‘About me?’
‘Yes. You have your plans and your ambition, but my life is rather preordained by comparison.’ He made a gesture, encompassing their surroundings. ‘All of this will be my responsibility one day. I have a duty to my family, to generations past and future. I know it might all sound a bit old hat to some people these days, but I take the expectations placed upon me very seriously. And those expectations include having the right sort of wife. I can’t simply marry anyone I choose. It’s a tremendous burden really, but it’s simply the way things are. I tried to explain this to Sophie. Do you know what she said? She told me that she had read of Dukes and Earls who had married girls from the Gaiety Theatre. Can you imagine? I suppose it’s quite true actually. But it’s hardly the point.’
‘But surely if you love each other, none of it matters,’ William insisted.
‘Of course it matters,’ Christopher replied with the faint air of somebody explaining what ought to be perfectly apparent. ‘If I married Sophie, in all likelihood I would be disinherited. It isn’t the money, you understand, I would always have an allowance of some sort. It’s everything else. The tradition. Responsibility. It’s who I am, William. I suppose it’s not as obvious to somebody like yourself, but to me it’s an impossible thing to ask.’
‘As you say, I expect it isn’t obvious to somebody like me,’ William said with a faintly scathing tone, though if Christopher heard him he didn’t register it. Instead his attention was diverted when Elizabeth emerged from the garage bringing Sophie with her. Sophie looked awful. Her eyes were swollen from crying, and her whole posture sagged in despair.
‘I’m going to take Sophie home,’ Elizabeth said. ‘We’ve arranged that in the morning I’ll call for her, and then we’ll decide what we’re going to do. I’ll telephone you later, once I’ve seen that Sophie is alright.’
‘Yes, alright,’ Christopher agreed, clearly relieved that she was taking charge, and he gave her the keys to his car before kissing Sophie on her cheek. ‘I’m sorry, darling. I know I’ve been hopeless. Everything will be alright though, I promise.’
She seemed heartened by his assurance and allowed herself to be led away.
‘I think I need a drink,’ Christopher said and started towards the house. ‘Are you coming?’
But William didn’t feel like a drink. ‘I don’t think I will.’ Christopher hesitated, hearing the note of censure in William’s tone. William gestured to the plane. ‘I want to check something,’ he said, though it was obvious he was making an excuse.
They looked at one another, as if both of them saw something unexpected that they had somehow missed before. Then Christopher nodded and turned away.
‘Alright. I’ll see you later then.’
CHAPTER 18
Dinner that evening was a strained affair. It seemed to William that any attempt at conversation would be a pointless pretence and a denial of the subject uppermost in their minds, which Christopher was unwilling to broach. Christopher barely touched his food, but drank steadily instead, often staring for long periods into his glass, absorbed in his thoughts.
A few minutes after they were served a main course of beef, which neither of them had touched, Morton came into the room to tell Christopher that there was a telephone call from Miss Gordon.
‘Thank you, Morton.’ Christopher glanced at William as he got up, his expression managing to convey a whole raft of anxieties, and yet revealing nothing at all. He was gone for about ten minutes, and when he returned he said, ‘Liz is going to come over tomorrow.’
‘Is Sophie alright?’
‘Yes.’
After that nothing more was said, and a few minutes later William excused himself and went to his room, leaving Christopher to brood alone.
The following day Elizabeth arrived early in the afternoon. William was busy making last minute adjustments to the biplane that weren’t really necessary, but which gave him something to do. He hadn’t spoken to Christopher at all that day, though he’d seen him earlier, out walking alone with the look of somebody preoccupied with the weight of his troubles. At the sound of a car William went outside, and was in time to see Elizabeth going to the house. He almost called out to her, but in the end he thought it was better if he left them to it.
It was almost six o clock by the time he went inside. As he passed the open door to Sir James’s study, Elizabeth called out to him. Christopher sat at the desk with a glass of whisky in his hand. He looked dejected and tired.
‘I was going to come and find you in a minute,’ Elizabeth said. ‘Would you like a drink?’
‘Yes, alright, thanks.’
Elizabeth gave him a whisky and gestured to some legal looking documents on the desk. ‘We’ve been sorting out what to do about Sophie.’
‘How is she?’ William asked, putting aside the implication that Sophie was a problem to be dealt with, rather than their friend and Christopher’s lover.
‘We had a long talk yesterday. She calmed down in the end.’
Christopher got up and went to the window, where he gazed outside as if their conversation wasn’t his concern.
‘I’m going to go and see her again in the morning,’ Elizabeth went on. ‘To explain everything.’
There was a brief silence. William wondered what exactly needed to be explained, though he guessed it had to do with the documents on the desk. Elizabeth glanced towards Christopher as if seeking his support, but he had clearly decided to leave this to her.
‘We think the best thing would be for Sophie to go away somewhere to have her baby,’ she said finally. ‘I thought perhaps the south coast, though Sophie could choose somewhere herself, of course.’
‘So long as it’s far enough away, I suppose,’ William commented acidly.
‘Why do you say it like that?’
‘You want to get rid of her now that she’s become an embarrassment, isn’t that what you’re saying?’
‘That isn’t it at all!’ Elizabeth protested. ‘Surely it would be better for everyone, especially Sophie, if she goes far enough way that she can start a completely new life without having people spreading gossip. People here know that she and Christopher have been seeing each other. They’re bound to draw the obvious conclusion when it becomes known that she’s pregnant, and then it will follow them both around for ever. At least this way, Sophie can tell people that she’s a widow or something, and nobody will ever know it isn’t true. It won’t stop her from marrying in the future.’
William turned angrily to Christopher. ‘You said you were in love with Sophie! However you try to justify it, the fact is you simply want to bundle her off somewhere out of sight because suddenly she’s become inconvenient.’
‘That isn’t fair, William!’ Elizabeth said before Christopher could respond. ‘We’re simply trying to do what’s best.’
‘Best for who? Have you asked Sophie her opinion about any of this?’
‘For goodness sake, what else can he do?’
‘If he loves her, he could stand by her,’ William said.
‘You mean marry her? That simply isn’t realistic, William. Surely you can see that. And if Sophie stays here neither of them will be able to get on with their lives properly. It isn’t as if Sophie won’t be looked after financially. She’ll receive enough money to buy herself a modest house, and she’ll have an allowance so that she won’t ever have to work again, and her child will be provided for. I should have thought that all things considered, that isn’t such a terrible outcome.’
‘It’s their child,’ William pointed out, but Elizabeth regarded him blankly, missing his meaning. ‘You said Sophie’s child will be provided for, but it’s Christopher’s child too, or had you forgotten that?’
‘Of course I haven’t.’
But William saw that in a way Elizabeth had forgotten, or more accurately she had chosen to. In the same way she was choosing to ignore Sophie’s feelings, even insinuating that so long as Sophie was given enough money to allow h
er to live comfortably nothing else would matter to her. He suddenly understood that this was all Elizabeth’s idea. ‘Why are you doing this?’ he asked her.
‘What do you mean? I’m trying to help.’
‘Are you? It seems that you’re the one making all the decisions. Christopher hasn’t even said a word.’
She stared at him, and though she denied it, he saw in her eyes that he was right. ‘I resent what you’re implying. Christopher asked me to help as a friend and that’s what I’m doing.’
Christopher turned away from the window. ‘Liz is right, old man,’ he said, speaking at last. ‘She’s only doing this because I asked her to. She’s always been dependable. I know this is all terrible, but whether you believe it or not I care very deeply about Sophie. In a way that’s why it really would be better for her to move away somewhere. Apart from anything else, if she stays here I won’t be able to stop myself from seeing her. I know I won’t. And that’s not really fair on Sophie is it? That’s why I’ve decided to leave Northampton for a little while. Give her time to find somewhere to live.’
Christopher glanced at Elizabeth, and William realised from the look they exchanged that they hadn’t intended to tell him this yet.
‘I thought I might go and spend a bit of time in the South of France. There’s a motor race there I might enter, actually. It would give me something else to think of.’
‘You mean you’re going to turn your back on her?’ William said tightly. He could barely control his anger. It was clear that Elizabeth knew of Christopher’s plan. Perhaps she’d even suggested it herself. She looked away, avoiding him. Suddenly William felt that he didn’t know them at all, either of them. He could hardly believe they were capable of any of this, and yet they spoke as if he was the one being unreasonable. It was all about one’s position and appearance.
‘When will you leave?’ he asked coldly.
‘In a day or two. It’s probably for the best.’
‘What about the army trials?’
‘I know it’s a bit of a blow, but you’ll be able to find somebody from Sywell to go with you. You only need somebody to take the observer’s seat after all. It’s not as if I’d actually be doing anything.’
Though what he said was true, William still couldn’t comprehend that Christopher would simply abandon the trials after all their work. ‘Don’t you care what happens?’
‘Yes of course I do. But let’s face it, old man, it’s really your baby isn’t it?’ Christopher stopped, realising that he’d chosen an unfortunate turn of phrase. ‘What I mean is, you’ve always been the real force behind building this plane. I’m sure you’ll do well without me there. You can come down to France afterwards and tell us all about it.’
‘Us?’ Struck by the plural term William looked at Elizabeth.
‘Yes, I thought I’d go along too,’ she said with forced lightness. ‘It might be best if somebody keeps an eye on him at a time like this.’
In a moment of revelation, William saw the truth. All of his doubts and uncertainties regarding Elizabeth and her feelings for him crystallised into the sudden certainty that, in the end, her loyalty lay with Christopher. This wasn’t about the ingrained allegiances of position and background, but rather, for Elizabeth, it was an opportunity she couldn’t let pass.
‘Why are you looking at me that way?’ Elizabeth demanded, but before William had a chance to respond she turned her back on him in a show of exasperation. ‘I knew you would react like this. That’s why I didn’t want to say anything yet.’ She shot a reproachful look at Christopher, who drained his glass and apologised.
‘I didn’t mean to put my foot in it,’ he said. ‘I think I ought to leave you two alone.’ He left the room, avoiding William’s eye.
Eventually, Elizabeth turned to face him again. ‘You have to understand, Christopher shouldn’t be alone at the moment,’ she began. ‘He’ll only brood and drink too much and then he might do something impulsive.’
‘You mean he might realise what he’s done and come back to Sophie?’ William questioned, knowing he sounded angry and bitter.
‘I know you think that would be a good thing, but you’re wrong,’ she said.
‘And is that why you’re going with him? To stop him doing something ‘impulsive’?’
‘Don’t,’ Elizabeth said tightly.
‘Tell me you’re not in love with him, then.’
‘For goodness sake! You’ve never believed me, have you, William? You’ve always thought that, despite everything.’
‘If I’m wrong, tell me.’
‘I shouldn’t have to,’ she said.
‘Perhaps not, but I think if I am wrong, you would tell me.’
They stared at one another, both angry and neither prepared to yield. A heaviness fell over William, and with it the pain of intense disappointment. He would have done anything if Elizabeth had come to him and told him she loved him. He would even have forgiven her for what she and Christopher were doing to Sophie, but he knew from her expression that there was nothing more to say.
As he turned to leave, she spoke his name, but he heard the uncertainty in her tone, as if she wasn’t sure herself what she wanted to happen. He kept going without looking around.
*****
From the street, William saw lights in the windows of the flat. He rang and Sophie let him in. When he reached her door she was waiting. He expected her to look wan or dishevelled from despair, but he found that she was composed and quite normal, though there wasn’t a hint of friendliness in her expression.
‘I expect you’ve come to make sure I won’t make any trouble,’ she said scornfully.
‘I came to see if you’re alright.’
She made a derisive sound. ‘Who sent you?’
‘Nobody sent me. I’ve been wandering around for hours.’
Perhaps it was his tone that made her look more closely at him. ‘Have you been drinking?’
‘Yes, though I’m not drunk. It’s funny, I’ve had quite a lot, but it doesn’t seem to have affected me.’
His sardonic tone made her curious. ‘Why have you come here?’
‘I told you, I wanted to see if you’re alright.’
She remained suspicious of him, but stood aside. ‘You’d better come in then.’
He followed her into the living room and she offered him a drink. ‘Thanks. I might as well have a whisky if you’ve got it.’
She fetched him a glass and poured herself one too from a decanter on a drinks trolley, and then sat down opposite him and lit a cigarette. He wondered if it was good for her to drink and smoke in her condition, though he didn’t say anything.
She saw him looking at some documents on the table. ‘I suppose you know what those are.’
‘I think so. Who brought them?’
‘Who do you think?’ she said contemptuously. ‘Your precious Elizabeth. I’ll tell you the same as I told her. I won’t sign them!’
‘I didn’t have anything to do with it, Sophie,’ William said, realising she thought he’d come to pressure her. ‘I only found out what was going on this afternoon. I told them what I thought of it and walked out.’
She studied him as if she was trying to make up her mind whether to believe him or not. ‘She’d like me to disappear and never come back,’ she said bitterly.
He didn’t need to ask to know that she meant Elizabeth.
‘You know she’s in love with Christopher, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ he said heavily. ‘Have you always known?’
‘I knew it the first time I saw her.’
‘Is Christopher in love with her?’
‘No. That’s the stupid thing about all of this. Christopher loves me. I know he does. He wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t for her.’
‘I’m not defending her, Sophie, but Christopher isn’t being forced into anything.’
‘No, but she’s making it easy for him. If he had to come here and tell me himself, he wouldn’t do it. I know h
im.’ Sophie shook her head miserably. ‘We’re in the same boat you and me, aren’t we?’
‘I suppose we are.’
‘You don’t think it’s my own fault do you?’ she asked him. ‘That I meant to get pregnant?’
‘No, of course not.’
‘I was afraid Christopher would think I did. They haven’t said anything?’
‘Not to me.’
‘I’m glad you don’t think that. I thought you might.’
‘Why?’
‘I always thought you looked down on me a bit. Like you thought I was after Christopher because he’s rich.’
Though he didn’t admit it to her, William thought there was a part of him, a small part, that suspected Sophie of being an opportunist.
‘I always thought it was funny really,’ she mused.
‘In what way?’
‘Because we’re the same you and me, really. Do you remember that day at the airshow? I met somebody there I knew. She saw you talking to me and said she knew you when you worked at Ballantynes as a stock-boy.’
‘You never mentioned it,’ he said.
‘It wasn’t my business.’
William realised that Sophie had probably thought he was the opportunistic social climber and the irony made him smile.
‘What will you do about Elizabeth,’ she asked.
He shook his head. ‘Nothing. You can’t make somebody love you.’
‘I think she does love you,’ Sophie said, which surprised him.
‘You told me a moment ago that she’s in love with Christopher.’
‘People don’t always know what they want. And anyway, Christopher doesn’t love her. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. Perhaps you should fight for her.’
But William knew she was wrong, that Sophie only wanted him to get Elizabeth away from Christopher because she thought then, Christopher wouldn’t try to send her away.
‘I don’t agree with what they’re trying to do,’ he said. ‘I’ve told you that. But perhaps you should take their offer. Christopher will never marry you. The truth is… when he does marry it will be to somebody like Elizabeth. Perhaps it will be her, I don’t know. At least if you do what they want you’ll have a home and enough money to live on. You won’t have to work.’
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