by Claire Adams
She was at the end of her sophomore year, and we had a pep rally. Rebecca grew up here, but I’d never noticed her before. I was so self-absorbed in my goals and friends, but that day, it was like a spotlight shined on her.
She was gorgeous. When she glanced at me, I knew I was done for. We talked the following week, and I asked her out. By the time we started the next year of school, the two of us were a couple. I lost myself in those great memories as I drove home. We spent summers at the drive-in, the creek, and the diner, with friends or just the two of us. We were always laughing, and I knew that I could be myself with her.
Too bad that version of me thought more about college in New York, followed by a career. I didn’t know then how many regrets I would have about leaving her behind. I didn’t see that I hurt her every time I talked about my future, but I saw that now.
I saw a lot of things now that I’d already fucked up. I had a life in New York that I’d worked too hard to build for me to come back here. I wouldn’t have the connections here nor the success.
I drove back to my parents’ house and looked the town over as I drove. Seeing everyone so excited for my career and treating me like a celebrity felt good, but I was no longer a part of this town. I had a life elsewhere, and while I would enjoy the time here, I also knew I had to leave eventually. I wanted more than anything to bring my parents and Rebecca with me, but they’d made their choice every single time that I asked them to join me.
I knew that today, Rebecca still wouldn’t come with me. We had no future. I swallowed the lump in my throat. She was the only woman I ever loved. More than likely, Rebecca was the only woman I would ever love, based on the last decade of my life. I still had my work at home waiting for me and my success, which would never go away if I kept pushing myself. Hell, even if it did, I was a billionaire and could do anything I wanted in my life.
Mom was cooking a roast when I arrived home. She took one look at my face and walked over to me. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, just tired. I spent a lot of time with Seth and his dad, catching up. The weather got rough a few times.” I shrugged and went to get a bottle of water from the fridge.
I focused on contacting Preston to see what was going on with the deal. It was the one thing that I felt like I had control over, and my soul craved it, needing something to work out. I felt disappointed in today, even though I’d gone to see Rebecca with no real expectations.
I sure as hell didn’t expect the line about her wanting to marry me. She never told me that before now. I thought she used to love me in some way, but marriage never crossed my mind. The idea of staying here to settle down seemed crazy back when I could only think about getting away, and I thought that Rebecca would come with me.
I thought that I was worth it to her.
We had a quiet dinner before I excused myself to go upstairs. I was in the middle of a text conversation with Preston, needing to know every detail of what was happening. At this point, I’d welcome having to leave to deal with things so I could forget all about North Reed. I had my laptop open, looking at numbers as we moved to chat online with some of the staff and tried to figure out what to do.
I fell asleep hours later to find myself dreaming of the last time that Rebecca and I made love, way out in the country under the night sky. Nothing since then had felt as good. No woman ever felt like she did.
Chapter Ten
Rebecca
I was finishing my shift at the salon when my cell phone rang at my station. I looked at the screen to see that it was my sister calling. I picked it up and headed to the back corner of the room since there were a couple of customers getting cuts now that the weather cleared up a bit.
“Hi, Kim,” I said, leaning against the wall. “Is everything all right?”
“My car won’t start. Brad told me the battery was getting old, but I thought I had some time. Can you take me home? I have wine!”
I laughed softly. After my day, I needed some wine. I’d felt off ever since lunch and even before that.
I never meant to confess about my stupid dreams of marriage to Austin. He seemed to recover fine, and we enjoyed lunch, but a part of me felt empty once I was back at work again. I knew my teenage girl dreams would never happen now. I knew that I still had feelings for Austin, but they were pointless.
“Of course, I can take you home. I’m done here for the day.”
“Good,” Kim said. “You can tell me all about lunch in the car.”
I rolled my eyes. “Stupid small town,” I muttered.
She laughed and told me that she’d see me soon. I told the girls I was heading out and left the salon, pausing on the sidewalk to look around at the thin layer of snow. There was a quiet here that couldn’t exist in a place like New York. I remembered saying goodbye to Austin earlier today. I’d gone back to being in high school, back when I had some hope that we’d work out. I hoped that he would decide to stay here with me.
It was never going to be, and if anything, he’d told me that today.
I wanted my life to go back to some sense of normal once he was gone for good. I knew he didn’t hate it here. I saw the look in his eyes when everyone was so excited to see him today, even if he did seem a bit embarrassed. There was a sense of pride.
I told myself I was happy for him as I walked to my car and unlocked the door. I wanted him to reach his goals and make all the hard work count, and that’s just what happened. It was as it was supposed to be for us. He’d gotten what he wanted, and I was happy here with my job and living near my sister.
None of this would even be an issue if he’d never returned home for the holiday.
I groaned as I started the engine. A pop song played over the speakers, and I backed out carefully, looking for anyone who might be coming down the road. I was accustomed to driving in snow, but that didn’t mean that I loved doing it. I chose to sing along to the words as I made the short drive to the library. I looked the old brick building over as I parked near the doors. It was perfect for what it held, and the idea of it closing devastated me, all because some funds had gotten messy in the city. Kids needed the chance to read and learn, and the mediocre libraries in the schools in town didn’t hold a candle to this one.
A figure made their way down the sidewalk, bundled up in a familiar pink puffy jacket. I unlocked the door so Kim could slide into the passenger seat, giving her a quick hug.
“Did you call Brad?” I asked her.
She nodded. She dated Brad for a minute, and I swore that he still liked her sometimes. He’d probably replace the battery himself.
“Yeah. He’s going to take care of it tonight and get my car home for me.” I rolled my eyes dramatically, and she giggled. “What?”
“You know just how to wrap them around your little finger,” I told her.
She pulled her hood down. “Whatever. I wasn’t the one at lunch with the town celebrity today, was I?” she asked. “How did that happen?”
“You know that we got into a bit that night when my tire was flat.” Kim nodded. “He wanted to apologize, so he came into the salon and lunch came up. It was nothing.” I frowned. “You should have seen Gus, though. Everyone there, for that matter. They freaked out, Kim.”
“Austin is the local boy who did good. Of course, they’re proud of him. I think his parents get special treatment because he’s their son.”
I stopped at a light. “I still see him as the kid who grew up here. I guess since I’ve never seen him in his element, I can’t imagine Austin as anything other than the boy I knew in school.” I shrugged and continued to her house.
“Just better looking, right?” Kim asked.
I glared at her. “You just can’t let that go, can you? Sure, he is, but looks aren’t everything. I think a lot of people seem too focused on everything but the real Austin inside, and I am not one of them.” I parked in the driveway and turned the engine off.
Kim ran to her door to unlock it, and we got inside quickly. “It�
��s so cold!” she told me.
I laughed. “It’s December, silly.” I teased her. She hung her coat up and went to build a fire. “Want me to cook something for us?”
“I have some chicken defrosted,” she said. “We can make that up, and I think I have some veggies. We can have some wine with it.”
I nodded and headed for the kitchen. I pulled everything out of the fridge, and she came in to help me, quickly agreeing with me that we’d fry the chicken and steam the vegetables.
“You do realize that Austin is the entire package, don’t you?” she asked. “That’s why women are throwing themselves at him. He’s gorgeous, wealthy, and smart. That’s what girls in New York probably try to latch onto all the time. Some of my friends here want that!”
“New York Austin is an arrogant ass. I saw the old version of him today. It was nice.” I shook my head. “It was nice, but it was just a glimmer of the guy who I miss.”
“I knew you missed him,” Kim told me as she heated oil in a pan.
“I am not going all blank space over him or anything,” I assured her, referring to the video that she couldn’t get enough of when it first came out.
“I hope not. It wouldn’t be a good look for you.” She grinned. “Think he’d like to be a sugar daddy to your little sister? He could save the library and not miss the money.” Kim joked, but her voice faded at the end.
I gave her a shocked look but could tell she wasn’t serious. We’d never do that to one another, and as much as she talked about Austin, I knew that it was more about me than it was her.
“How is that going?” I asked her.
She pressed her lips together. “Not good. Mark told me today that major budget cuts all over the city are coming up, and we probably don’t stand a chance of staying open.” She prepared the chicken for cooking and gently placed the pieces in the hot oil. “He’s going to give me a good recommendation letter and has been asking around for me. Mark can retire, but I have a lot of time left.” She glanced at me. “San Angelo has a library that is thriving, and they need some help. It’s the closest, and I went to school for so long to be a librarian, Rebecca. It seems a waste to start something new.”
San Angelo was two hours away. I knew it wasn’t impossible to see Kim if she moved there, not like Mom and Dad. It was just too far to pop over to her house anytime I wanted to. I felt the tears in my eyes.
She wrapped an arm around me.
“It will be okay, Rebecca. Don’t give up yet, okay?” Kim sniffled as she turned the chicken again.
I set up the pot to steam the vegetables and distracted myself with that so I wouldn’t turn into a blubbering idiot before dinner. It was hard enough admitting to Austin what I wanted from him eleven years ago, but the idea of Kim moving away would break me. I loved North Reed, but it would be nothing without my sister.
We finished dinner and poured generous glasses of wine before settling on the couch.
Kim found a show. I found myself thinking about the situation as we ate. Kim told me that her boss Mark was looking into every possibility to stay open, and I knew that to be true. His family built the library, and he was as passionate about keeping it open as anybody else was. The budget was just a mess.
“Maybe something good will happen for Christmas,” I said. “A miracle, like everyone always talks about. It’s the time of year to feel hopeful about that stuff, isn’t it?”
She smiled at me. “Yes, it is,” she agreed, and we toasted, clinking our glasses together.
Our parents were planning to come see us, knowing that we both had jobs to worry about. Dad liked to check on the house and his girls, anyway. I knew that he couldn’t single-handedly save the library, but it would be nice to be together as a family again.
We talked about their arrival two days before Christmas and what needed to be done. Mom loved a fresh tree, and we planned to go out for one that we could all decorate together.
“Would Austin help us?” Kim teased me.
I shook my head and shot her a dark look. “Ask Brad to help,” I told her. We both laughed.
“I don’t want to start over in a new place,” Kim said softly. “I’m scared, Rebecca.”
“I know. I am, too,” I admitted.
Yesterday, I wasn’t worried about any of this stuff. We snuggled together to watch the season finale of one of our favorite shows, crying because of the show, as well as our own fears. Kim asked me if I wanted more wine, knowing that I’d stay the night if I agreed. We were both lightweights when it came to wine, and I nodded with a sniffle as I grabbed the box of tissues. “Yeah. I want another bottle after that show.”
We cleaned up together and grabbed some cookies from the pantry before we finished off the bottle of wine in the fridge. I didn’t work the following day and could sleep in her guest room. I’d be here to take her to work if Brad didn’t get the new battery.
I might not get that chance in another few months.
We finished a movie and headed to bed, which was when I checked my phone. It had been in my purse the entire time since the person who contacted me most was by my side. I washed my face and brushed my teeth with a new toothbrush she left, in the hallway bathroom before checking my phone in the dark room. I frowned when I saw that Austin’s mom called me two hours ago.
What was going on?
Chapter Eleven
Austin
Mom set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me. I thanked her and turned my attention back to an email Preston had forwarded to me. My brow furrowed. Things were getting complicated with the Singapore deal. They were pushing for a meeting with our lawyers to hammer out the details. Preston had been working his ass off, but sometimes I had to drop everything and get personally involved with a deal.
That time might be coming soon.
Mom sat down across from me with her own plate, looking worriedly into my face. “Is everything okay?”
“It’s fine, Mom.”
I switched over to read some of the texts from early this morning between Preston and me, trying to see what he thought about all of this. He leaned toward the same option. I set the phone down and reached for my mug of strong coffee. I needed a pot of this. I hadn’t been sleeping well. Thoughts about Rebecca and this deal whirled through my brain, not letting me rest.
I forced myself to focus on the present. It was just Mom and I at the table. Mom’s face was lined with worry. “What about you?” I asked. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, sweetie.” She sipped her own coffee with a thoughtful look on her face.
“Is Dad okay?”
She frowned. My already small appetite faded away. I pushed back from the table to get another cup of coffee.
“I’m worried about him, Austin. I try to feed him the best way I know how and get him out for walks, but he doesn’t want to take the medicine that George keeps pushing on him. You know how stubborn your father can be. He thinks he can take care of this on his own. If he doesn’t take care of himself, I’m scared he might have another heart attack. There aren’t a lot of options in this town. We have the clinic, but the medical technology hasn’t made its way here like it has other places. The nearest hospital is an hour away, and if he needs surgery, we’d have to go up to Dallas.”
I hated to hear how worried she was about something worse happening. Anger rose in me, and I took a slow breath to calm myself. If Dad had a serious enough heart attack, he might not make it long enough to get help. And once I was back in New York, I was powerless to help them.
“It’s so nice to have you here to talk to,” Mom said. “It’s just not the same on the phone.”
“Mom, come to New York. There are plenty of places outside the city for you to live, and that way, I could be around to help you. I could find a great doctor for him. One of the best in the country.”
Medical options were limited in North Reed, but in New York, he could get the most up-to-date care. Whatever he needed. My parents would be happy in the end. I’d be
more than happy to come over and help out if they were nearby, but flying out here every time something happened was not an option. I hadn’t even been able to come home when he had his heart attack. I’d been out of the country. I would have come back anyway, but Mom stressed that Dad was fine. I realized now it was just to keep me from worrying about him.
“You know it makes sense,” I said. “I can find you something amazing out there with less work for both of you than this house requires.” The acreage was great when I was growing up and learning about life, but now, the four acres seemed daunting to me.
My mother shook her head. “Your father won’t move. There’s too much to leave behind, Austin. We’ve been over this.” Mom sipped her coffee again. “I’ll figure this out, but we’re not leaving North Reed. I’ll just talk to your dad. He’ll come around.”
I sensed the conversation was over. I was only trying to help, but I couldn’t do anything living in New York. I also couldn’t move back. Having them move closer to me was the best solution. I looked down at my plate and nibbled on a piece of bacon. Mom was obviously worried about the situation. Why wouldn’t she listen?
“You know, I’m so busy these days that I don’t see anyone from town too often.” I looked at her in surprise. She always saw her friends. “I think that we should invite Rebecca over for dinner. Wouldn’t that be fun? We haven’t done anything like that since you left.”
I choked on my coffee at the suggestion.
“What?” I asked in disbelief.
She smiled and shrugged. “I heard you two had lunch together at Bunny’s. You’re not avoiding her, so why not? She’s a nice girl.” Mom looked out of the window. I didn’t want to sit in here with Rebecca and make conversation, not after the last one.
“Mom, that was lunch. I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She smiled innocently. “What are you trying to do?”