by M. A. Church
“Aidric?”
“I… don’t know what to say.” Obviously avoidance wasn’t going to work, so truth it was. “Something really weird happened when I was making love to you. There were all these random thoughts in my head, but I remember thinking, when I tasted your blood, how I could sense your purpose and determination. I got a sense of you.”
“Um, okay. Is that a werecat thing?”
“No.” Not yet willing to look him in the eye, I played with his chest hair. How very different from us. Werecats didn’t have a lot of body hair. “I take it what I saw and felt isn’t normal for werewolves?”
“I’m afraid not. I know several mated couples, and it’s never been mentioned. Ever.” Carter covered my hand with his. “You saw something, didn’t you?”
I shrugged.
“Come on. Something happened between us, and I need to know what it was. Tell me, please?”
I didn’t want to tell him what I saw, but I didn’t know why. Staid old Aidric apparently had to be different from every other werecat in creation. “Right before I came, I saw this blue… I guess you would call it a tendril of energy drifting out from me toward you. I remember thinking the energy, or whatever it was, was blue like my eyes in shifted form.”
“No one has ever mentioned this before?”
“No, they haven’t.” I rolled onto my back. “Believe me, as open as Kirk is, he would’ve said something. The man has no filter.”
“So you saw something that looked like energy, and it was the color of your cat’s eyes.”
“Yes. I was fighting not to come, but as soon as I saw it, I lost control and came. I watched as whatever is was hit you square in the chest, right where your heart is. You jerked and came too.”
Carter rolled on his side and reached for me. “Hey, what are you doing way over there?”
Okay, not what I was expecting. “What do you mean way over here?”
“I mean get back over here next to me. Why are you putting space between us?” Carter scowled. “Wait a minute. Don’t tell me you got it in that overactive mind of yours this somehow makes you weird.”
How could he know me this well so soon? “Well, it is weird, isn’t it? You’ve never heard of it, and neither have I.”
Carter pulled me against him and rolled over onto his back. “Stop that crap. What just happened between us isn’t weird. Unique, maybe, and I’m fine with that. You said you saw things about me.”
“It was almost like I was seeing you… Carter the man. Not Carter the Alpha werewolf.”
“Did you like what you saw?” Carter pulled me closer and rested his chin against my hair.
“I did. I felt like… felt like I actually knew you. I felt close to you. I remember thinking you were the one for me, that you had been made especially for me, and how nothing, and no one, was going to stop me from mating you.”
Carter sighed, ruffling my hair. “I like that. I like that you got to see inside of me, got to see what very few do.”
“You didn’t experience the same thing, did you?”
Carter shrugged. “No, I didn’t, but I haven’t mated you yet.”
“Huh.” He did have a point. “Do you think it’s connected to us mating?”
“Well, I don’t have anything else to go on, but my gut says yes. I never ignore my gut. I guess we’ll just have to see what—” Carter turned toward the bedroom door and growled harshly.
Confused, I glanced at the door. Seconds later there was frantic knocking.
Chapter Eighteen
Carter
I CAUGHT Temple’s scent right before he knocked.
“Alpha?”
“What?” I bellowed, and Aidric stiffened next to me. Unease filled the room, the scent hot and dry, and swept away Aidric’s unique vanilla scent and the smell of our lovemaking. Lovemaking? Yeah. What we did wasn’t just fucking.
“Phone call on your private line in your office, and—”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Beating Temple’s ass just rocketed to the top of my list of things to do as soon as I got through claiming my mate. I sat up in bed, beyond pissed. “Dammit, Temple, you asshole, I’m right in the middle of—”
Aidric scrambled up too and sniffed. Frowning, he glanced at the door. “Um, Carter—”
“It’s Bram. Alpha, please, you need to come now.”
Bram? For the second time in my life, shock held me immobile. Bram was on the phone? Why hadn’t he come here? Or returned to his Alpha? What the fuck was he doing on the phone, by all that was holy? And Keegan. Coldness washed through me. Keegan was supposed to be in his room doing homework. Had he heard what Temple just shouted through my closed door?
Aidric shoved me, then scrambled out of bed, practically running for the master bath. It was exactly what I needed to break the spell that held me. “I’m coming!”
Fucking hell, what if Bram hung up before I could get there? I leaped out of bed. Aidric rushed back in and tossed me a warm washcloth. I blushed when I figured out what it was for. Quickly I cleaned up, then grabbed my discarded jeans, yanking them on. Buttoning them, I glanced over as Aidric frantically looked for his clothes.
“Where the hell are my—”
“Here.” I yanked the jeans off the floor and tossed them at him. He didn’t even have them buttoned before I threw open the bedroom door.
Temple stepped out of the way, his face flushed and tight with worry. “I’m so sorry for interrupting.”
“No, believe me, this is the only thing that wouldn’t have gotten your ass beat.” I thundered down the stairs with Aidric hot on my heels.
Shea stood by my desk, talking quietly into the phone. “Okay, Bram, he’s here.”
Panting, fighting not to panic and let my claws emerge, I took the phone from Shea. I had to swallow before I spoke. “Bram?”
“I’m sorry, Carter.”
My stomach dropped at how broken and desolate he sounded. Even over the phone, his pain batted at me. Then his words hit me. What had he done? Or was going to do? “Sorry? Sorry for what? Bram, listen to me—”
“I’m renouncing my rights and giving you full custody of Keegan.”
The room tilted, and my knees threatened to give out. Slamming my hand down on my desk, I steadied myself. Raising Bram’s pup until my brother returned to his senses was one thing, but this? This had never occurred to me. My mind was a scrambled mess.
“Bram, please, let’s talk about this. Come here, or… or I can come to you. Just tell me where you are. I’ll do whatever is best for you. But please—”
“It’s all dead. Everything. I’m dead too. Raise my pup right.”
I stopped breathing when Bram hung up. “No,” I whispered, the urge to throw up overwhelming. What did that mean? “No! Bram? Bram!”
“Uncle Carter? W-was that my dad?”
Horror washed over me, cold and clammy against my skin. Gasping, my heart aching with what I had to do, I turned to Keegan, who stood in the doorway. “Keegan—”
“He’s gone, ain’t he?” Keegan sniffled. “He ain’t coming back.”
He was mine now, and I was about to destroy what was left of his world. “I…. He gave me full custody of you. Just now.”
“H-he didn’t even want to talk to me, d-did he?”
Fenrir help me. “Keegan, pup, I….” My eyes stung. Keegan hunched his shoulders, his little body folding in on itself. I’d give up my Alpha position, something I never thought I’d voluntarily do, if I could only save him from this pain.
I dropped the phone on my desk and went down on bended knee. Something tickled my cheek, and I wiped at it, irritated. My fingers came away wet. Surprised, I stared at my hand. Alphas didn’t cry. It was a weakness we couldn’t show, but Keegan was breaking my heart, and I didn’t give a damn who saw me in tears.
Maybe Keegan needed this too.
“He’s not in his right mind because of the grief, and, although it doesn’t seem like it, giving me custody shows just how much
he does love you.”
Tears rose in Keegan’s eyes. “But he doesn’t love me enough to even speak with me.”
How could I explain I didn’t know how long it would be before Bram could fully function? If ever. And that right there is what terrified me down to my toes.
I opened my arms. “I… I….” Helplessly I looked from Keegan to Aidric, who was standing off to the side. “He does love you; that’s why he did this. For you. He did this for you. You’re all he has left, but right now…. He’s lost, Keegan. Lost and hurting. He’s gone feral, and he can’t take care of you for now.”
“Do you want me?”
Oh gods, this pup was killing me. Tears tracked down my face. “More than anything.”
Keegan hurled himself at me. The impact of him flinging himself into my arms overbalanced me, and I sat down hard on my ass, his body fit snugly against mine. The acidic smell of grief burned my nose as he burrowed closer. I loved my pack, my brother…. Hell, even though I wasn’t sure what it was exactly I felt for Aidric, he was mine too.
But this pup in my arms—he’d broken my heart with his indescribable pain, but his easy acceptance of my offer of comfort took root in that barren landscape. As he choked and sobbed, his tears drenching my skin, he became mine. That he wasn’t from my seed didn’t matter.
We stayed on the floor, him in my arms, until he cried himself out. I glanced up, surprised to see everybody had cleared out of my office. I was momentarily concerned about Aidric, but I knew Shea and Temple would stick close to him.
Keegan pulled out of my arms and sat next to me. I rose and grabbed a box of Kleenex that sat on the cabinet next to my desk. Sitting back down next to him, I waited for him to blow his nose and wipe his face. I tossed the tissue in the trash, and Keegan curled up against my side.
I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him closer. “If I’m going to raise you, I would like for you to join my pack officially.”
Keegan blinked. “I… I…. Okay.” Keegan sighed. “That makes sense. What do I have to do?”
“It’s nothing big. You simply ask to become part of my pack. Then I say I accept you. Once I do that, you’ll feel your bond breaking with your old pack. One sharp sudden pain in your chest, and it’ll be done. It won’t be too bad since your old Alpha isn’t contesting you leaving.”
“Will the pain be bad?”
“Since you’re a pup, it shouldn’t be, and it won’t last but just a few seconds. Then you’ll feel a connection to me. I’ll feel one to you also. Think of it like a spiderweb. All the silken threads connect to me, and I’m in the middle. Once you become a member, you’ll share a connection with me, and to some degree, the rest of my pack.”
“Oh yeah, I felt that with Alpha Daniel.”
“There’s something else. Since you’re connected to me by blood, I would like to name you as my heir.” I prayed I wasn’t overwhelming him.
“What’s that mean?”
“Well, basically it means if something should happen to me, or if I resign my position as Alpha, you would become leader of my pack.”
“Why would you want me to be your heir?”
“There are a couple reasons, but the main one is my mate is male. I can’t have pups with him. There are other ways to do it, things that he and I have not had a chance to talk about, really, yet, but you are blood of my blood, and you are also an Alpha. I would like to do this, if that’s okay with you. Keep in mind, though, we can change that at any time, if you want.”
“You really want me leading your pack one day?”
“I do, yes. You’re strong, Keegan. It may not feel like it right now with all that you’re going through, but you have the strength and determination to be a leader. I honestly think you’ll be a good one too.”
“And I can get out of it if I want?”
“Absolutely.”
“You really want me, don’t you?”
Damn tears were choking me again. “I really do.”
Keegan took a long breath and slowly let it go. He straightened up, squared his shoulders, and looked me dead in the eye. “Alpha Lovelock, can I join the… the…. I can’t remember the name of your pack.” Keegan frowned. “I’ve never done this before.”
“Of course. You were born into your pack, so it was automatic,” I said. “My pack name is the Dark Lake Pack.”
“Yeah. I want to join the Dark Lake Pack.”
Pride swelled within me. “Keegan Lovelock, I would be proud to accept you as part of the Dark Lake Pack.”
Keegan grabbed his chest, whimpered, then clenched his eyes tightly closed. “Ow.”
I hated that it hurt, even if it was short and fast. He’d been through enough, but this couldn’t be helped. “Yeah, it isn’t pleasant, but it should be fast.”
Keegan nodded and opened his eyes. “It was.” Then Keegan’s eyes widened. “I can feel you,” he whispered.
“I can feel you too.” Suddenly he was there—pain, grief, and… thank all the gods… a budding happiness. “Welcome to my pack.”
Contentment briefly lightened Keegan’s face. “Thank you. And I want to be your heir.” Keegan suddenly laughed. “That’s such a funny name. Sounds like hair, and you don’t have any.” Then Keegan squinted at my head. “Will becoming Alpha here mean I’ll lose my hair?”
“Ah, well….”
“I was kidding, Uncle Carter.”
I ruffled his black hair, and he let out a put-upon sigh but still grinned. “Funny pup.” Keegan was one of the few who were brave enough to ask me. Some of the pack that had been around since I was a pup already knew the story. “Okay, see, when I was younger, like a lot younger, I rebelled when I found out I was an Alpha. I didn’t want the responsibility.”
“Is it a lot of responsibility?”
“Yes. Sometimes it can be very irritating, but it can also be very rewarding. Anyway, I decided to teach my old man a lesson about trying to push responsibility off on me I wasn’t sure I was ready for, so to disguise my status, I started shaving my head.”
“Did your dad get mad?”
“Oh yes. We fought over it constantly, but I kept doing it. After a while I realized I liked it. The lack of hair tends to throw others off-balance. They can feel my power, but they can’t be sure exactly what I am without seeing my wolf.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Alpha werewolves have a black coat in wolf form. When we shift, those who are not Alphas have coats that are a combination of white, gray, and different shades of brown.”
“I see. Sneaky.”
“Yup. So, still want to be my heir?”
Keegan worried his lower lip, then nodded. “Yeah, Uncle Carter, I want to be your heir.”
I stood and helped him up. The pup had no idea what he’d just agreed to, but it was now my responsibility to make sure he understood. “Then consider it done. I’ll have something written up to make it official, but as of right now, you’re the next Alpha of the Dark Lake Pack.”
“Cool!” Keegan bounced on his toes. “That rocks!”
Just like that, I got a glimpse into the pup he was before he lost everything important to him.
Keegan rubbed his nose again, then leaned closer and sniffed. “Why do you smell like a cat, Uncle Carter?”
Oh damn. Several things ran through my mind, and none of them were appropriate for a pup. “Remember me telling you my mate was a werecat? We were in the process of mating when…. Anyway, that’s why you smell cat on me.”
“Can I meet him? What kind of cat? How big is he? Can he purr? Chase stuff? Oh! We got any boxes around here? Cats like them. Can I play with him?”
My head spun. Just how many questions did this pup have? And he wanted to play with Aidric in his cat form? Hell, I was hoping I would get to play with him too, in a sexual way, but it wasn’t looking too good right now.
“I would love for you to meet him.” I looked around. “Just as soon as I figure out where he went.”
Chapter Nin
eteen
Aidric
WELL, THAT was just heart-wrenching. I caught Shea’s eye and nodded toward the office door. Carter and Keegan needed privacy. Shea discreetly tapped Temple on the shoulder to get his attention, and they followed me outside. I needed a breath of fresh air.
“Fuck,” Temple said, scrubbing his hands over his face.
“Yeah.” Shea shook his head, discreetly wiping his eyes. “Bram sounded…. I can’t imagine what he must be going through. I’m so glad his mind was clear enough to do this.”
Carter said werecats had the short end of the stick since we died when we lost our mate. I wasn’t so sure now after seeing this. “That poor kitten.” Watching that had been one of the most difficult things I’d ever done. But it also showed me a side of Carter he kept deeply buried.
“Pup,” Temple gently corrected me. “We call our kids pups.”
“Huh? Oh.” Right. Got to learn the terminology. “Right. Pup. Sorry about that, I’m just used to—”
“Shea!” Another werewolf I’d yet to be introduced to waved frantically.
“Oh gods, now what?” Shea muttered, quickly hiding the scowl that crossed his face at hearing his name called.
Was it bad I echoed that thought?
“What’s up, Wes?” Shea asked.
“Where’s Carter?” Wes skidded to a stop in front of Shea. “Jack and Baylor mated. Baylor’s starting the transformation, but he’s having problems breathing.”
“What do you mean he’s having problems breathing?” Shea demanded. “That’s not specific enough.”
“Jack called me and said Baylor started gasping and choking after he bit him. Why he didn’t call one of you, I have no idea, but anyway. Have you ever heard of such?” Wes wrung his hands together. “We really need Carter.”
“Carter’s dealing with his nephew right now. Pup just had a major meltdown. Let me check on Baylor. Is he breathing at all? I’m assuming he is,” Shea said. “Where are they?”
“I don’t think he ever stopped, so that’s good, but he’s having trouble. Jack didn’t know what to do or how to help,” Wes said. “They’re at Jack’s house, and he’s scared shitless.”