“Thanks, Jeff. I really appreciate that.”
“That’s what Uncles are for,” he said with a grin. “To think… I could have been the one who…” realizing what he’d almost said, he ducked his head in shame and looked away from her. “I should go. Let my brother know I stopped by.”
“Jeff, wait,” she called to him before he could make his escape. He turned around and looked at her with so much guilt written on his face, she almost couldn’t breathe. “You can’t just leave a statement like that hanging…”
“I’d really rather not …” he said, rubbing his hand anxiously over the back of his neck, wishing he could be just about anywhere else, talking about literally any other subject matter.
“But why?” she asked, sitting upright, staring at him in confusion. She saw the pained look on his face and she swallowed her fear. “Never mind… Your secrets are none of my business… I hope you didn’t ever get the idea that anything could have ever happened between the two of us… I like you Jeff. I really do. But with Eric…”
Jeff held his hand up in the air and smiled as he thought about the look his big brother always had on his face when he talked about this woman. Even when all he was doing was complaining, Jeff could see just how deep Eric’s feelings where the good doctor was concerned went. “Say no more. I get it. Trust me, there’s a reason why I donate my sperm. I have no interest in settling down and making a family. That’s more Eric’s speed. He fell in love at a really early age. They were practically babies when they got married. I knew then that as happy as it made me to see him like that, I had no longing to go there myself. Losing her the way he did… well, it did something to my brother. It was as if we’d buried both of them instead of just her. I can’t begin to tell you how happy it makes me, to see him acting like he’s coming back to life again, thanks to you.”
“It isn’t because of me,” Madeline argued, shaking her head in denial. “It’s because of Lillie Rose.”
“Lillie Rose?” he asked, cocking his head in confusion.
“Our daughter,” she answered, grinning widely. “As I said before, he’s over at the nursery with her right now, if you’d like to go see him. He wanted to leave me alone in peace so I could get some much needed sleep.”
The hint was hardly subtle and he nodded his head, turning around and shutting the door behind him as he headed down the hall towards the nursery. It was time to congratulate his big brother and remind him that he was alive and that his daughter needed him to act the part and not as if he was half dead and buried. He had seen the way Madeline’s eyes had lit up when she’d talked about Eric. Even if there was any doubt about what it had meant, there was no denying or arguing with the fact that she’d referred to the baby as “our daughter”… signifying the fact that she’d accepted Eric as a very important person in the life of the little girl she loved.
“Hey, big bro,” Jeff said as Eric spotted him and stepped out into the hall to see what he wanted. “I guess congrats are in order,” he said, nodding towards the baby girl who was screaming at the top of her lungs as the nurse stuck a needle into the bottom of her tiny foot.
“I never thought I’d see the day,” Eric whispered softly, looking back through the window with so much love in his eyes, it almost broke Jeff’s heart.
“Vic would want you to enjoy the moment… to love your daughter… and to go with your feelings for the woman who gave this precious little girl, life. She would want the three of you to be a real family, bro.”
“I do love that little girl… More than I ever knew it was possible for me to ever love another human,” Eric admitted, turning fully towards the window to watch as the nurse ran a damp cloth over the baby’s head. “She’s so beautiful,” he whispered huskily.
“You are so thick headed!” Jeff grumbled sourly. “Everything I said, and the only thing you heard was my telling you to love your daughter. You’ve got nothing to say about the mention of Victoria… or of Madeline. You didn’t even comment on my suggesting you need to get a life.”
“I’m not ignoring you,” Eric grumbled under his breath, refusing to look at his little brother. “Really, I’m not. As a matter of fact, just before Madeline went into labor, I almost…. That is… we nearly…”
“Why, you old snake in the grass!” Jeff accused, crossing his arms in disbelief. “You were holding out on me. Details… What? Did you send her into labor? Were things that intense in the sack between the two of you?”
Eric laughed and turned away from his brother to look at his daughter. “You are such a perverted little cuss, you know that, right?” he teased, shaking his head in denial. “Things never got that far. Really, we never made it past some heavy flirting before she went into labor.”
“Well, it’s better than nothing,” Jeff chuckled, feeling happy for his big brother. “Just, do yourself a big favor. Don’t blow this. That woman is sweet, beautiful and very much into you. She already loves your daughter… This could be the real deal, bro.”
“I had the real deal once, Jeff,” Eric reminded his brother in a craggy voice. “It didn’t last. I’m not sure that I trust in that sort of relationship with a woman any more. But I won’t deny that I want Madeline physically… I’m not stupid enough to believe I can be involved in a no strings affair. Especially not with her. Believe me; I’m fully aware that I’m going to have to take a risk where she’s concerned.”
The nurse came out with Lillie Rose and handed her over to Eric. “You can take her in to the other room,” she said, pointing at a door on the other side of the busy nursery. “There is a rocking chair where you can sit with your daughter. Normally, we reserve it for the NICU patients, but I know Maddie. If she asked for time alone, she needs it. I know when she went into this whole parenthood thing; she hadn’t expected to have to share the baby with anyone else. I realize she’s determined to do what she believes to be the right thing by her daughter, which means she is bending over backwards to include you in the baby’s life. Your friend here is welcome to join you,” she said, nodding at Jeff before turning and walking away, leaving them alone.
“Well, that was about as subtle as a gunshot wound straight to the heart,” Eric grumbled, shaking his head as he carried his daughter back inside and through the door the nurse had pointed out. “Come on, little brother. Let’s make an effort to get to know this precious baby girl.”
“Give her a break,” Jeff scolded as Eric settled into a rocking chair with his daughter snuggled into the crook of his arm. “She cares about Madeline. Clearly, she has her issues with men. If she didn’t, she would have gone about getting pregnant the natural way.”
That statement hung in the air and Eric had to consider what she’d told him earlier. No man had ever touched her. That fact had left him hard for a long time, despite his overwhelming fear. Now, he had to stop and ask himself what reason there could possibly be for that, where the unbelievably beautiful doctor was concerned.
“Yeah… come to think of it, there has to be something in her past somewhere that has made her leery of men. No worries. I have every intention of changing her mind about that. As soon as humanly possible.”
He watched as Jeff walked out of the room, laughing so hard, his belly shook. Eric’s lips curved into a smile in response. His brother had been just as stone faced around him as he had been distant ever since Victoria had been killed. If it was half as relieving to his little brother to see him living again as it was for him to see the twerp laugh, Eric was pleased that he’d been able to relieve a little of his little brother’s concern.
One more thing to thank Madeline for bringing back into both of their lives. He looked down at the gorgeous baby girl in his arms and offered her his finger to wrap her pudgy little hand around. “You and me, kiddo. We’re going to find a way to make your mommy smile again. The sooner the better. We owe her that much after everything she’s given us.”
When the nurse came in and told him that Madeline was awake and asking to see her daught
er, Eric stood up, refusing to hand the baby over. He carried her down the hall into the delivery room himself. His heart was light as he pushed the doors open and handed the sweet angel in his arms to the beautiful woman in the bed. He tried hard not to think about how much he wanted to pull Madeline into his arms when she reached for the baby.
When she smiled and immediately moved her gown out of the way to nurse their daughter, Eric tensed; his gaze glued to the milky white skin she’d bared. Keeping things light and easy until she healed was going to be next to impossible if she was going to insist on being so open about breast feeding. He shifted uncomfortably, forcing himself to look away.
“So… I’m just going to pull up a chair and try to get some shut eye now. If you need anything… just yell.”
Madeline looked up at the gritty sound of his voice and cocked her head. Then she followed his gaze to her bare breast and blushed deeply. She grabbed a blanket and covered herself and Lillie Rose. “Thank you… I’ll make more of an effort to see that I’m better covered in the future, come feeding time.”
“Don’t do it on my account,” he argued as he settled into a chair and lowered the brim of his hat over his eyes. “I was quite enjoying the view.”
As she began to chuckle, he smiled, closed his eyes and propped his feet up on another chair. He felt light hearted and excited for the future for the first time since that horrible day he’d gotten that unforgettable phone call from Victoria only to hear her scream as death took her from him.
For the sweet angel who would eventually call him Daddy, he knew it was time to put the past behind him. And for the woman he was starting to care for as well. If they had any hope of someday being a real family, which he knew he’d have to do, to keep the baby with him without a fight; he knew that he had to find a way to firmly leave Victoria in his past where she belonged. It was past time.
Chapter 11
While Madeline was healing, she’d had a long string of visitors who had kept Eric hiding out in the barn or working the fields in order to give her some privacy. He was afraid to get too close to her until her body had recovered from giving birth, for fear of losing his fine grip on his control over his libido.
His house had seen more well-meaning females in the last three and a half weeks than it had ever seen before. Victoria had never been a socialite. She’d spent most of her time out with the animals or with Eric. One time she’d gone out on a girl’s night out, but she’d met her friends down at the dance hall where they’d gone line dancing.
Sitting atop his horse at the top of the hill where he’d rode to fix a broken fence; he looked down at the house. It was the first time Madeline had been alone while she was awake since they’d brought Lillie Rose home. When he’d left the house that morning, she’d been kneeling on the floor hovering over the baby, rubbing their noses together in an Eskimo kiss. He’d wanted to pull her into his arms and give her a real kiss, and he’d needed to get out of the house before he acted on the impulse that had just about brought him to his knees.
He’d been so desperate to get out of the house, he’d actually ran out the back door without a shirt and as a result, he could feel the hot Texas sun beating down on him, burning his exposed skin. At least the pain gave him something else to concentrate on, other than his intense desire for the woman he’d forced to move into his house with him.
Jeff had laughed and given him grief over the fact that since they’d brought the baby home, he hadn’t made a single trip down to the cemetery. Eric hadn’t even stopped to think about it until his little brother had pointed that out and the guilt that had swamped him had nearly driven him to ride out to Victoria’s marker right then and there. The only thing that had stopped him had been hearing Lillie Rose squeal while Madeline was laughing. He’d been so distracted by that sound filling his previously silent home; he’d managed to forget all about heading down to the cemetery to mourn.
Her voice carried on the breeze and he listened to her singing a lullaby. His eyes fluttered closed and he let the words wash over him, soothing his otherwise frazzled nerves. He knew, sooner or later, she’d be going back to work, and when that happened, he might not be quite as impressed with her natural mothering instincts, but right now, he thought Madeline made a fantastic mother. Lillie Rose hardly ever cried. Overall, she was a happy baby, and he knew that it was thanks to all the love and attention the baby received from Madeline.
He had spent a few days in the house with the baby, while Madeline went out with her friends, and he’d loved every second he’d gotten with the precious baby girl. She was so sweet and when he was with her, he felt needed in a way he’d never felt before. His eyes drifted to the garden that Madeline had insisted he plant and a smile played at his lips as he recalled the reason she’d given him for her choice of names for their daughter. Madeline may be a scientist, but she had a big heart too. That wasn’t something he’d expected of her. It was nice being surprised.
Having been married to a woman he’d known his whole life had been nice… but there had been no surprises because he’d known exactly what to expect of his wife. He hadn’t even realized that he missed being surprised with her. They’d had a good life together and he knew he’d made her happy because she’d told him every day. The thrill that came with not knowing how Madeline would respond to something was so amazing, he could hardly wait to do something new and different just to see what she would say and do.
His mind had been dwelling on how she would respond if he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, pretty much nonstop for the last nine months. She was a distraction that he’d fought hard. It had gotten so out of control, he’d actually gone down to the local honky-tonk with the intention of trolling for women, just to get his mind off the stunning woman he was living with. It had been a disaster of epic proportions. Thankfully, Jeff had been there with him and Eric had nursed his beer and just sulked at the bar; his mind back at the house with Madeline. His little brother had entertained the girls that had surrounded them and he’d left the bar, more than ready to head back home and spend time alone while Jeff spent the night flirting.
He’d never been drawn to anyone other than Victoria before Madeline, so he wasn’t sure what had made him think he’d be successful in using another woman to get his mind off the sexy woman that currently had his undivided attention. In order to remember what his wife looked like, he’d been forced to pull the old photo album out of the cedar chest where he’d stored it and spent hours staring at the pictures with tears running down his face. Either that, or go into his living room and stare at the picture of their wedding that hung over the fireplace.
In the end, he’d packed the album back in the chest and gone out to spend a few hours with Madeline and Lillie Rose. That had been the last time he’d done such a thing, because that was the moment he’d realized just how dangerous his desire for Madeline could be for both of them. Ever since then, when she was awake, he tried his hardest to stay outside.
He looked over the horizon at the crimson, yellow and orange glow that represented the setting sun. Madeline had Lillie Rose on a schedule that was so strict, he had it memorized. She’d have the baby down in her crib after being bathed and fed soon and then Madeline would head to the kitchen to eat before heading for the bathroom where she would soak in a bubble bath until she was drowsy.
There had been many hours that Eric had pictured her sprawled out in the bathtub surrounded by white foam; candles lit and soft music playing in the background. It had been all he could do to stay away the few times he’d come into the house, thinking she’d headed to bed only to hear the soft strains of her voice, singing along with the music.
Sighing heavily, he knew he couldn’t continue to fight the draw he felt towards her for much longer. The longer he spent wanting her, the more danger she’d be in when he finally gave in to pull her in for a kiss. He didn’t want to frighten her. Having never been with a man before, he knew that he had to move slowly towards the physical side of the
ir relationship. She may give in to him, but he needed to make sure that when he caved and ended up taking her to his bed, she would want to stay around after the fact. He couldn’t take the chance that she’d take Lillie Rose and leave.
Even if he hadn’t promised Victoria he’d raise any child born of those embryos, he’d still want to make sure the baby stayed with him. He’d fallen hard and fast for that sweet little slice of Heaven. One long look and his heart had belonged to her. The first time he’d held her in his arms, he had felt so unworthy of her; his tongue had swollen in his mouth making it nearly impossible to swallow.
He knew he’d never survive watching Lillie Rose leave. The scary part was, he wasn’t sure he’d do much better if Madeline decided she couldn’t live there with him any more either, and he hadn’t even kissed her. Yet. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe that it wouldn’t happen eventually. His need for her was too out of control already. It had been from about five seconds after she’d opened her door; before he’d even realized that she was the one he was looking for.
His eyes were still glued to the window and he could see Madeline carry the baby down the hall towards the bathroom. A smile played across his face and he kicked the horse in the side to head back towards the barn. As unpredictable as Maddie was, it was nice to know that in some things, he had her pegged.
He’d just finished unsaddling his horse and hosing him down when he saw her walking out onto the front porch. The soft reflection of the moon shone brightly on her hair, giving her an unearthly glow. She looked so soft and inviting, leaning against the railing. When their eyes connected across the field, Eric’s hand stilled on the horse’s mane and he had to work hard to swallow the lump that formed in his throat.
Baby Mine (Stubborn Texas Siblings Book 1) Page 7