by Edie Claire
“Maggie,” he said, feigning a sigh. “She’s the bossy one. Works as a nurse anesthetist in Seattle. Nine years older than me. Born when my parents were both still medical residents. You’d think they’d know better, wouldn’t you?”
“Both your parents are doctors?” Haley interrupted, intrigued. No wonder the guy was smart.
“Yep,” he replied. “Jenna followed two years later. She’s the drama queen, works in sales and marketing for a different company every six months.”
Haley tried to commit the names to memory. Why she found his family so interesting, she wasn’t sure. But she enjoyed hearing him talk about them.
“Lara’s next,’ he continued. “She’s five years older than me, but you could say we’re the closest. She’s a chemical engineer, and one of the smartest women I know. Emma is the youngest of the girls, three years older than me. She has a degree in English literature, but she works with her husband in his electrical business. She’s the only one besides me to leave Seattle and she only got as far as Yakima.” He glanced back at Haley. “Every one of them is over thirty and married with kids, but they still enjoy plotting together to torture me. Is that an acceptable rundown?”
Haley considered. They were still walking through some pretty dense brush. Plenty of hiding places for easily startled bears. “Not quite,” she answered. “What kind of doctors are your parents?”
“OB/GYNs.”
Haley’s eyebrows perked. “Both of them?”
“Unfortunately,” he continued. “They’re both still working, too. My mom’s been delivering babies for three decades now. My dad has more of a lab job — he does gynecological research.”
Haley wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” he said grimly. “Add four much-older sisters into the mix, and you can imagine what I went through growing up.”
Haley chuckled. “Must have made for some interesting dinner conversations.”
He turned and looked at her. “You have no idea.”
She laughed louder. “A well-educated little boy, were you?”
He started moving again. “This conversation is over. Tell me about your family.”
Haley felt an unpleasant clenching in her chest. “There’s not much to tell.”
“Are those bear tracks I see?” Ben joked, looking idly off into the trees.
“All right!” Haley caved. “It’s just Micah and me, and my mother. My father died when we were fourteen.”
Ben turned. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks,” Haley said, ducking her head and continuing to walk. She really, really needed to schedule that cry. “It was a tough time, but we got through it. He was an attorney, too. A very successful one. My mother has a teaching degree, but she’s never worked. Micah married her boyfriend Tim right out of college, and I went to law school. We all still live in Newport Beach. My mother’s parents lived there for decades too, but now they’re in assisted living in Phoenix, near my other uncle. My father’s parents passed away a long time ago. My uncle Randy was the last relative on that side of the family, as far as I know.”
“Does your sister have any children?”
A beat passed. “Not yet. But they’re expecting.”
Haley stopped talking. Her stomach was beginning to ache again. When Ben talked about his family, he left her laughing. When she talked about hers, it was like the sun slipped behind a cloud.
“Almost there now,” Ben said cheerfully. “You ready for a beautiful view?”
“Absolutely.” Please.
The woods opened up around them, revealing a plateau made up of large, irregular boulders. Farther up the cliff, more mounds of rock were visible, as well as a tantalizing glimpse of another cascading fall of blue ice. “Race you,” Ben teased, leaving the trail and heading for the top of the nearest boulder.
Haley scrambled up after him. When they reached the crest the wind picked up considerably, but the sun was shining. “Well,” Ben said proudly, gesturing around them. “What do you think?”
Haley rotated slowly, absorbing a full three-hundred-sixty degrees of raw, amazing beauty. The rocks beneath her feet were gray, laced with yellow-green moss and scrub, while darker green trees graced the hillsides, sweeping out, up, and over to blanket the lower hills. A valley below her sported a ripple of fast-moving water that spread out over a mysterious plain of gray-brown mud, while far away in the distance, much higher peaks of rock pushed their snowy tips toward the now-blue sky.
“You can’t see the glacier from right here,” Ben explained. “but its melt is feeding that stream below. The stream empties into the Resurrection River, which we drove along on the way up.”
Haley stood still and let the wind whip her jacket around her. Looking out over the sweeping vista, it seemed as if she could see forever. The enormity of it all made her feel quite small, but at the same time, strangely invigorated. She breathed in giant lungfuls of the brisk air. “Oh, yeah. That’s the stuff,” she mused. “Better than chocolate.”
Ben chuckled at her. He shrugged off his pack, sat down on the rock, and took out his water bottle. “We can rest here a while if you want.”
Haley wasn’t in the least tired, but knew she should not get dehydrated. The climb uphill had warmed her up nicely, despite the wind. She sat down beside him, took off her pack and her jacket, and pulled out her own water bottle. “Do you really spend the rest of the year in Maui?” she asked, not entirely sure where the question had come from.
“I really do,” he answered, stretching out on the rock with his hands behind his head. “Except for a couple weeks in May, and most of October. Then I stop over in Seattle and spend some time with the family.”
Haley smirked. “The family who tortures you?”
He smirked back. “Just my sisters. My nieces and nephews are great, and my brothers-in-law are all right, too.”
“And your parents?” Haley knew she was being nosey, but she couldn’t help herself. She was fascinated. She wanted to know everything about him.
“My mother is an absolute powerhouse of energy. No one can keep up with her. She runs her residents ragged and will probably never retire. My dad is as laid back as they come. We get along fine, except for the whole career thing.”
Haley sensed a note of frustration. “They don’t approve of yours?”
“It’s not that they don’t approve, exactly,” he answered. “Just that they consider it temporary. Like it’s something I need to get out of my system. My dad’s favorite line, which he delivers at least monthly, is ‘you could be making a lot more money with that brain of yours, son.’”
Haley smiled at the imitation. Ben made his father sound like James Earl Jones. “Well, he is right about that,” she said lightly.
Ben squinted at her from under the brim of his cap. “And what exactly do I need more money for, when I already have happiness?”
Haley’s eyes darted away. No snappy response came to mind. After a moment, the silence turned awkward.
“Are you really happy, Ben?” she asked finally, not looking at him. “Do you not worry about the future? Your financial security down the road?”
He propped himself up on an elbow. “No, Haley. I don’t. I’ve been supporting myself just fine ever since college. I can live on less because I choose to need less. I also happen to have a family who wouldn’t let me starve if I got hurt or sick and couldn’t work; and believe me, I don’t take that for granted. But for the foreseeable future, I’m good. And yes, I am happy.” He swept an arm across the vista before them. “How many other people get to wake up every morning to views like this… and a job they love?”
Haley made no response. She felt like he was trying to catch her eye, but she wouldn’t look at him. He had asked her before if she liked her job. Sure, she had said, I’m good at it. I make a lot of money.
What the hell kind of answer was that?
She stuffed her jacket and water bottle back into her backpack. Ben’s philosoph
y might be well and good for him, but he couldn’t possibly understand her own situation. Unlike him, she had responsibilities. Other people who depended on her. The fantasy of living every day like it was vacation was just that — fantasy.
All the more reason to enjoy the four short days she had left.
She stood up tall on the rock and marveled again at the amazing display before her. On impulse, she clasped her hands together and stretched her arms high above her head, breathing in a complete chestful of the perfect mountain air.
So nice.
She breathed out again with a feeling of resignation. Only four more days. She had to make the most of them.
“Come on,” she said playfully, nudging the still-recumbent Ben with her toe. “Let’s go touch that glacier.”
Chapter 13
Haley stepped onto the wooden walkway that spanned a deep fissure in the rock and looked back over her shoulder. Ben was lagging for some reason. The trail was out in the open now, so she had dared to take the lead. She couldn’t believe that her doing so would bother him. But something was bothering him. “Tiring out already, Captain?” she called. “Maybe I need to get you running with me in the mornings. Assuming I can ever get myself out of bed early enough to do it again.”
He attempted a smile, but couldn’t quite fake it. “At the risk of worsening your phobia, I wouldn’t advise running around the cabins. If you’re going to run in bear country, you should stick to open areas like the main roads.”
Haley paled. “Maybe I’ll take up swimming. Unless the orcas would eat me.”
“The residents usually prefer fish,” he said offhandedly, catching up to her. “A transient orca might mistake you for a seal, but since you’d be dead of hypothermia in minutes, they’d probably pass. They prefer live food.”
“Thanks,” Haley said sarcastically, studying him. He pulled out his sunglasses and put them on, but not before she caught a look of near panic in his eyes.
What the heck?
She looked back over his shoulder at the trail. If he had seen something dangerous, surely he would tell her. “Is something wrong?”
“Of course not,” he said unconvincingly, passing her on the platform and beckoning her forward. “Come on and check out this view. You’ll love it.”
Haley followed him to the edge of a rocky precipice, where a rope hanging off wooden posts was all that separated them from a steep drop and a gorge filled with shining blue ice. The massive column of long-frozen water began far above their heads and stretched down as far as they could see toward the riverbed below.
“It’s magnificent,” Haley whispered. “I can feel the cold coming off of it from here. But it’s too far away to touch.”
“It didn’t used to be,” Ben explained. “It’s shrinking fast, like all the glaciers. But you can still touch it at its toe section. We’ll hike down there next. Whenever you’re ready.”
With that, he retreated to another mound of rock and leaned against it, his arms folded over his chest.
Haley wasn’t fooled. He was upset about something. But what? She thought back over their conversation, but came up with no clues. She hadn’t exactly gushed over the wisdom of his choosing to live his life on a shoestring. But he obviously knew what he wanted and what he was about — he didn’t need her affirmation or anybody else’s. The fact that he didn’t easily take offense was one of his more agreeable attributes.
Besides which, the vibe she was picking up from him wasn’t annoyance, or resentment, or disappointment. It was more like shock… and confusion.
At some point in the last twenty minutes, something had happened that had totally freaked the man out. And whatever it was, he didn’t want her to know about it.
A group of three other hikers started across the platform toward them. Haley looked out at the sculpted wall of ice for another long moment, admiring the interplay of colors within its many textures and depths, then turned away towards Ben. If he kept acting strange, she would call him out on it. Their time together was too precious to waste on a misunderstanding.
She had not quite reached him when a ringtone sounded from her backpack. She stopped abruptly. “No way!” she protested, shrugging off the pack and digging out her phone with annoyance. “I thought there was no reception out here!”
Ben shrugged. His sunglasses still hid his face. “There usually isn’t. But you never know.”
Haley swore under her breath and looked at her screen. One bar. One flippin’ little bar. If she answered it, she probably wouldn’t get three words in before the line cut out again. She should ignore it.
It was Micah.
Dammit.
Micah wasn’t likely to call for just anything. Had the test results come back early?
Haley punched the button. “Micah? I only have one bar; we’re going to get cut off. Is everything okay?”
Ben looked disappointed. Haley whirled away from him, only to find herself being glared at by the other hikers. Fabulous.
Her sister was sobbing and hiccupping into the phone. “Micah, what is it?” Haley demanded.
“Can I move into your place for a while?” Micah stammered. “I can’t stay with Mom anymore. You know how she is! All we’ve done since I got here is argue.”
Something rumbled and bubbled in Haley’s middle. It was hot, it was heavy, and it was threatening implosion. The arm holding her phone began to tremble. “No, Micah,” she ordered, her voice low. “No, you may not move into my apartment. Go home.”
“But, I—”
“I said no!” Haley barked. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, unable to stand the looks of annoyance she was certain were being directed at her from all sides. She refused to enable Micah’s avoidance of the problems in her marriage — problems Micah was creating for herself by acting like a spoiled child. Besides which, if Haley said yes, Micah wouldn’t just be there for the night, she would still be there when Haley got back. And Haley’s home was her one oasis from the insanity. She needed that oasis. For her own sanity.
“I can’t believe you’re being so unreasonable about this!” Micah screeched. “I’m asking you for help, Haley. I need some more time before I face Tim again. Please.”
“Then check into a motel!” Haley hissed.
“But you’re not even using it!” Micah pressed. “How can you be so selfish? All I’m—”
The line went dead.
Haley was pulling back her arm to vault her phone into the gorge when she felt Ben gently grab hold of her wrist.
“Mind if I take this a minute?” he asked, his other hand closing over the phone.
Haley’s whole body was shaking. She couldn’t seem to control it. She released her hold.
“Not that I don’t like the concept,” Ben said quietly, shutting the phone off and stuffing it back into her pack. “But littering offends me.” He began to head back the way they had come and gestured for her to follow.
Haley cast a glance around, unsure if she could move. Her pent-up emotions were preparing to detonate. Right here, right now. Deep inside her ribcage, molten lava was bubbling. Any second a stream of saltwater was going to shoot up out of her eyes.
The other hikers stared daggers at her.
“Haley!” Ben called more insistently. She looked at him. He tossed his head and gestured with his hand again.
She moved. He led her back across the wooden platform, then took a turn downhill and into another stretch of woods. She stumbled after his fuzzy form, getting herself repeatedly whacked with low-hanging branches as she struggled to see through a film of still-restrained tears. She had to get to someplace private. Now. But where could she go?
Ben stopped suddenly and turned to face her. At some point they must have left the trail. They were standing next to a large rock in the middle of a thick stand of trees. He beckoned her forward and held out his arms. “Come here.”
Haley stiffened. She couldn’t. Surely, he didn’t mean it. He didn’t understand.
She tried
to read his expression, but he was still wearing the damned shades and her vision was so blurry she could barely tell his nose from his Mariners hat. Besides which, her face was exploding.
“Yeah, I know,” he said gruffly, but with a trace of humor. “You shouldn’t impose. I might get the wrong idea, yada yada yada. You gave me the speech already, remember? I heard you. Now, come here.”
Haley went.
She buried her face in her hands and pressed both against the soft flannel jacket that covered his chest. His long arms enveloped her and crushed her close.
The volcano erupted. Huge, wracking sobs pulsed up from the soles of her feet, convulsing her like a ragdoll. Her legs might not have held her up, but thankfully they didn’t have to. What little strength she had was focused on keeping the stream of fluid flowing out of her face on the cuffs of her own sleeves and off of his shirt. She cried. And she cried.
She cried some more.
And then she was done.
Haley drew in a deep, ragged breath and withdrew a little. Ben released his hold, but kept his hands on her arms as he stepped back to take a look at her.
“Better?”
Haley swallowed. “Much. Thanks.” She couldn’t breathe without gulping.
“You want to talk about it?”
She shook her head briskly. “No. Yes. I don’t know.”
He paused a moment. “Well, as long as you’re sure,” he said lightly. “Let’s keep moving. I’d hate for the rest of the glacier to melt before you get to touch it.”
Haley nodded eagerly. Ben turned away from her and led on.
He didn’t turn around again for a long time, for which she was grateful. She was less grateful that, true to Carrie’s warning, they were obviously way off the trail.
“Listen up, bears,” he called out as the underbrush thickened. “We are human. Do not eat us.”
Haley stepped high over giant ferns and other strange plants with large fronds shaped like maple leaves. Every last square inch of dirt seemed determined to grow something green while the warm weather lasted. Sunlight sifted through the trees to merely dapple the ground below, but the profusion of plants thrived nevertheless. Though their walking progress was slow, Haley found she didn’t mind. It was as if she were drifting through a fantasy world.