by Susanne Beck
It was a warm summer’s day.
The kind so perfect that it seemed to have been made just for me.
The sky, a brilliant, untouchable blue, seemed the perfect playground for the newly-born sun.
I found myself sitting beneath the welcoming shade of a towering pine, ostensibly writing in my journal. What I was really doing, however, was watching the splendor that was my lover as she laid out on the wooden raft which floated, buoyed up by empty oil drums, about fifty yards into the center of the lake.
Resting back on her elbows, her head tipped back so the wet, inky mass of her hair trailed along the weathered wood, eyes closed and lips parted just slightly, and both long, tanned legs stretched out to their fullest, she seemed the poster child for every boy’s first solitary foray into nocturnal bliss.
I felt a surge of jealousy as I watched the sun make sweet love to her bronzed and beautiful form.
My journal dropping unnoticed to the fragrant nest of pine needles, I stood and shucked off the long T-shirt which was covering my bathing suit, tossing it thoughtlessly god knows where as I ran down over the narrow beach and into the tepid water, suddenly unable to stand one more second separated from her.
My arms warmed to their task quickly, pulling me easily along through the water. Having long ago memorized the exact number of strokes needed to get from shore to raft, I stuck my hand out blindly at number forty, pulling up in surprise when it encountered nothing but air.
Blinking droplets from my eyes, I tread water, trying to discover if what I thought I was seeing was really what I was, in fact, seeing.
The raft was exactly as far away as it had been when I started swimming.
If I hadn’t known for absolute truth that the raft was anchored to the lakebed with a secure cement plug, I might have thought Ice was having me on.
"Ice?" I asked, well knowing she would hear me over the still waters of the lake. We were the only ones there, after all.
If she heard me, she chose to ignore my summons, seemingly content with the sun’s relentless seduction of her body.
Shrugging mental shoulders, I struck out once again, carefully counting my strokes and willing myself nearer with each one to the woman who was my heart.
Something brushed against the bottom of my foot, but I took it for an inquisitive fish and continued on unafraid.
When the contact was repeated, I kicked out strongly, my foot landing against a soft, giving surface. A surface which was most definitely not a fish. Unless I’d missed the biology class which would have let me know that fish had suddenly developed the ability—not to mention appendages—needed to grasp a person’s ankle and yank. Hard.
Just managing a startled breath before I was pulled under, I kicked for all I was worth, using every trick Ice had taught me in our years together, as well as a few panic induced ones that she hadn’t.
Finally able to break free a split second before the need to take a breath would have resulted in a rather rapid drowning, I rose to the surface and filled my lungs with sweet, sweet air instead.
"Ice!" I screamed when I had the lungs for it, hearing the sheer panic in my voice as my lover’s name echoed over the lake.
Any chance at seeing her response ended abruptly as the hand, joined now by others, found purchase on my flailing legs and again pulled me swiftly beneath the now frigid water.
Forcing my eyes to remain open, I looked down and almost screamed again as I saw the grinning, water-bloated corpses of Carmine and his minions gathering around me like sharks to a bleeding whale. Blood oozed out from the bullet holes each had suffered, turning the water murky and dark as their hands, slimy and rotting, wrapped themselves around my ankles, wrists and waist.
Twisting with all of my strength, I was able to break away, using the bodies beneath me to push off and shoot to the surface.
My relief was short-lived, however, and after one quick gasp, I was pulled under yet again. And I knew without doubt that my first taste of freedom would also be my last.
Just when the lack of oxygen began to become a seductive Siren’s call to death, another hand reached for me, from above this time, and I felt myself being yanked toward the lake’s surface by a strength known and loved only too well.
"Ice!" my mind screamed with the last of its energy, my lungs already preparing for their first clean breath in what seemed eons of tortured waiting.
"I’ve gotcha, Angel," came the blessed contralto purr of my lover. "Hold onto me. I’ve gotcha."
Hold onto her I did, with both arms and legs, as I took in great, heaving breaths and tried to meld our bodies together.
"It’s alright, my love. It’s alright. I’ve gotcha. You’re safe now."
Well and truly I believed, right up until the second that a death-frozen hand latched itself to the bottom of my bathing suit and once again pulled me beneath the water, this time dragging Ice down with me.
Though we both struggled with a might to rival the ancient Titans, we might as well have been fighting against the weight of the earth as we were pulled unceasingly down into the tenebrous, blood-filled depths of the lake.
Well knowing that I would never see air again, my soul did the only thing it could.
Unlocking my death-grip, I attempted to push my lover back toward the far-away surface, knowing that whatever Hell I found myself in would be made infinitely worse by having caused her death.
Baring her teeth in that fierce smile which scared as much as thrilled, she shook her head and grabbed onto me again.
This time, however, instead of struggling, she brought our lips together in what I thought was a final kiss. My eyes widened in shock as I felt the last of her air being blown into my starved lungs. They widened still further as, with a mighty wrench, she pulled me free and sent me rocketing back to the surface as if blasted from the world’s largest cannon.
My head broke through into the day’s warmth and I spent a moment instinctively gasping for air before I realized exactly what it was she had done.
The unmistakable sound of a gasoline nozzle slipping into the tank awakened me a split second before my scream would have shattered every window in the car.
"Are you alright, Angel?" Corinne asked from the darkness somewhere above my head.
"Yeah," I replied softly. "Just gimme a minute to collect myself."
"I still believe we should market these nightmares of yours, Angel. Apt to be a damn sight better than the current drivel filling the cracker-boxes calling themselves theaters these days."
"You don’t wanna go there, Corinne," I said, pulling myself up and away from her and running still trembling fingers through my hair. "Believe me."
"It was just a thought," she replied primly before lapsing into silence once again.
Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I gradually became aware of the yellowish light that filtered in through the windows. "Where are we, anyway?"
"Somewhere just outside of Knoxville, I believe."
"Knoxville? Tennessee? Isn’t that just a little bit out of the way for where we’re going?"
"There’s an ice storm headed out over the plains. She’s taking us via the southern route."
"You managed to get that much out of her, huh?" I tried hard not to sound as envious as I felt.
"But of course. I’m not the one she’s ignoring, after all."
"Just what I need," I sighed. "Trapped in a car for three thousand miles with Smug and Silent. And I thought my nightmares were bad!"
Her gentle laugh filled the car, chasing away the remaining fragments of my dream.
* * *
A few hours later, we pulled to a stop in front of a nationally known motel chain; a name you’d recognize easily if you’d ever been treated to the down-home earnestness of an announcer promising he’d keep the illumination burning for all and sundry.
Before I could even think to blink my eyes against the bright neon which cut through the car’s interior gloom like the motel chain’s promised beacon, the door
beside me opened and a key, bearing the number 139, was thrust without comment into my hand.
"Thank... you," I finished to an empty space. "Corinne..."
"I’ll talk to her, Angel. Tomorrow. This car seat is doing a great number of unpleasurable things to parts of my anatomy best left to the tender care of others. So, if you don’t mind too terribly much..."
"Out it is."
"I knew you’d see it my way."
Though my legs lodged a formal protest with my spine over being suddenly asked to bear my weight after so many hours of inactivity, they were soon happy with the chance to stretch and so promptly withdrew their grievance and willingly carried me to the open trunk, before which was standing Rio who shot me a look that would have frozen erupting lava, had a such a volcano been handy.
Responding to her look with a withering one of my own, I reached into the trunk and grabbed hold of my overnight bag, inside which lay nestled all the necessities for my life on the road. Pulling it out easily, I then reached for Corinne’s bag, which was a great deal heavier than mine.
For a moment, I thought my "tougher than thou" act would be all for naught as my rebellious arms almost failed in their appointed task, but, wisely succumbing to the scathing invectives tossed downward from my brain, I grasped hold of the bag and hauled it out, giving my watcher a smirk that would have done my lover proud.
Corinne gave me a round of nearly silent applause as I reached the door bearing the same number as the room key. Taking said key from my outstretched finger, she jammed it home in the lock and flung open the door. A blast of frigid, disinfectant-scented air wafted out, causing my entire body to erupt into goosebumps the size of small boulders. "Jesus," I gasped. "Did somebody forget to tell them it was November?"
"Apparently, Tom Bodette doesn’t get out much," Corinne muttered, striding to the air-conditioning unit and turning it off with a vicious twist of her wrist.
Shuffling forward, I managed to dump the bags on the bed before collapsing there myself. The bedsprings poked at my kidneys, reminding me of yet another task I needed to perform before I could try and relax the strain of the day away.
Getting up from the bed, I walked into a bathroom that made my cell in the Bog look positively mammoth. As I sat down on the commode, my knees brushed against the opposite wall. The image of Rio in a similar situation brought a nasty grin to my face and, though it embarrasses me to say so, I readily confess to hoping that the greasy burgers we’d eaten along the way decided to play absolute havoc with her digestive system.
Though little more than a closet with a nozzle, the shower beckoned me and I, in my utter exhaustion, couldn’t help but respond. Repeatedly smashing my elbows and knees to bleeding against the faux stucco of the room’s interior, I shrugged off my clothes, reached in and turned on the water as high and as hot as it could go (which was, unfortunately, no more than "gentle summer drizzle" and "slightly-less-than-tepid") and stepped inside, groaning with relief as the warm water hit my body.
My hands gliding over places which hadn’t seen my lover’s touch in months, I was sorely tempted to do more than just get clean, but the thought of Ice locked down in a rat-infested and pitch-black cell froze the little square of soap in its tracks and my libido promptly followed the water down the drain.
Drying off was another exercise in futility, given the scratchy towel of a size more commonly seen on the upper right corners of envelopes.
That task completed to the absolute best of my somewhat limited ability, I realized I’d forgotten to bring a change of clothes in with me, and after debating for a brief moment over the wisdom of calling for aid, I shrugged my shoulders and wrapped as much of the pitiful excuse for a towel around my waist as I could; girding my loins, so to speak, against the comments I knew would follow once I stepped out of the bathroom.
And follow they did, though thankfully they were limited to a slight, almost inaudible intake of breath and the widening of dark eyes behind prim half-glasses.
Flashing Corinne my most rakish grin, I brushed airily by on my way to the bed and my suitcase thereon.
And almost lost what little composure I’d managed to maintain when Corinne, too busy staring at me to pay attention to where she was headed, missed the entrance to the bathroom entirely and became intimate acquaintances with the wall next to it. Nearly biting my tongue clear through in my attempt not to give vent to the laughter rolling silent through my body, I heard clearly Corinne’s muttered invective which promised dire consequences of the arsenic kind should she ever have the great good fortune to meet up with a certain male member of the Bodette clan.
After she disappeared into the bathroom, I let my laughter run free as I fumbled in my bag for something with which to cover myself. I pulled out an overlarge T-shirt that I freely admit belonged to Ice. Unlaundered, her scent clung to the fabric. I breathed deeply of it as I pulled the shirt over my head, hugging it close to my body after it was fully on and crying just a little with missing her.
Knowing that tears at that point would quickly degenerate into a storm of mournful sobbing, I savagely brushed at my cheeks and slipped in between the cool sheets of one of the narrow beds, picking up the television remote and clicking listlessly through the dozens of channels available.
When nothing struck my fancy, I tossed the remote carelessly back onto the nightstand, punched my pillow a couple of times and, with a sigh, laid my body down on the bed. Though emotionally exhausted, the six hour nap I’d taken in the car guaranteed a restless night.
Corinne exited the bathroom clad in a demure nightgown which I would never have expected her to own, much less wear. Bypassing her own bed, she came to sit down on mine, smiling kindly down at me. "Can’t sleep?" she asked, stroking the bangs from my eyes.
"Not really, no," I replied softly, closing my eyes in response to the tender caress. "Do you think I’m doing the right thing, Corinne?" I asked after a long, silent moment.
"Do you think you are?"
I opened my eyes. "Would I be asking you if I knew?" Then I sighed. "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you." The tears welled once again, Corinne’s sweet compassion breaking down any walls of resistance I might have had. "I’m... I just... I miss her."
She smiled tenderly. "It’s quite alright, Angel. I miss her too."
"Why does it always have to be like this? Every time I think we’ve earned a break, something happens to separate us. Why? Is our love such a sin that we’re destined never to share it for more than a heartbeat at a time?"
"You don’t need me to answer that for you, Angel."
"No. I guess I don’t." Ice’s past was something that would never leave us alone, unless and until she paid full restitution on it.
"And would you have made a different decision had you known, way back when, how this path would unveil for you?"
"No," I answered without hesitation, knowing it for absolute truth. "Not even for a second."
"Then I think you have your answer, don’t you."
I smiled a little at that. "Yes. I suppose I do."
Returning my smile, she gathered me close and laid a gentle kiss against the crown of my head. "Sleep well, sweet Angel," she whispered, releasing me. "Morning will no doubt come early."
"Goodnight, Corinne," I said, kissing her cheek. "Thanks."
Getting up, she sketched a bow and grinned, her eyes twinkling. "At your service, oh Angelic one."
Though I felt immeasurably better for our brief conversation, sleep was still a very long time in coming.
* * *
What little sleep I’d finally managed to get was harshly interrupted by a savage pounding on the door. Had I been a cat, I would have been hanging upside-down from the ceiling, my claws sunk full into the plaster as my body shook in uncontrollable fright.
As it was, I let out a breathless scream and hit my head hard enough against the wall to see stars floating through the blackness of the room.
My life being what it is, I fear I�
��ll never respond to a knock upon a closed door with anything close to equanimity again.
Beside me, Corinne shot from her bed in a move faster than any I’d ever seen her make, her nightgown trailing behind her in a surprised blur as she strode across the small room and yanked open the door. Stepping through the space created, she slammed the door behind her, bathing the room in dark silence once again.
Silence which was fractured by the sound of Corinne’s tightly controlled voice spewing epithets which would have peeled the wallpaper had she been enunciating them inside the room rather than outside the door.
While I might normally have either stayed nearby to listen or gone outside in an attempt to make peace, my heart was too busy trying to crawl out of my mouth for me to give more than a passing thought to either possibility. Instead, knowing my sleep was well and truly a thing of the past, I went into the bathroom and tried my best to prepare myself for the coming day.
By the time I came out, clean if not necessarily refreshed, Corinne was again sitting on her bed, looking completely composed, as if being jolted out of bed in the middle of the night was an everyday occurrence for her. She gave me one of those smiles that your pet cat might give you after he’s eaten your prized canaries and made vast inroads on your goldfish as well.
Knowing better than to ask, I contented myself with running a quick brush through my hair and packing up my things in preparation for our no doubt imminent departure.
Still wearing that look of smug satisfaction, Corinne brushed by me on her way toward whatever morning rituals she had to perform.
A very short time later, we were both packed and ready. Opening the door, I winced as a frosty November wind sunk talons into my overwarm body, the scent of snow in the air reminding me of things I was trying desperately to forget. Like long Autumn nights spent curled up in front of a blazing fire, my body so entangled with that of my lover that I honestly didn’t know where I ended and she began.