by M. A. Church
Temple laughed. “The more I hear about this guy, the more I really wish we had an opportunity to meet him.”
“He does sound interesting,” Shea added.
I raised our clasped hands and kissed Aidric’s knuckles. “Indeed he does. Maybe one day soon we’ll get a chance to meet Kirk.”
Aidric didn’t say anything, just raised an eyebrow as he glanced at me. Yes, I was dropping hints. If we mated, I hoped we’d be invited back to the clowder lands and get to meet this highly interesting person named Kirk. Cats might be sneaky, but wolves were tenacious.
We returned to the pack house, and Shea and Temple went on their way. I really needed to take a shower to wash the scent of blood and sweat off me. I asked Aidric if he wanted to join me, which set off some cute blushes and stuttering until I specified I meant for him to wait in my room, not get in the shower. Of course if I thought I could’ve gotten him in the shower, I would’ve suggested that instead.
We entered my bedroom, and I stopped Aidric. “I’m really sorry about what happened. I couldn’t hear when the drill was going. It has a sound kind of like white noise, and it disrupts our hearing.”
“Yes, it took me halfway through the conversation to figure out when one of you guys stopped drilling, she stopped talking.”
“All I could think about was getting to you when the drill stopped and I heard Delaney’s voice.”
“You certainly made an impact when you got to the kitchen. By the way, are you okay?” Aidric asked.
“Yes, why?”
“Just asking.” Aidric wandered around my bedroom. “He got in one or two good hits, but I wasn’t sure how you’d react if I asked in public. I didn’t know if it would appear as if I had doubts in your ability to defend yourself if I asked.”
Aidric was catching on quicker to werewolf culture than I had given him credit for. “Actually yes, you’re correct. It would’ve come across that way.”
“I wondered, so that’s why I didn’t ask.” Aidric huffed in exasperation as he stopped by the bedroom windows. “Although I have none. Doubts, that is. You’re the biggest werewolf I’ve ever seen, and I’ve met an Alpha or two through the years.”
“Why thank you.”
“You’re definitely well-trained and powerful.” Aidric turned from the windows. “But I should swat you with a rolled-up newspaper for putting me in that situation to begin with.”
My mouth dropped. Now I was the bad guy? “Excuse me?”
“You should’ve told me your ex-girlfriend had a brother who was holding a grudge.”
“Are you taking me to task?” It appeared that way.
“You better believe it. Look, man, I may not be as muscle-bound as most werewolves. I’m certainly not as powerful as you, but I wouldn’t be, since I’m not an Alpha. But—no, let me finish,” Aidric said when I opened my mouth. “But I’m a beta, and I’m powerful in my own right.”
“I never said you weren’t.”
“I know you didn’t, but I want to make it clear that I’m not doing the damsel-in-distress gig with you. When I shift, I may not be as big as a wolf, but that doesn’t mean I’m incapable. I have fangs and claws just like you guys. I can fight, and I can defend. I also retreat when it’s the safest option.”
“So what? Are you saying you wanted to fight Delaney?”
“No, because that was a werewolf thing, and it involved you and your werewolves. It might’ve been because of me, but as Alpha, it was your right and responsibility to deal with it. I know that. You should’ve given me fair warning she had a brother. That’s what I’m taking you to task for. Would you let one of your betas enter a situation unequipped with the information they needed?”
“By Fenrir, no.”
“Then don’t do that to me. I have rank, which I earned. Just because we mate doesn’t mean the core of who I am will change.”
I caught myself rubbing my hand across my head. “Okay, yes, you’re right. I should’ve told you, but I didn’t think about it. Everybody here knows one another, but that’s no excuse for the ineptness on my part. I’m sorry and… what? What did you say?”
“Huh?”
I hurried across the room, grabbed Aidric by his arms, and almost lifted him completely off his feet. “You said ‘just because we mate’ a minute ago. I know you did.”
Aidric’s smile was soft and sweet. “Can’t get nothing by you, now can I?”
My wolf howled happily in my mind, bouncing about madly. Damn wolf. I crushed Aidric to me. He hadn’t been here a full day yet, and he’d already made up his mind? Why? “How? What changed?”
“Because you defended me against two of your pack members. You handled Meme’s disrespect in a way that not only befitted her station but also was nonviolent. Delaney you put in his place by bruising up his ego some… but he’ll recover.”
“Did I… did I say something out loud?”
“Yes, you did.”
“Oh.” I lowered Aidric back to his feet. “I only did what any good Alpha would do.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. I couldn’t be mated to someone who had no respect for the more senior members of their group. You handled her situation perfectly. But when violence was called for, you knew where to draw the line. Both punishments were tempered by mercy. I respect that.”
“I…. While I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, this afternoon wasn’t about trying to score points with you. It was—”
“It was you being you. It was you stopping to help one of your older members. I admire how you want to help everyone in your pack. It’s not your fault this afternoon went tits up.”
I snorted.
“You handled both situations with precision and care, and at the same time, you showed you wouldn’t tolerate insults aimed at me. How can I not respect that? You made it clear if a pack member didn’t accept me, they could leave. How could I possibly doubt your dedication to this? You really want me as your mate.”
I ran my hands down his arms, then clasped his hands. “I told you I did.”
“Actions mean more than words to me.” Aidric sighed, though. “While you may want me, I’m not sure the rest of your pack ever will.”
“Then maybe it’s time they readjust their thinking.”
Aidric’s lips twitched, and then he gave up the fight not to laugh. “Would you believe someone said something similar to me not long after we met?”
“Then that person obviously is a smart individual.”
“Yes, I’m sure he’d agree with you. Now go shower. You stink.”
Chapter Eleven
Aidric
I SPENT the next few days with Carter, Temple, or Shea. It almost seemed as if Carter were keeping his pack away from me after what happened with Meme. I didn’t particularly want to mix with them either, but it defeated the purpose of my being here. When Carter and I were alone, we either played pool, watched movies, or rode the four-wheeler around his lands.
The only time I met other werewolves was at meals, and those kept at a distance. It was Shea who let it slip Carter had a sister who lived in his pack. I wondered why I hadn’t met her. On the other hand, I wasn’t ready for the whole meeting-the-family routine. Hell, I was still trying to adjust to Carter and his larger-than-life presence.
Those were problems I’d have to tackle soon enough. Right now I had other things to worry about, though, like the argument Carter and I were currently in the middle of. He wanted to mate before I went back to my clowder. I didn’t feel like the time was right… but what I was waiting for, I didn’t know. My cat was all for it. Actually in his opinion, the sooner the better. But still I hesitated.
On the last day there, I got up early and packed. We ate, and after spending the morning arguing, I finally informed Carter I wasn’t ready and to quit pushing. Then I spent another hour trying to reassure him that didn’t mean I was trying to back out of the mating and that I wasn’t running home to my clowder—which was kind of offensive in and of itself.
I explained as calmly and simply as I knew how that I needed to decide what to do with my cabin, resign my position as beta to Dolf, pack the things I couldn’t live without… and basically say goodbye to my old life.
He didn’t get it. And they say cats are high maintenance. Ha. “Give me a week or two—”
“A week or two!” Carter exclaimed.
“What? Does this mating have an expiration date?”
Carter scowled. “Of course not. It’s just… a week or two is a really long time. A really long time. Do you have any idea how hard it’s going to be for me to convince my wolf that this is a good idea?”
“Try real hard.” I picked up my suitcase and headed for my truck. No point in mentioning my cat was still yowling at me about this. If I could endure that, so could he.
“You will call me every night.”
“I will?”
Carter cringed. “Okay, will you call me every night?”
“Better. And yes, I will.” In a way it was kind of funny. While I stayed with Carter, Dolf insisted I call him every night, which I had. Now that I was returning to clowder lands, Carter insisted I call him every night. The two had more in common than they thought.
“Call me when you get there too. Please,” Carter hastened to add.
I unlocked my truck and put my suitcase in the back seat. I shut the door, then leaned against it, studying Carter. “No problem.”
“If you have any trouble, any trouble at all, call me.”
I was beginning to get an idea what was wrong. “Carter, no one is going to try to talk me out of mating. The first thing Dolf said was that it was my decision, that he would support me in whatever I did. Now stop worrying. I’ll go back, do what I have to do, and return here.”
Carter stared into my eyes. “You promise? You promise to come back?”
I knew my leaving bugged him, but I hadn’t realized how much. I stepped into his arms and ran my hand across his bald head. “You really shouldn’t be out here without a hat,” I muttered. “I’m coming back. I promise. Besides, my Alpha told me a powerful man once said, ‘A male’s word is often the only true thing he has.’”
Carter smiled. “Dolf called me powerful?”
“You didn’t hear that from me.” I winked, stepped out of his arms, and opened my truck door. “I’ll text you when I get home.”
“You’re going to your cabin first?”
“Yes.” I got in the truck, turned it on, and lowered the driver window. “I need to unpack, and then I’ll call Dolf and arrange a meeting. But I will call you before I go to bed tonight. Plan on two weeks at least. If it looks like it’s going to be shorter, I’ll let you know.”
“Two weeks.” Carter sighed.
“You’ll survive.”
“That’s debatable, but anyway, have a safe trip. I’ll talk to you soon.” Carter patted the top of my truck and then stepped out of the way.
Never would I have dreamed it’d be so hard to leave.
SEVERAL HOURS later I pulled in front of my cabin and sent a quick text to Carter letting him know I arrived safely. I grabbed something to eat, unpacked, and then called Dolf. He was at home and had time to meet. A little while later, I pulled in his driveway.
The house was off the road, with mature trees surrounding it. There was a pond off to the side. Our Alpha’s house really was a thing of beauty. Damn thing was a huge log house with a soaring V-shaped prow window wall in front.
There was a stone chimney to the left of the bank of windows. The same stone made up the borders of the flowerbeds out front. The place was gorgeous and fit naturally into the surrounding landscape.
I parked, got out, and knocked on Dolf’s door.
A moment later Dolf opened the door. “Hey, Aidric, come on in.”
“Thanks.” I followed him back toward his office. “Kirk and Tal working?”
“Yes. Kirk’s garage has become so popular he’s had to hire several more mechanics. Tal is working on a day-care facility.”
“Sounds like both are doing really well.”
“Yep. Can’t complain.” Dolf stood in the doorway of his office and waved me inside.
I passed him and sat down at the table we often used for informal meetings. “Everything else okay?”
Dolf joined me. “Things are pretty calm right now.”
“I’m glad to hear that, although I’m afraid I’m going to disrupt that for you.”
Dolf smiled. “I take it you’ve reached a decision?”
Nerves flared. “Yes, I have.”
“I can already see it in your eyes. You’ve decided to accept Carter as your mate.”
“Yes.”
Dolf hurried over to me, pulled me up, and hugged me. “Congratulations.”
“T-thanks.” I wasn’t expecting to get choked up, but I did. After he hugged me, Dolf sat again.
I scrubbed my hands over my face. “I guess there really wasn’t a question of me not accepting this. I just…. My cat’s not disturbed about Carter being a werewolf. Not in the least. I may have all sorts of reservations, but he doesn’t. I…. There’s something there, and I want to explore it.”
“It pays to listen to your cat. They often see things much clearer than we do. Tell me, how did you feel about your time there?”
“I—I…. Shea and Temple are okay, I guess. The younger wolves were friendlier than the ones in our age group. I… I told you everything that happened. There were a few of his wolves who acted inappropriately, and he took care of it.”
“Okay, let me try this again. Yes, you told me what happened, but tell me how you feel.”
“Carter—”
“Not Carter. You. I want to know how you feel.”
I threw my hands up in the air. “I feel like I don’t fit, okay? Carter wants me. I know he wants me but, but…. The problem is there’s more than just him to that pack of his. They’re about fifty strong.”
“Just a bit bigger than ours, then.”
“But, but… we… dammit.” How did I put this?
“What? Were you going to say we’ve accepted every new member with open arms? Because I promise you Kirk and Lawson would tell you differently. Marshell too. And Janelle, for that matter.”
“I know that, but….” But it hadn’t been me on the receiving end, and I didn’t know how to say that without sounding like a humongous asshole. “Okay, fine, I get what you’re saying. If they can do it, then so can I.”
“Actually I was thinking more along the lines of they didn’t give up, and you can’t either. Out of all of my betas, you’re the one who digs in his heels the most.”
I rubbed my temples. “I’ve just never—”
“Never been on the outside looking in? Been considered inferior because of your species? Been in the minority?”
“Yeah, and doesn’t that make me sound incredibly privileged.”
“It makes you sound like someone who has had to readjust your way of thinking.” Dolf sighed. “We all have. Don’t get me wrong. It’s been way overdue, but that’s not to say it’s necessarily painless. When the things we take for granted are suddenly cast in doubt, it can be an eye-opening and uncomfortable experience. Not all like change.”
“I just don’t understand why they think I’m so much less because of what I shift into.”
Dolf raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, when you grow up thinking a certain way, it’s hard to change it.”
“But that doesn’t mean that way of thinking is right. I’m beginning to wonder if all these gods and goddesses aren’t sitting around somewhere looking down upon us—maybe discussing certain things they’re unhappy with.”
I reared back. “Why in the world would you say that?”
“Well, when I brought Kirk into our clowder, I certainly shook things up. And I’m not done. Now with this mating between you and Carter, it’s beginning to look like the same sort of deal with them. His pack is unhappy that the status quo is being changed on them. Ironic, i
sn’t it?”
“I never wanted to blaze new paths.”
“Most of the people who do… don’t. That doesn’t change the fact they do what needs to be done. They do it because it’s needed.”
“Fuck.”
Dolf snorted. “Eloquent. But seriously, this isn’t going to be easy. You’re going to struggle, and your feelings are going to get hurt. Carter’s going to get pissed about that because you’re his mate. I’m here to tell you when your mate is unhappy and hurting, you’re unhappy and hurting.”
“Like when the humans say ‘if Mama is unhappy, nobody’s happy’?”
“Basically yes. Things are going to be said and done that can’t be undone. It’s easier to forgive, but sometimes it’s hard to forget. But you’re strong. I truly believe our goddess wouldn’t have set you on this path if she didn’t think you could survive.”
“We hope.”
“Oh, I have no doubt. Keep in mind the road may be rough, but don’t you think your mate is worth any sacrifice?”
“I hope so. You know we haven’t mated yet.”
“I know. I can tell. Honestly I’m surprised you returned here without bearing his mark.”
“He didn’t want me to, but I didn’t feel the time was right. We just met, for crying out loud. If we’re going to be bound together forever, I want to know more about the man who my life is going to be tied to.”
“And your cat?”
“Pissed that I’m denying him what he wants.”
Dolf laughed. “A pissed-off cat is never a good thing.”
I nodded. “Got that right. Okay, then. Let’s get on with it. Alpha Dolfoon Hoyer, I, Aidric LeClair, formally resign my position of beta to the West Falls Clowder. May the goddess’s favor shine down on your new beta.”
“I, Alpha Dolfoon Hoyer of the West Falls Clowder, do so hereby accept your resignation. The loss of you as my beta saddens me, but I know in my heart of hearts you will forge new connections. Be it known that you are always welcome here, Aidric LeClair. Be well and go with our goddess in your new life.”