by LK Shaw
“Sully,” I heard him call over my head. “We gotta go. I’ll call you later. Thanks, man.”
He guided me outside, narrowly avoiding a collision with another couple walking down the sidewalk. Once he had me in the truck, I realized I was beginning to hyperventilate. I barely heard Philip’s door slam shut.
“Slow down, Casey. Look at me and breathe, honey.” His hands grasped my face, turning it toward him as I sucked in breath after breath without really exhaling. He slowed his breathing down, and I kept my eyes locked on his as I tried to force myself to match his slow, even breaths. It took all my focus, but finally, I could feel my inhalations becoming shorter, and my exhalations longer, until I was breathing at a nice, normal pace.
Then, I burst into tears. Uncontrollable, snotty sobbing. I wasn’t a pretty crier to say the least. Philip, lord love him, looked horrified. He pulled me into his chest and wrapped his strong arms around me, enveloping me with his warmth. He did his best to comfort me. Eventually, my sobs subsided, and I was able to pull myself together. I reluctantly moved from his embrace and grabbed a tissue from my purse to wipe my nose on.
“Will you take me home now, please?” I begged, turning away from him and staring out the window.
There was a long pause, and I suspected Philip wanted to say something more than, “sure,” but he didn’t. Instead, he put the truck in drive and drove us home.
“Can you stay with me for a while?” I asked when we’d pulled into the drive.
“Of course. Whatever you want,” he was quick to answer.
Once in the house, I made my way to the couch, patting the cushion next to me for Philip to sit. After he was settled, I plastered myself against his side and laid my head on his chest. His arm came around my shoulder, and he pulled me closer. I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to lay here and feel safe and protected. Inhaling deeply, I breathed in the faint smell of a musky cologne, laundry detergent, and male skin. Thankfully, Philip must have sensed my need for peace and quiet, because he didn’t try to talk. He just held me close. My eyes grew heavy, and just before I drifted off to sleep, I realized that being here, in Philip’s embrace, was what love felt like.
16
PHILIP
I knew the minute Casey had started having a panic attack, which was why I’d gotten her out of there as quickly as possible. Now, she was resting comfortably against me, and damn if I ever wanted to let her go. In that moment, I knew I was going to fight for her. She’d burrowed so far inside my heart, there was no turning back. I was head over heels in love with Casey Santiago. She’d grown so much over these last two years. Hell, in the last couple weeks. She was strong and bold and had so much courage. I wanted her to embrace everything life had to offer her.
My body stiffened when she moaned softly. At first, I thought maybe she was in the beginnings of a nightmare. It wouldn’t have surprised me after what happened today. When it happened again, I realized it was a different kind of moan. Especially when she arched and rubbed against me. I was torn. She was finally getting some rest, so I didn’t want to bother her. But, I also didn’t want to take advantage of her sleeping state.
I bit back my own groan when her leg shifted on top of mine, and her hot core pressed tightly against my thigh. Her moans grew as she rubbed against me, increasing the friction to her center. She had no idea what she was doing, and as much as it killed me to stop her, I had to. She needed to have full control of her faculties for me to allow this to continue. She needed to be awake and alert so she could make her own choices.
“Casey, sweetie, you have to wake up.” I begged as I shook her gently, trying to jar her back to reality.
Her body moved even faster against me, and her hand began traversing my chest and stomach. My body was on fire, and my cock throbbed against my zipper, begging to be set free.
“Casey!” My voice called to her at an almost yell.
She jumped, startled, and then froze. Cautiously, I looked down at her, not sure what I expected to see. Wide azure eyes filled with shock and arousal stared back at me. But she still didn’t retreat.
“Now might be a good time to, um, untangle yourself. You know, before I embarrass myself,” I lightheartedly joked trying to ease the tension.
The surprise receded from her pupils, but the desire continued to grow. “Do you know I’ve never had an orgasm before?”
Inwardly, I groaned. God, why did she have to say that? I was more than ready to give her her first, but I wasn’t sure where this conversation was going. I awkwardly coughed. “Uh, no, I didn’t actually know that.”
“I was having the most delicious dream just a minute ago. I’ve touched myself, you know. But even that hasn’t come close to what I was just feeling. I was on the precipice of something Philip. Something big, momentous, and beautiful.”
Casey slowly started rocking against me again, increasing the friction between our bodies. It was all I could do not to pull her onto my lap and slide my cock against her pussy. I wanted to rub my hardness between her legs until the pressure was so great, an orgasm couldn’t help but explode from her. I almost missed her next words, I was so distracted.
“It was so close I could almost taste it. I want to taste it Philip. I don’t think there’s anything in my life I’ve ever wanted more.”
God, this woman was going to kill me. My voice came out husky. “I’ll give you anything you want. Just tell me.”
“I want to come, but I don’t know how.”
I gripped her hip, pulling on it a little to replicate her former movements. “Just keep moving like that.”
Back and forth she rubbed, pushing herself harder and harder against my leg, but she wasn’t getting what she needed. “Help me, Philip. I’m so close.”
I swallowed hard, because there was only one thing I could think of to do. “Are you sure? It means touching you.”
Casey moaned. “God, yes. Do it. Touch me, please. Just make this ache go away.”
Slowly, hesitantly, I reached between us and touched her stomach. When she didn’t flinch, I unbuttoned her pants and slid my hand down until I brushed up against a tuft of hair. Praying I was doing the right thing, I moved my finger slightly farther south. Her clit was swollen, and when my digit grazed it, Casey let out a hiss. “Yes, right there.”
Beginning a slow, grinding motion, I circled, rubbed, and flicked the nub. She writhed against me, and my cock hardened even more. Her breathing grew shallower, and she made little mewling sounds as she chased her climax. I felt her muscles begin to tighten, and with her next exhale, her whole body trembled with the force of her orgasm.
I slid my hand out from her pants and waited with bated breath to see how the next few minutes played out. Casey purred a little and wiggled against me before settling down against my side.
“Thank you.” Her voice was soft and sated. “I never knew it could feel like that. It was like stars bursting in the midnight sky.”
“All you ever have to do is ask. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Casey. Nothing.” I was fierce in my declaration.
She sleepily looked up at me and smiled. “I’ll be sure to remember that.”
For the second time that night, she drifted off to sleep. I held her a little while longer, before I moved out from underneath her. I cradled her in my arms as I carried her to the bedroom. Once the covers were pulled down, I gently placed her on the bed. After removing her shoes, I covered her with the blankets and kissed her on the forehead. I locked up and let myself out of the house, my thoughts drifting to what happens next?
17
CASEY
The sound of my alarm clock blaring had me bolting upright in bed. I hurriedly hit the off button as I realized I was in my own room, still fully dressed. Minus my shoes. I didn’t even remember going to bed last night. But then, everything came rushing back to me. The panic attack at Sully’s and then after with Philip. Mortification rushed through me. I couldn’t believe how forward I’d been. I mean I’d dry
humped his thigh, for god’s sake. Then, he touched me and made me orgasm. I shielded my eyes with my arm and groaned.
A knock at the door scared me, and I screeched like a howler monkey. The door cracked open, and Philip poked his head in.
“Good morning. I made you breakfast. Come on out when you’re ready.” Then, he was gone.
I got up, took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. When I entered the kitchen, Philip sat at the table, drinking a cup of coffee.
“Hey, have a seat.” He rose and started plating food for me at the stove.
Bacon, eggs, and toast with jelly graced my plate. Then came the coffee and a glass of orange juice. Man, a girl could get used to this.
“Did you sleep okay?”
I finished chewing my food before answering. “I slept well. Did you…um, stay here all night?”
“No, I went home, but came back about an hour ago. I figured you’d be hungry when you woke. You fell asleep pretty early last night, and you hadn’t eaten for a while.”
“Oh, okay, thanks.” I was actually a little disappointed he hadn’t spent the night.
Philip made his own plate, and we ate in companionable silence. He was done eating first and was just finishing washing his plate when I took my last bite. I joined him at the sink. I stumbled over my words.
“Thanks, um, for last night.”
He grinned. “It was my pleasure.”
I flushed at his double entendre. “So, where do we go from here?”
He set the plate in the drainer and turned toward me, leaning his hip against the counter, and crossed his arms. “I assume we go to the same place we were heading when we began this journey. Unless you want off the train. Then, we go back to being Philip and Casey, friends for life.”
I nervously played with the end of my ponytail. “Is that where you want to go? Back to being just friends?”
Philip reached out to cup my jaw, his thumb rubbing across my cheekbone. “No, not at all. I’m on this ride for as far as it takes us. Even if it never stops. Do you understand?”
I tried to read into his words. If the ride never stopped, then that meant forever. Was he saying he loved me? After the epiphany that hit me last night, I didn’t think I could go back to being just friends. Not since realizing that, after all this time, I was in love with him.
I didn’t know what to say, so I tried to convey my feelings another way. I took his hand from my face and laid it over my heart, covering it with mine. “I hope the ride never stops.”
Keeping his hand on my heart, I moved closer and stood on tiptoes, pulling his head down to me. Our lips met for the briefest kiss before I wrapped my arms tightly around him and laid my head on his chest, breathing in his smell. It felt like coming home.
As though we’d both bared our hearts during our conversation over breakfast, there was a subtle shift in our relationship. Instead of Philip only coming three days a week, we spent every day together. We both still had to work, and I had my studies, but he came over every evening, and we made dinner together. One night, we ventured out to the grocery store together, which was interesting to say the least. I made it through without any major incident, but I was a sweaty, clammy mess by the time we got back to the truck.
Another night we went to the movies, sitting in the front row, right next to the emergency exit. Not once did Philip complain of a neck ache even though he’d spent two hours with it cranked back so he could watch the screen. We even went back to Sully’s a couple times, where he and Philip taught me how to play darts. I was definitely making progress in battling my agoraphobia. My goal was to walk across that stage at graduation and get my damn degree. I had over a month to battle my demons and win.
Philip and I also started becoming more intimate. We still hadn’t made love, but we spent our nights learning each other’s body. We’d taken things slow over the last couple weeks, and we’d only had to stop what was happening once due to a panic attack. Everything we did was for my pleasure, with Philip giving me orgasm after orgasm. I was gaining confidence and becoming bolder in asking for what I wanted. For instance, tonight I wanted to try something new. I wanted to be the one to give him pleasure instead.
Philip had brought over Chinese takeout for supper. We sat on pillows on the floor around the coffee table with slow, romantic music playing in the background. I turned the lights down and lit candles all around the room. The smell of apples from the wall air freshener was faint beneath the aroma of dim sum and orange chicken. Philip had tried teaching me how to use chopsticks, but my skills were hopelessly lacking and didn’t appear to be improving anytime soon. As I repeatedly dropped my piece of chicken, I gave up. Snatching up my fork, I dug in.
“I think this even tastes better using a fork.” I moaned as the citrus burst of orange peel spread across my taste buds. “I’m not meant to use chopsticks, I’m afraid.”
Philip pulled his noodles out of the little cardboard box like a pro with the wooden sticks, sending me a mocking salute with them.
“Yeah, yeah, bask in your skill. Some of us are just not as adept with their hands.”
Philip winked at me with a seductive tilt to his lips. “Oh, I have no complaints with your hand adeptness.”
He shoved the noodles in mouth as I almost spit out my piece of chicken.
“I think it’s your life’s goal to make me blush.”
Philip bopped me on the end of my nose with his chopsticks. “Not at all. It’s my life’s goal to help you find the sexy, confident woman you are. I fully compliment you on all your skills.”
I could only roll my eyes at his teasing. “Thank you, I guess.”
Except I couldn’t stop thinking about my so-called skills and how I wanted to improve upon them. Since I wasn’t quite ready to ask outright, I figure I’d wait until we went to bed and ease into it. Something told me Philip wouldn’t have any objections.
“I spoke to Clarissa the other day. She wanted to know if you were free for lunch Wednesday. I didn’t know if you were ready for that, or if you’d even want to, so I told her I’d ask.”
I thought about it for a minute. Other than catching Uber rides with Kelsey over to my sister’s house, every time I’d ventured somewhere, it had always been with Philip. This was a big step, and it was time to make it.
“I’d love to have lunch with her. You can give her my number, and she’s welcome to call me. That way you don’t have to play middle man.”
Philip’s eyes lit up with pride. “Perfect. I’ll text her your number tomorrow and you ladies can chat and plan.”
We finished eating and moved to the couch to watch a movie. Tonight’s choice was Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2. It certainly wasn’t the sexiest movie I could have chosen for my seduction, but I’d been wanting to see it for months. Besides, between that Chris guy and Philip, there was enough man-candy to quietly rev my engine.
Idly, I drew patterns on Philip’s chest, and I realized I wasn’t paying much attention to the movie. Instead, my focus kept drifting elsewhere.
Obviously sensing my attention was no longer on the movie, Philip tipped my chin up with his finger. “Is something bothering you? You’ve barely looked at the TV for the last twenty minutes. You’re missing Chris without his shirt on.”
I snorted. “I think I’ll survive another day.”
He felt my forehead with the back of his hand. “You’re not coming down with something are you?”
I batted his hand away, giggling. “I’m perfectly fine. My mind is just elsewhere.”
“Care to share?”
“Let’s go to bed.” I avoided directly answering Philip’s question.
He stared at me for a moment, before reaching for the remote and shutting the movie and TV off. After rising off the couch, he helped me to my feet, and we headed to the bedroom.
“I’m gonna brush my teeth real quick,” I announced suddenly before I escaped to the bathroom. I could hear Philip moving around in the bedroom. I quickly cleaned my tee
th, then sniffed my pits before fluffing my hair. Hand on the doorknob, I inhaled deeply and walked back into the bedroom. Philip had shut off the ceiling light and turned on the lamps on the nightstands. He lay reclined in the bed, shirtless, muscles bulging as his arm crossed behind his head, against the headboard.
He patted the empty spot next to him.
“Why do you look so nervous?” he asked as I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to my chest.
“Do I?” was my evasive answer.
Philip turned on his side and leaned on his elbow. “Yes, you do. What’s going through that mind of yours?”
He patiently waited as I thought of the best way to frame my response. Finally, I just blurted it out. “I want to pleasure you.”
His forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What do you mean? Casey, honey, I’m always pleasured whenever we’re together. I hope you don’t think otherwise.”
“No, I know that,” I rushed to assure him. I sighed because I was just going to have to spit it out. “I want to see all of you. Touch all of you.”
Understanding lit up his eyes. “Sweetheart, you can touch me anywhere, anytime. You don’t even have to ask.”
Philip shifted onto his back and flung the covers off him, exposing his body to my view. He crossed his arms behind his head again as I looked my fill. I’d been utterly shocked the first time I’d seen him without a shirt on. Through each of his nipples was a barbell. I’d never pictured Philip as a piercing kind of guy. He’d said he’d done it on a dare from one of his old Marine buddies, but after they were done, he’d kept them.
My gaze followed the trail of hair as it bisected his chest and led downward. I counted each of his abs during my inspection. My eyes widened at the ever growing bulge behind his black boxer briefs. I’d felt it while we were in bed, pressing against me, and it was impressive.
“Will you take them off?” My voice was hushed.