by Stan Mason
They worked out the strategy together for the next half hour with Diana introducing a number of new ideas. They were now on track to fight like tigresses for the seat in the constituency. However there was some concern when Carol reported back to the Area Board. They were used to running their own mundane programme in the hustings relying on the speeches made by candidates on doorsteps, handing out leaflets containing details about the manifesto and television appearance by the leaders of each major Party. The idea of using American methods using musicians, speaking on street corners and car parks on a podium, using a large sheet with the logo and numerous opportunistic ideas did not go down well with them. At first they resisted making comments such as “we don’t want a circus!”, suggesting that Diana should resort to normal standard practices but Carol persuaded them to let her protégé have her head. Consequently, Diana’s garage was soon filled with literature and other items to be used in the battle. The problem remained concerning the musicians. When Carol approached some bands, they saw the opportunity of making pots of money and wanted to charge sums way above the budget. However she eventually found five musicians willing to join them for one month in the task. There was on who played the tuba, one with a trumpet, another on the saxophone a drummer and a guitarist. They were an unknown band but the hoped that by their performance during the month someone would recognise their talent As far as Carol was concerned, they were playing for her for free;
Diana was exceedingly nervous on the first day of the hustings. All this was very new to her. She had never done anything like it before and reckoned that her husband had been right....she should have withdrawn from the start. Yet she had foolishly agreed and now found herself in the forefront of that decision with only Carol to support her. What was she to say to the public? She held the Tory manifesto in her hand but most of it was gibberish to her. Yes....there was mention of the main items affecting the country but nothing to say what they intended to do about them. It was all gobbledegook! How could the Party expect to deal with such important matters in a tiny leaflet the size of a foolscap envelope? It was utter nonsense!
The first of her speeches was scheduled to take place in a busy square in the town centre. People were going in and out of the shops and some were sitting on wooden bench seats basking in the sunshine, enjoying a rest from the busy pace of life The Conservative van arrived shortly and two men removed the podium which was quickly put into place and secured the microphone with the speakers in front of it The white sheet with the name and logo was fitting up at the back between two metal poles while the musicians formed themselves in the front. A small table was set to one side with the leaflets and some badges. At last, they were all set to go.
The musicians started playing a stirring tune and, as the noise wafted across the square, the public turned their attention in that direction. Shortly, a fairly large crowd gathered which increased in size in a very short time. When the band stopped playing, Diana climbed on to the podium.
‘Ladies and Gentlemen,’ she began in a hesitant tone before her adrenalin started to kick in. ‘I come here as your Conservative candidate but I’m not like the usual politicians who talk to you.’ People began to take notice as her commanding attitude shone through. Clearly she was going to say something of interest although some of the crowd doubted that she would do so. In their fixed opinion, politicians were all the same....to be tolerated not listened to.
‘Parliament is comprised of over six hundred politicians who are supposed to represent the constituencies all over the country. But what do they do? They toe the Party line whenever they’re ordered to vote on a one, two or three-line whip. This means they represent the Party’s views and not those of the people. Why should we stand for that? There are no referendums on major issues so they don’t know what we want. They say we’re too dumb to decide on matters of such great importance. What a load of codswallop! Don’t they realise we have brains...that we have intelligence! Of course we can decide if the country should go to war....who will be the soldiers? We will! And why don’t we have a say in domestic matters which affect us? If I’m elected as your Parliamentary candidate at this General Election I make this solemn promise....not a politician’s promise which is practically worthless but one of my own. I shall fight tooth and nail against any person or Party...even if it’s my own Party....who moves against Britain or the British people. You are the people who count and I am here for you. I want to be sure that you’re not simply voters at the election but the people I represent in Parliament. I shall hold surgeries each week in this constituency and if anyone has a ‘What problem or an opinion I want them to come and see me. I warn every other politician and every Party that if I should win this seat they will have a virago on their hands....someone who will fight against poverty, red-tape, unemployment and utter foolishness!’
‘What about all the immigrants?’ yelled a man at the back of the crowd.
‘I’m a member of the Red Cross and we treat immigrants who hav contracted HIV, finding food for them before they’re returned to their own countries. For those who have claimed asylum, they have just as much right to stay here as any Briton living on this island. As for Europe, well the gates are open. Another political faux-pas by the people you probably voted in at one time or another. But there has to be a limit to the number of people coming here from abroad. We are only an island with limited space and facilities. Action must be taken sooner rather than later.’
‘What will you do about crime?’ demanded a woman near to the front. ‘How do you think you can control it?’
‘Very simple, madam.’ Diana was beginning to get into her stride. ‘I intend to make that one of my priorities. We cannot allow gangs to operate in major cities carrying guns or young people threatening others with knives. This Government has done absolutely nothing to quell the number of crimes committed each year. If I’m elected, they will be so sick and tired of me bringing up the subject that they’ll be forced to do something about it. I have some definite ideas how to increase the police force without straining the Government’s purse and to reduce crime to its lowest level for a hundred years.’
She went on under the watchful eye of Carol Hemsley who stared at Diana in disbelief. At the last election she had supported a dull wimpish man who’s ambition was simply to become elected to Parliament. He had no new ideas and Carol believed that he couldn’t even write properly. This time she was supporting an exciting brand new move in politics. Her protégé was articulate, confident, putting our a completely new message
even though it was contrary to the normal political practice undertaken by all the Parties. Nonetheless, the strategy appeared to be highly successful. The audience which swiftly grew into a mighty crowd lapped it up.
Diana stopped speaking after ten minutes for the band to play another stirring tune and then she continued with her oration, The musicians ended the session by playing ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ to which the crowd joined in by singing at the top of their voices. The then dispersed on a happy note taking away some of the leaflets and a lot of the badges. Many of them had never voted at elections through apathy but Diana hoped they would do so in her favour when the time came.
It was an initial triumph for Diana. So much so that Carol intended to report the progress back to the Area Board without delay. She had taken a tape-recorder to ensure that her seniors could hear exactly what her protégé was saying to the public. However, this was only the start of the operation. The two men bundled the podium and the other items into the back of the van and drove a quarter of a mile down the road to the next venue before putting it all out again in another square. Diana stood on the podium as the musicians played and a new crowd began to build up in front of her.
‘I’m Diana Templeton....your Conservative candidate for the General Election,’ she reiterated. ‘I don’t intend to talk politics to you but merely to say that if I am elected I’ll do a number of things whi
ch will benefit you as well as the rest of the people in this country. That is my sincere promise. I shall fight against all other members of Parliament and their Parties if they do not agree with my terms. I shall be the cat amongst the pigeons.....the spanner in the works! I want to ensure that all pensioners receive an additional payment of ten pounds each week and be completely free in having to pay any income tax. That will allow most pensioners a chance to lead a more decent life. Then I intend to press for Council Tax charges to be reduced by twenty per cent. There is too much slack in the current arrangements. Cuts need to be made, Why should you....the people....have to fork out all the time for other people’s inadequacies. Most of you just have your rubbish removed and pay through the nose for it. That has to stop!’
‘How can you find the money for that?’ demanded someone in the crowd. ‘You’re talking of billions of pounds.’
Diana moved closer to the microphone. ‘I’ll tell you how it can be funded’ she related boldly. ‘I would close down some of the useless quangos that such up so much money. Every year, over twenty-five billion pounds is spent on committees which include the Apple & Cider committee, the Clean Air Act agency, the Freewheel Cyclist committee, and dozens of other useless committees. I could save fifteen billion pounds at the wink of an eye. It’ll mean that all those fat cats making money in this way will no longer be able to do so. Why should the Government be allowed to waste your money, You work hard enough for it, don’t you? At the same time, we can stop the Ministry of Defence spending the public purse on new aircraft, tanks, ships and weaponry. Who knows how many billions are wasted in that way. Does that answer your question?’
Carol Hemsley stood on the sidelines in wonder. Diana was so refreshing but she still didn’t believe that she was in her late fifties. Where did the woman get all this information. There was only a couple of sheets of information but nothing on them like this.
‘In addition,’ continued Diana authoritatively, ‘I intend to bring all out military personnel back from foreign countries. We’re just a small island in the Atlantic Ocean. We have no responsibility to other countries in terms of military action.’
‘What are you going to do with all the soldiers, sailors and airmen then?’ asked a man at the far end of the crowd.
‘Turn them into policemen to fight crime in this country,’ rattled Diana without hesitation. ‘Crime is one of my main priorities. People living in communities should be allowed to live in peace but in somje areas they are too scared to go out at night. Youth gangs vandalise cars and properties and they have no compunction but to harm innocent people who stand in their way. This has to stop! That kind of behaviour in a civilised society must cease and the addition of, say, a hundred thousand more police will put an end to it.’
Her audience were fascinated by the way she spoke and the things she said and they were spellbound when the music started to play. The band ended the half hour session with the same final tune and shortly everything was packed away with remarkable efficiency.
‘How are you holding up?’ asked Carol smiling. ‘Are you sure you’re okay to carry on?’
‘I’m fine,’ returned Diana clearing her throat. ‘As long as I don’t lose my voice I’ll keep going.’
At the next part of town, in the car park of a large supermarket, the van arrived and the two men repeated the process. By that time, Diana was raring to go again.
‘I’m Diana Templeton, your Parliamentary candidate for the General Election and I’ve come to talk to you about crime. Our cities are rife with criminals of all kinds who carry guns and knives and who deal in drugs, gambling, prostitution and blackmail. There are gangs of youths terrorising neighbourhoods making innocent people’s lives sheer misery. It has got to stop! What can be done you ask. Well we’ll have to change the rules. We’re far too soft on criminals in this country. Community service is not the answer. I shall approach the Prime Minister to build prisons on islands surrounding Britain. These will be devoid of any facilities such as television, pool, football, darts, card games and so on. They will be hell holes for prisoners. But that’s only the start of it. The rules must change. With violent crimes, the criminals will be sent to prison for twenty years. Medium type crimes will attract a sentence of ten years while minor criminals will suffer five years in jail. Three tie offenders will remain in prison for the rest of their lives. And there will be no remission for good behaviour. Within one year of such laws being passed crime will be reduced in Britain by seventy-five per cent....either because the perpetrators are all behind bars or that they realise the serious consequences of continuing with crime. Every prisoner will be required to break up rocks and, as I said, no amenities will be available.’
‘What about the human rights of prisoners?’ ventured a woman in the crowd.
‘Another do-gooder!’ scoffed Diana cynically into the microphone. ‘Let me tell you the only people with any rights are the victims not the perpetrators! I want to rid Britain of crime and this is the only way forward. I shall press the Government very hard to draw their attention to my ideas and I’ll find supporters in this cause to set the plans into action.’
Diana was a whirlwind on the podium. Carol had never seen anyone so powerful, so vehement before. With the band playing tunes every ten minutes, the audience stood stock still waiting for the next pearls of wisdom to fall from her lips. It was a performance they had never witnessed before...a woman of command setting out new ideas for a better Britain. The unit carried on in the same way at the end of the half hour to move to another site. By this time, Diana’s voice was beginning to sound hoarse so she decided to call it a day. Carol hastened to report back to the Conservative Area Board that evening with the tape-recorder in her hand.
‘How’s the three-ringed circus doing?’ mocked the obese member, Dennis March.
‘That’s a little harsh, isn’t it?’ challenged Carol sharply.
‘Well,’ he replied casually, ‘it’s not very British, is it? Doing the hustings with a band of musicians. It just isn’t done.’
Carol smarted at his words. ‘You ought to be out on the circuit watching her,’ she criticised firmly. ‘That woman’s a marvel!’
‘You’re really taken with her, aren’t you?’ The question was tinged with ridicule.
‘Do you know, if she continues the same way, I reckon she might win the seat.’
‘Oh yes,’ guffawed March sceptically. ‘And I’m going to sprout wings! How can she possibly overturn a twelve thousand majority in a Labour stronghold? Not a chance! She hasn’t got a hope in hell!’
‘Just you wait and see!’ came the swift response. ‘You may be surprised. I don’t suppose you’d like to put a bet on it.’
March’s stared at her greedily with dollar signs appearing in his eyes. ‘You want to bet on the result? How much are you willing to gamble?’
‘Name the amount!’ She became fired up by the man’s negativity.
‘No....you name it,’ he said, counting his winnings in his head even before the bet had been placed. ‘It’s like taking candy off a baby.’
Carol thought for a moment. ‘Let’s say a hundred pounds.’
March laughed out aloud, his fat body shaking all over like a jelly. ‘I’ll take that. Shake on it!’
They shook hands and Carol wondered whether she had been foolish or wise after the event. How she would love to wipe the grin off the man’s face by winning the seat. However the bet was on and it was up to Diana to pull it off.
* * *
On the following Saturday afternoon, a week before the General Election. Diana took a flight to Agadir. It was her intention to arrive there in the evening and return the next day in advance of the last few days of the hustings. She wasn’t feeling particularly well in herself and the malaise worried her. She needed to see Dr. Mahmouod to ask whether he had made any changes in the structure of ferradil-x tha
t might have caused it but when she arrived at his office he wasn’t there. She called out his name and opened the door to his private room. It was extremely Spartan....a tiny chamber with a simple single bed, an old wooden chair and a large cabinet with shelves filled with volumes of medical books....but there was no electronic equipment of any kind, no television, no hi-fi, nothing! To her dismay the scientist was not there. He told her that he never left the hospital. She looked around and discovered a door leading off, opening it to find herself in a small square quadrangle within the hospital. She shuddered to think that the scientist actually lived in such menial conditions for the last sixteen years. He had dedicated his whole life to his work and then a terrifying thought came into her mind...where were the animals? Was the experiment all an elaborate hoax? If so, she didn’t think she could bear it. With that in mind, she went to the reception desk in the hospital to ask whether they knew the whereabouts of the scientist.
‘He fell ill,’ stated the desk nurse dryly. ‘He’s in Room Sixteen undergoing treatment.’
‘Can you tell me where he keeps his animals....those that he experiments on?’ she asked with her heart beating faster.
‘They’re kept in a separate room not far from his office,’ came the reply.
Diana relaxed as the tension in her body slowly subsided, Well at least he was telling the truth about that part of the experiment. ‘Room Sixteen,’ she repeated thanking the desk nurse for the information. She went directly to the room, knocked on the door and entered. Dr. Mahmoud lay in the bed with a drip in his arm and an oxygen mask over his face. ‘What happened to you?’ she asked sitting in the chair next to the bed. He looked so ill that she feared she would find herself in the same situation in the near future if this was the effect of the experiment.