by Terri Reed
But that’s not the only reason you want her around, is it?
Johnny had never allowed himself to get this close to someone and for the first time, he was starting to understand the benefits of relationships far outweighed the potential downsides. If he could survive his mother’s drug overdose when he was twelve, he could survive anything.
“Let me see where my grandfather is.” Johnny checked the downstairs family room where Buddy normally watched TV, but his worn recliner was empty. Duke was nowhere to be seen, either. “Maybe he’s upstairs.”
“Oh, I hope we don’t disturb him if he’s gone to bed early.”
Ellie climbed the staircase and Johnny followed. The distinct clicking of Duke’s steps on the hardwood floor called his attention down the hall toward his mother’s old bedroom.
Johnny’s stomach pitched, the way it always did when his thoughts turned to his mother. He gently touched Ellie’s back, not quite sure how he felt about having Ellie go into his mother’s room. The room that until recently had been closed up.
Obviously sensing his unease, Ellie looked at him with a gaze that warmed his heart. “Why don’t you go say hello to your grandfather while I collect my things?” Ellie reached down and patted Duke’s head. The animal nuzzled his head into her leg. “Hey there, Duke. I’m going to miss you.”
“You going somewhere?”
Johnny turned around to find his grandfather standing in the doorway of his mother’s former bedroom. Johnny plastered on a smile even though his insides were rioting.
“What’s going on?”
His grandfather waved his hand. “Glad you’re here. I could use your help carrying these boxes downstairs.”
“You’re working late,” Johnny said.
“I got a second wind, I suppose.”
Ellie started to move toward the guest room to grab the things she had forgotten when his grandfather called out, “I could use your opinion, Ellie. If you don’t mind?”
Ellie met Johnny’s gaze and asked a silent, “Is it okay with you?”
Johnny took her hand and together they entered his mother’s room. In the time capsule of a bedroom, his grandfather had the closet opened wide, a few boxes on the floor and clothes spread over the bed.
His mother’s clothes.
“You’ve been busy,” Johnny said, trying to keep his tone even.
His grandfather nodded.
“We made a few arrests tonight.” Johnny squeezed Ellie’s hand.
His grandfather smiled, a hint of pride glinting in his eyes. “I knew you would.”
Johnny’s mouth slacked and he laughed. “You already know.”
“Living in a small town has its benefits.”
“Seriously? How?”
“One of my friends called. He had just picked up a sub down the street from Ellie’s gift shop.” He tipped his head toward Ellie. “He saw the commotion and one of the officers filled him in. Glad to know you’re okay. Both of you.”
“Thank you.” Ellie released Johnny’s hand and hugged her arms around her as if she were reliving tonight’s events.
Buddy waved his hand. “I don’t want to keep you. I’m sure Ellie wants to get home and put up her feet. She’s been through a lot. But I need her opinion real quick.”
“Sure.” A crease lined the fair skin of Ellie’s forehead.
“Do you think these clothes are appropriate to donate to the church? I know some people have hit hard times, but I don’t want to offend anyone by giving them junk.”
Ellie strolled over to the bed and fingered a jean jacket with beading around the front pockets. A memory slammed into Johnny: his mother’s smiling face pushing him on the tire swing in the yard, the sun reflecting off the shiny beads on her jacket.
He shook his head, trying to dismiss it. He had always assumed that was a dream. A vision of a mother he’d wished he had. “Was there a tire swing hanging from one of the trees in the yard?” He hoped his voice sounded calm even as his pulse raced in his ears as he waited for the answer.
A slow smile spread across his grandfather’s face. A light came into his eyes that Johnny hadn’t seen in a long time. “Yes.” He laughed. “You loved to swing. I had never heard a child giggle as much as you did when your mother pushed you on that swing.”
The soft touch of Ellie’s hand on Johnny’s arm brought his attention to her face. She smiled, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. He placed his hand over hers and squeezed.
“Your grandmother had the swing taken down after your mother took you away. She couldn’t bear to look at it.” Buddy inhaled deeply and held out his hand, obviously eager to change the subject.
“So, Ellie, do you think any of this stuff would be good for a family in need at the church?”
Ellie smiled. “Absolutely. Kids today love this stuff. What’s old is new again, right?” She touched a few more items. “Someone would be thrilled to receive these things. And if we can’t find a deserving home, we can always sell the items at our spring bazaar. All proceeds go to a women’s shelter.”
Johnny’s grandfather shook his head as if a decision had been made. “Great. Then perhaps, Johnny, you can help me carry the items to the garage for now.”
“Sure.” Johnny swallowed around a lump in his throat. Something shifted in his heart. Perhaps his grandfather’s willingness to move on had pushed him in the same direction.
Ellie patted his arm and he looked down at her. And Ellie certainly helped, too. “If it’s okay, I’ll run and grab my things.”
“Sure.”
Ellie turned and slipped out of the room. The golden retriever got to his feet and followed her out.
“I think Duke’s sweet on Ellie,” Buddy said, laughing and lifting a knowing eyebrow. “Don’t let that one go.”
“Ellie’s got a pretty independent streak. I don’t think she’s one to settle down.” He cleared his throat, staring at his mother’s clothes from a lifetime ago. “She’s been burned in the past…” Just when he realized he was spouting off every imaginable excuse as to why Ellie and he couldn’t have a future, he found his grandfather studying him with a strange expression on his face.
“You about done?” His grandfather picked up the jean jacket, cast it aside and sat on the edge of the bed. “You can’t keep living in the past. Your mother made her share of mistakes. I’ve made plenty of my own.” His mouth twisted into a wry grin. “Don’t you go and make the biggest mistake of your life.”
“I don’t—”
His grandfather lifted his hand, silencing him. “You’ve been chasing ghosts. Trying to rid the world of drug dealers, the kind of people who hurt your mom. You’ve done a great thing, but don’t let that be the only thing you live for. You need to live your life.”
A knot eased between Johnny’s shoulder blades. “When did you get so smart?”
Buddy looked up, a sadness deep in his eyes. “Age and experience. I’ve had a lot of alone time to sit and think.” He shook his head ruefully. “You don’t want to end up all alone.”
The clack of Duke’s nails on the hardwood took his attention to the open door.
Ellie slowed as she approached the doorway, as if she suspected she was intruding on a private conversation. “Um, are you ready to go?” she asked Johnny.
“Of course,” Johnny said, a little too forced, considering the heart-to-heart conversation he had just had with his grandfather.
“You have all your things now?” Buddy asked, gesturing with his chin to the items in her hand.
“Yes, I think so. Thank you so much for putting up with me.” Ellie crossed the room and extended her hand to his grandfather.
Buddy stood and pulled her into an embrace.
“Nice having you. Don’t be a stranger, okay?” His grandfather smiled. “Neither of you.”
Ellie stepped back and Buddy approached his grandson. He patted his cheek. “Remember what I said.”
Johnny nodded. When they reached the foyer, Ellie looked up at him.
“Are you all right? That had to be hard seeing all your mom’s things.”
Johnny blinked slowly and smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Really.” And he meant it.
Ellie angled her head in confusion before a slow smile crept across her pink lips. She leaned forward, hiding her eyes behind a veil of hair. “I better get home. Greg’s supposed to drop mom off. She stayed through the week at Grace’s request.”
*
“Is it really over for good this time?” Ellie unlocked the door to her childhood home.
“Seems that way.” Johnny stood behind her. Something about him seemed lighter. Perhaps it was the arrests of Roger and Tony or maybe it was the conversation with his grandfather. It was almost as if both Johnny and his grandfather had come to some sort of reconciliation regarding the past.
She pushed open the door and the musty smell of a closed-up house greeted her. “My mother will be happy to come home. I think staying at Greg’s was fun, for a while. But she enjoys her space.”
Johnny followed her into the kitchen.
Ellie grabbed a couple mugs out of the cabinet. “They should be here shortly. I appreciate your staying to talk to them. My brother’s going to have a hard time swallowing the news that his friend would be so stupid to get caught up in drugs again.”
“It’s not unheard of.”
“True.” She turned to face him. “Tea?”
“Why not?”
“I’m fine. I’m fine,” Ellie’s mother could be heard saying as she came through the back door. She dropped some grocery bags on the counter next to Ellie and sighed. “Ah, it’s great to be home.”
Greg followed her in with her suitcase. “Can I run this into your room, Mom?”
Their mother waved her hand. “It’s got wheels. I can manage.”
Greg braced his hands on the back of the chair in the kitchen. “Roger’s been arrested?”
“Yes,” Johnny said.
“Anyone else involved besides Tony?” Greg asked.
“He had gotten some kids involved with harassing Ellie, but other than that, I think we’ve put a dent in the drug trafficking business in Williamstown for a bit.”
“I really thought Roger had changed.” Greg slowly shook his head as if Roger’s failings were somehow his own.
Ellie playfully punched her older brother’s arm. He had always been the Golden Boy, even in her eyes. His confession had taken some of the shine off him, but she wanted more than anything to go back to the way things were. To make things right with the world. Perhaps that could never happen, not with all they’d been through, but they had to find a new normal.
Nancy Winters smiled at them both. “‘For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again.’” She extended the handle of her suitcase and rolled it across the worn linoleum floor. She pointed with her free hand at her son. “I’m proud of both of my children even when they fall.” She slowed and patted her son’s cheek. Ellie knew that Greg had confided in their mother over his past and she had obviously found a way to forgive him. Perhaps her age and faith had given her the ability to do so.
Nancy set the suitcase upright and wrapped her arms around Ellie. Ellie squeezed her back. “Feel good to be home, Mom?”
Her mom smiled. “It’ll be nice to sleep in my own bed.” Still hugging her daughter, her mother whispered in her ear. “I’m so very proud of you and how you’ve always handled yourself even under the most trying of times. I fear Dad and I may have let you get lost in the shuffle sometimes.”
Ellie blinked away the tears. “No, Mom. I know you guys loved me. You had your own difficulties to handle, too.”
Her mother cleared her throat. “Maybe you could use a little help around the shop.”
“That would be nice.” Ellie’s voice cracked.
“Love you.” Nancy gave her one more squeeze before letting her go. “I’m going to get settled in.” She shivered with a contented smile on her face. “Excuse me.” The wheels on her suitcase squeaked across the floor. She slowed in the doorway leading down the hall to her bedroom. “Lock up when you leave.”
“Okay, Mom,” Ellie said, feeling more settled than she had in a very long time. Ellie turned off the burner under the kettle. She was happy her mother had made peace with the situation and was ready to move on. Or at least have a good night’s sleep.
“Well,” Greg said, “I guess that’s my cue to leave.” He turned to Johnny. “I’m glad you got the bad guys. These kids don’t realize how dangerous drugs are. They think they’re invincible.” He shrugged. “I guess that was my problem. I had thought I could do no wrong and the lines between right and wrong got blurred.” His gaze shifted to Ellie. “I’m sorry I put you through all this. That I ruined your plans to go to college.”
Ellie didn’t say anything. She just leaned over and kissed her brother’s cheek. “Night. Make sure you give Grace a kiss good-night for me.”
“Will do.” Greg turned on his heel then turned back around. “Will I see you around, Johnny?”
Ellie felt her cheeks heat as she found herself waiting for the answer.
“My assignment here with the FBI is done, but I do plan to extend my vacation to help my grandfather with some projects around the house, especially now that he seems open to the idea.”
Greg looked as if he was going to say more, but didn’t. He pulled the door closed behind him and the kitchen suddenly felt very close.
Ellie rolled up on the balls of her feet. “Well, Agent Rock, thanks for keeping me safe.”
A lopsided grin curved his mouth. “The pleasure was all mine.” He stepped closer and cupped her cheek, running the pad of his thumb across her soft skin, leaving a trail of awareness in its wake.
“What are your plans now?” he asked, his voice gravelly.
“I guess it’s time I finally made a go of the shop. I have a few new ideas to turn things around.” Once Ashley had a few days to recover, Ellie’d have to talk to her business partner. Maybe it was time to go to a bank for money and not rely on friends. She was determined to prove she could make it on her own. Be independent.
Her feelings must have been plain on her face because Johnny asked, “What is it?” He stepped back, the smile slipping from his face.
“You’re a really nice guy…”
He frowned. “Is this the brush-off?” He lifted an eyebrow in a semiamused gesture, as if he couldn’t believe it.
She planted her hands on his solid forearms. “Don’t consider it a brush-off. I’m just looking for time.”
Johnny nodded slowly. “I understand.”
“And there is the issue of our jobs. You in Buffalo and me here in Williamstown.”
“You can always find an excuse.” His eyes lingered on hers.
Suddenly self-conscious, she dropped her hands from his arms and stepped back. “I know. But knowing that I can do something on my own is important to me. I need time.”
Johnny smiled and stepped closer, brushing a kiss across her lips. “I’ll be back,” he said in what she suspected was his best Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation. She smiled.
I’m counting on it.
The minute he closed the door, Ellie hoped she hadn’t just made the biggest mistake of her life.
EPILOGUE
Four months later…
Ellie lifted the canvas, placed it on the easel and stepped back. Six easels sat in two neat rows so that all of her clients for her first Get Out and Paint class could easily see the demonstration. In the front of her shop, she still carried a few gift items and greeting cards, but for the most part, she had transformed her run-of-the-mill gift shop into a fun, night-out destination for ladies, couples and even children’s parties.
A rap at the door called her attention. The guests weren’t supposed to arrive for fifteen more minutes. She had set out fruit and vegetable platters, refreshments and chocolate-chip cookies, sure to be a big hit with the teens from her church who were scheduled to paint tonight.
Ellie smoothed her h
ands down her apron and turned toward the door. Her heart stopped.
Johnny.
They had called each other a few times over the past few months to check in, but nothing more than that, and Ellie had begun to wonder if her quest for independence had been shortsighted.
Walking toward the door, Ellie did her best to keep her expression neutral. She had missed him. She turned the dead bolt in the door and opened it wide. A cold January wind whipped into the room.
Johnny stepped inside and stomped his snowy boots on the gray floor mat inside the door. “Looks like you’re having a party.” He stuck out his lower lip, feigning disappointment. “And I wasn’t invited.”
“Didn’t much think you’d like to travel from Buffalo on a snowy night to paint a sunset.” She placed her hand on her neck to cool her skin, which felt as if it was on fire despite the cold blast of winter air. Tilting her head, she couldn’t contain her smile. The expression “a sight for sore eyes” sprang to mind.
“A painting party?” His eyes brightened with curiosity. “So, you went and did it. You followed through with your plans to transform the shop.”
“Yes, yes, I did. People book painting parties,” she said, an air of pride filling her lungs. “I still have a small gift shop, but my focus is on these parties.”
Johnny walked slowly to the back of the shop and plucked a grape from the platter before popping it into his mouth. “Interesting.”
“Yeah, you’d be surprised how many people are willing to come out of their houses just to get away and do something creative.”
“Nice…” he said, nodding, a smile on his handsome face.
“I’m really enjoying painting more, too.”
“Bonus,” Johnny said, his brown eyes studying her, unnerving her.
“And…” She found herself rambling. “I’ve enrolled in some weekend classes on Saturday at the nearby college campus. They have a fantastic art education program. I’ve hired Kaylee to cover the shop. My mom offered to help, too.”
“Isn’t that what you hoped to do before—?”
“My plans got derailed.” Ellie nodded. “Just goes to show you, it’s never too late to figure out who you are.”