always use more wine. How come you’re not having any?”

  Cammi’s cheeks went pink just as Elias came to Cammi’s side, leaning over to give her a lingering kiss as he slid an arm around her waist. “Hey there.”

  She smiled up at him. It was no more than a blink of a moment, but the look that passed between them was so intimate, I had to look away. My heart ached, and my throat was tight. I wanted that. A man who loved me the way Elias loved Cammi.

  When he lifted his head, Daphne cleared her throat. “Well?”

  Cammi bit her lip and took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

  Daphne squealed and clapped her hands.

  Elias looked slightly puzzled. Cammi grinned up at him after she stepped back from a hug from Daphne. “I told you the guys wouldn’t think it was a big deal.”

  “What do you mean?” Cat asked.

  Cammi shrugged lightly. “Elias told Diego and Gabriel about it last week.”

  Laughter rumbled around us, and there were more congratulations. Somehow, I managed to chat casually with my friends and family. I was really happy for Elias and Cammi. Really. It wasn’t as if I wanted an instant family. But it hurt to see how easily they’d fallen in love and how simple it was for them after that. It wasn’t simple for me. Not at all.

  My nerves were strung tight when Gabriel sat beside me at the table. I’d had good reasons for not talking to him. It had made it easier for me to hold on to my anger and not wish for more with him.

  I didn’t know what he thought he was doing, but I nearly jumped out of my chair when I felt his palm slide over my thigh in a soothing stroke. He reached for my hand and curled his around it. All of this took place under the table where no one could see.

  I couldn’t bring myself to shove his touch away. I craved it. His palm was warm around mine, and his thumb brushed in idle strokes along the sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist. Even worse, my emotions rose swiftly to the surface. Because it made me feel like he wanted me. It made me feel like maybe he did love me.

  My righteous anger was slipping through my fingers, like sand caught in the wind and blown away.

  Chapter Twelve

  Nora

  It was approaching eleven at night, and I was restless. After dinner, I’d escaped back to my place, thinking I needed something to distract me. Unfortunately, nothing was working. I’d flipped mindlessly through television channels, and I’d even taken a bath. Usually, a bath would help me wind down. Unfortunately, the only thing I could think of while I was in the tub was the last time I’d taken a bath with Gabriel. I’d been mastering the art of avoiding my memories of Gabriel over the past few months.

  And for good reason, it seemed. Because all I could remember was the water sloshing over the edges of the tub when he pulled me over his lap. We’d been laughing. Now, the memory twisted sharp in my heart and left me aching and needy for him.

  Don’t be stupid, my smart mind ordered me.

  That was the part of my brain that knew better. It had fed my anger and reminded my foolish heart why it had been so colossally stupid to fall for Gabriel in the first place.

  There was another voice, perhaps the voice that I had silenced for so long, long before Gabriel. The one that wanted me to think maybe not all men were flaky, unreliable assholes like my father.

  He said he loved you. You know he’s not a bad guy.

  Maybe not, but he’s the one who said he could never commit. How does he know it’s different now?

  It felt like a freaking tennis match in my brain. I was tired of it, and I couldn’t seem to stem the relentless tide of desire that rushed through me, colliding with the tributary of my emotions. I was weary of trying to deny my want for him.

  I didn’t let myself think any further and leaned forward to scoop my phone off the coffee table.

  Me: Come see me.

  The second I fired off that text, my heart cast out rapid beats carelessly as anticipation spun inside. Somehow, it seemed by letting him back in, I was opening the door to my heart again. I was terrified, yet it was taking too much effort to keep that door closed. I felt as if I was still leaning my weight against the barricade I’d built to keep the wind of his presence out of my life. Yet he was with me in my heart all the time. He was also an undeniable physical presence in my life. I couldn’t escape him or my feelings.

  My phone vibrated seconds later.

  Gabriel: On my way to you.

  I didn’t realize I’d been anxious about his reply until my relief rushed through me. Now, he couldn’t get here fast enough.

  Because I was that foolish about Gabriel, I stood and hurried into the bathroom. My hair was still damp and my cheeks still flushed from the bath. The locks were drying in tousled waves. I took stock of myself in the mirror. I considered myself the plainest of my siblings.

  I’d inherited my father’s brown hair and eyes. I studied myself, wondering just what Gabriel saw.

  Annoyed at my ruminations, I splashed cold water on my face and was drying myself with a towel when I heard a sharp knock on the door. I practically ran out of the bathroom, forcing myself to slow my steps when I realized how much I was rushing.

  The beat of my heart reverberated on repeat through my body when I stopped in front of the door. The knob felt cool under my palm, a contrast to the heat banked in my body. Just the knowledge that Gabriel was on the other side of the door fanned the flames. It was like air rushing into a closed space.

  “I can hear you, you know?” Gabriel’s voice reached me through the door, slightly muffled.

  Hearing the hint of amusement in his tone, I almost giggled. I was being ridiculous.

  I swung the door open. He stood there in the darkness. Only the light from inside my house cast over him. His lips barely curled up at one corner, sending my belly into wild flips.

  “You didn’t even turn on the light for me.”

  “I forgot.”

  “When you said you wanted me to come see you, did you mean for me to stand on the porch?”

  The low timbre of his voice played on my nerves, already strung taut. I shook my head, stepping back to let him inside.

  As he passed by, I picked up his scent, musky with a hint of spruce clinging to him. Closing the door behind him, I pressed my palms against the cool, wooden surface. He stopped just beyond the door, turning to face me. “Are we talking?”

  I blinked before shaking my head. “I’d rather not.” My voice came out raspy, like torn velvet, ragged from the sharp edges of my need.

  He closed the distance between us in two long strides. Resting his hands flat on the door, he caged me between his arms. His eyes skated over my face, dipping down and then back up.

  My nipples perked up as if in greeting. It was only then I realized I was wearing a worn T-shirt with no bra. It was one of my favorite comfort shirts, and I didn’t doubt he could see my body’s reaction to his mere presence.

  “It’s important to me for you to understand how I feel,” he said, each word slow and deliberate, his low voice caressing my nerves as his eyes bored into mine.

  “What do you mean?” I rasped.

  “I love you. I want a chance to get back to us.”

  My heart thrashed in my chest, and I felt a low tug in my belly. Yes, yes, yes! My foolish heart was falling for this man.

  I knew I loved him, but I didn’t know how to have faith that he loved me.

  “Is it enough if I say I’ll try to believe you?” I whispered.

  Gabriel was quiet, and I started to feel a little panicky. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want him to hold me at bay. And I knew how ridiculous that was, given that I hadn’t spoken to him for months.

  I needed him; I needed us. I needed the touchstone of our physical connection to remind me why it might be worth it to ris
k it all for him.

  He closed his eyes, leaning his head back as he took a deep breath. When he leveled his gaze with mine again, the look there was so intense it took my breath away. Mind you, between the wild rush of my heartbeat, my breath was shallow to begin with.

  “I’m trying to tell myself that we need to take it slow,” he murmured.

  I finally took one of my palms away from the door, placing it on his chest over his heart, simultaneously reassured and excited by the rapid thump of it.

  “I need you.”

  The words fell between us. I meant them. Completely. Those three words were insufficient to capture the depth and breadth of my need for Gabriel at this moment.

  “Okay,” he whispered.

  Then I watched as he moved slowly, almost as if he was giving me a chance to change my mind. No way in hell was that happening.

  He lifted a hand, lightly brushing his knuckles across the line of my cheekbone. His touch traveled, tracing one of my brows and then moving up along my hairline as he smoothed a loose lock of hair off my cheek. The feel of his fingers brushing over the shell of my ear as he tucked the hair behind it sent fire racing over the surface of my skin.

  “Please.” My request came in a husky whisper.

  He granted my wish. His lips brushed mine once and then again. I heard the reverberation of his low groan against my palm where it was still pressed over his heart. He finally gave me what I wanted, what I craved—a commanding, devouring kiss as he fit his mouth fully over mine.

  I was arching into him, moaning shamelessly into our kiss as I wound my arms around his neck. He lifted me high against him, bringing me with such ease into his strong hold.

  Not many men could make me feel the way Gabriel did—as if he could wrap me into his embrace and protect me and shelter me from anything that came my way.

  I’d never known I craved that feeling until him. My heart shouted out cheers, and my body surrendered to the roar of desire, a wild cacophony between us.

  I didn’t even realize I’d wound my legs around his waist until I felt the hard press of his arousal against me. I was already drenched with need, and my core clenched at the feel and awareness of his response. I was restless. When he drew away, I curled a palm around the back of his head and murmured, “More.”

  His low chuckle sent sparks skating over the surface of my skin. I felt prickly all over, so frantic for him that I spurred my heels into his muscled ass.

  “You asked for me, and you’ve got me, darling, but I am not rushing this. I’ve waited too long for you.”

  Still holding me, he turned and angled over to the side of the room. In another moment, he was carrying me easily up the stairs. Impatient, I nipped at his neck, murmuring, “It’s only been four months.”

  “You’re only counting since you cut me off. I’m dialing back to when I first knew how much I wanted you.”

  Gabriel crested the top stair. That comment got my attention, and I lifted my head from the mouthwatering taste of his skin. He crossed the upstairs landing into my bedroom as I asked, “What do you mean?”

  He wasn’t looking at me as he crossed the room. I didn’t think he was avoiding my gaze, considering he was carrying me. There was no need to collide with furniture on the way. He was a far too practical man for that kind of fumble.

  A moment later, he eased me down on the bed, resting his palms on either side of me on the mattress as he looked into my eyes. “I suppose if I want you to believe I love you, I could start with telling the truth. I wanted you the first time I met you.”

  I blinked. “Five years ago?”

  He nodded slowly and deliberately. “It didn’t seem smart to make a move on the little sister of one of my best friends the very first day I moved here to work for him.”

  My thoughts scrambled to align around this detail. Gabriel had never mentioned this before. He played it off over the past year when we started sneaking around. He made it seem like a new thing for him. In all honesty, it had been a new thing for me.

  I was dumbfounded, and it must have shown on my face because Gabriel lifted one shoulder in a light shrug. “True story.”

  My heartbeat stuttered, catching and then taking off in a thundering beat as we stared at each other. “Oh,” I breathed.

  “Oh.” A teasing, wicked glint entered his eyes, and his lips curled in a belly spinning, sensual smile.

  Then he was kissing me again, and I fell into the flood of need, caught in a current of raw desire, rushing like a river overflowing. His tongue tangled with mine as I felt his weight shift when he lifted a hand off the mattress, cupping my breast through my T-shirt. He thumbed my nipple, and the sensation of his touch with the fabric lightly abrading my skin had me crying out into his mouth. He lifted his head, standing abruptly.

  I whimpered, feeling bereft to have him move away from me. With one hand, Gabriel hooked the hem of his T-shirt and dragged it up and over his head. When he tossed it aside, it fell in a whispering rumple to the floor. Greedy for him, I stretched my hand out, trailing my fingers over his muscled abdomen. He had a lean, rangy build. On the tall side, topping six feet, two inches, he had broad shoulders and arms corded with muscles. There was a light dusting of auburn hair on his chest and a teasing trail that disappeared behind his waistband.

  My fingers immediately reached for the buttons on his fly, and he caught one of my hands in his warm grip. “Slow your roll, darling.”

  Biting my lip, I cast a glare up at him. He replied by palming my cheek and leaning down to catch my lips in a fierce kiss. He had my clothes off in record time, throwing my T-shirt aside and lifting me from the bed to shove my sweatpants down around my hips. I shimmied and kicked them free. This time, he didn’t stop me when I reached for his fly.

  With an assist from him, his jeans were kicked loose, and I sighed as I stroked my palm over the swollen length of his cock. When I moved to push his fitted briefs down, he shook his head, pressing his palm to my chest and levering me backward on the bed.

  “Not yet. I need something to help me stay in control.”

  “You’re always in control, you—” My protest died in a gasp when his mouth captured one of my nipples, sucking just hard enough that a piercing shot of pleasure arrowed from there straight to my core, which clenched in rippling reply.

  “You’re always—” My breath hissed through my teeth when his lips closed over my other nipple, and his touch moved lightly over my belly before I felt his fingers teasing over the damp cotton of my panties.

  “I’m always what?” he murmured as he grazed his teeth over my nipple, the feel of his lips on my skin sending another spasm of pleasure through me.

  “In control,” I gasped out.

  He lifted his head. “Look at me.”

  It took an effort, but I opened my eyes, the lids heavy as I stared at him. “With you, I’m almost never in control. And it’s been four months and six days and thirteen hours since I was last with you like this.”

  My heart thrashed violently in my chest. “You’ve been counting?” My question was a raspy whisper.

  “To the minute.” He glanced at his watch. His tone was solemn as his eyes bored into mine. “Remember? I had to leave early that day to go to Anchorage. We had a fight, and you told me to go.”

  I swallowed as a rush of emotion spun into the pulse of need pounding through me. “Oh,” was all I could muster.

  In another moment, he brought his lips to mine as he pushed the cotton out of the way and teased his fingers through my slippery wet folds. My entire body was pulsing, swollen and achy with need. My sex clenched when he slipped two fingers into me.

  Cast adrift in the current of need and caught in the intensity of finally being with him after too long, I was relieved there was no more talking. I needed this, needed him as much as I needed air to breathe.

  Gabriel’s lips teased, kindling my body with light nips on my neck, a piercing suck on one nipple as he pinched the other. He blazed a trail of fiery k
isses over my belly. One of his palms slid up the inside of my thigh, the firm pressure something for me to hold on to as sensation threatened to spin me loose.

  I felt the pressure of his shoulders between my thighs and then his fingers sinking into me again as his thumb teased over my swollen and aching clit. I was frantic, pleading for more, chasing after a sweet surrender I knew would come like a wave crashing on the shore.

  He licked into my folds, teasing me with his tongue and his fingers as the fire inside kindled hotter and hotter, the flames rushing through me. I was gasping, crying as the pressure drew so tight in my center I thought I might shatter.

  But Gabriel wouldn’t let that happen. When the pressure finally did break loose, I cried out in exquisite ecstasy, and he held me together with soothing strokes of his palms as he rose over me. He hooked one of my knees around his elbow and then filled me in one deep stroke, seating himself deeply as my climax still rippled.

  “Nora,” he whispered in a gruff command.

  When I opened my eyes, I was ensnared instantly in his gaze, the gold flecks in his green eyes like embers of fire. My heart thumped hard, in tune with his as his weight came down over me.

  Maybe I could believe he loved me. Just thinking that felt so dangerous I was relieved when his lips claimed mine, and he drew back before filling me once again.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Gabriel

  “Nora.” Her name came out slurred, my voice thickened with the intense sensation of being inside her again. The relief of being joined with her was so powerful, my entire body hummed in pleasure.

  Her silky, clenching core stroked and rippled around me as her hips rose to meet my every stroke. Her skin was damp, and there was a wildness to her, an abandon I hadn’t felt from her before.

  My own release was already threatening, electricity sizzling at the base of my spine as my balls felt heavy, drawing tight against my body when I sank into her yet again. I reached between us, resting my weight on one elbow as I found her swollen bud.