“Janna! Keep still! I have you safe.”
Godric! Hardly daring to believe it was his voice she’d heard, Janna sagged back against him. They flew on toward a small gate in the newly fortified abbey walls; it was closed but not manned, for everyone had rushed to the main gatehouse when the tocsin had sounded. Godric leaped down and quickly opened it, then remounted and drove his horse on once more. He didn’t speak and neither did Janna. She was beyond speech; overwhelmed by the events that, almost in a heartbeat, had overturned her whole life.
My father is dead. The words drummed through her mind like a funeral dirge; they scoured her heart, left her aching and empty. My father is dead. It seemed like the end of the world as she’d known it.
*
Once they left the abbey, Godric rode at full gallop, keeping to fields and country lanes where, with luck, their passage would not be remarked on. Janna realized he was heading for Hugh’s manor, but was too distraught to question their destination and the reception they might find there. They were still some distance away when Godric finally reined in their exhausted steed and dismounted. He turned and held up his hands to help her down.
She slid into his arms and felt them close around her. In spite of her distress, she had the sensation that she had, at last, come home. Exhausted, she leaned against him, savoring the touch of his lips on her hair, on her cheek. She tilted her head sideways, and his lips found hers in a lingering kiss, soft and sweet enough to ignite a fire in her heart, her belly, her loins. She clung to him, desperate to convince him of her love, to erase the misunderstandings and difficulties that had kept them apart for so long.
But he let her go, and took her hand. “Come, let’s sit down. My horse needs to rest for a while,” he said, and led her to a grassy spot. He sat, and patted the ground beside him. “I’m sorry I have no cloak to protect your fine dress from grass stains,” he said with a half-smile that yet held a tinge of bitterness.
Uncaring, Janna sank down beside him. “My father is dead.” Reality had come crashing in as soon as she’d left the safety of his arms. Tears flooded down her cheeks, and she choked back a sob.
“I know. I saw him die, and I am sorry for it.”
“You saw?” Janna suddenly became aware that Godric was wearing the padded gambeson that offered protection to those soldiers unable to afford a full suit of armor.
Godric nodded. “Lord Hugh had been told that the earl was mustering an army to defend the castle at Sarisberie. We were preparing to join him just as soon as the case against Robert of Babestoche was heard. But we met the earl’s troops along the way. They were already close to Wiltune and on a forced march, aiming to take the king and his men by surprise and settle this dispute for the crown once and for all.”
“You certainly caught us all by surprise! But – oh, Godric, why did my father have to die? He wasn’t armed. He was no threat to anyone. I don’t even know whose side that soldier supported! And he could have had no way of knowing whether Papa was on the same side as him or not.”
Godric shook his head. “Men get caught up in the heat of battle and the crisis of the moment. They don’t have time to wonder if they’re confronted by friend or foe. It’s more a matter of kill or be killed. And unfortunately your father got in the way.” He took Janna’s hand and held it to his heart in an effort to bring her comfort.
“And my father is gone now, gone forever.” Janna began to weep once more, shuddering with sobs as loss and grief caught up with her.
At once Godric moved closer and put his arms around her. “Don’t despair, Janna. I’m here, and I’ll keep you safe.”
“But you shouldn’t be here!” The realization brought her upright; she struggled to free herself from Godric’s embrace. “Surely you should be with the earl’s army, supporting your lord in battle? You must go back, Godric, or pay the penalty for desertion!”
“I’m acting under Sire Hugh’s instructions, Janna. As soon as we realized the earl’s intentions, his one thought was to keep you safe. He told me to look out for you, even to put my life on the line if necessary. As soon as I saw your father wounded I ran to secure a horse to take you to safety.”
Janna drew a shuddering breath. Their situation hadn’t changed. Godric had only saved her because Hugh had instructed him to do so.
“You have done your duty, then. You can go back to your lord now.” She stood up and brushed herself down, trying to control her churning emotions.
“I wasn’t rescuing you out of duty, Janna. I intended to find you even without Sire Hugh’s instructions.” Godric ventured a small smile as he stood and faced her. “I don’t know whether Earl Robert will understand my position or not, but keeping you safe is all I care about right now.”
Chastened at having misunderstood his motives, Janna bowed her head. “If you go back quickly, you might not be missed. Only take care, Godric, I pray you.” She took his hand and grasped it tight. “You are my life. My heart is in your keeping.”
“But you are betrothed to another,” Godric reminded her. “I don’t know if he’ll survive the earl’s attack, or how the king’s fortunes might turn after today, but your safety is my immediate concern. I cannot leave you here on your own, Janna.”
“There’s no danger.” Janna’s arm made a wide sweep of the peaceful countryside to illustrate her point. “I can walk from here to Hugh’s manor, and I’ll ask Hugh’s wife to take me in for the night. After that I shall return to Winchestre.”
“Winchestre? Why?”
“My father is dead.” Janna’s breath caught in her throat; she swallowed hard. Leaving Godric would be the hardest thing in the world, yet she knew that duty must come first. “My father’s family must be told, and so must his daughter, who is still at the abbey in Wiltune. We must make arrangements for his funeral. You have carried out Hugh’s orders, Godric. Please, go back, and make sure Earl Robert takes note of your presence as if you had never left the abbey.”
“No, Janna. I shall escort you safely to the manor.” Godric went to the horse, which had taken the opportunity to graze on the soft green grass. “But there’s no need for you to travel to Winchestre. Dame Eleanor can arrange for messengers to be sent, both to your half-sister at Wiltune and also to Winchestre.” He didn’t look at her, but instead busied himself making some small readjustment to the stirrups. “You’ve had an appalling shock and you need to rest. I shall speak to Dame Eleanor on your behalf. She can take care of whatever needs to be done.”
The temptation to go along with what Godric had suggested was overwhelming. Exhaustion washed over Janna; she found she could barely stand. She nodded, and Godric helped her to mount. Let me have tonight with him, she thought wearily. Tomorrow I will become a dutiful daughter once more – even if my father is not here to see it. Her throat constricted in sorrow as she began to understand the full horror of her loss, and all that it meant for her future. Godric’s arms around her, his solid presence, were her only source of comfort as they rode on.
*
There was yet another ordeal to endure once they arrived. There had been many changes to Hugh’s manor, Janna noticed; changes bearing the unmistakable stamp of a woman’s touch. Cushions and colored hangings brightened the solar where they were told to wait for Dame Eleanor to receive them. There was the scent of sweet new rushes and strewn herbs in the air. Janna gratefully sank down onto a seat.
The lady’s expression changed from the warmth of welcoming Godric to a freezing stare when she noticed Janna. “Where is Hugh?” she asked sharply, and listened intently as Godric supplied the answer. Her forehead creased in a worried frown as he went on to describe the earl’s attack on the fortified abbey and the killing and confusion that had followed.
“So why have you deserted your lord? And why have you brought her into my home?” Eleanor smoothed her swollen stomach as if to reassure herself of her husband’s love and fidelity. Janna estimated that the baby was only a month or two from being born. Knowing they were both cond
emned if Godric told Eleanor about Hugh’s orders, and reluctant to cause Eleanor distress in her advanced state of pregnancy, she stepped quickly into the breach.
“My father died in the battle,” she said, making a supreme effort to keep her voice steady as she mustered an explanation that might dispel Eleanor’s suspicions. “I tried to drag his body to safety, but suddenly found myself in the middle of the fighting. It was my great good fortune that Godric noticed me and swept me up on his horse and carried me off to safety.” She clutched Godric’s arm, hoping that the dame could see the love she bore for him, hoping that in this way she could prove she was not a threat to the dame’s own marriage. Yet still Eleanor watched her with a frosty glare.
“I beg you, give me refuge just for tonight, my lady,” Janna continued. “I must cast myself on your charity, for now that my father is dead, I have nothing left. I am no-one without him.”
“You are your father’s legitimate daughter and the granddaughter of a king, my lady,” Godric reminded her.
“You don’t understand! My father is dead, and his family all hate me. They will go to the ends of the earth to deny my legitimacy and any claim I might have on his estate.” Janna noticed the disbelief on their faces. “In spite of my father’s request, the king delayed giving his agreement to my father’s testament, which bequeaths all his property in England to me,” she explained carefully. “Now that my father is dead, I am certain the king will not honor his wishes regarding my inheritance. Neither will my father’s family, for they greatly resent me and the affection he bore me. So you see, I have nothing to offer you or anyone else, my lady. No wealth, no prospects. Nothing. I need to get back to Winchestre and find employment there.”
As she thought of the manor house built to her specifications, and her burgeoning herb garden waiting for her attention, it was all Janna could do not to burst into bitter tears, to weep for her lost hopes, her dream of founding a hospitium where those in need might find shelter and healing. With difficulty, she brought her straying thoughts back to the duty still awaiting her. “But I must first return to Wiltune, just as soon as it is safe to do so, for my half-sister is at the abbey, and she will be devastated to hear of her father’s death.” She could not stop herself from adding bitterly, “No doubt their sorrow will be lightened somewhat by the fact that all of my father’s property will now stay safely in their hands.”
“But you are betrothed to William of Marsford,” Godric protested. “He is a brave soldier and I’ve heard that he is a good and honest man. You have no need for despair, my lady, nor have you any need to seek employment. William will take care of you, I am sure.”
William of Marsford! In one dizzying second Janna realized that she was free of him, for there was no father to insist on a marriage, nor would William want her now that her prospects had taken such a turn for the worse.
“We were never betrothed and I shall never wed him, whether or not he still wants me for a wife – which I doubt,” she said fiercely.
Beside her, Godric drew a deep, shuddering sigh. “You truly believe you have no prospects of advancement now that your father is dead?”
Janna shook her head, hardly daring to hope that the new warmth she heard in his voice might signal something more.
Godric took her hand. “You could have a future with me, if you’d have me for a husband.” He leaned back a little the better to observe her, to watch her reaction and wait for her answer.
Janna stilled, listening to the echo of his words in her mind. Did he mean it? Or was he just feeling sorry for her?
“But I have nothing to offer you, Godric, except myself.”
“And that is why I’m free to speak to you at last,” Godric said quietly. “All I want from you, Janna, all I’ve ever wanted, is your love.”
“And you have it, you have all my heart.” Janna wished that Eleanor was not present to witness Godric’s declaration. She had waited so long for this moment; she ached to feel Godric’s arms around her once more. Yet perhaps it was for the best, for Eleanor’s tense wariness was gone now, replaced by a smile of pleasure that her worst fears had proved unfounded.
“But I can offer you nothing of the honor and status you’ve already known,” Godric reminded her. “I am a working man, dependent on Sire Hugh for employment.”
“I don’t care about honor and status! I only care about you.” It would mean they’d have to make their life here, with Hugh and Eleanor, which would not be to the lady’s liking at all. Janna shot a quick glance at Eleanor, and was encouraged by what she saw there: sympathy, and something more – admiration?
“But Sire Hugh wishes you to marry Cecily,” Janna reminded Godric, wanting to be reassured that all obstacles to their match could be safely set aside.
“You can leave my husband’s wishes out of this, and you can leave Cecily to me.” Eleanor’s cool voice broke the tension between them. “I shall give some thought to your future and what might be best.” She stood up. “It’s late,” she said, “and I’m sure, after all that has befallen you, Johanna, you need to rest.” She turned to Godric. “Before you retire, please see to it that a messenger is sent, without delay, to Johanna’s family in Winchestre to tell them of her father’s death. And send another messenger to Wiltune, for I would have news of my husband as soon as possible. Ask him also to make enquiries regarding the safety of Johanna’s half-sister.”
“Yes, my lady.” Godric left the room. Janna longed to follow after him, wanting to savor his presence and his kisses now that their future was finally assured.
“Come with me, Johanna.” Eleanor sounded quite friendly now that Janna was no longer a candidate for her husband’s affection. Even so, she could not resist a final check. “How long have you and Godric loved each other?”
“Since first we ever met.” It was true, Janna thought, although it had taken her long enough to realize it. She remembered how she’d been dazzled by Hugh, and also by Ralph, so dazzled she’d been unable to appreciate the rough diamond so close to her hand and to her heart.
“Then why – ?”
“I was too young to understand his worth, and too impatient to fulfill a promise I had made to my mother. And so I rejected his offer of marriage and set out to find my unknown father in order to avenge my mother’s death. It’s taken me all these years to understand what I now know: that my life can only be complete if he is by my side.”
“You set out on your own to find your father? That was a courageous thing to do, Johanna.”
Unsure how to respond, Janna stayed silent.
“And now you have lost everything.”
Janna winced at the pity in Eleanor’s voice, while at the same time hearing also her relief that not only had Janna been cast down, but that she had given her heart to another and not to Hugh.
Janna felt sympathy for Eleanor’s jealousy, for she’d shared just such an emotion when she’d first seen Godric and Cecily together, and had misunderstood the situation. She hadn’t been able to put a name to her disquiet at the time, but now she knew exactly how the dame felt.
Cecily. Janna felt a stab of guilt at the thought of the young woman whose secret had been laid bare in court, and who had also lost the man she loved. Truly, she must curse the day she met Janna, and blame her for all her subsequent misfortune. And yet Cecily’s misfortune had begun when first she’d trusted Robert’s false promises and had lain with him. Everything had flowed from that: the death of Eadgyth, Janna’s quest to find out the truth, and her return to her home to seek justice and revenge, a quest that had resulted in her father’s death. But Janna’s loss of father and fortune had also brought about the end of Cecily’s hopes. Truly, the wheel of fate brought happiness and despair as it turned and turned again, while the actions of those caught up on it had repercussions far beyond what might have seemed apparent at the time.
Chapter 11
The new day brought with it the return of Hugh and some of those men who had accompanied him into battle. Two
of his retinue had been killed, while Hugh himself had been wounded.
Janna immediately raided the manor’s herb garden, relieved to find it well stocked with the sorts of plants she needed both to make a cleansing wash for the long gash in Hugh’s arm and a soothing ointment to help it heal. Eleanor accompanied her, watching her every move. Janna wasn’t sure if it was so that she could learn for herself how to treat wounds, or whether it was to make sure that nothing untoward passed between her husband and Janna.
They had exchanged complicit smiles as she brought the basin and cloth to him. Both remembered the last time Janna had nursed him to health after a similar injury had placed him in her care.
“Good news, Hugh. Johanna and Godric are to be wed,” Eleanor announced as she followed Janna into their bedchamber.
“Godric? But I thought – ”
Janna realized then that he couldn’t know what had happened to change her circumstances. “My father died in the battle, my lord,” she explained, grimly amused at how their roles had been reversed once more. “And with him died his plans to marry me off to William of Marsford, and for me to inherit his property here in England.”
“Your father is dead? I am so sorry to hear that, Johanna.” Hugh took her hand and pressed it in sympathy, ignoring his wife’s glare as he did so. His words stabbed Janna with a new sense of loss. She blinked quickly to dispel the hot tears that swelled in her eyes.
“Godric rescued me and brought me here.” Janna withdrew her hand from his. “He saved my life.”
“I am greatly relieved to find you safe.” Hugh didn’t mention that Godric was following his orders.
“Godric should not have deserted you, no matter how pressing the cause!” Eleanor’s sharp retort betrayed her concern.
Janna thought it best to divert their attention. “Did you see anything of my half-sister Richildis before you left Wiltune, my lord?” Much as she disliked the girl, Janna hoped that she had come safely through the firestorm.
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