Gulls flock as skies grow clear
Baleen bars encage me
Seaweed clots my veins
Bound by leagues of pressure
The bends upon me brains
Seahorses’ coralled wonders
Plankton and watery graves
Locked up with Davey Johns, tangled in the reef
Ship wreckage built this prison
Deep beneath the rip
WE WILDLINGS
We merry few
We band of brothers
We plunderers and naïfs
We’ve gazed from tall peaks and wondered
What’s our new campaign?
We ride the wind
We crush, and kill
We slake ‘till bellies full
We break the wind
We crush, and pillage
We take from foreign soils
We wild things
We bestial thieves
We conquering devourers
We’ve marched on bones, taken spoils
We’ve violated temples
We rape the wind
We crush, and kill
We’re marauding avengers
We tame the wind
We crush, and pillage
We’ve seized the throne from Caesar
We cannibals
We n’ere-do-wells
We un-adulterated fodder
We’ve sucked the marrow from our foes
We’re poisoning the udders
We halt the wind
We crush, and sin
We are such ghastly beings
Masticating
Intoxicating
We are the wildlings
THE GAMBLER
Can’t shake the shakes
I roll the dice and I feel my boots quake
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-ooh-ooh
I taste the taste
And I want more, but I don’t know why
No-no-wha-ooh-oh-ooh-ooh
Enough never seems that much
Until you really got enough
To bet it all on red or black
Then you’re more in the hole
Than you could ever know
And a wall’s pressed to your back
Throw in your cards
Stroll from the table
There goes forth, walks the gambler
He strut’s the strut
But, left his ace at home
Uh-o-wha-ooh-oh-ooh-uhh
He takes the take
I got a straight
Bet so do you-oh-oo-ooh-woo-woo-woo
Enough never seems that much
Until you really got enough
To bet it all on red or black
Then you’re more in the hole
Than you could ever know
And a wall’s pressed to your back
Throw in your cards
Stroll from the table
There goes forth, walks the gambler
Yeeee!
Walk on!
He flops the nut
But I got a suicide king
A-ring-a-ding-ding-ring-a-ding-ooh
All in or bust
He grins a grin that I don’t trust
No-no-ooh-oh-ooh-ooh
Enough never seems that much
Until you’ve got a royal flush
And bet it all on just one hand
Then you will understand
What really breaks a man
Is pride
Not money or lust
Enough never seems that much
Until you really got enough
To bet it all on red or black
Then you’re more in the hole
Than you could ever know
And a wall’s pressed to your back
Throw in your cards
Stroll from the table
There goes forth, walks the gambler
Throw in your cards
Stroll from the table
There goes forth, walks the gambler
I’d bet it all
That’s the gambler
THE HOUSE THAT MAD BUILT
I once dreamed I was lost
And lost, I came upon the castle
And inside the castle, was a festering cesspool of life
And within that life, creatures began to churn
In disbelief, I rubbed my eyes and looked again
I entered with the utmost of trepidation
The foyer was a multi-platformed lobby
Slot-machines all stacked in neat lines and rows
People littered the place
‘Though few of them played
Most just kept on their wheelings and dealings
Comings and goings
I felt lost among them and yet, right at home
They wanted me to work here, live here, be here
Against fierce protests and better judgment, I went to work
Work for the castle, work for the home
I traversed through the mansion
Clambering to the tops of tall peaks
Going room by room by room
As I made my rounds of maintenance
Walking eternally
I crossed cold cobblestones and mortar
Feeling blindly along my way
There was a white, three-eyed turtle
White as snow with tiny sparkling flecks
That glistened like diamond gems
And the turtle spoke to me
Wondering, “how do you do,” and, “where are you going?”
But his words were small and vague
So I pressed on
The towers were spiraling tall and wide
Enough to blot out the sun
And as I made my way upward
There she was
Her face white and pale
Not white like snow, but something more grave
I tried to escape
Dashing over to an open window
I looked down from the ledge
Many miles below me were tall snowcapped mountain steppes
Layered thick with fog
I thought to myself, how can this be?
That I am up so high now, when before me, so low?’
I weighed out my options
Knowing now, no way back
So I leapt off the ledge
I expected to get that sensation of falling
You know, like when you descend down a roller coaster
And you can feel those butterflies
Fluttering and tingly all about your insides
But that didn’t happen
Instead, it was pleasant
Like a kind of soft floating
And I rushed toward the Earth
Plummeting like a feather
The ground came faster than expected
And I exploded into the dirt, like a bright burning comet
I was out, I was free
Or so it had seemed
Until I looked around and saw the tall fenced-in lots
Grey concrete slabs sectioned off by cold steel
Wire, razor barbs
I made my way along the muddy rubbish and rubble
Slithering like a snake, laughing as a loon
Trailing her scent, I found my way home
There were two fat ol’, good ol’ boys
And I asked them, if I was on acid
They cackled and said, “Take a look at your eyes”
So I did
I turned around and I could see myself
My head a huge cartoon balloon
My eyes big, bulging, and wild
Spiraling orbs of yellow and blue
The orbs turned inward
And once again I was me
I shut my eyes tightly, while clicking my heels
I opened my eyes
And again I was home
I entered the castle
This time the foyer was a grand ol’ appliance store
Washers, dryers
and range stove-top hoods
Elegantly placed out and at the ready
Ready to buy, sell with Stockholm syndrome and bondage hardcore
I meandered the mansion
Clambering to the tops of tall peaks
Going from room to room to room
Now I know I am home here
In this castle, tall
I live here, I work here
And God willing, I’ll die here
I’m stuck here, trapped
As I roam listlessly down the halls
Going room by room by room
I feel right at home here
This is my home
This is my home
This is my…
II
INNER COSMIC ERUDITION
IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GREAT B(looming) SHROOM
I’ve sat here, sat here sitting for quite some time now. Perched. Perched and set for some time, indeed. Just waiting. Waiting with nothing else to do but make useless conversations with myself and the others. My friends. Yes, I can see it all so clearly now. Can see them so clearly now. There they are, perched and set. Old Tim Leary and Hunter S, ensnared within the cross stitching of my living room couch. Yes, yes, and Lazlo, he’s there, too. Oh yes, I can see it all through the bombastic borealis of light and color. The room has begun blooming like a fiery jungle flower. The walls, ceiling, and floor flow in rhythmic waves. Blooming. Blooming. Not sure, maybe just my narcissism, but could it be looming? I hear voices all around me. Spots of light in the peripherals of my hindsight that always seem to disappear suspiciously when searched for. Narcissism. Narcissism, I say. Getting ready now, ready for self-realization. Can the seductiveness of inner-vision be made possible under such looming? This looming. This humungous fucking shroom. Narcissism. Oh well, smoke another. Smoke another and get ready to find yourself within yourself. But still, always looming…looming…looming…
UNDONE
The terror is quiet clear
I’m trapped in this nightmare
And I’m not waking up this time
So lost and all alone
The isolation’s taken hold
It’s wrapped around my mind
And I feel I’m shaking violently
It’s time
Alive
Please hole me
I feel like I could die
I writhe
Deep inside
Please hold me before I come undone
All this time
I felt this hunger uncontrollably
Teeth inside my maw
Begin to drip and salivate
Skin is shedding, ripping, tearing
And I can’t see
What I have become
And what will become of me
Phasing
Once again
Please hold me
I feel like I can’t stand
To breathe the air around me
This change is so unique
Fallen
All alone
Please hold me before I lose control
I feel this change coursing through me
Shifting just beneath my skin
You call my name three times to challenge the monster
And still, I feel the man inside fading further still
Fading
Once again
Please hold me
I feel the walls are caving in
Transcend to the end
Please hold on tightly
I’m falling yet again
Deep inside, within
This endless dream sequence
So solemn
All alone
Please hold me before I lose control
Run away before I lose control
So solemn and alone here in the dark
Broken down and desperate
I feel that from here there’s just no going on
I’m so lost without you
Now here I stand
So broken hearted
It all fell apart
Just like wilting flowers
Now I think I know
Just what I’ve become
Please hold me
I fear I’ve come un…
DEPRESSION IN D MINOR
Depressed here
Slinking low
As a scolded child
My dove says
She doesn't care
What I need or want
Brooding here
Stewing here
In miasmic air
It's a wonder
I've not choke to death
The garrote clinches around my neck
Dead-man walking here
I fell as low as bed-bugs
Beneath the furniture
What does love want?
I don't know
And still pondering
Cerebrating
Lucubrating
Self-inquiring
In drug dreams dreary
I've walked among the dead
I felt more welcomed there
Than I do here
Don't admire this
No admonishments
There's no beauty here
Death is not a doorway
Just a prison cell
Erudition
Navigation
Lost among gales
Across tides
Pitch as black
Circumnavigating Hell
Depressed here
And thusly here
I spun a gossamer shell
One day to emerge
And gorge upon myself
RHYME TIME (Pt. 1)
Seven-six-three
The goose drank anti-freeze
The monkey hung himself
From a great, big maple-tree
The branch broke
That monkey done choked
And they all went to Hell
In a little row-boat
THE FLY
Well, all right now -- Yeah!
I am a fly, I am a fly
I feast on rotting shit
I am alive ‘though not inside
And I’m all right with it
I am a fly up in the sky so high I cannot touch the ground
I am alive although I’ll die one day and decompose back in the ground
Festering with worms in holes and baby, so will you
So come dance the dance while you still can because you know it’s true
I am the grass, I am the stone, I am your grandpa’s rotting bones
I am remised, I am denied, I am the ancient wheel of time
‘Cause if everything is, then simply everything is
And there ain’t no way gettin’ round all this
So don’t waste your life on remedial strives
When there ain’t no time to procrastinate -- but I deviate!
I am a fly upon your eye you try to swat away
Maggots and bones and sticks and stones, and that’s all that I have to say
I buzz around these fecal mounds which we have claimed our own
Lay eggs inside, and say, “Bye-bye”, and on and on I roam
I am the dirt, I am un-birth, I am the bitter end
I am the sun, I am the moon, I am the winter wind
‘Cause if everything is, then simply everything is
And there ain’t no way gettin’ round all this
So just pay no mind to the rot on the rind
When there ain’t no time to hesitate -- come now elevate!
I am a fly, I am a fly
I live by eating death
I bore inside and squirm with life
And then I make you sick
I am a fly, I am a fly
And I don’t have a clue
That I’m alive but not inside
And baby, so are you
I am the sea, I am the tides, I am the twinkling starlit skies
I am the trees, I am the birds, I
sing the songs that go unheard
I am the blood, I am the soul, I rest upon a broken throne
I am disease, I am release, I am the fall of ancient Thebes
‘Cause if everything is, then simply everything is
And there ain’t no way gettin’ round all this
So just live your life the way it was designed
And don’t hesitate…
‘Cause if everything is, then simply everything is
And there ain’t no way gettin’ round all this
So don’t waste your life on remedial strives
When there ain’t no time to procrastinate
‘Cause there ain’t no time to procrastinate
No, there ain’t no time to procrastinate -- but I deviate!
SONIC DEATH RIDE
Supersonic death ride
Hydraulic chronic tastes fine
Megalithic pillars in the sky
It’s a pocket rocket test drive
Constellations rise in these widened eyes
Flowing faster through all space and time
Terrestrial movement in astral disguise
It’s a supersonic death ride!
Supersonic death ride
Flows tonic like wine
Corporal form, no! Never mind
Time to kick this into hyper-drive
Solar, solo on a perma-trip
Ain’t never gonna come back from this
Flying high, acid skies materialize
It’s a supersonic death ride!
I can see forever and beyond, all at once
And it was me
Looking down upon all the universe
With gripping feats of astronomity
Dimensions shutter and open deep within my mind
It’s a supersonic megalithic death ride!
WELCOME TO THE WARD (SHOCK THERAPY)
These manic thoughts will not mend
Desperately clinging to the cornerstone
This passion, depression flows to no end
Feeding off of the undertow
Heeding to the voices not of my own
This grudge beckoning from deep inside of me
Unraveling all sense of self
Sanity, patience bores me so to death
Paranoid, bewildering
Welcome me home
Tedious work this race of shit
Followed through with lack of heart
Clones of drones
I cannot live my life like this
Wouldn’t you like to feel better?
Feel something, even for a little while
I've Always Been a Poet, 'Though I Didn't Always Know It Page 2