Chapter Seventeen
יז
I will call upon the Lord,
who is worthy to be praised: so shall
I be saved from mine enemies.
Psalm 18:3
Mara lingered nervously at the well, empty pitcher in hand and eyes watching hopefully for Tobiah. She had almost decided he wasn’t going to come when the slap of sandals against hard earth alerted her to his approach.
"You’re here," Tobiah said. "I was afraid you’d have already come and gone."
"I haven’t been waiting long," Mara lied. "You’ve arrived just in time."
"I’m glad I made it before you left," Tobiah said. "This morning alone, the king has already sent three messengers to the barracks with letters for David. I’ve been running back and forth with responses as fast as David could write them. I thought I might never get away to come and talk with you."
"I suppose the king is busy writing contracts and making plans for the betrothal ceremony," Mara said. "Will David’s family be coming from Bethlehem to participate?"
"I’m sure they will," Tobiah said. "But David isn’t looking forward to any of it. He loves Michal. He had his heart set on marrying her and is having a difficult time with all that’s happened."
"I’m sure David’s happiness isn’t exactly what Saul has in mind for him," Mara said. "His plans may be much darker."
"What do you mean?"
Mara was reluctant to say more, but Tobiah’s eyes were fixed upon her, and she finally had to speak.
"I don’t think David has told this to anybody, but I…I saw it happen. I watched Saul try to kill him."
Tobiah blanched.
"With a javelin," Mara quietly continued. "He’s jealous of David."
Tobiah’s brow lowered into an angry scowl, and his hand strayed to his sword’s hilt. Mara quickly reached out to place her own hand in a restraining gesture over his.
"Confronting Saul would be unwise," she said, her voice trembling. "It could get you imprisoned… Or worse. Promise me you won’t go near the king. Promise me not to get yourself killed."
Tobiah studied her in surprise. He looked down at her hand, which was still on his, and she self-consciously drew it away.
"I hear someone coming," she said, looking nervously over her shoulder. "We’re out of time. Will you meet me here tomorrow so we can talk again?"
Tobiah nodded, and she turned to leave; but he reached out to stop her.
"Your water. You’ve…forgotten to fill your pitcher."
"I’ll fill it at the citadel."
"I’ll be here tomorrow. Early. And don’t worry. I won’t confront Saul. Not yet."
It was the last two words that worried her. Words like those could get them both killed.
—
He felt like he was floating. Just being near Mara filled Tobiah with an exhilarating warmth. Yet the feeling was tainted by other – darker – things that were happening.
"Do you have any messages for me to deliver?"
David looked listless, tired, and miserable.
"No."
"What about the daily report? Do you want me to deliver it to Abner and the king?"
"No."
It was even worse today than yesterday when Saul first made the announcement. David would be married to Merab. Not the princess he truly loved. Tobiah wished there were some way he could help.
"So you have nothing for me to do today?" Tobiah asked again.
This time David didn’t even bother to say no. He simply shook his head and continued to stare at his feet as he paced from one end of the barracks to the other. Tobiah was beginning to think David would never speak again when his cousin came to an abrupt halt and faced him.
"I need you to stay near me," David said. "For the next few weeks I won’t be sending you away on any big assignments. Jonathan tells me the king will be sending us to fight the Philistines."
"The Philistines? They’re back?"
David nodded.
"Jonathan has received reports of Philistine incursions into the Shephelah. Our forces guarding Elah are being strengthened. All the other major east to west valleys are being guarded as well. Jonathan thinks the king will probably send our thousand to guard one of those valleys. My service against the Philistines is the bride price for Merab. I feel guilty."
"Guilty? Why?"
"Because I want to fight so poorly Saul refuses to let me marry his daughter."
Tobiah smiled. Some of David’s natural sense of humor was returning. At least he hoped it was humor.
"I’m sure something will work out for you," Tobiah said. "With the Saul and Merab situation, I mean. The Lord knows your heart’s desires. He won’t let this happen if it will make you unhappy for the rest of your life."
"Unhappiness is sometimes a choice we make," David said. "We can find happiness in the worst circumstances if we trust in the Lord. If it’s Merab God wants me to marry, I should accept His will regardless of what I want."
He was struggling to believe his own words. This was obvious by the next thing he said.
"Have you ever been so consumed with thoughts of a certain person," he said, "that your life seemed like it would be empty if she wasn’t by your side to share it with you?"
"I…I don’t know that I’ve ever experienced anything like that," Tobiah lied. "But I’m sure it would be a wonderful feeling."
"It is," David said. "Both wonderful and bitter. That’s the way I felt…the way I feel about Michal. I know I don’t really know her yet. I’ve only spoken with her a few short times, but my heart continually dwells on her. I’ve tried to eliminate those feelings, but I just can’t get her out of my mind."
Tobiah pondered whether or not he should tell David that Michal felt the same way about him. He would have wanted to know. But he worried – the same way Mara worried about Michal – that such knowledge would only make David more miserable.
"I’m sorry," was all Tobiah could think to say. "I wish Saul would have offered you a choice between his daughters. Probably because Merab is the oldest…" He stopped and shook his head. What could he really say to bring comfort?
Despite Tobiah’s woeful inadequacy, David cast him a sad, appreciative smile. Then he straightened his shoulders and transformed himself — outwardly at least — into the David who was captain over a thousand soldiers.
"I need to get the troops onto the practice field," he said. "We need to be at our best when the king sends us out against our enemies. Find my officers and tell them to assemble the soldiers."
Tobiah nodded and gave a crisp salute.
They were going to war. War changed things. Maybe it would change things for David.
—
One morning meeting at the well turned into two, two into three, and three transformed into a meeting every morning. It became a risky, thrilling routine for Mara and Tobiah to find each other and stroll to the town’s outskirts where they could walk together and talk unseen. It surprised Mara how quickly she had come to feel comfortable in Tobiah’s presence. It was almost as though she’d found the one true friend she’d been searching for all her life. She lived for each new morning when she would have the opportunity to see him again. It was the only part of each day when she was completely happy, when she felt completely alive.
She sat beside Tobiah on a low stone wall, watching the sun edge above the eastern horizon and bathe the hilltops in its warm yellow glow. She could hear faint sounds announcing the city was waking. Merchants were delivering their wares to their booths. Farmers’ carts, laden with food for the market, were rattling up Gibeah’s narrow streets. But all Mara cared about was she was with Tobiah. Even if only for a few moments each morning, she had a chance to do what she wanted and forget about Michal and life as a lowly maidservant.
"It’s beautiful, isn’t it," Mara said.
"What’s beautiful?"
"Morning," Mara replied. "I never realized how beautiful early morning can be. Not until I started going on
these walks with you."
A big grin split Tobiah’s face.
"You should have been born a shepherd," he said. "You would have gotten more than your fill of early morning walks."
"You don’t like walking with me?"
"I didn’t say that. I’m just saying there are more times than I can count when I would rather have slept a few extra hours than lead a flock of sheep into the hills."
"But it’s so quiet this time of day. So peaceful. I don’t know how you could resist it."
"There are certain parts of the morning I can’t resist," Tobiah admitted, staring at her until she blushed. "And I must admit I much prefer your company over the company of my father’s sheep."
Mara laughed, and the grin on Tobiah’s face widened. He reached out to take her hand in his, and she felt warm at his touch.
"What you’re telling me then," Mara said, "is you’d rather be a soldier in the king’s army than a shepherd in Bethlehem."
"Yes, that pretty much sums it up. And, although I’m technically not a real soldier, I haven’t regretted my decision for a moment."
"I’m glad you’re still just a courier. I’d hate to think of going into battle. I’m sure your parents must feel the same."
Tobiah rolled his eyes. Mara frowned and gave him a gentle shove.
"What?" she demanded. "Why are you rolling your eyes at me?"
"It’s not you I’m rolling my eyes at," he replied. "It’s… Well, if you knew my mother and how she feels about me being here, you’d know exactly why I’m rolling my eyes."
"She doesn’t want you to be a soldier?"
"That’s an understatement. Words don’t even begin to describe how deeply she’s opposed to it. If she had her way, I’d be married to some shepherd’s daughter, stuck in the hills with a flock of sheep at my side until I’m old and gray and halfway in the grave. I want to serve God and my people, but she makes me feel like I’m breaking the Law of Moses – like I’m dishonoring her – by doing it."
"Your desires are righteous," Mara said. "I don’t think you’re breaking any of God’s commandments as long as you’re pursuing the path God shows you. If you feel at peace with the decision you’ve made, it seems to me God must not be opposed to it. But there’s still the commandment to honor your parents. It’s a difficult position to be in."
Tobiah nodded and stared at the horizon.
"Very difficult," he said. "I want to honor them. I really do. But sometimes I don’t know where I’m crossing the line or where they’re crossing it. My mother disapproves of my interpretation of the Law. Her way is always right and my way is always wrong. That’s all there is to it. But I don’t see how I could be completely under God’s condemnation. If I were, I don’t think He would have allowed me to meet you."
Mara blushed and Tobiah grinned again. He seemed to delight in embarrassing her with his compliments; and, although she would never admit it, she delighted in receiving them.
"So what about you?" he said after a moment. "What are your hearts desires? Do you enjoy serving Michal? Or do you have other plans for your life?"
Mara fell silent. It was easy to talk to Tobiah – to share her thoughts and feelings with him – but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to open up this part of her heart. When she finally answered, her words weren’t really an answer at all.
"I’ve been serving Michal for as long as I can remember," she said. "I became her maidservant when I was ten, and I was her official playmate even earlier. I don’t know what I’d do if I weren’t serving her. I suppose it’s best for me to remain in her service."
"But you’re not planning to be a maidservant forever, are you? Don’t you ever want to be married? To have children?"
"Of course I do," Mara replied. "But…but I don’t know if such a thing will ever actually happen. To my father, there’s nothing more important than service to the king’s family – not even marriage. It’s not like he’s ever tried very hard to find me a husband. And he still hasn’t forgiven Ayalah for what she did."
"Ayalah?"
"My older sister. She met a soldier. His name is Josiah. They spent time together in secret and eventually went to my father to ask his permission to marry. He refused, and she had to run away with Josiah to Hebron. It was her only choice if she wanted to be his wife."
A funny look entered Tobiah’s eyes. At that moment, Mara realized how much they had in common.
"It sounds as if you, too, will one day have to deal with the issue of ‘honoring your father and your mother,’" Tobiah said. "If you plan to choose your own husband your father will probably stand in the way. You’ll have to decide just how far you’re able to go without breaking the Law of Moses."
"Yes." Mara weakly nodded. "I suppose you’re right. It’s an issue I’ll definitely have to face."
"How old are you?" Tobiah unexpectedly asked.
"What?"
"I’m just wondering how old you are."
"Almost seventeen."
"That means we’re about the same age. And, more importantly, it means you’ll be of age to choose your own husband — if you want — in less than two years from now."
"Yes."
Tobiah looked as if he’d learned something very important.
"Then maybe it’s a blessing to you and…and to whoever you choose to marry…that your father hasn’t made the decision for you already."
He stared thoughtfully at the hilltops and a moment later turned back to Mara.
"I’ll need to be getting back to the barracks soon. The troops will be preparing for morning drills and, if David doesn’t need me to run messages to Saul or Abner, I’ll be training with them."
"I should probably be getting back to the citadel," Mara said. "Michal has been sleeping later than usual because she’s so upset. But she’ll be even more upset if she wakes and doesn’t find me there."
"It’s a crime Saul offered Michal instead of Merab to David," Tobiah muttered. "Love shouldn’t be thwarted like that."
"No. But I think someone was bound to be unhappy no matter what Saul decided."
"What do you mean?"
"I think Merab feels just as strongly about David as Michal does. One of them can’t get what she wants without the other being hurt. There will be one or more broken hearts either way."
"Life is complicated." Tobiah frowned and shook his head. "I hate how complicated it is."
"Yes. It’s very complicated. Too complicated sometimes."
Tobiah hopped down from the low wall, put his hands around Mara’s waist, and swung her to the ground beside him. Quietly – reluctantly – they head back into the city.
—
When Tobiah returned to the barracks, things weren’t as he had left them. When he departed, the soldiers had been quietly going about their usual morning tasks – polishing weapons, inspecting armor, eating a light breakfast. But things were dramatically different now. The barracks reminded him of a stirred up beehive. Tobiah dodged around moving soldiers, searching uneasily for David. Finally, he spotted a soldier whose name he knew, and stopped to ask what was causing the commotion.
"Joash… What’s happening? Is the kingdom under attack?"
Joash stopped and stared at Tobiah.
"Haven’t you heard?" he asked. "The king is sending David’s thousand to the Shephelah. He wants us to depart immediately."
"Just David’s thousand? No one else?"
Joash nodded. "We’re to go to a place near Beth-shemesh where our spies spotted a small band of Philistines. Saul wants us to be there in case they launch an attack."
A shiver traveled up Tobiah’s spine. Maybe it was because this news had come so unexpectedly, but he sensed something wasn’t right.
"You say the Philistine numbers are small? There won’t be many of them?"
Joash grinned and slapped Tobiah on the shoulder.
"Nervous?" he asked. "Don’t worry. You’ll most likely stay back with the supply wagons. It will only be the real soldiers who find t
hemselves in any actual danger."
Tobiah felt his face grow warm. He opened his mouth to explain fear had nothing to do with his questions, but Joash was already leaving.
"You need to let David know you’re here," Joash called back as he briskly moved away. "He’s been looking everywhere for you."
Flustered, Tobiah threaded his way through the moving maze of soldiers. He kept moving until he found David, at the epicenter of everything, directing his soldiers. David saw Tobiah immediately, stopped what he was doing, and called out to him with a strained, slightly annoyed voice.
"Tobiah! Where have you been?"
"I…I was at the well."
David scowled and said, "I have a special job for you. Find Abda, keeper of the carriage, and he’ll explain. I suppose you’ve heard? Saul is sending us to the Shephelah."
"That’s what I was told," Tobiah replied. "And when we get there, you and I need to talk, David. I received some disturbing news recently. It was about you."
David furrowed his brow, but a junior officer rushed up and diverted his attention before Tobiah could say more. Reluctantly, Tobiah trotted away to find Abda.
The stables and supply house were no less busy than the barracks. Abda was standing atop a donkey cart, barking out orders. If the barracks could be compared to a swarming beehive, the supply house was more like an anthill.
Abda’s men, moving in orderly columns, came in and out of the building bearing large bundles of arrows, stacks of swords, and baskets of hastily prepared foodstuffs. Abda saw Tobiah, smiled, and motioned for him to approach the cart. Unlike David, the shomer ha-kelim – the keeper of the carriage – didn’t seem a bit stressed by the feverish activity going on around him. Obviously he’d been through this before.
"You’re Tobiah, right? David has assigned you to help with the supply caravan."
"Supply caravan?"
For a moment, Tobiah was confused. Then insulted. David was putting him at the back of the army – as far away from the action as possible. But he considered the alternative – being left entirely behind – and grudgingly realized this was better.
"Let me introduce you to Micah," Abda said. "He’ll be the supply officer for David’s army. You’ll help him with the wagons whenever David doesn’t need you for delivering messages."
A Captain in Israel Page 14