After that, the conversation took a turn from lighthearted joking to storytelling. The entire squad was made up of volunteers who knew what they were going up against before they even sewed the special badge of their unit on their gear. Of the ten soldiers who had joined us in our battle against the plague of vampires, not including Albertini and his lieutenant, six had been affected personally in some way by some baddy in the world and had signed up because of it. Aside from Robby, two of the other men had had family members taken.
Rossi revealed to us that before her encounter with the werewolf left her sterile, she had indeed had a child while she was in her teens. The boy was only three when he was stolen from her parents' house in the middle of the night while Rossi was out at a party. When she returned home, she followed a blood trail to a clearing in the woods nearby. In the middle of the clearing, she found her son tied to a tree, his skin flayed into strips on his little body. Two creatures were chanting as they danced in circles. As Rossi watched in silent horror, one of the beings, a horrific version of what my new teammate referred to as Baba Yaga, reached out and pulled a chunk of flesh from the child, shoving the bloody mess into her mouth.
Rossi ran back to her house and called the police. By the time they made it to the scene, the child was gone and his blood was the only indication that he had ever been there. Rossi was arrested for murder, but acquitted after an excruciatingly long trial in which no evidence of her crime could be brought forth. As an escape, she joined the military and was recruited shortly after her graduation into the squad. She had encountered those creatures multiple times since that horrible night, but they kept escaping her grasp.
As Rossi was telling her story, I reached over and slipped my fingers into Felipe's. I had never had a child. I had always held out hope in the back of my mind that I would someday raise a family, even after I married a vampire. But after Steven turned me, sacrificing himself for me, my last hope died. When I woke up from the disastrous night, I knew any chance at a normal, suburban housewife-life was gone. Damn Russians, anyway.
Felipe squeezed my fingers, throwing a brief, but comforting smile my way as another of the soldiers shared his story. His smile remained firmly planted on his lips, but his eyebrows knitted and he cocked his head when he saw the faint tinge of pink coming to my eyes. I forced the corners of my mouth upward and looked at him bravely, not wanting to share such a ridiculous complaint with him, especially after hearing Rossi's tale of woe.
I turned my attention back to the storyteller and he took the hint, though he refused to release my hand until we made it back to the conference room. At that point, he wasn't given a choice as Bellini pulled him to the side for a brief discussion with the captain. I found my way to the ladies and settled down beside them.
The meeting dragged on for hours after that, with battle plans being drawn up and discarded, much like most of our pre-assault sessions. Finally, with the vampires mentally fatigued and cranky and the humans both mentally and physically exhausted, Bellini and Albertini agreed on an attack strategy and released us. Most of the humans headed to the dining room to eat before crashing, but Felipe grabbed my hand as I made to follow and dragged me in the opposite direction.
SIX
Felipe took a round-about way through the labyrinthine halls but we eventually came out to his room. He pulled me in and shut the door behind us. As I glanced around, I realized I'd never actually been in his room. He always met me or dropped me off at mine. It was cozy, and unlike me, he had made it his own. My room had a bed in one corner, a nightstand, a dresser, a desk, a bookcase, a picture, and a mirror. Somehow, Felipe crammed not only those items, but a La-Z-Boy, couch, and flat-screen television into it.
He settled onto the couch and dragged me down onto his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I snuggled into his chest. I buried my face into his neck and inhaled deeply. He smelled wonderful--a combination of aftershave (yes, vampires have to shave), soap, sweat, and this odd musty scent like you'd find in a library full of old books. I could hear his heart pounding rhythmically the barest of microseconds before the blood rushed through his veins under my cheek.
We sat just like that for awhile, neither of us moving aside from involuntary functions such as breathing. I drifted into a state of relaxation I had never known. Nothing existed outside of us, two beings tied together by circumstances and love, clinging to each other in the whirlwind that is life and death. We melted together in a way that was very strange to me, but amazing nonetheless. It was if our souls left our individual bodies and did a crazy dance that tangled them together with no hope of being parted. When they returned to their hosts, they returned together, somehow bridging the physical divide no matter how large it grew.
"Are you ready to tell me what's troubling you?"
I gasped as Felipe's breath warmed my ear. He spoke softly, gently, but it broke the trance I was in, much to my disappointment. I frowned and squirmed on his lap, avoiding his eyes. Inhaling deeply, I climbed off and settled onto the couch a half a foot away from him. He took my hand and held it tight, but did not move any closer. His eyes bore into me, wanting an answer but not wanting to force it.
I opened my mouth to speak several times, but could not find the right words to share my feelings. Finally, I gave up and shrugged. "It's stupid."
Now he turned to me, cupping my cheek in his hand. "Jane, darling, nothing you feel is stupid. Talk to me. Let me help."
I laughed and it came out bitter and resentful. "You can't help with this, Felipe."
"Why not?"
The look of determination in his eyes made me smile. He really, truly thought he could fix anything, be my knight in shining armor, make the world right again. I felt the corner of my smile turn down as reality set in. He may be able to fix a lot of things, but he couldn't fix this. I shook my head and looked at our hands, tears springing to my eyes once more.
"Jane, please." His voice was no longer strong and determined. He was begging. I looked up and met his eyes. I was hurting him by refusing to share my feelings with him. I cocked my head at him, perplexed. No one, not even Steven, had shown such a desire, a need to share even my deepest darkest secrets.
I waited a few more minutes, keeping my eyes locked on his, studying him. Sighing, I turned away to stare at the floor and mumbled, "I want a child."
I could tell by his silence that he was shocked. That definitely wasn't what he was expecting. I continued quickly, afraid of what he would say. "I know it's not possible, and I didn't mean that I wanted us to have one together, but it's something I always dreamed about growing up. I had a plan that by the age of twenty-five I'd be married with two kids and I'd be the perfect little housewife, baking cupcakes for the school bake sale, driving my kids to soccer in a mini-van, all the trappings of the ideal suburban life."
I realized I was babbling and probably scaring the crap out of him, but once it all started flowing, I couldn't shut up. "Somehow, that just never happened. I never found the right guy, and when I finally did find someone who could stand me, he turned out to be a vampire and couldn't give me children. I was happy with him, though, and it was ok. I knew deep down that later on, I'd remember that dream of being a mother, but I figured there were ways to make it happen. Then Russia... and, well, I guess now it's all over. I knew it was over when I found out Steven turned me, but it never really sank in. Not until today, when we were listening to Rossi. She had a child and lost him; now she can't have another. I never could have a child in the first place. It seems like a whole other sort of loss."
I was trembling and the tears were streaming. I didn't know why I was crying. It was a simple fact of life. Some people never had children and that was just the way of it. Felipe leaned over and kissed my cheek, his lips brushing away some of the salty, pink droplets flowing down my cheek. He nuzzled my neck and pulled me close to him, stroking my hair.
"I'm so sorry, Jane. I had no idea."
I could feel him struggling to find some words o
f comfort, something to make it all better. But there was nothing he could say, nothing he could do. This was a wound that would never fully heal. We snuggled close and sat in silence for awhile longer before he reached over and grabbed the remote off a side table that sat between the chair and the couch. He flipped through the channels until he found a decent movie and I pulled my feet up to curl up next to him.
A good half hour had passed before either of us spoke again. "Jane..."
I glanced up at him. His eyebrows were creased in thought, his lips pursed. "Hmm?"
He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to talk, then closed it again. His eyes darted back and forth, though he wasn't looking at anything in particular. I waited for him to continue.
"There are ways."
"Ways?"
"To have children as a vampire."
"What?" I sat up, my interest piqued beyond belief. "What do you mean 'ways'? I didn't think vampires could have children."
"I didn't mean have children, as in conceive. But there are vampires who have raised children."
"Why didn't you tell me this before?" I could feel the heat rising in my face and my blood beginning to boil.
"Because it is not common and is frowned upon in most situations. It has to be approved by the Head Council and that has only ever happened half a dozen times in the history of the world, two of them in the last fifty years."
"Well, tell me how."
He frowned, clearly irritated at himself for saying anything, but he shut off the television and turned to face me. "The first is to turn the child. That has only been done once, and the details surrounding it are very vague. The child was supposedly the daughter of a member of some royal family and she was very ill. Her father pleaded, begged, and promised and eventually the Head Council agreed. She was turned, but removed from his care and raised by a pair of vampires. Reports say she lived to be six hundred, though her body never grew beyond that of a five-year-old. She was caught out during a witch hunt in the early fifteenth century and burned alive."
My mouth dropped open in horror. "That's awful. They burned a child?"
He smiled a sad smile. "You have to remember that she wasn't really a child. She was a six-hundred-year-old vampire and it was the middle ages."
I didn't see that as a reason to kill her, but I let him move on.
"The second way is to adopt. That is the most common. As you know, vampires and humans can become very close. A few times, a human child has been left to a vampire couple upon the death of his or her parents. That is pre-approved by the council and only in situations where the humans are valuable allies to the vampire race. That was one of the cases I mentioned before. The other that happened in the last half-century was when a vampire, a male, found a two-year-old child in the basement of a house he had been sent to cleanse. He brought the kid back to his sanctuary and after much arguing and begging, he and his wife, another vampire at the sanctuary, were allowed to raise the child. The girl grew up in the sanctuary and joined a team that counsels those who have encountered vampires and need psychological help. On her thirtieth birthday, she was granted her request to be turned. She helps run one of the sanctuaries in America now."
I felt renewed hope grow inside me. "So, there is a chance--"
"No, Jane. Please, my love, do not do this to yourself. The chances are miniscule, at best."
"But there is a chance." I set my jaw and stared at Felipe, silently begging him to let me have this one hope.
"No, Jane. Have you read Interview with the Vampire?"
"Yes..."
"I don't know if Rice knows a vampire or if it was pure chance, but that story is very close to something that really happened. If a child is turned without permission, they are not given the proper training and can become dangerous. They are destroyed as soon as they are discovered."
"But.."
"Stop. Please. You cannot allow yourself to entertain this idea. I never should've brought it up."
I was ready to protest again, until I really thought about it. To turn a child would be to imprison someone in a miniature body for eternity. They would grow mentally, but never mature physically. Second, even if that child is given the choice, would they truly know the decision they were making? Only a fully grown adult could make such a life-changing move knowingly. The child might regret it for ever. I bit my lip, nodding slowly, then snuggled close to him.
He sighed, a frown set firmly upon his face, and pulled me close. He flipped the television back on and silence fell over us. We eventually fell asleep, he still angry with himself for even mentioning it, me with dreams of children dancing in my head.
SEVEN
Over the next few days, preparations were made to assault the seaside town that had been plagued by rogues. As the sun began to set on the sixth day with our new teammates, we all headed to the garage with our equipment. The soldiers would be taking the two vehicles they had arrived in. My team had acquired a new Humvee since the destruction of our second SUV. As soon as it arrived, Felipe had appropriated it, and I, being his girlfriend, was happy to ride shotgun.
We loaded up the vehicles with a huge assortment of artillery, medical kits, and anything else we thought we might possibly need to take back a town overflowing with vampires. Between the four vehicles, we spread flamethrowers, grenade launchers, machine guns, shotguns, pistols, flak jackets, helmets, mace, swords, and a Frisbee--Jax had hopes that we'd have some time to chill on the beach when the baddies were all gone.
As I climbed in beside Felipe, he smiled at me, but no warmth reached his eyes. They were filled with fear, and it scared the crap out of me. Before all the previous battles, I knew he was afraid but his eyes were always set with confidence and determination. This time, as I watched his nostrils flare while he stared out the window at the other vehicles being loaded up, he was afraid, the outcome of our assault uncertain.
Jax was talking to on of the soldiers at the back of the military transport when Felipe turned to me. "Jane, this could go very badly."
I nodded. I knew just how badly it could go.
"I don't just mean for us."
"I don't understand."
He stared out into the garage as if searching for the right words. "Joe told you that Donna was missing, right?"
"Yes."
"There are reports of a woman in the town were heading to. She wasn't included in the information we looked at as a group, but... Jane, her description matched Donna almost exactly." He turned to me, gripping my hand tightly in his. "I'm afraid, Jane. I'm afraid she's there, and we'll have to fight her."
"What do you mean 'she's there'? Conrad killed her sister. Why the hell would she go help him?" I could feel the anger and confusion flowing through my veins. I wanted to say something else, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and ask why something so stupid would happen, but I just felt helpless. I slumped in my seat as Felipe put his arm around me.
"I don't know. It makes no sense. I'm hoping it's not her. There's still a chance it's not."
I looked up and saw Jax walking toward the Hummer. "Does anyone else know?"
"Ronin. We didn't tell anyone else. Everyone is enough on edge as it is."
"Yeah, but don't you think it'll be worse if they see her coming at us with Conrad by her side?"
"I've thought about that. Hopefully it won't be the case."
The door opened to the back and we both quieted. When Jax was all settled, Felipe started the truck. The military folks were running point and rear on this assault, so we waited until their Hummer pulled out, then fell in behind. Ronin followed us in the SUV and the military transport brought up the rear. We were an intimidating sight, for sure. Anyone seeing us on the highways and byways would surely be impressed.
I, however, had too much to think about to be impressed by such a display. I kept picturing myself encountering Donna in a full-fledged battle and being forced to stake her. Or worse, having her stake me, then tell me how much she hated me as I lay dying.
The hours passed slowly and painfully, silence reining heavily despite Jax's attempts to lighten the mood. Eventually he gave up and switched with Benton at a pit stop. Benton had been just as surly as Felipe since Ado's death, but more depressed, so he was perfect company for our sad little duo. He sat quietly in the back and stared out the window until it was time for him to drive. Not an unnecessary word was said.
We arrived at the staging area outside of town when the sun was still high in the sky. Using tarps to keep the sun off them, Ronin and Nathan joined Felipe and I in the Humvee, while Jax and Benton went to talk to the others. The humans were going to head into town and run a two-fold scouting operation. Several houses had been labeled as vampire enclaves and were confirmed to have no families inside them. These were going to be destroyed while the sun was still out. Then once we got the other vampires good and pissed off, we'd move in to finish the job. Easy peasy.
We sat in silence in the blacked-out vehicle for what seemed like an eternity. Nathan's constant fidgeting made me want to turn around and rip his hands off, but I behaved myself and relieved my anger by biting my lip until it bled. As the sun sank low in the sky, Ronin reached into the built-in fridge and pulled out bottles of blood for all of us. We needed all the energy we could get with the upcoming battle.
When the last rays of brilliant death finally disappeared, we geared up and headed into town. The humans were spread out, some hiding behind an overturned car in the middle of the street. I jumped out of the truck and raced to join Rossi, who was peeking out from behind a tire to fire her machine gun.
"I thought you guys would have this all taken care of."
Rossi laughed at my pathetic attempt at humor, but the soldier behind me growled and continued firing.
"So what's up?"
"Some of the blood slaves decided to put up a fight. Looks like they were ready for us. They're pretty well armed."
Redemption (Jane #4) Page 4