“Meaning what?”
I assumed a pose I’d seen many girls use before, dropping their weight onto a hip while planting a hand on the other, with one leg bent slightly back. It was a sassy stance, one that both invited and issued a challenge. In fact, I’d seen girls dressing down their cheating boyfriends outside classrooms employ it to great effect. I’d also observed them use it on other girls encroaching on their territory.
And now I was using it on Tobias with Valjean and the balcony crowd for an audience.
“Just be honest, Mat. You like me like this don’t you?”
“Wh—what?” He looked aghast but pointedly he wasn’t turning away, and he’d actually retreated a half step away from me.
“Isn’t that why you burnt my uniform?” I smiled maliciously up at him. “You want me dressed up as a girl for the rest of the day. Don’t you, Mat.”
“H—huh?”
“Shall we do something after class, Mat? Just the two of us, Mat?”
Tobias looked distressed. “Are you crazy? What the Hell is wrong with you?”
My anger was back in control, but something else was taking it place, and it wasn’t pretty. “There’s nothing wrong with me, Mat? I just want you to tell me the truth. I want you to tell me why you burnt my uniform, Mat.” I took a step closer to him and peered up at him through lidded eyes. “Isn’t it because you like me like this? I look just like a girl, Mat. Isn’t this what you’ve wanted for a long, long while?”
Tobias was turning dark red. “Stop it”
I edged a little closer and raised myself on tiptoes. “Why deny it, Mat?”
“I said, stop it!”
I whispered in a breathy voice, “Don’t you want to kiss me, Mat?”
I didn’t see it coming.
I should have, and yet I didn’t.
In hindsight, I believe I deserved it though at the time I certainly felt otherwise.
Tobias moved unexpectedly, and I simply wasn’t expecting the slap he delivered that made my ears ring and my right cheek smart so sharply it brought tears to my eyes. My emotions that had been burning away barely under control were doused in a heartbeat, leaving me cold and empty inside. Yet I didn’t fall or stagger. I remained standing, looking up at Tobias with a blank expression while he stared down at me in horror in the aftermath of realizing what he’d done.
In all the years we’d known each other, Tobias had never raised his hands at me, even when we’d had some loud disagreements, and the fact that he’d slapped me and not punched me was clearly not lost on him.
He hadn’t treated me like a guy.
He had treated me like a girl.
Befitting the situation, I reacted like a girl and silent tears rolled down my cheeks.
Tobias stumbled back and sagged against the guardrail beside the table, his eyes downcast while clutching at his left hand as though it possessed a life of its own.
Disturbing as the situation had become, it grew more acutely uncomfortable when I noticed that the balcony crowd had gone silent. Even more disturbing was the quiet, thoughtful look of contempt Monique Valjean directed at both Tobias and I. Yet she remained as silent as everyone else seated at the balcony, a distinctly unsettling response from her.
After a long while, Tobias broke the silence though his voice was barely stronger than a whisper.
“I was angry. I was infuriated. And I was disgusted.”
I swallowed hard but refrained from wiping away my tears that were quickly ebbing, though the emptiness inside me was slowly filling up with an unpleasant heartache. “Why?”
“Because despite everything you were saying, you actually looked like you were having fun,” he replied softly.
I stared at him, unable to believe what I was hearing, but it sparked a very real concern for me. What if I how felt on the inside wasn’t what I was showing to the world? Was it true that part of me was enjoying this? Was Tobias seeing something that I wasn’t when I looked at myself in the mirror? After all, there are two of us, the person we perceive ourselves to be and the person that other people see when they look at us.
A pang of fear stabbed the inside of my chest, and I hid it by clenching my hands and folding my arms even tighter under my breasts while I began to glare across at Tobias with steadily renewing anger.
“Bullshit,” I snapped harshly, fleetingly surprised by how low and menacing my girlish voice sounded. “That’s utter bullshit. Today has been the worst day of my life, and believe me when I say that because I do keep count.”
“The worst day, huh?” His tone rose a little yet overall his voice was as low as mine. “Then why did you do it? Why make it worse?”
“I had to do this. I have my reasons—reasons that I can’t talk to you about. But even so you didn’t need to mock me. And you didn’t need to recycle my uniform”—I reached up and touched my stinging cheek—“and you didn’t need to slap me either.”
“I’m sorry—okay, I’m sorry for slapping you. But you had it coming!”
I snarled at him. “If you were going to hit me, you could have punched me. You could have treated me like a guy.”
Tobias looked distraught. “That’s impossible,” he gasped. “I could never punch a girl—”
For a moment, I feared I would lose control of my anger, but I folded my arms and then took a number of deep breaths. When I felt a little calmer, I scowled at Tobias and said, “Then give me a good reason why I shouldn’t kick your ass.”
After staring at me for a short while, Tobias pushed away from the guardrail that had been supporting him with a faint scowl on his face. “I told you why I burnt your uniform. It made me sick watching you prance around—”
“Prance around? Are you serious? Is that what you think I’ve been doing?” I clenched my hands, feeling their tendons pop. “You have no idea what I’m going through, or what I’ve gone through. In fact, I’m having trouble believing it too—believing everything that’s happened to me—but that’s not the worst part.”
“What you’re going through? You have yourself to blame for that. I kept telling you this was a mistake but you didn’t listen.” He pointed at my chest. “You wanted a reason to dress up, well now you’ve got one. Now you get to spend the rest of the day as the very thing you complain about—looking like a girl!”
“You prick,” I hissed at him.
“Just be frekking honest,” he yelled at me, in contrast to moments ago, and I sensed his hot and palpable anger. “Be honest, Cass, and tell me that part of you wanted this.”
Despite the fury lidded within me, I was suddenly wary of Tobias and coldly realized that this was how girls felt when confronted by an angry, threatening male. I had been slapped by him once, but a punch would be much worse. Swallowing down the unease coating my anger, I denied his accusation. “No. I didn’t want this. I never wanted this.”
“That is bullshit.”
Tobias straightened and it made him look taller and more imposing, yet I held my ground and glared up at him with my arms firmly folded under my bust.
“For months—for months—you’ve been telling me how much you hate the way you look, and it’s been getting on my nerves. You constantly complain, just like a girl. And you’re constantly comparing yourself to me. I’m tired of hearing you whine about your appearance, and when you’re not whining your moping or sulking about it.”
“That’s not true—”
“Yes, it is,” he cut me off. “You know what? You need help. You need therapy. But deep down I think you want this, and today you got the chance and decided to go all out.” He took a menacing step toward me, and I almost backed away. “Look at you. Have you seen what you look like? You’re a freakin’ girl. Every bit of you. Shit, you’re even wearing makeup.”
“I am not a girl—”
“Why don’t we ask what other people think? Let’s hear their opinions?” Tobias waved his arms and called out to the students seated at nearby tables, watching in utter silence. “Hey, listen
up. Tell us what you think.” Pointing at me, he said, “Do you see a guy or a girl? Be honest. Don’t hold back.”
I started to tremble, not from anger but nervousness.
Tobias pointed to a nearby table and asked the three girls seated there, “Please, tell her what you think? Guy or girl?”
The girls looked at him, at each other, then at me. “Girl,” they muttered.
Tobias started to laugh and called out to the cafeteria crowd. “Raise your hands if you see a girl.”
He made a show of raising both his hands high in the air.
I looked around and saw the vast majority of students raise their hands, casting their vote.
When he looked back down at me, I could see anger on his face and yet I also saw distress.
“Just be honest,” he said, sounding as though pleading with me. “Just be honest with yourself.”
I shook my head at him. “I’m not a girl. I never was. I never will be, and I don’t want to be one. But you don’t understand or know how complicated my situation has become. You don’t know a bloody thing about me. And what’s worse is that I can’t even confide in you. I can’t talk to you about it!”
Suddenly my cheeks felt wet anew.
Tobias gaped at me. “What? You’re crying again? You’re turning on the waterworks? Jeezes, you really are a girl!”
I touched my cheeks, wondering why I was crying. “What the Hell?”
“I am sorry, Princess. I think this is the best course of action. I suggest a strategic withdrawal,” the ghost urged softly. “No man would threaten a woman in tears and Mister Praetor is clearly incensed.”
I looked down at my fingertips. “What did you do to me?”
“I believe the tears should offer you an adequate opportunity to retreat.”
“You’re making me cry again.”
“Princess, I urge you withdraw. There is no profit in this encounter—”
I swallowed hard, and then hissed, “Stop getting in my way.”
“But Princess—”
“Shut up…and stop getting in my way, you frekking ghost.”
“Princess….”
I looked up at Tobias, and in that moment I felt the passing of something important between us. “I really thought we were friends.”
I didn’t feel there was any point in denying that I had brought this situation upon me. I had made the choice to walk the path that led to this crossroads. I had tested him, taunted him, and tempted him to breaking point. In so doing, I had turned the page on our book, closing one chapter and opening a new one.
“But that was in the past,” I stated softly.
“We are friends. That’s why I’m telling you all this.”
“Friends don’t slap each other.”
Tobias clenched his left hand, but held it steady at his side. “You need help, Cass.”
“Help? No one can help me now. Least of all you,” I muttered bitterly, then swallowed hard before adding in a quiet voice, “But I am sorry for everything.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry for whining and complaining about myself. I’m sorry for giving you a hard time.” I stepped up to him. “And I’m sorry for tempting you.”
Unprepared for my approach, he shied back. “I wasn’t tempted by you—”
“But I’m not going to forgive you for recycling my uniform—you piece of shit!”
It was my turn to catch him off guard. I grabbed his shirt and drew back my right fist, delivering a punch aimed squarely at his jaw. Disappointingly, Tobias managed to block it with his left arm though the blow had him cry out in sharp pain.
“That’s for slapping me,” I yelled.
I chose to follow through, and delivered a second punch he wasn’t able to defend against, this time into his gut, and it succeeded in doubling him over.
“That’s for embarrassing me!”
I wasn’t done with him, and after grabbing his shoulders, I used my meager weight to keep him down while I kneed him in the chest as hard as I could.
“And that’s for burning my uniform!”
Tobias coughed hard and would have dropped to his knees had I not held him up for the finishing move that involved tossing him onto the table he and Valjean had been seated at, the latter though was already on her feet, having backed away a short distance.
“Princess, stop! You are hurting him.”
The ghost’s warning made me freeze.
It gave me the pause I needed to take stock and to realize what I was doing.
I’d climbed onto the table to pin Tobias down. I had one hand on his chest, and the other was clenched into a fist drawn back to deliver a punch to his head. Beneath me, Tobias clutched his midriff and struggled to breathe, and I looked down at the hand I was using to pin him down. It was small and feminine, yet it had struck hard enough to wind him, something that shouldn’t be possible unless the ghost had told me the truth about this body, because disregarding the changes to my physical appearance I was never this strong before, and though I welcomed the strength it also frightened me, and that fear chilled the anger that had driven me to violence mere moments ago.
“Princess—look out!”
Despite the warning, I failed to prevent Valjean from slamming a chair across my back. I cried out in pain, and fell off the table, landing on the balcony floor with a hard whump.
“My, oh my,” she chided me. “What a fierce little thing you turned out to be? I wonder? Is it the dress that brings out the beast in you?”
I looked up to see her regarding me with a wicked smile, and realized that she knew who I was.
“I never thought you would turn out to be such a vixen,” she remarked before slamming the chair down onto my head, but I succeeded in block it with my arms though the impact made me cry out loudly.
“You will regret hurting him,” she promised me.
She swung the chair down a third time, and I rolled away but again it struck my back, flattening me to the floor and unleashing a lancing pain through my crushed breasts that brought tears to my eyes.
“You will pay for hurting my family!”
In desperation, I rolled over to lash at her with my feet, but she brought the chair down over my legs, and I screamed in agony.
Someone cried out to call the teachers.
Someone else yelled for security.
And Tobias suddenly entered the fray. He pushed himself off the table and yelled at Valjean to stop, grabbing onto her as she readied herself to swing the chair down on me a fifth time.
“Cla—Monique—stop it! Monique!”
Holding onto her arms, he shook her hard enough that she dropped the chair.
Seeing the opportunity present itself, I scrambled to my feet and delivered a punch that would have made a pro-fighter proud, delivering it straight and true to Valjean’s chin. It felt like punching a wall and I gasped in pain as my fist connected with her jaw, but the sight of Valjean’s head snapping back and her body sailing free of Tobias’ hold was worth the agony.
Taken by surprise, Tobias stared at his suddenly empty arms, but I charged past him at Valjean who had landed against the balcony guardrail and now used it like boxer clinging to the ropes in an effort to remain on her feet.
“Bitch!” I screamed at her.
I would have punched her again had Tobias not grabbed me from behind and succeeded in pulling me away from her with a desperate strength.
“Stop it, Cass! Please—!”
While struggling against him, I heard a few girls crying out behind us.
“…someone call the teachers…!”
“…she’s crazy…!”
“…they’re all crazy…!”
“…let’s get out of here….”
With his arms tightly wrapped around me, Tobias was lifting me off my feet. “Jeezes, Cass!”
“Let—let go of me!”
Ahead of me, Valjean had recovered and was readying herself for round two. Pushing herself away from the guardrail, s
he lunged at me just as Tobias hoisted me up into the air. Thus supported, it allowed me to kick freely at her, and one of my feet connected with her head, knocking her aside. She hit the table with her torso, and then slumped to the ground and lay unconscious.
“Clari—!” Tobias yelled.
I despised her, but the sight of her unmoving on the ground struck me with fear. For a moment, I stopped struggling against Tobias, but in the next moment I bit his arm with my teeth.
Tobias cried out in pain and released me in a hurry, practically tossing me away.
I landed hard against table hurriedly vacated by the seated occupants, and then slumped to the balcony floor where I remained seated on my rump. Taking the chance to catch my breath, my gaze drifted over the ground and I noticed a piece of folded paper lying not far away. I only needed to read part of the printed message to recognize it for the note I’d refused to show Tobias back at the shoe lockers. He must have found it in my trouser pocket when he was busy burning my uniform, but why had he brought it to Valjean?
Tobias staggered over to the unconscious girl, and then knelt beside her.
“Clari—Monique. Monique, wake up. Monique!”
I watched him for a moment, then crawled over to the note and picked it up. When I looked at Tobias again, I saw him rousing Valjean with gentle pats to her cheeks. She moaned as though suffering a crippling migraine, and her eyelids fluttered open a few moments later.
The sight of him caring for her sickened me.
Using a table for support, I rose unsteadily to my feet and wiped at my lips, tasting blood in the process, and I noticed that during the scuffle I’d bit the inside of my mouth.
Tobias shifted Valjean’s body such that he cradled her head in his arm, and then scowled at me. “Jeezes, Cass! What is wrong with you? You could have killed her…?”
His voice trailed away as he grew visibly rigid, his face pale and his eyes wide as he stared not at my face but at my chest.
“…oh gods…,” he breathed out.
I felt a breeze brush bare skin, and looked down to see the buttons of my dress had snapped open. The white bra and my full rounded breasts were now on glorious display. To my eyes, they looked enormous though they were only Bee-cups, yet with the padding they pushed out the cups to their limit.
Gun Princess Royale: Awakening the Princess, Book One Page 26