“Shallem’s detachment grew worse, his absences more prolonged. It grew harder for us to pull him out of his introspections, to bring him back to us. Until then, the only visible symptom of my soul’s illness was the dizzy spells I would suffer. However, the internal symptoms were devastating and I could sense Shallem grieved because my soul was sick but he never mentioned it. Cannat blamed me in spite of the fact that he himself appeased my crazy demands. In spite of the fact that he, at times, provoked them. Seeing how much Shallem suffered, he decided to stop my frenzy. It was impossible for me to control my impulses and no matter how long or hard I begged and cried, Cannat refused to give in to me. My unbridled pace of life slowed down and I had to take full advantage of the bodies I received and live in them much longer. I constantly had to mask my impulses and outbursts in front of Shallem because I feared he would suffer when he found out what I was unintentionally becoming.”
–VII–
“Our lives went on like this and we finally reached the end of the nineteenth century. In 1890, Cannat and I were left alone for a few days because my son Leger was having some problems that required his father’s attention.
“Many years had gone by since that frightening time in Florence when Cannat had been forced to care for me. However ridiculous it may sound and however much it shames me to admit, I now felt like Cannat and I were very similar. So much so, that the idea of spending unsupervised time together made me very happy. We were going to have so much fun together! It had been too long since he scared or surprised me. Now I desired his company as I would have desired a mortal friend’s company years before. It didn’t bother him to spend a few days alone with me either. He had never suspected I would become such a mischievous and fun pet, even more so than Shallem. And that’s because Shallem was no longer interested in his horrendous crimes. He never went hunting with him, nor did he complacently listen to Cannat’s gruesome and detailed descriptions of his massacres. At times, he even recriminated Cannat for some of his acts that, to him, were caused by mere boredom.
“ ‘That may be so,’ Cannat would respond irritated. ‘But it’s still fun.’
“While we were alone for those few days, Cannat asked me if I wanted to go have fun like angels do. If Shallem had been there, he would have never dared ask, nor would I have dared accept. But Shallem wasn’t there.
“I remember that summer day perfectly. At that time, we were living in Vienna. We lived in a luxurious little house in the center of the city and close to the Vienna State Opera. Once in a while, the three of us would watch performances together. We loved Strauss’s music the most. We dressed very elegantly and because of this, we were always noticed and received multiple invitations to parties from the nobles who filled the theater. We accepted their invitations merely for the pleasure of dancing on polished floors beneath enormous chandeliers inside palaces on the banks of the beautiful blue Danube. If fact, during those years we must have danced to all of Strauss’s four hundred and seventy-nine waltzes. But going to high society parties meant we had to mix with humans, expose ourselves to their company, to their tiresome chitchat. Since we wanted to avoid that, we preferred to remain anonymous by going to public dance halls even though we weren’t surrounded by pomp and splendor. Shallem and I would dance waltz after waltz, until we were the only couple left on the dance floor. Meanwhile, Cannat would search the ballroom for a little lady with whom to spend the night. If she were single, he would court her and then leave with her; if she were married, he would seduce her more discreetly and wait for her instructions.
“I was telling you about what happened the night Cannat and I went out alone. First, we went dancing in a ballroom close the Kursalon Palace. Dancing with Cannat was like floating in the perfect fantasy, sinking into a dreamlike stupor you never wanted to end. I opened my eyes and saw both men and women whispering about us. The women were sending him suggestive and giddy looks, while the men admired me. All of this made me feel uncomfortable; I didn’t want to be the center of attention. I just wanted mortals to stay in the background; I wanted them to treat us as if we were ghosts they couldn’t see nor hear. Evidently, this was impossible when dancing in the arms of an angel.
“We left the dance early and drove our noisy car down the Ringstrasse beneath the star studded Venetian sky. We parked it on the banks of the Danube and walked the steep steps that led to the Saint Stephen’s Cathedral. Around the cathedral there were, and still are, a great number of taverns where you could go sample soups made from the latest harvest or drink beer, if you preferred. We both ordered wine and sat outside at a small table so we could watch the Danube. Everything was so peaceful, too peaceful. Only a small group of five young men, drinking beer at a table next to ours, filled the night with noise.
“I’m sure you already know that the fun Cannat had proposed had little to do with dancing waltzes or visiting dirty taverns. I knew I was going to witness death that night.
“Cannat was staring at the five men. Four of them were dressed poorly, so poorly you couldn’t help but feel sorry for them. However, the fifth man seemed to come from a higher social class, his manners were more refined and his way of speaking more educated. Undoubtedly, they considered themselves to be the new intellectuals of the era. They seemed oblivious to everything that didn’t have to do with their discussion on how to reform the world. The young men were too fragile and innocent to satiate Cannat’s hunger for violence and challenge. Excited, I watched him and wondered what he was planning to do.
“ ‘This place is boring,’ he said looking at me. ‘Let’s go look for some fun elsewhere.’ He threw a few coins on the table and helped me stand. We were about to go look for a more populated tavern when something unexpected happened. We heard music coming from one of the boats docked on the banks of the river.
“ ‘It sounds like a party,’ I commented.
“ ‘It is a party, Miss.’ The elegant young man interjected speaking French just as I had. He stood and approached us. ‘It’s my birthday party and I would be delighted if a beautiful lady and gentleman from abroad would be so kind as to accompany me to such a monotonous, childish and embarrassing event. By your appearance, I can tell you are well travelled. It would be infinitely more interesting to talk with you than with my present company. Would you do me the honor of joining me on my little boat; that is, if you don’t have other plans?’
“Cannat received the unexpected invitation with a smile. I didn’t want to be around anyone except Cannat so I begrudgingly took his hand and we all walked to the boat together. I remember how the young man had drawn Cannat into a conversation on Austrian politics. I was completely shocked that Cannat was so well-informed. Where did he get all that information? Nothing human that did not directly relate to pleasure or fun, interested him. He probably got all of his knowledge by reading peoples’ minds. He behaved just like the impassioned young man; he spoke with the same fanatic fervor and perfectly imitated the prim and proper manners of that era.
“The boat was full of people of all ages and classes. They enthusiastically greeted the young man who had introduced himself as Otto Adler. We quickly lost sight of him in the crowd; he seemed to be a well liked and sought after person.
“I felt lost and out of place among those rowdy humans. Many years had passed since I had felt the need to socialize with humans; I was no longer accustomed to being around them and I squeezed myself against Cannat.
“ ‘I want to leave. I hate being here,’ I told him. ‘I hate being around these foreigners.’
“He smiled and put his arms around me.
“ ‘Put up with it for a while and you’ll see,’ he whispered in my ear and then guided me toward a quiet place near the stern of the boat where people wouldn’t crowd around us.
“ ‘You think you’ve seen everything? he said smiling mischievously. ‘You think there’s nothing else I can do to surprise you?’
“I smiled at him and anxiously wondered what he was scheming. The crowd’s in
sufferable uproar was as irritating as the noises of a modern day discotheque. It seemed like it would never cease. Suddenly, something so extraordinary started to happen that everyone on the boat grew silent with amazement.
“The boat was rising out of the water. The guests were astounded. They couldn’t believe what was happening and not one dared to say a word. We rose very slowly, without swaying, smoothly. Not one person moved but the liquid in drinks slightly oscillated. However, and due to the darkness of night, the tenuous sensation we felt upon rising could have been mistaken for some sort of illusion.
“My back was firmly pressed against Cannat and I gripped his arms which he had wrapped around me. I slightly turned my head and saw his small sharp canines. The expression on his beautiful face was savage, he looked like a charming beast. He smiled at me and held me tight, as if I were a little puppy he was trying to protect from certain danger.
“Men and women started screaming hysterically when they noticed how high we were. Beneath us, lights from windows shone and then all we saw were rooftops. Cannat’s spectacle of horror made my heart pound frantically. Cups and vases began rolling on the floor, hurled from serving trays by distraught waiters. A few men stumbled and fell overboard into the Danube whose course we followed some twenty meters from above. We continued ascending. Although we were gliding calmly through the air, people grabbed onto flagstaffs and any other seemingly firm object on deck. Screams of ‘God!’ ‘My God, have mercy!’ ‘Forgive us!’ turned into a mournful litany. Behind me, I felt Cannat’s chest rise as he laughed silently. Only he and I remained calm and quiet as we watched the universal behavior which panic triggered in humans. Above the lawless shouting and from somewhere within the crowd, we heard Otto Adler’s voice calling for order and quiet. His voice drew my attention so I looked for him. Suddenly, I saw him, ranting and raving, as he gripped the mainmast while standing on a barrel.
“Cannat, with me in his arms, turned around so we could see what we were leaving behind. We no longer floated over the riverbed; we were now sailing across the dark countryside, which was sprinkled with lights from the houses scattered beneath us.
“Ten minutes later, the screams had almost completely died down. Most of the women were lying on the deck, praying and crying, hoarse and exhausted. Many men were still desperately clinging to the rigging and the useless helm, sweaty and also whispering their prayers as their lives flashed before their eyes; some of the brave ones gripped the side of the boat and looked overboard toward the ground.
“My heart beat wildly from excitement. I wondered what the humans were feeling; I wondered who they thought had created that miracle.
“ ‘Faster, Cannat, faster!’ I said maliciously since the mortal’s screams of terror had ended. ‘Can you go faster?’
“Of course he could and our velocity gradually increased. Once again, people shrieked uncontrollably. Some of the men who had been looking over the side of the boat were startled and fell to the ground. One desperate woman threw herself overboard. The hoarse screams of the people around me, their indescribable expressions of pure terror, knowing I was the only mortal onboard that understood what had caused the supernatural event, my rising excitement; all of this drove me to shriek with elation and my screams surpassed all other voices. I didn’t scream from terror nor because those around me were suffering; I screamed because I thought it would be fun to create a false sense of unity with the humans around me whose panic I myself had felt and whose terrified faces gave me such gross amusement.
“ ‘Faster! Faster!’ I screamed again. I was enthralled by the speed and excited by the panic around me. When we sped up, I started shrieking again and pulled at my hair like a mad woman. I looked at Shallem and laughed with evil pleasure. He also laughed and, understanding my game, began screaming uncontrollably as if he himself were filled with terror. We were behaving like a couple of kids screaming with delight while riding a roller coaster.
“ ‘Faster Cannat!’ I yelled in the midst of my screams. ‘More! More!’
“Suddenly, the ship reached a velocity no human would have thought possible. At first, I saw human bodies flying over our heads. Then, it grew completely dark; as if the earth, the moon and the stars themselves had disappeared. Everything known was concentrated in that invisible boat during its vertiginous voyage across the universe. My senses were dazed; it was impossible to think. Nevertheless, I kept screaming or trying to scream: ‘Yes, that’s it! Like that!’
“I’m not sure how long we kept that speed but it didn’t last long enough for me. Then, the boat began to slow, somewhat too abruptly for my mortal body. Soon I saw pale, bright rays of light. They slowly acquired an elliptical shape and then turned circular and resplendent: it was the Moon and it once again illuminated the dark night.
“When we had slowed down enough, I looked overboard to see where we were. Extending infinitely in all directions were small mountains of sand. That was all I could see.
“We stopped moving completely and floated above a sea of dunes. I tried to catch my breath. It was absolutely quiet. Very few people had managed to stay onboard and those that had still clutched the rigging with their arms and legs. They didn’t even dare lift their faces. Cannat and I were the only ones that remained standing.
“The sails were torn to pure shreds. In fact, it was hard to tell that those hanging rags had ever been sails. The foremast, just like the topmast, had been torn from their anchors. The jiggermast had crushed two women when it fell.
“I started to laugh. It was a hysterical and sinful laughter. Cannat held my hand and starting walking, all the while avoiding the rigging scattered across the deck. He stopped next to a bloody body. It lifted its head when it sensed our presence and mumbled some incomprehensible words.
“ ‘What a charming party, Herr Adler. Very unique.’ Cannat joked in his most cheeky and jubilant voice. ‘But I’m afraid we have to say good-bye now. So much commotion has exhausted us.’
“Suddenly, I realized my feet were longer touching the boat’s deck; or rather, the boat had disappeared beneath my feet and Cannat held me in his arms. I saw the boat fall and embed itself within the desert’s soft sand. Otto Adler and the few others who hadn’t died during the trip were entombed in that barren wilderness never to be discovered again. Or perhaps they would be discovered.
“I was enthralled. I may have continued laughing uncontrollably but I don’t remember.
“ ‘Did I meet your expectations?’ Cannat asked me.
“ ‘You’ve exceeded them,’ I answered in a hoarse voice, my cheeks burning with excitement. I was so proud of him.”
The woman was silent. Father DiCaprio seemed unsettled.
“But, during those moments..., you didn’t feel anything for the humans who died?” he asked.
She shrugged her shoulders and made a slight face.
“Nothing,” she answered. “I felt absolutely nothing. But when I thought about it later, I felt somewhat ashamed. After all, they were just poor innocent people who hadn’t hurt anyone. It was then that I felt bad for Otto and his friends.”
“Did you both go back to Vienna after the boat ride?”
“Yes. We went straight home. We had had enough. However, our fun continued the following night.”
“I don’t want to hear...” The priest started to say, wiping his forehead with his handkerchief.
“You don’t want to hear it? Well I’m sorry but it’s your obligation. Isn’t it? We didn’t have any set plans for the following night. All we needed to do was take a carriage to where we had parked our car the night before. It was too far away for us to walk, as you would know if you had ever visited the city. Don’t worry, we didn’t kill the coachman. Actually, it would have been much easier if no one had died that night. All we wanted to do was take a simple ride beneath the cool night sky since, as I already mentioned, it was summer and the heat was relentless during the day. But destiny had other plans.
“As soon as we arrived, four
guys were trying to destroy our old car.”
“Oh no!” the priest exclaimed. “Cannat killed them immediately.”
“No. I’m afraid not. They were arrogant and since some of them were carrying pistols, they decided to confront Cannat.”
“Which, no doubt, pleased him,” the priest ventured.
“Not especially. Cannat thought firearms were boring. You understand? However, he was truly enraged when he saw how they had destroyed our property. It wasn’t time for fun, it was time for punishment. I think he would have just killed them quickly and cleanly if things had happened differently. A fifth delinquent emerged from the shadows and approached me from behind. He grabbed me and held the point of a knife against my neck. He was so nervous he squeezed too tight and made the knife sink into my skin. I uttered a scream and blood began pouring from my neck. I was truly afraid. Two of the men were pointing their guns at Cannat.
“ ‘Your money, your watch, and your jewelry, mister, if you don’t want to get hurt.’ The youngest thief threatened Cannat and the other three extremely ugly rapscallions burst out in laughter. However, Cannat had turned toward me and had his eyes fixed on my trembling attacker. I was almost in tears when he suddenly let me go and the knife fell to the ground.
“ ‘Johann! What are you doing? Have you gone crazy?’ Said the same young man who had addressed Cannat. He must have been the leader of the group.
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