When Claire entered the room, he looked up. “Good morning, my dear. You look beautiful this morning.”
She made a face. “I think you need an eye exam.” She gave him a kiss, and continued, “I just wanted to catch you before you left.” Claire sat down at the table and Catherine poured her coffee. “I wanted to tell you how much I appreciated talking to Emily. It’s a difficult time for them.” She added some cream and watched the ivory liquid swirl into the black abyss. Then she looked up into his eyes, wondering if they were the color of the coffee with or without the cream, and added, “And I wanted to let you know I’ll miss you.” Claire smiled at his cream filled eyes as she spoke.
“Good news, I’m working from home today.”
Claire’s heart sank, she really wanted alone time to contemplate the John thing; however, her smile never faltered.
Tony continued, “So you won’t need to miss me.”
“That’s great! Do you have a lot of work?”
“A few web conferences and phone calls, but don’t worry, I know your schedule is free. I have some ideas for us too.” The smile and the way his eyes shone made Claire question his ideas. She would be glad when Brent returned. This Tony made her uneasy. She detested the dual personalities.
Sipping her coffee, she replied, “All right, I need to work out and clean up. I came down here in a hurry to see you.”
“When you’re dressed come to my office,” he said. As he stood to leave, he paused to touch her shoulder.
Obediently, she replied, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
He kissed her cheek. “Or you could visit before you dress?” His tone, suddenly playful.
She touched his hand. “If I do that, you may not get your work done.” He reluctantly agreed and went to his office. She smiled at his attire: shirt, tie, NYU sweatpants, socks, and slippers. That comment to Vanity Fair had been truthful.
Claire’s thoughts wandered as she sipped her coffee, ate her breakfast, and looked out the tall windows. For January, the sky was an amazingly clear sapphire blue. Suddenly, she longed to be outside and in the sunshine. The John situation had her heartsick. Maybe some fresh air would give her a new perspective and some ideas to help her family. The beautiful scene outside the window beckoned her to walk, roam, and get away—if only for a few hours. The snow of the last few weeks had melted, yet today it was cold enough to keep the ground solid. Perhaps she would have time for a hike before Tony’s ideas. Maybe she could entice him to walk, too. He might have some ideas to help John.
Thinking about her walk, Claire finished her shower and left her bathroom considering the appropriate attire: jeans, a sweater, and hiking boots. Her plans didn’t matter. She saw her clothes were laid out. Claire hated that. The assistance with her clothes occurred without predictability since her accident. On her bed were jeans, dressier than she would have chosen and a blue snug-fitting V-neck sweater, not exactly perfect for hiking, but with the addition of a coat and scarf it could work.
Then Claire noticed her jewelry on the dressing table. Seriously, it’s morning! Who needs diamonds in the morning? Avoiding an unnecessary confrontation, she did as she was bid: dressed in the clothes and put on the diamond journey necklace, diamond stud earrings, and diamond watch.
Her new watch from Switzerland was beautiful, but it sat on her wrist as a constant reminder of punctuality. She’d been late twice. She didn’t need a watch to remind her of Tony’s appreciation. The first time taught her a lesson she’d never forget.
Luckily, there were no shoes set out. She could put on the hiking boots and hope for the best. Although she was pretty sure Tony’s ideas didn’t include shoes, hers did. Maybe he could find his hiking boots, too.
It was almost 10:00 AM by the time she reached his office. She knocked and waited for his permission to enter. She didn’t hear him, but the door opened. When she entered, she saw him seated behind his desk with a shirt and tie, looking so professional, she smiled and quietly sat on the leather sofa away from the webcams and waited for the web conference to finish. It had something to do with a company in Michigan that was losing money. The local government wasn’t willing to give more tax breaks. Were they going to close it or keep it open? The discussion revolved around the potential for future profits. Claire didn’t want to think about it. It would probably result in more unemployed people. She picked up a magazine and began quietly ruffling through the pages.
At 10:45 AM he finally finished. She waited for him to complete whatever he was doing on his computer. Once he was done, she heard his chair turn toward her. “Ahh, blue, my favorite color,” he said eying the sweater, as she walked toward him. “You’re beautiful in any color…” His eyes were appreciative of what he could see and what he couldn’t. “…or in no color.” He grinned and reached out to put his hands around her waist. “I have one more web conference at 11:00 AM and then two lunch phone calls. I’d like you back after that.” It sounded like a request; it wasn’t.
“It’s so nice out. I’d like to go for a hike while you are working.” Wording was such an intricate part of her negotiations.
“No. The phone calls may need to be postponed depending on the outcome of the next web conference. I’d like you here if I’m done earlier. We can lunch and discuss our possible afternoon activities.” He’d turned back to his computer screen and read while he spoke.
Claire took a breath, leaned down, and gently kissed his neck. She’d been good. He knew she was upset about her family. She hoped she could press a little more. “Well…” Purposely exhaling on his neck. “…then may I just go out back? The sky’s so clear and I could really use some fresh air.”
He was obviously engrossed with his computer, but her approach earned her a seductive grin. “Okay, just be back by noon, and could you get me some coffee before you go?”
Claire started to ask where Catherine or another member of the staff was, but deciding that it would delay her trip to the backyard. She kissed his neck. “Yes.”
In the kitchen she found coffee still warm in the pot. She added cream, carried it back to his office, and waited. It was now 10:57 AM.
Tony rummaged through some papers and simultaneously spoke on his iPhone. Hanging up, he said, “Tell Eric there are contracts at the Iowa City office. I need them here before 1:00 PM. He needs to get them immediately.”
Claire thought about how Tony was trying to keep her busy at home. She really didn’t mind; however, she wanted to go on her walk.
He must have read the question in her eyes. “And after that, go for your walk, just be back by noon.”
She smiled and kissed his cheek. “Okay. I’ll tell Eric and be back.”
She hurried off to find Eric. Claire asked Catherine about Eric’s whereabouts and explained she’d be in the backyard or gardens if Mr. Rawlings needed her before noon.
Catherine directed Claire to Eric’s apartment, attached to the main garage. Claire started back toward the garages, a walk she rarely took. She didn’t drive, and when she went anywhere Eric or Tony picked her up at the front door. The walkway between the main house and garages was beautiful. The windows on both sides continued the full length of the hall and were so clear they seemed invisible.
She looked at the sky and thought about her sister and brother-in-law. Emily sounded so distraught on the phone last night. The fact Tony reminded her to call was a miracle in itself. The fact she spoke on speaker phone was expected. Claire couldn’t believe John was actually in jail. The charges of embezzlement and fictitious client billing were ludicrous. John would never cheat on a test; much less do any of these things. That was what made John such an amazing attorney, he was honest to a fault. Claire had tried to reassure Emily. She wanted to go to her and help; however, Tony would never allow that. Perhaps she could send money for John’s defense. After all, wasn’t Tony telling her all the time how much capital she possessed? If money wasn’t good for accomplishing what you want, what good was it?
Her thoughts
quickly changed to the beautiful cars as she entered the garages. Tony definitely liked his cars. Claire knew they’d multiple new ones since her arrival. It was too bad she didn’t drive. Sighing, she thought, it has been almost two years.
Light filtered from under the apartment door as Claire knocked. Eric immediately answered. What she could see of his apartment looked like a nicely decorated living room with an attached dining area.
“Yes, Mrs. Rawlings. May I help you?”
“Eric, Mr. Rawlings said there are some contracts at his Iowa City office which he must have by 1:00 PM. If you go immediately, you’ll be back in time.” As Claire spoke, Eric grabbed his coat and hat. He unlocked a cabinet on the wall containing keys to all the cars, took out the keys to the BMW 7 Series, and shut the cabinet.
Hurriedly, Eric looked at his watch. “Ma’am, tell Mr. Rawlings I’ll be back before 12:30 PM.” He got into the car.
“I will, drive safely.” Claire figured it could wait until she saw him at noon. As Eric pulled out of the garage, Claire noticed the key cabinet. It hadn’t shut properly, revealing the keys to multiple cars. Suddenly nervous, Claire contemplated the keys. She should shut the cabinet and go out to the backyard for air, or she could take a set of keys and drive to as much air as she wanted. She wasn’t thinking air for a lifetime, only enough air to breathe.
The decision took only seconds, yet it seemed like an eternity. She reached in, grabbed the first set she touched, and hit the clicker. The lights on the Mercedes Benz flashed. In the midst of unpredictability, she’d done her best to be stable and obedient. This sudden impulsiveness filled her with excitement and fear. Before she could change her mind, she sat in the car, smelled the new car aroma, felt the leather steering wheel, and turned the key.
Her motivation wasn’t to leave Tony forever. It was just that she felt smothered. The constant monitoring, censoring, and controlling added to her sense of psychological instability. The dual Tonys added another dimension to her suffocation. A brief reprieve or a momentary freedom would help her sanity. Besides, she told her husband a year ago she liked to drive. That was all she wanted to do—drive.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it.
—Thomas Jefferson
The dashboard in front of her looked more like something from a helicopter, dials and lights came to life. Claire tried to remain calm, telling herself, driving hadn’t changed in twenty-two months. She just needed to put the car in gear and push the accelerator. Trembling at the prospect of the simplistic task, Claire almost ran into the garage door; however, she remembered to push the button, waited for the door to lift, and concentrated on breathing: slowly inhaling and exhaling. The door opened, and cautiously, she proceeded down the driveway. Claire prayed if anyone saw the car, they’d assume it was Eric. At the gates, she again pushed a button, the one she’d seen Eric push many times. At first, the gates seemed to hesitate, but then the iron fence swung wide.
Claire drove toward Highway I-80 and inhaled. It was the sweetest air she’d smelled in almost two years. The clock on the dashboard read 11:16 AM. She knew in forty-four minutes, Tony would expect her in his office. She reasoned perhaps the web conference would go long and he wouldn’t notice her absence, or maybe, the phone calls would start and he’d be preoccupied. She knew the truth. Tony could do ten things at once. Come 12:00:01 PM he’d be irritated, by 12:15 PM he’d be fuming. Feeling her heart beat intensify, she wondered what would happen when they reunited. What kind of punishment would he decide was appropriate for this behavior? Feeling her wet palms slide on the leather steering wheel, Claire chose not to linger on the possibilities. The Mercedes was now headed east on Highway I-80. Her mind searched for possible destinations. Courtney? No, she was out of town. Emily? No, that would be the first place Tony would check. Utilizing her therapy skills, she convinced herself this was a deserved break. She also instructed herself to relish the overpowering sensation of freedom, a feeling she hadn’t known in twenty-two months. Slowly, she felt her senses awaken. The countryside looked brighter. The leather seats emitted a stronger aroma. The wheels on the pavement created a soft hum, and the vibration responded to her movement of the wheel. It all invigorated her.
The brilliant dash indicated a full tank of gas. Silently, she thanked Eric, momentarily worrying he’d suffer because of her actions. She concentrated on the majestic world outside the windows and watched the traffic which consisted mostly of large semi-trucks. At first, this made Claire uncomfortable, but the Mercedes could weave and pass easily. Before moving to Tony’s, she drove a Honda Accord. It was a good car, but the Mercedes felt like driving a cloud. Then, the clock caught her eye, 12:11 PM. She started to wonder what was happening at home. Would he be looking for her or sending someone else to look? All Claire could do now was drive and think. She loved him, but the constant pressure was wearing on her.
She just needed a break.
Taking the bypass around Davenport, she decided to go south on Highway 74, away from New York City. At 3:30 PM she passed Peoria, Illinois. The emptiness in her stomach reminded her she hadn’t stopped driving since she left the estate. She desperately needed a restroom and some food. In the distance she spotted golden arches. French fries sounded wonderful.
She hadn’t eaten fast-food in almost two years. Claire turned the wheel and eased into the McDonald’s parking lot. Contemplating her order, she realized she didn’t have money. Oh well, the restroom was free. If she had planned this excursion, she would have grabbed a coat and her purse. More than likely Tony had her ID and credit card, but for appearances, she usually had cash in her wallet.
The overpowering aroma of fries, from the inside of the restaurant, lingered on her clothes as she got back into the car. Wondering about money, she saw her wedding rings. Of course! She wore hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of jewelry. She just needed to sell some.
How does one sell jewelry? And where?
Back on the interstate, Claire decided to take Highway 155 South to Highway 55. That wasn’t a good decision, Highway 55 traveled slowly. When she finally reached Highway 55 the signs said: to Springfield and to St. Louis. It had been so long since she actually made decisions. She was lightheaded with independence or perhaps hunger.
Time passed. The sun started to fade and dusk loomed on the horizon. The loss of sunlight produced a similar effect on Claire’s mind. Her lightheadedness dissolved into reality. She knew without a doubt she needed to turn around. Tony would be upset and there would be a punishment: a consequence for this action, but she couldn’t keep going. First, she needed cash. Second, what would the press say? Tony wouldn’t be happy if her leaving became public. Trepidation filled every ounce of her being as she watched for a place to turn around. According to the sign, there was another exit two miles ahead.
Suddenly, questions swirled through her mind. Was there enough gas to get home? What will Tony do? Whatever punishment he chose, Claire decided she deserved. She’d been impulsive and broken his rules. The small break was exhilarating, but it was time to face the consequences. There wasn’t another choice. If she had her cell phone, she would’ve called and told him she was on her way home. She planned to beg for his forgiveness and plead temporary, impulsive stupidity.
Lost in thought, she didn’t see the flashing lights until they were directly behind her. Once she noticed them, Claire assumed they’d pass. She wasn’t speeding, but the police car didn’t pass. Did Tony send them after her? How did they find her? Pulling over, she remembered the GPS. Had she really thought she could go unmonitored? She appeared casual as the policeman approached her window.
“Ma’am, please show me your registration, proof of insurance, and driver’s license.”
“Officer, I believe I left my purse at home, by mistake. I can show you the registration and proof of insurance.” She handed him the documents from the glove compartment.
“Ma’am, your name p
lease?” The officer asked, while reading the registration and insurance card.
“My name? My name is Claire, Claire Rawlings.”
Handing her back the registration and insurance card, the officer said, “Ma’am, I need you to get out of your car.”
Claire didn’t want to get out of the car. She wanted to go home. Her decision was made, and she needed to get home, soon. “Officer, was I speeding?”
“Ma’am, get out of the car, now.” The policeman stared at her as he mumbled into his shoulder.
“Officer, I’m in a hurry. I don’t have my purse, but I do have this watch. Perhaps your wife would like a very nice diamond watch.” She was desperate to return to Iowa, to Tony but not in a police car.
Retrieving his gun from its holster, the police officer repeated his demand. “Mrs. Rawlings, I need you to get out of the car, and keep your hands where I can see them.” Holding his gun in one hand, he leaned toward her door. “Unlock your door. I’ll open it. Let me see your hands.”
Claire couldn’t believe this was happening. She just wanted a moment of freedom, and this policeman was treating her like a criminal. Had Tony accused her of stealing his car? That didn’t seem like Tony. He wouldn’t want the public scandal.
Claire unlocked the door and swung her legs out. Officer Friendly roughly grabbed her wrist and pulled, handcuffing her wrists behind her back. It made her shoulders and wrists ache. “What are you doing? Why are you doing this? I didn’t steal this car. It belongs to my husband. I have every right to drive it!”
The Consequences Series Box Set Page 48