She vanished behind the couch and reappeared with a smooth rock the size of her palm. “Rock.”
Ryan took it, brows crinkling. “That’s a rock.” And he gave it a shot. To his surprise, the smooth, fistful of igneous was hard enough to crush the grains into powder. By the time the rice finished cooking he’d made a tiny pyramid of rice flour out of the uncooked grains. Only problem now, was that he had no idea what to do with it.
Servings were made, steaming plates set on the coffee table. Emily not only didn’t touch hers, but wouldn’t, even after he’d blown on it and stirred the rice till it was only warm. It was treated as if the pile of rice were poison meant to kill her slowly.
“No rice,” she was emphatic. He swore she mumbled pizza under her breath but couldn’t be sure. He tried not to mention extinct foods. They made him too hungry.
Ryan ate the rice but it didn’t satisfy him. He was feeling weaker by the day, fatigued with monotony.
Emily sneezed, a wad of green traveling from her hands to the pastel cupcake embroidery of her dress.
“Ewww. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
The ponderings on reality didn’t end. Ryan refused to believe that no one existed merely because thought had ended, dust scattered in time. Lillian was still alive in his heart, bright and vibrant, and so long as he could keep her memory alive in there, Emily would know her, and thus also keep her alive.
Lillian’s personality, her influence, genes, would live on. He had photos of her, and now, access to videos of her speaking and acting and moving. He had their memories, and as Emily was growing older he saw more of Lillian in his her looks and actions. He refused to believe that Lillian was nothing short of immortal, just as his grandparents, and great great great grandparents were also immortal. Seeds of the future. Emily and he might be the last candlelight of humanity, but they were also an egg waiting to hatch. They were the culmination, a distillation, of all thought, of all lives. Without thousands of years of human existence and culture, they would not be who they were.
“Let’s go for a walk,” he told Emily and she hopped up, running to find her shoes. On the way out he checked the charger. Being overcast, the solar charger was taking longer than last time. He wasn’t going to rush it. He took a deep breath and led them off the porch, backpack on, Emily’s hand in one hand, a book on foraging in Missouri in the other.
He checked first the places he’d marked on his map over the last couple of days. There was a house just a few down that had wild mushrooms growing along the side. He knew that they didn’t stick around long and wanted to get the jump on this if they were indeed safe to eat.
Referring to his wife’s guide he found and identified five different varieties of mushrooms:
Giant Puffball, Calvatia gigantea, edible.
Fawn Mushroom, Pluteus atricapillu, eatable.
Green Spored-Lepiota, Chlorophyllum molybdites, poisonous.
Eastern Cauliflower Mushroom, Sparassis spathulata, eatable.
Deadly Galerina, Galerina marginata, very poisonous.
If he’d properly identified the eatable ones they would have quite the feast. His pack was nearly full, especially with Giant Puffball. It was said that these could grow to twenty-five pounds. His specimen was not nearly that large, but it was at least eight.
Over a fence he heard an animal sound like bahh bahh. They went to check, but found nothing other than foliage swaying in the breeze.
Mycological fare aside, they picked the flowies, something called chickweed, elderberry flowers, and of course, dandelions. In each case he was careful not to remove the roots as he harvested the flowers and grass, notating their location on his map for later harvesting. The backpack was starting to bulge. There was a bounty of sustenance in their backyards, he just hoped it tasted good. He also hoped he was reading the book correctly and wasn’t merely choosing a future suicide cocktail.
The skies began to drizzle and they headed back. Emily was upset her French braid was getting wet. After setting down his backpack, Ryan checked the charger. Twelve volts. A smile.
“Looks like we’re ready to go.”
Chapter 35
Emily clapped as the phone came to life. Ryan had cleaned the mushrooms and cut them up, putting them in a pot along with some of their other ingredients. They were going to be having a mushroom dandelion stew for dinner, and he could not have been more excited. While it cooked, they had entertainment, so to speak. Vidoes.
“Mama!” Emily shouted.
“That’s Mama. Now, shh. Let’s listen.”
They watched.
“It appears the model, the almighty freakin’ model, wasn’t quite accurate this time,” Lillian said, her greasy hair pulled back. Her eyes were puffy with bright tracts of red running throughout. “I bet if it was running on your system, not this stupid Singularity crap Peter’s sister came up with, we’d have been more accurate. Peter and his nepotistic actions, just because his sister has a toy... Anyways, I sure hope you get the chance to finish yours one day.” She shook her head. “I’ve been watching you guys through a small camera inside the tube. Nothing changes, of course, that’s sort of the point, but I can see you’re both still there and that you’re both still alive. That’s a comfort, ya know? I mean, chances are, according to the model, I’ll be long…”
Lillian set down the phone and rubbed her eyes. “I’m sorry things got where they did with us. We have definitely hit a rough patch on the marriage highway. When I took the job at UBL, I wasn’t expecting to be working on what I ended up working on. Or this much. I thought it would be counting diffs and analyzing samples for biochemical effects. Like EPA work, maybe. However, Project Sunshine, it’s not a solution, just a clock. Anyways, I just want you to know, I had my reasons for vanishing all those times, I promise. They may have been shitty reasons in hindsight, but they were not to go bump uglies with Peter le Douche. That man was so self-centered I bet he didn’t ever actually have sex with anyone but himself because they’d be doing it wrong no matter what. I can’t even imagine a session with him. ‘Turn this way? No, turn that way? What were you thinking when you made that choice? You sure that blowjob was the smartest decision?’ Ugh, that said...”
She took a deep breath and her face hardened. “I am aware of Karen, our neighbor. I don’t know what’s happened between you, but I am aware of it, however weird it might be. Though it does pain me, and makes me mad enough I could punch a wall in half just thinking about it, I understand, or maybe I should say, I comprehend on some level. Moreover, before you start blaming people, no, Lawrence did not tell me a thing. He’s a straight bro, lips sealed. No snitchin’. I know I’ve not communicated very well with you lately, but neither have you with me. There’s been a wall between us. I don’t want to—” She swallowed. “—I don’t want to die nursing a grudge over our short fallings. Just tell me, please, you didn’t sleep with her. I know she’s adorable and sweet, and surely lonely since her husband died, and the perfect middle school boy’s fantasy which far surpasses a microbiologist working in a lab under a hood with safety glasses and a white coat, but… Please, please tell me.”
She waited. Ryan’s eyes were wide, hands poised to cover Emily’s ears.
Her voice became raspy. “What in the heck am I doing? You can’t tell me a thing. The CSU is a one-way time machine. I’m just going to assume you didn’t sleep with her, and that if you did, you would break the news to me easy, or we could just move to another state where that little cunt Mrs. Mannford doesn’t exist, and start over. Fucking fence bitch having wine with my husband while I’m at work, knowing that the world will end. Think you’re going to take the place of Emily’s mama? Better back it up, bitch! Okay. Okay. Okay. Enough of that. Enough. I can’t do this to you or our Sunshine.
“How’s Emily? She doing well? I’m sure she is, that beautiful little monster. I eh—” The video ended. Ryan swallowed.
He started the next video without hardly a beat between.
“Sorry
, not sorry, for that last little outburst,” Lillian said, chuckling nervously under her words. “I’ve had a few minutes to collect myself and put things in perspective. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad. No I’m not. Yes I am. No. Yes. Maybe? Fuck. Strike that, I hope Emily wasn’t listening. I don’t want to start her on bad habits. Look, I don’t know how I’m still alive. According to the data, we should all be dead by now. It’s hard having that sort of weight on your shoulders. I have to stay focused on what is right for now. Keeping things right.”
Lillian forced a grin. “Put Emily on. Let me pretend to see her. Let her see me. How old is she now, I wonder? Hey, baby. I’m your Mommy, and, the reason I’m not there is so you and Daddy could live. My God, that sounds conceited. Look at me! I’m such a great person for making the ultimate sacrifice! You should worship me, the martyr of humanity!”
She rubbed her temples and sighed. “I miss you two something terrible, and it’s not even been two days. I guess I’m just thinking ahead, thinking what it would be like far, far, far in the future. The world is going on as if nothing cataclysmic is about to happen. We’re trying to find a way around it, but like I keep telling Steve, causation does not equal correlation. Just because we have signs that certain other events are related to this, it doesn’t mean they’re the cause. How could any of them be? They don’t make any sense. Nevertheless, I think we’re getting closer. Another few weeks, Lord willing, and we might have a workable idea on how to protect people. We just have to figure out the absolute cause.”
She shifted gears. “How about this? Emily, if I fail in my mission, you must take my place.”
Ryan chuckled and brushed the moisture from his eyes. Lillian was about to go on a bullshit rant from hell. He loved them.
Her voice became ominous and booming, “That’s right, Emily, sun of my life! You must become the biologist I could never hope to be. My daughter, it is in your blood! From the time you were born I knew that your destiny was written in the stars. As the Little Dipper dipped, and Orion hurled his arrow, I knew you could save the world from a danger so great, even the brightest minds of my generation could only lay forth a path. Follow it, my child, follow your destiny! Take up the mantle of your mother, and upon my death be gifted (like in Dune), of all my experiences. For my love pours out to you from across the ages, and whatever age you have arrived in shall be yours to master.” She paused. “Too bad we don’t have a Tardis.”
Emily pointed at the phone and said, “Mama!”
Ryan clapped. “The one and only.”
“Alright, kiddos,” Lillian resigned. “I guess I better go for now. Hopefully I’ll be back soon. I love you! Mwah, mwah!”
The video ended.
Click.
Lillian spoke immediately, without rest, words breathless. Her pupils were dilated to the size of dinner plates, and black as the void. “Remember that trip to the mountains the three of us took? Was it Johnson Shut-ins State Park? That seems right. Yeah. Such a weird name for a place. Anyways, you know, the one when Emily was only about ten months old and yet the two of us were hell-bent that we could tent camp in fall with an infant? Great idea, huh? She was chilly half the time—I was afraid she was going to freeze to death so I always had you keeping up the campfire. I believe she got diarrhea on the second day and shat all over our sleeping bag—not the one you keep in the closet, mind you, the other one. The low-temp rated one. Not even Fruit Stripe was enough to keep my teeth from chattering.
“If I hadn’t still been breast feeding, it would have been a pain when those two water containers turned out to have leaks. You remember. Left us with a gallon, which meant we couldn’t cook. We ended up living on Cliff Bars since you were too lazy to boil us fresh water. Then those kids!” She rolled her eyes. “And by kids I mean those pursuing academics post-high school like we once did, were up there half drunk and wanting to go cliff diving. Emily wouldn’t sleep for all their yelling and fucking—the humping variety. The park rangers came and ran them off. And then, then! One of them set a fire outside their fire pit, and they used pine straw as tinder so it was all smoky. I said to you, you sure this was a great idea for a family vacation? Next time, let’s go to Branson—even though it’s made for old people and Hoosiers. And you laughed, and I laughed, and Emily stared at us both and said she was the devil, and we laughed at that but then I realized I was dreaming and we’d never gone on that trip to begin with! I woke up, punched you in the arm and said you were an irresponsible parent, as bad as Michael Jackson in that window incident, for ever suggesting such a stupid-ass idea.”
Ryan didn’t recall any of this. He tried but was drawing blanks.
“But I bet you don’t remember this do you? Nope! This was from before the time that you quit your job. Yup. Back when you were happy-go-lucky! World by the balls. Before the start of your resentment over me doing what I love doing.” She leaned in, pursed her lips. “Do you really hate me for going back to work? Because you sure made it seem that way after you came home. I thought we both decided it was the smart move. And you’ve been an awesome stay-at-home dad. Shit, why am I bringing things like this up? No good reason. The past is the past. Do you remember how we met? Do you remember what it was like to be young and in love? Why couldn’t we have that forever, but with Emily, too? Are those states of happiness mutually exclusive? Do you think we could have worked it out? I’d like to hope we would’ve. I’m pretty sure we could’ve.”
She let out a long breath and banged her head against the table, each impact resonating hollow steel. “Okay, I need some real sleep. Thirty-six hours of staying awake on Steven’s Adderall isn’t doing anyone any good. Remember what it was back in school? Hydroxycut and ephedrine, OTC. Ugh, I’m just afraid to fall asleep and not wake up again. Afraid I won’t get one last chance to see your living faces, even if they aren’t moving.
“Look, I’m scared, Ryan, really fucking scared. Terrified! I’ve almost opened this tube so many times just so you could comfort me. Just so I could hold you both again, even if we all died together.” Lillian started sobbing.
The video ended.
“Where’s Mama?” Emily asked, reaching for the phone.
Ryan sat stunned. The earthy smell of the stew wafted through the room.
Matters were starting to become clear. Lillian was telling the truth. She hadn’t been sleeping with Peter, but rather, researching something incredibly dangerous. He let these images of her fix in his mind, burning deep into his heart.
“I think, therefore I am,” he mumbled, and felt his arms ache for her embrace. He looked around the living room at all the things she had placed there. The old microscope from her grandfather and first edition science books on a shelf. The framed French posters circa 1905 they’d gotten on their honeymoon in Paris. Their matching family photos and collection of authentic Japanese Netsuke, a once utilitarian piece of fashion no bigger than a baseball, sitting beside a tiny ritual shrine. Lillian had even taken her Hello Kitty obsession to greater heights, having a man in Kyoto carve her a Hello Kitty Netsuke out of cherry wood, while they were on vacation. Ryan wasn’t sure if the man had been offended for such a commission, or if he had just been ornery over them being American. Either way, he hadn’t seemed pleased. As with all the other memorabilia Lillian had collected along the way, this Hello Kitty didn’t have a mouth either. That was because it spoke from the heart, even now.
“One more video,” he said, steeling himself since he knew it was the last. He squeezed Emily tight, put a kiss on her forehead, and pressed play. She was here to get him through this. If not for Emily, the demon pistol would have found its way into his mouth by now.
“I think it’s time I tell you some of what’s been going on,” Lillian began, this time seeming well-rested and sober, if not bathed. “What’s been happening, has been happening for a very long time. We have been observing trends over the past fifty years, all the signs working towards this point. In my lab, and Peter’s office, there are stacks of notes c
ondensing the data down to one conclusion. Everyone on Earth is going to die, and quickly. Hopefully, in a painless fashion. If all goes ill, as we predict, and you need to know more, go through our notes. It’s too much to cover here. Not that those notes can change much now. The one bit of exciting news, about all that’s keeping me from taking an entire bottle of Lortab-10 in one sitting, came this morning. Steve made a discovery in the model that might just change what we know about the theorized extinction event, including the choices I’ve made. I want to talk about it more in detail, but not until we have all the data. I don’t want you getting too excited over nothing. I know, I know, the realist in me. If what we’re thinking is indeed the case, it will change everything. Even a small chance is worth a little hope.”
She picked up her UBL coffee mug and frowned into it. From the angle it was clear to see she was wearing a Paper, Rock, Scissors, Lizard, Spock t-shirt. “Well, shit. I’m outta coffee. How do ya like that? Be back in a tick, love!”
The final video faded to black.
Ryan and Emily ate their dinner in cold silence. It tasted good, but lacked soul. His sour mood had sullied the broth. After Ryan tucked Emily into the bed of the fancy room, he went for one of the bottles he’d procured from a neighboring house. Whiskey. Old.
From the back porch, there was nothing but the Aurora to see by, a bottle hanging over the arm of his chair. The sting of sour mash hit his throat. He swallowed gulp after gulp until his body went numb. He fell from his deck chair, cheek crashing on the wooden floor with a crunch.
He felt no pain as his eyes closed shut. This was easier.
Chapter 36
“Excuse me, do you have any gum?” a cute girl with a Hello Kitty backpack asked.
“Sure, it’ll lose its flavor in like two seconds, though.”
“Really? Oh! Wait! Fruit Stripe? I love Fruit Stripe! Can I have a piece?”
The Two That Remained Page 21