by Mia Ashlinn
The man wouldn’t be likely to show how he truly felt about Caedon’s past love life in front of these men. Although, when he got Caedon alone, he’d probably rip into him for it. Micah tended to be possessive of Caedon. Even though he didn’t seem to realize it, his friend had never approved of his past. When they’d been living with Ella, they’d fought about it more than once.
Micah had claimed it was because he worried about Ella’s feelings. But sometimes, Caedon had wondered if it wasn’t more than that. Especially since Ella didn’t seem to mind that he’d had a steady stream of lovers in his past. She’d said it didn’t matter whether or not he’d had one lover or one hundred lovers before her—as long as he kept his dick and hands to himself and her now that they were together.
Caedon found it slightly humorous but mostly ironic that his woman hadn’t generally gotten very jealous. She had said it was a wasted emotion. In fact, the first time he recalled her showing any sort of jealousy was the night they’d broken up. That evening, she’d shown a side of herself that he hadn’t seen before. And he’d experienced a dark side of himself he hadn’t known even existed.
* * * *
Two years ago, June 3rd…
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The lyrics to “Kiss From a Rose” by Seal belted out of the speaker on Caedon’s cell phone, and he glared at the telephone receiver in his hand. He’d known this call was coming. He’d dreaded it. But now here it was, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
If he were a coward, he would get up from the bed in his room and walk out the front door. However, he wouldn’t stop there. No, he’d keep going until he left the bed and breakfast the production company had rented out for the actors and crew. Hell, he wouldn’t stop until he found a place where no one knew who or what he was, a place where there was no phone, television, magazine, or internet service. But unfortunately, I’m no coward, and running isn’t the answer.
With a sigh, Caedon used his long legs to slide to the top of the bed where he reclined against the mahogany headboard then answered his phone. “Hello,” he murmured.
“You damn hypocrite.”
Yeah. Just what I expected.
“Gabriella,” Caedon said. He could hear the resignation and the pain in his own voice. But he didn’t feel like masking it. He was too exhausted, and he figured it wasn’t worth it anyway. “It isn’t what you think.”
“I’m sure it isn’t,” Gabriella retorted in evident disbelief. “You bitched at me over Micah. You accused me of cheating on you with my best fucking friend. Yet you were out last night, having the time of your life with some pretty actress who needs to eat a damn cheeseburger.” She paused, and he heard her sniffle before she continued on. “Do you know what I was doing, Caedon? I was at home— alone. You were out carousing and getting drunk. Meanwhile, I sat here by myself like a pathetic loser, stuffing my face with junk food while I cursed you in one breath then practiced my apology in the other.”
She snorted, but he could tell it was halfhearted at best, and the hurt in her voice overrode what he suspected was supposed to be Three Rings and a Rose
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contempt. “Hell, Caedon, you may or may not have been screwing Adeline fucking Raines while I lay in my bed, wishing you were with me. I wanted to hold you and talk to you and work things out. But I can’t do that by my-fucking-self.”
She was right. He’d been irrationally jealous after receiving a handful of photographs of her and Micah in an intimate clench. When he’d called her in a fit of possessive rage, he’d said a lot of things he hadn’t meant. But that didn’t change the fact that she’d hurt and angered him, too. She’d turned to Micah for comfort before he’d turned to Addy for friendship. She’d let Micah hold her. She’d allowed him to be the man who helped her deal with the scandal. Not Caedon, never Caedon. It was always Micah she needed when the chips were down, and it killed Caedon. He wanted to be the one she turned to. Just once, he wanted her to need him more than anyone else.
“You wouldn’t have to do it by your-fucking-self,” he snarled.
“You have Micah for that. Don’t you?”
“Yeah, I have Micah, and you have Addy. Except I didn’t get caught slipping out of Micah’s room this morning, like your precious friend.”
Yet again, she was correct. Addy had technically spent the night with him. After he’d rowed viciously with Gabriella over her relationship with Micah, he’d done what he did best. He’d partied with Addy and gotten shit-faced drunk. But unfortunately, this time he’d imbibed enough liquor to make a complete ass in a local pub.
When he’d gotten kicked out, Ted and Addy had gotten his lame ass back to the inn they were staying at. Then they’d hauled him to his room. Only things hadn’t ended there for him and Addy. Ted had suggested that Addy stay with Caedon for a little while to talk—just talk. And she had. They’d spent hours together after Ted had left.
He’d mooned over Gabriella and his mistakes while Addy had listened. She’d supported him. She’d consoled him. The woman had done everything she could to help him.
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Then morning came, and Addy had to sneak out the door.
However, she didn’t make it halfway out of the room before the flash of a bulb blinded her. Caedon had jerked her back into the room, but it was too late. The damage had been done. By midday, the whole world had seen some story or another talking about his drunken night with the leading lady in his newest flick.
He sighed wearily. “I swear to you, Gabriella. I didn’t cheat. I wouldn’t do that. Surely, you know me better than that.” She choked up. But then, she took a shuddering breath and seemed to cool off before she spoke again. “I don’t know you, Caedon. I thought I did, but now I just don’t know. First, you’re an ass over a tape of a stupid party from when I was in college. Then you are an all-knowing, jealous prick because you saw a picture of Micah holding me. Now you have a new woman who is helping you out of a bar and into your room then not coming out until the next morning.
So, no, I don’t believe I know who the fuck you are.” She paused and sucked in a breath before continuing her rant. “Not to mention the fact that I’m the jilted lover in the press. They’ve already been eating me alive over my stupid party tape for forty-eight hours. Then today I wake up, and they are having a fucking ball with the story of how you dumped the trashy, plus-size model for Miss Fucking Perfect.”
“This bullshit will die down, and we’ll work everything out.” He said the words, but he wasn’t sure he believed them.
Gabriella scoffed. “Stop simplifying this shit. Whether you had sex or not, you were with her all night. You were partying with her or talking to her or whatever. You were mad at me, but instead of working it out, you moved on to the next better thing. You traded up from me awfully fucking fast, and you appeared to be having a hell of a lot of fun doing it.”
“Well, Gabriella. Looks can be deceiving.” She barked a short, sarcastic laugh. “Yes, they can, but not that much. I saw the way she looked at you and the way you smiled at her.
Even if it wasn’t anything serious, that doesn’t make me feel better.
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You made me feel like I’d been replaced. I felt interchangeable, like I was just another woman in a long line for you.” Surely, she didn’t believe that. There was not another woman for him. She was it. He wanted the ring, the babies, and the grandbabies.
She made him want it all. But he couldn’t say that to her—not yet. It was too soon. They’d only been together for six months, and he didn’t want to scare her off. Besides, he didn’t know where he stood with her. If he went on past precedent, he would be the one left standing alone in the end.
So rather than attempting to repair the rift between them, he opened the floodgates and let both his pride and jealousy flood him.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. You’re the first woman I’ve
cared enough about to commit to. I’m not going to just replace you like an old pair of socks.”
“You’re not? Really? ”
“No, I’m not,” he replied. “But I don’t know if I can say the same for you and Micah. I think you would dump my ass in a heartbeat if Micah asked you to.”
She growled. “We are not going there again today. He’s my friend. You’re my lover. This jealousy is petty and pointless. Get the fuck over it.”
“So says the girl who’s pissed that I spent the evening with a friend.”
Ella ignored his smart-ass comment, and he smirked arrogantly, slightly enjoying the fact that she was jealous. He’d gotten pretty damn tired of being alone in his possessive misery.
“Caedon, you didn’t replace me. This time. Next time, I probably won’t be so lucky. It was just too damn easy for you to forget me.” You have no idea how hard it was, sunshine. No clue. It was a kind of hell he didn’t want to go through again. However, he knew he had a one-way ticket there. Lucifer was calling his name, and he couldn’t stop him. Only Gabriella could, and he had a feeling that she didn’t want to.
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Still holding the phone to his ear, Caedon ran his other hand across his face. He scrubbed his skin with the palm of his hand, and cursed silently. “Nothing about this is easy, Gabriella.” She sighed. “I know, Caedon.”
Okay. This is getting old. We’re not getting anywhere. “We’re just going around in circles. We need to be calm and take a step back,” he told Gabriella as he banged the back of his head against the unyielding headboard gently. He groaned when he hit the wood too hard and pain scattered through his skull.
“That’s what you’ve said the last two times we talked. Maybe I don’t want to be calm and think things through. Maybe I want to fight and curse and scream. Maybe I want you to hurt as much as I’m hurting. If that makes me an evil little troll, then it makes me an evil little troll.”
Not wanting to make things worse, Caedon went silent. He forced air in through his nose then out through his mouth as he attempted to push down the fury boiling inside of him. But it didn’t help. He’d already reached his breaking point. Fuck that, he’d stepped over the angry threshold and was teetering on wrathful.
“I don’t think this relationship is working, Caedon. It’s not worth all of this.” Clearing her throat, Gabriella said, “In the past three days, you have shown me a side of you that I don’t know, a side that I don’t like. And frankly, that part of you is bringing out a part of me that I didn’t know, and I don’t like. This shit is bad for both of us. It’s not healthy.”
Ella’s words hit him hard. They seeped into his pores, crawling beneath his skin, and then settled in his chest. Each word sucked the life out of his heart and, for a split second, he lost his breath and couldn’t seem to get it back. He concentrated carefully, dragging in one breath after another. Only, it was a waste of his time and energy.
Breathing calmly didn’t help.
With each inhale and exhale, his temper rose—and rose—until his control snapped. “You’re right,” he snarled. “You’re not worth it. I’m Three Rings and a Rose
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not worth it. And our fucking relationship is certainly not worth it.
This is just too damn much work.”
She gasped, the hitch in her breath so profound that he cringed.
“I–I–I don’t know what to say.”
“Why not? I’m agreeing with you. I’m merely saying what you want me to say.” Sliding to the edge of the bed, he lurched to his feet and started pacing back and forth. “Hell, I’m making this easy for you. It’s over. You can have Micah. Maybe he’ll keep you warm at night. And I can have Addy. We all get what we fucking want.
Right?”
“I can’t believe this. I thought you would fight a little harder for us. I figured I meant more than—”
Cutting her off with a disgusted growl, he put the final nails in the coffin of their relationship. “Well, you thought wrong. Good-bye, Gabriella.”
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Chapter 11
Present day…
“Do you think we haven’t shared women before our wives?” The question from the seemingly quietest man, Landon, garnered Caedon’s attention and jerked him out of the memory of the single worst night of his life. He allowed his mind to return to the dim alleyway where he stood with Micah and seven other men. The June heat rose around him, and a bead of sweat formed on the side of his forehead before trickling down his temple.
In all honesty, Caedon wasn’t sure if the Kansas summer night had truly provoked the droplet of moisture or if it came from the painful memories that had bombarded him only seconds before.
Unable to dwell on such a trivial matter, he looked over at Landon who gently smiled at him.
“Of course we shared women,” Landon answered himself. “Some we truly cared for while others were passing flings. But our hearts always belonged to the women we married. Don’t judge yourself so harshly. We all have regrets.”
Caedon’s jaw dropped. Landon had pegged him perfectly, as though they’d known each other all their lives, and his words comforted him. Relief rushed through him, and he released a deep breath he’d been holding. For the first time in his recollection, he deeply cared what someone other than Ella, Micah, and Addy thought of him—the real Caedon Matthew Asher. Not the famous actor or the sex symbol. Not the cocky Casanova people mistakenly saw him as or Three Rings and a Rose
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the man with an ungodly amount of money in his bank account. This was Caedon—the human being.
“Thank you,” Caedon murmured, feeling embarrassed by the warmth he felt from the friendship these seven men offered freely to him. He coughed nervously in an overt attempt to divert their attention from him. Sucking in a heavy breath, he smiled with a conceit he only partially felt.
Next to Caedon, Cade chuckled. “Now let’s not get too girlie. We have badass reputations to uphold.”
Randy shoved Cade’s shoulder playfully. “My reputation wasn’t in question, Cade,” he retorted with a cocky grin. “Maybe yours or the rest of these jackasses were but not me. I have my bad-boy rep down pat.”
The oldest triplet, Jared, shot his hand around his middle brother and smacked Randy on the back of his head. “Shut up, Randy. We’re getting off track, and we only have another ten minutes left,” he reminded them.
Fuck. They needed to get on with this conversation. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who thought so. Gray frowned. “Since you two haven’t really shared a woman with each other or anyone else, there are some important things you need to know beforehand.” Caedon nodded when Gray paused. At the same time, Micah muttered sarcastically, “Like how the hell to get over the jealousy between us.”
Caedon considered smacking Micah upside his head. But he didn’t. He grumbled, “Just listen to them,” instead.
Of course, Micah didn’t like his sullen response. He glowered at Caedon, who chose to ignore him. He didn’t feel the urge to fan the flames with Micah—at least, not those kinds of flames. Now other ones…maybe.
“Shit,” Caedon cursed. All of the men peered at him but didn’t say a word. Predictably, the two funny men in the group smirked, 114
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evidently amused by his outburst. Yet they followed the other men’s lead and disregarded Caedon’s words.
Going on as though nothing had happened, Shane turned to face Micah and informed him pointedly, “There is no room for jealousy.
She loves you. She loves Caedon. You know that. So why would you be jealous of Caedon being with Ella?”
Micah paled, his handsome face turning a shade of white that unnerved Caedon. However, he held back, giving his friend a chance to respond. “I don’t know,” he said. His vulnerable honesty shocked Caedon. He’d expected Micah to spout off a million reasons why he was jealous. But never once did he consider the fact that
Micah didn’t know. Interesting.
The only triplet who hadn’t spoken, Drew, seemed frustrated with Micah’s answer. He ran a hand through his dirty-blond hair and said,
“You need to figure it out.”
“Yeah,” Randy piped up. “You need to use your heart, not your mind, to figure out why you’re jealous.” His face colored. “Fuck me. I sound like my wife talking about her emotions.” He shuddered. “That is pretty goddamn scary.”
“I’m fucking terrified for you,” Cade joked.
Randy flipped off his brother-in-law. “Fuck you.”
“Cade. Randy,” Gray barked. “Shut up. Now.” And the two men did—immediately–without question or comment. When they quieted down and no one else spoke, Gray resumed their conversation. “We are to assume that the two of you have either slept together already or are going to soon? Correct?”
“No,” Caedon and Micah replied quickly and simultaneously.
Their mutual agreement sounded off, though. Caedon’s tone had a note of regret, a touch of wistfulness, and an oddly hopeful twist to it—all at the same time. However, Caedon heard a disappointment and sadness in Micah’s voice. He didn’t sound like a man who wasn’t interested in a relationship with Caedon. For just a second, Caedon felt as though he wasn’t alone, as though Micah was suffering through Three Rings and a Rose
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the same thing that he was. Or I could be hearing things that aren’t fucking there.
Jerking his head to the side, Caedon checked out Micah, trying to find a hint of what he’d heard in his voice. But he came up with nothing. His friend’s face had closed up, the prickly man returning full-force. “We are not going to be involved sexually,” he stated clearly with a brutal honesty that wounded Caedon to the core.
From the way his friend spoke, he wasn’t going to go down the sexual route with Caedon. Even if he had feelings for Caedon—which Caedon was not convinced of, one way or the other—he didn’t plan to act on them. No matter what Caedon did or how he felt, he had a feeling Micah wouldn’t let him in. He wouldn’t allow him to utter the loving words he wanted. He’d never grant him the chance to touch Micah, to kiss him or hug him or fuck him. There would be nothing but friendship.