by LK Shaw
I could tell she weighed her decision as though it was of the utmost importance. “I’d like to try a glass of the prosecco, please.”
Joseph bowed, and then directed his attention to me. “I’ll just take a Corona with lime.”
“Very good, sir. I’ll bring out water in just a few moments.”
“Thank you.”
Joseph turned and soon, we were alone again.
“How are you doing?” I asked, wanting to make sure she truly was all right.
“I’m doing okay. Focusing on keeping my breathing even. It helps that there’s no one here but us. I only mildly panicked when Joseph showed up. But, really, I’m doing much better than I expected. I’m truly trying to keep my anxiety under control. I almost took my medication, but I wanted to see if I could make it without it. Now, with the wine, I’m glad I didn’t take it. It’s actually so peaceful up here. Thank you for bringing me.”
Needing to feel her skin against mine, I reached across the table for her hand. “You’re so welcome.”
We chatted for a few minutes before Joseph returned with water and to take our order. Before long, we were diving into our meal. I ordered a prime rib with au jus and a baked potato, and Casey ordered salmon with rice. As we ate our meal, I kept playing out how this night should progress. I knew where my body wanted it to lead, but this was Casey. She wasn’t a woman to wine and dine and then take home for the night. I wanted everything about tonight to be special. A night she would remember.
Before long, Casey finished her wine, and set her fork across her plate. She let out a long, satisfied sigh.
“That was absolutely delicious. And I think I’m in love with prosecco.” She hiccupped a little with an embarrassed giggle. “Excuse me.”
“No more wine for you, lightweight,” I ribbed her.
She stuck her tongue out at me. In response, I rose from my chair and stood next to her, arm outstretched.
“Let’s dance.”
“What? Like here? Now?” She looked around the patio.
“Yes, here. Yes, now. Come on.” I continued to wait.
Finally, Casey placed her warm hand in mine, and I pulled her to her feet. I adjusted my grasp on her hand, placing it on my chest, and then I wrapped my free arm around her back, pulling her close. We swayed back and forth to the music coming from the speakers. She was rigid and uncomfortable at first, but the longer we remained dancing, the more relaxed Casey became, until soon, she rested her cheek against my chest.
I inhaled her scent, and for a moment I cursed myself for agreeing to this. I predicted a broken heart in my future. But, I would do anything to see this woman in my arms happy. Even if it was to send her into the arms of another man eventually. Just seeing her this relaxed and seemingly happy was completely and utterly worth it. Over the top of Casey’s head, I saw Joseph pause when he saw us, but I nodded an okay. Not once did Casey pay attention or even notice his presence as he quietly cleared off the table. He hastily left once he was done, leaving us in our own private oasis up here.
It could have been minutes, or it could have been hours that passed. I just knew I didn’t want to let Casey out of my arms. Soon, though, I knew it was time to go. Technically, the restaurant had been closed for over an hour, and I didn’t want to put out the employees any more than we already had.
Reluctantly, I broke our embrace, but still kept holding Casey’s hand.
“We should probably get going.” I murmured.
Almost drowsily, Casey looked around, as if she’d forgotten where we were. “Oh, wow, I didn’t realize it was getting so late.”
We walked back through the restaurant and down the stairs. Just then, my friend Thomas exited the kitchen and waved at us.
Before I even had the opportunity, in a move that had me surprised, but extremely proud, Casey, cleared her throat and spoke up. “Are you the person who let us use your upstairs?”
“Yes, ma’am. Thomas Adkins. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Casey, right?” He reached out to shake hands.
I watched as Casey nervously, and not so inconspicuously, wiped her palm on her dress before slowly reaching out to clasp hands with him, then quickly breaking contact.
“Thank you so much for this. You have an amazing restaurant, and the food was delicious. This was one of the best nights of my life. Well, um, I just wanted to say thanks.”
“You’re absolutely welcome. You and Philip are honored guests, and we’d love for you to return anytime.”
I shook Thomas’ hand before leading Casey out to my truck.
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” My glance darted to her as I drove us back to her house.
She turned to look at me, her eyes shining brightly, even in the darkness, with unshed tears. “It was the most amazing night ever. I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am for what you gave me tonight, Philip. I’ll remember this night for the rest of my life.”
“The night’s not over yet.” I winced, because my words came out far more suggestively than I’d meant.
Thankfully, Casey’s naivety worked to my advantage because she didn’t seem to notice. We continued the ride in silence until finally we were home.
9
CASEY
Tonight had been the most amazing night of my life. From the flowers, to the scrumptious meal, to being held in Philip’s arms for a moonlight dance under the stars. It had been absolutely breathtaking. I’d even managed to push back my anxiety and shake hands with a stranger. A male stranger even. And, honestly, it wasn’t as horrifying as I thought it would be. Not that I wanted to linger with the touching thing, but I’d done it, and I was damn proud of myself.
As the music played on the radio, I was lulled into relaxation from the wine I’d had, and the whole drive home, I was stifling yawns behind my fist. I might have even dozed off for a minute, because suddenly we were pulling into the driveway. Philip helped me out of the truck, and we walked hand in hand into the house.
“Thank you ag—”
My words were cut off by Philip’s kiss. The feel of his hand behind my neck sent shivers racing through me, and gooseflesh pebbled on my arm. My lips parted on a gasp as he wrapped his other arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him, and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue inside. Instinctively, my arms circled his broad, muscular shoulders, and I raised up on tiptoe to get even closer to his warm, strong body. I clutched his head in my hands and marveled at the softness of his hair. It was oddly erotic as I dug my fingers into his scalp, enjoying the feel and taste of him.
I grew bolder, and my tongue danced with his. My breasts felt heavy, and my core pulsed with need. I shifted closer and pressed my breasts against his chest, trying to ease the ache. I almost purred, it felt so good.
“Will you…will you touch me?” I whispered against his lips, my voice hesitant and breathy. “I want to feel your hands on me, Philip.”
His grip tightened just slightly on my waist before he relaxed. But there was a new tension in him. I held my breath as I waited for his response to my bold question. I felt in control, something sadly lacking in my life. There was power in being the one who said yes. I was allowing what happened to me. No one was making me do anything I didn’t want to. It was liberating to make my needs known. I’d never been given this chance before.
“Let’s go sit on the couch, maybe get a little more comfortable.” Philip’s voice was gruff and rumbled through me like a freight train.
As we settled on the sofa, I scooted as close to him as possible, until I was practically in his lap. My breath caught as Philip leaned forward and began plucking the pins from my hair, until he’d tossed them all on the coffee table. I let out a soft sigh as he threaded his rough, calloused fingers through my hair until it cascaded down, billowing around my shoulders and settling over my breasts.
“Your hair is like silk,” Philip said softly as he ran his fingers through my hair again, just stopping before he reached my breasts. “I can imagine it spr
ead—”
He shut off the flow of words. My brain tried to puzzle out what he had meant to say, but when his finger ghosted across my neck, all thoughts flew out of my head. My nipples hardened, and I shuddered at his touch. I watched his eyes track the path his finger was taking as it brushed across my collarbones. I wondered if he could see how much his touch affected me.
“Are you going to touch me now?” My words were anxiously excited, but I couldn’t help it. I was desperate for his touch.
Philip’s lip quirked in a half-smile as his gaze met mine. His finger never stopped traversing across the top of my chest, moving neither higher nor lower. “I am touching you.”
My lower lip dropped into a pout. He was being deliberately obtuse. “Not there.”
“Oh,” he said with mock innocence. “This isn’t where you wanted me to touch you?”
My hair danced around my face as I shook my head. “You know it isn’t.”
In response, his finger navigated a path across my shoulder and down my arm, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Now, he was just teasing me.
“Not there either?”
“Philip.” I hated that his name came out sounding so whiny, but I had no idea that I’d need his touch more than I needed air.
He must have taken pity on me, because he pulled me close so I was now almost lying on top of him, and he was kissing me again. He kissed me breathless, until I was almost delirious from lack of air. So much so that I hadn’t even noticed that his hand surrounded my rib cage, and his thumb was brushing the underside of my breast.
I whimpered with need and finally, Philip’s hand shifted upward and that same thumb thrummed across my peaked bud. A bolt of lightning shot through me, sizzling my blood in my veins. A thousand watts of electricity coursed through me and set my entire body aflame. There had to be a direct current between my breast and my core, because in seconds, I was wet. An ache grew inside me, and I didn’t know how to ease it. I’d never experienced these sensations before, and they were terrifying, yet exhilarating at the same time.
“Oh, god.” I breathed out at the overwhelming emotions rushing through me.
Philip’s movements paused as though weighing my reaction. “More?”
“More,” I echoed.
He brushed my hair off my shoulder and began nibbling on my neck. I tilted my head to give him better access, and I gasped when he nipped gently at me, before soothing the slight sting with his tongue. My entire body almost catapulted off the couch when his large hand engulfed my breast, kneading it with the gentlest touch.
An inferno of heat burned through me as he continued his sensual assault. Between Philip’s lips on my neck, my lips, my shoulder and the friction against my aching breast, I was going through sensory overload, and was afraid of spontaneous combustion happening at any moment. I wanted to capture this night, these overwhelming emotions of lust and arousal, and bottle them. That way I could experience them at will whenever I wanted this glorious sensation to wash over me.
My body writhed and ached, and the throbbing in my lower belly screamed for something just out of reach. Needing to do something, I found myself straddling Philip’s lap. It was as though my body had been inhabited by someone I didn’t even know as I rubbed my breasts against his chest.
“You like that don’t you, baby?” Philip’s voice was rough with arousal.
At his words, a cold rush of air smothered me, and I couldn’t move. In that split second, my chest no longer rose, and no air entered my lungs. The sound of waves crashing against cliffs came with a resounding boom in my ears. My vision darkened, and sweat poured profusely from my pores.
“Casey? Casey? Talk to me. What’s going on?” Philip’s voice was muffled and broken as it battled against the ocean water in my head. It came from far away, and I could barely make it out.
“Damn it. I’m right here, Casey. You’re safe. It’s just me, Philip. Come on sweetie, open your eyes. Look at me. That’s it. Open your eyes. It’s okay. You’re okay.”
Finally, Philip’s words broke through the white noise, and I slowly regained awareness of where I was. Philip was on his knees next to the couch, and I was laying on my back as he pressed a cold towel across my forehead. I laid there, feeling the thudding of my heartbeat slowing down in my ears, the buzzing sound dimming to a dull roar. My hair felt sticky with sweat, and my head was starting to pound. None of this mattered in comparison to the raging embarrassment I felt. To this utter powerlessness coursing through me as the memories came crashing in.
“Oh god, please kill me now,” I moaned with my forearm draped over my eyes to avoid the pity surely shining out of Philip’s. This was utterly mortifying.
“Casey, baby, what happened?” Philip’s words were imbued with concern, but I couldn’t help flinch.
“Please don’t call me that.” My voice was rough, my throat thick and tight trying to get the request out.
“Don’t call you what? Baby?” I could hear his confusion.
I pushed the washcloth off my forehead and sat up on the couch, scooting as far over as I could possibly go as I curled into the armrest, knees to chest, with my arms wrapped around them. I couldn’t bear to look at Philip right now. Not that he’d done anything wrong. It wasn’t his fault what just happened. He couldn’t have known how I’d react. I didn’t know how I’d react.
“That’s what Mr. Childress would call me.” It had taken me a long time to be able to say his name without vomiting. I inhaled a shuddering breath before continuing. “Every time he would come to my room and touch me, do things to me, he’d always say ‘you like that, don’t you, baby?’ Hearing those words again just…freaked me out, I guess. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you ever fucking say you’re sorry about something like that.”
I jumped at the biting words. My eyes drifted to Philip. Some of his hair had come loose from its tie, and several strands were sticking up as though he’d run his fingers through its long length. His fists clenched and unclenched on his lap. My gaze darted up to meet his.
“I’m the one who is sorry. I knew this was a bad idea from the beginning. I got carried away. Don’t worry; it won’t happen again.”
His tone held a note of finality.
“Yes, it will. I mean, not the freaking out part. I mean, at least, I hope it doesn’t. But, if it does, we’ll talk it out. Re-evaluate and start over.”
“I can’t go through the last twenty minutes, Casey. Do you have any idea what it was like for me when you were gasping for air? I won’t do that to you again. I’m sorry.”
He rose from his kneeling position and headed for the front door. I jumped to my feet.
“Philip, wait.”
He stopped and turned toward me with such a sorrowful expression; my whole body jerked back. “I’m sorry, Casey. I just can’t.”
Then, he was gone.
10
PHILIP
When I woke this morning, I called both Casey’s sister and our mutual boss. I asked for someone to fill in for me for a few days, because I needed to step away for clarity. It was a chickenshit move, but I knew if I went over there right now, Casey would constantly needle me until I gave in. I’d always had trouble saying no to her, and she knew it. Instead of going to Casey’s, I stopped by Clarissa’s house to see how she and the girls were doing.
“Hey, sis.” I pulled her close and pressed a kiss to her cheek. The dark circles under her eyes seemed even more pronounced today. Something was going on with her; I just didn’t know what. I also knew that she’d tell me when she was ready.
“Hey,” she echoed, and I caught the fatigue in her voice.
“How are the girls doing? And Larry?” I asked as we settled in the living room.
“The girls are fine. Pippa is…well, she’s Pippa. Molly, on the other hand, has been difficult, to say the least. I’m not sure if she’s having trouble adjusting to her new school, struggling with schoolwork, or if she’s just being a typical teenager. She’s
thirteen-going-on-thirty. She thinks she knows everything, and nothing I say or do is right. I’m trying to cut her some slack, but she’s getting on my last nerve.”
“Do you want me to talk to her?”
“Lord, no, but thank you. Because then she’ll just get mad that I told you, and I’ll have to live with her being insufferable. The eye rolls, the frustrated sighs like I’m trying her patience. I have to close my eyes and count to ten most days to keep my cool. I keep hoping this is a short phase that she grows out of quickly. Otherwise, she may not make it to see fourteen.”
I hid my smile, because Clarissa sounded so aggrieved. Granted, the only experience I had with a teenage girl was her. But when she was fourteen, we’d been too busy taking care of our mom that my sister had matured faster than most teenage girls. So, it really could be as bad as she described. From the sounds of it, I was glad I hadn’t had to deal with it.
“Well, if you change your mind, let me know.”
She gave a tired smile. “I will. So, what about you? Did you ever decide what you were going to do about Casey?”
I tilted my head back to stare at the ceiling with a self-deprecating laugh. “I fucked up, Reecey. I knew I shouldn’t have said yes, but I did it anyway. I took it too far yesterday, and words might have been exchanged that could potentially ruin our friendship. Or, if not ruin it, then at least put a definite strain on it.”
Clarissa reached out placed her hand on mine. “If a few harsh words ruin a friendship like yours, then it wasn’t that strong to begin with. You apologize, you forgive, and you move forward.”
I looked over at her. Something in her tone made me wonder if she was still talking about Casey and me. I squeezed her hand in mine. She smiled, but it seemed forced.
“Are you sure you’re okay, sis?”
She let go of my hand with a little pat and stood. “I’m fine. I’m sure you have things you need to go take care of. Just think about what I said. You have to decide if Casey is worth fighting for.”