CHAPTER 8
Jeremy’s POV
It was nice to be home with my Bastet pride. There was just no place in the world like the Amazon. I had held several private and public meetings with my pride so that everyone was brought up to date. I wanted my people to be vigilant and keep their eyes out for anything odd or out of the ordinary.
I knew that Elder Grier and the people who were helping him were still out there somewhere. I had a bad feeling my contact with him was far from over. Of course, because of everything that happened, I had several messes to clean up when I arrived home. Many of my pride members were disappointed that I no longer had a mate. My parents however only cared about the fact that Renalda had kept our cubs with her. My mom cried for hours.
The unmated females of my pride however welcomed me back with warm open arms. Many expressed how pleased they were that I was no longer blood bonded to Renalda. They also made it very clear they were happy to keep my hut and bed warm, I but needed to ask.
Many of the younger females would quietly tell me that they could help me and my heart to move past the loss of my blood mate. I would smile and say maybe later. They didn't know the truth, but I did. It wasn't Renalda that consumed my thoughts and had torn out my heart; it was my true mate Laura.
I wish I could tell someone the truth but I'm not sure they would really understand. So much happened in Africa and I was never going to be the same. Laura changed me. Laura's wolf floats through my mind and keeps pleasant dreams from coming my way. It's always Laura's amazing eyes and soft skin that fills my mind with visions and my body with lust.
All I thought of was Laura. It hurt so much to know that she found me unworthy. It hurt more than I could ever say way words to know Laura thought I was a womanizer. Once, so very long ago she would have been right. Now however Laura couldn't be more wrong. I had eyes for one woman only. It felt like ages ago when I was a randy male cat. I used to adore the attention of multiple females within my pride. I can clearly recall my dislike of the idea of a single female mate.
I remember when the elders explained that once I blood bond with Renalda that I would never again want another female unless the bond was broken. At the time I thought that a terrible price to pay for children. Now I realized it had nothing to do with babes. Renalda was never meant to be my mate. That's why the idea of being with her was so distasteful. I was born to be with Laura and she was born to be with me. Honestly to me it doesn't matter that Laura and I never bonded. Since the moment I looked into her eyes, I knew I would never again want any woman but Laura.
Just thinking about my true mate made my body taunt and my heart rate increase. I growled deep and low and realized that I was growing restless yet again and decided to go out for a swim. I shifted into my tiger and made my way out of the camp into the jungle. I had one destination in mind. With any luck the icy water from the waterfall would help me to clear my mind and settle my spirit. I burst through the brush and came to a complete stop at the side of the small but steep cliff side. I looked over at the water pouring off the opposite side and splashing down into the river below. I felt myself smile with pleasure.
The water in the falls was a good ten degrees cooler than the water below. It got that way because the river ran mostly underground through the mountains until it broke free and cascaded to the riverbed below. I intended to leap forward and throw myself into the current and ride the refreshingly cool water to the riverbed below. I dove forward and felt my body slam into the hard charging water. If I could have whooped in my cat form I would say that I did. I felt my body shift and flop around as I gained momentum and splashed into the river. I was tossed and turned and even pulled under then I pushed with all four paws and surged to the surface.
The moment my head burst above the water I shifted into my human form and rolled onto my back and started to float. I found myself looking into the crystal blue sky and imaging different objects in the puffy white clouds above. For the first time in well over a month my soul suddenly felt calm and at peace. I felt the world had come into alignment and that everything was as it should be. I heard the birds squawking and the monkeys chattering in a distance. Despite the calm I still wanted to make sure that I worked my muscles hard so that I just might be exhausted enough for sleep tonight. I rolled over and dove under water. I bounced in and out of the water as I pushed my body to swim hard and fast against the rivers current.
Laura's POV
I planned on leaving the Amazon later today but my soul was particularly restless and I just needed to run off some steam. I was enduring a constant pain just short of agony since Jeremy left me in Africa. I knew the pain was from our forced separation. My wolf and I were having a very hard time being away from Jeremy. As a vampire hybrid my soul wanted desperately to blend with that of my beloved and become one. I've been told by my siblings and mother that it was the most amazing and wonderful feeling. It was something more, something that went beyond the physical into the spiritual.
I also learned that once we met our mate, if they rejected us or for some unknown reason or they were unable to blood with us that eventually it would cause severe mental pain. Usually the pain only happens if half a bond is created. I'd never shared my blood with Jeremy and he'd never shared his with me so technically this shouldn't be happening. But technicalities aside I was mentally falling apart.
My soul ached night and day with unrequited love. It wasn't Jeremy's fault however. No it was my own fault that Jeremy rejected me. I was more than awful to my beloved. I abused his emotions over and over again. Of course Jeremy reached the end of his rope. My wolf and I forced him to reject me. I knew that my behavior towards him had been inexcusable and I prayed daily that Jeremy would give me a chance to make it right.
Rena and Micah nagged at me to try and work it out with him. I never thought Jeremy would forgive me but I had to try. I sent several Bastet on my behalf to his Bastet pride requesting permission to speak with him. Each time they came back and said he declined and also offered no safe passage. I even offered to come to his pride with the purpose of sharing my blood with his pride members. It turns out my blood and the blood of my hybrid siblings was the cure for the Bastet's degrading DNA. Often after ingesting just a small bit of my blood the Bastet would become fertile, significantly healthier and there would be a reduction in their visible age. Despite my best attempts Jeremy declined he wouldn't even let me help his pride.
Thus far it was having a very positive effect on Rena's Amazonian Bastet Pride. Many members of Rena's pride were healthier and several appeared to become fertile. It might not be that long before other new cubs were born. Even the promise of that miracle however, was not enough for him to be willing to see me. He still declined. My soul was tired and understood that we were being rejected. It hurt; in fact it crushed our spirit. We were broken and I knew I would live what was left of my life as a miserable lost being. I also knew that somehow my soul would find a way off this plain and into the next.
While I may be impervious to the normal ways a vampire and a werewolf die, somehow my soul knew we could and would die of a broken heart. I was running at full speed through the jungle. I was zigging and zagging to avoid slamming at full force into a tree. I had no destination in mind. I just ran for the sake of running. I was going deeper and deeper into the jungle. It was as if something was guiding my every step. I nearly collided with several large trees but still I couldn't seem to stop myself or even slow my steps. I burst out of a particularly dense foliage and nearly propelled myself off the side of a large cliff.
That's when I spotted him. My mate Jeremy was bobbing in and out of the water swimming against the current. I saw his perfectly formed backside cresting the top of the water then slipping back under as he swam against the tide. My jaw went slack, my mouth became devoid of moisture and my heart slammed against my rib cage. I stopped dead in my tracks. I quickly turned and was about to slink back into the dense jungle when Jeremy looked up and saw me. I was so stunned I t
hink I stopped breathing for a moment. Then, I heard his deep demanding voice call my name.
CHAPTER 9
Jeremy’s POV
I should have known that Laura was nearby. I should have figured it out the second my soul got calm and peaceful. The only time my soul every seemed to settle down these days was when Laura was nearby. I looked up at her and she froze in her tracks. I didn't want her to move but, I knew she would turn and run back to the safety of Renalda’s pride.
It was the right thing for her to do. We were like oil and water. We just didn't seem to mix. Even knowing this, I couldn't stop myself from calling her name out. I was so torn between wanting Laura and not wanting her. It was safer for us to stay away from each other. As long as we didn’t blood bond we were both capable of living happy separate lives.
Laura sent several envoys over the past month to my camp requesting entrance. I had my beta Chase decline them all. Oh I wanted desperately to see Laura, but I knew it was best if we didn’t. Things in my little corner of the world just continue to go topsy turvey. I’ve spoken at length to Renalda and her mate Micah about what my best options were. With Renalda now the queen of Bastet and the memories of all our kings and queens of the past running through her mind she is now the most intellectually wise person I know.
We debated everything from raising our cubs, to managing prides to finding our true mates. My cat and I both know Laura is my one and only true mate. For my soul and my cat to ever be truly happy we need to have Laura in our lives. Laura is the only person I ever want to be intimate with again. I want her face to be the first thing I see when I wake in the morning and the last thing I see when I go to bed at night.
Renalda however says the timing is not right. Laura is still carrying around a lot of baggage from our past. Laura hasn’t gotten over my intimacy with Renalda and Laura's wolf still believes I am the enemy. Despite all of the proof Laura’s wolf hasn’t quite wrapped herself around the fact that Laura and I are not just a beloved vampire couple we are true mates. If I was to mate and bond with her now her beast would never accept mine and we would be at each others throats forever.
Under the council of Rena and her mate Micah, I decided it would be best to wait until Laura has more time to heal and think things through more clearly. For that reason, we eventually decided to secretly treat my people in Renalda’s camp. Unbeknownst to Rena my entire pride with the exception of myself and a few of my high ranking Bastet had already sat through a blood transfusion with Laura. Laura's blood really is a miracle. My pride mates have never been happier or healthier. With any luck soon many of our females will have cubs swelling in their tummies.
I however am miserable most of the time. I am no different than other beloved couples. My soul knows its mate exists it start to calls for Laura day and night, over and over again. My brain and my soul are on two different pages. My soul thinks Laura and my separation means we've been rejected and as a result it causing both me and Laura horrific and unbearable pain. Thankfully we are not blooded or the lack of response would eventually drive us insane. As it is I ache and burn for her so badly that every so often I just need to get close to her just so I can breathe and think.
When I’d first left Laura in Africa and came home I turned into a useless mess. I couldn’t eat, think or run my pride. All I did all day every day was long for Laura. To keep this from happening again to Laura or myself Micah created a solution. Basically, whenever my soul aches or becomes restless, I sneak close to Renalda's amp and allow my soul to feel Laura's presence. Micah occupies Laura and teases her playfully so that her soul too is in a good place. My occasional visits are just enough for mine to find a little peace.
Recently however, Laura's been talking about moving on to another Bastet Pride. Laura feels as if she's already helped everyone she can in this area and wants to go to other parts of the world and help them. Renalda and Micah have tried everything they can think of to convince her otherwise. Since they have run out of stories I knew it was just a matter of time before I would have to have contact with her myself.
There was no way that I could let her leave the Amazon. I needed her like lungs needed air to breath and hearts need blood to pump. I couldn’t possibly live my life without Laura. I needed to figure out a way to keep Laura close by. Even if Laura is still not ready to be with me. I know my best chance of ever having Laura get over the past was to keep her in close proximity.
“Laura”
Laura turned and glanced down at me. I saw her cheeks flame red and I realized a second too late that I was nude. It was just my luck! It seems that I am always nude or doing something wrong in her eyes. I could see her judging me yet again. I took a deep breath and covered myself with my hands. I smiled tentatively and said
“Don’t leave. I was just swimming. I’m sorry. I would dress, but I came here in my cat form.”
I struggled and sputtered trying to find words. I could tell she was ready to take off. My soul was vibrating with need and my cat was trying to scratch itself out of me. I had seconds to convince her to stay or I just knew I would lose her forever.
“I need you Laura. We need to find a way to make us better. Please don’t leave. Give me a chance.”
I looked up at her trying to beg her with my eyes as much as my words. I felt my soul flutter as I watched her step closer to the ledge. She smiled down at me and pulled her top off and tossed it over the side to me. Then she smiled again at me before she removed her shoes and shorts. I shook my head trying to figure out if I was imagining all of this. I wondered if I had slammed my head against a rock and was really drowning at the bottom of the river. Then I got scared and actually checked my mental wall. Nope, all was good not dreaming and not being manipulated. I looked back up and took in the sight of my beautiful mate standing in nothing but a pale pink bra and panties combo. I couldn't help but think how absolutely amazing Laura looked. I felt my mouth go dry and my heart kick into overdrive when Laura shouted down to me
“Use my shorts to cover yourself, they stretch. Is it safe to dive from here?”
I nodded then added while I pointed across to the waterfall.
“Yes, I jumped from there too. Aim for the falls, it’s a fantastic ride.”
Then I quickly grabbed for her hot pink shorts and pulled them over my thighs. Laura was right they did stretch. By the time I looked up again my mate was in a full swan dive towards the falls. In the next moment Laura's body was splashing down in the water just a few feet from me. I watched Laura's head crest the top of the water. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting. The truth is I was afraid to say or do anything in case she changed her mind or things just somehow went bad. So I stayed still and held my breath while Laura slowly made her way towards me. She was within touching distance when she said in a soft gentle voice
“Hi there. I’m Laura, I’m a vampire hybrid and you’re my beloved. I know sometimes my wolf and I are both asses, but you are the most important person in the world to us. Any chance you can forgive me enough to try and get to know each other?”
CHAPTER 10
Laura's POV
I dove into the water without really knowing why or what was going to happen. Jeremy's words were reverberating over and over in my mind. Jeremy said he needed me and wanted to make it better, give us a chance. His words spurred me into action. I landed with a splash and immediately rose to the surface. My heart was slamming against my rib cage. I was thigh high in water, my mouth was dry and my tongue felt like it was too fat to move.
I could see the curiosity and confusion on Jeremy's face as I slowly made my way closer to him. What was I supposed to say? Should I try to apologize again? I wish I could just start all over again. Then again why can’t I? What did I really know of my beloved? Nothing! That’s what. In all honestly he knew little to nothing of me as well. So why not? I reached him and smiled my best smile and made a stupid comment about getting to know each other. I watched a small tentative smile cross Jeremy's face. He blinked then
nodded his head. Jeremy's mouth opened and I watched as his tongue slipped between his lips and he wet them just a little before saying
“Laura, I don’t know where to start but I want us to work. I already know that you are the only woman for me. I hate that we’ve gotten off to such a bad start. I will try anything. I mean. I will do anything to make this work for us.”
I could tell Jeremy was being sincere and I could clearly read his pain in every word he spoke. Our separation had been hard on him just as it had been on me. Suddenly my heart ached to comfort Jeremy. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and take the pain away. I watched his tongue dart out again and moisten his lips before he spoke again
“Just tell me what you need me to do. I swear to God Laura, I will do it. I can’t imagine living my life without you. Please don’t make me try.”
Each word Jeremy spoke caused immense and horrific anguish to blast through my soul, causing more pain than I had ever felt before. It was like shards of glass tearing holes into my very being. Then I realized the agony and suffering wasn’t actually mine it was Jeremy’s my beloveds. With that knowledge also came the understanding that I was the cause of his torment. It was my stupidity and my wolf’s inane pride that was at fault. I swallowed hard. I tried to form words in my head, but each time I thought I might have the right thing to say I would realize it was wrong. I looked into Jeremy's face and I knew he was barely breathing, on pins and needles waiting for me to say something. Anything that would indicate I wanted to try as much as he did. I swallowed several times, licked my lips and even cleared my throat before I was finally able to force words past my lips
Shredded Bonds, a Blood Ties Novel, Book 4 Page 5