It was odd. As much as she’d hated the fact that Eric had insisted on being an active father to her child when she’d first found out about the mix up, she wouldn’t trade him as Lillie Rose’s Daddy for anything. Jeff was a great guy, but she would never have even met him if it wasn’t for Eric. She liked having Eric in her daughter’s life. As adamant as she’d been about taking parenthood on alone, she’d seen the benefits to having a man in Lillie Rose’s life. Add the fact that Eric was a great Dad and it helped a lot. Then there was the natural chemistry that they shared. Madeline found that she would have hated to find out after the fact that she was attracted to the brother of the man who’d fathered her daughter.
“I’m going to tell you something, but you have to give me your word, you’re not going to give me flack about it,” Eric said, lifting the baby to his shoulder and lightly rubbing her back.
“What? You have told her? Are you telling me she knows how you feel? There’s no way I’m buying any statement you might make about her not returning your feelings. I’ve seen the way that woman looks at you. It’s as if you were a tasty treat.”
“Give me a break, Jeff. If either of us is obsessed with the other, it’s me. And no … I haven’t said anything. But … I have kissed her,” he admitted. His voice was so whispered; Madeline barely heard the words as they came out. The intensity of his voice made the admittance come out as if it had been ripped from deep in his heart by force.
“Seriously?” Jeff asked; the awe in his voice was so clear, there was no doubt that he was surprised and Madeline wondered why.
“Yeah. It shocked me too,” Eric admitted laughing.
“That had to have been huge for you. I know that before this, Vic’s the only woman you’ve ever…”
“Yeah. She was the first woman I’d ever wanted to kiss. When Vic died, I was sure that every part of my libido had gone with her. The second I saw Madeline, I knew I was in trouble though. I’m more drawn to her than I ever was to Vic,” Eric admitted in a shaky voice. “I want her so bad, I can almost taste it,” he admitted, sounding so guilty that Madeline could feel it all the way from outside the room and around the corner.
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again until it sinks into your big stubborn head, bro. Vic would have wanted you to be happy and to move on with your life. If this woman can do that, you owe it to yourself and to Victoria to pursue it. You can’t allow the guilt to eat you up. She’s been gone for five years, Eric. It’s past time to move on with your life.”
“I know,” Eric said settling the baby onto the floor for a little tummy time. He took a moment to move a bright toy close to her face before he sat back up and looked at his little brother. “I knew it the second I realized how intense and deep my need for Madeline was. I’m just having some serious issues coming to grips with the idea of breaking those vows I made to Vic.”
“Given what you told me about Madeline never having been with a man, you must know that if you’re going to pursue the physical side of your relationship with her, there are going to have to be some intense emotions involved. A woman doesn’t save herself for as long as she has and then just fall into a man’s bed just because he’s horny.”
“You seem to know an awful lot about this, given how determined you are to never get involved seriously with any one woman,” Eric observed sourly.
“Just because I have no desire to ever settle down, doesn’t mean I don’t know a thing or two about the fairer sex and how they think. I’ve been with more than my fair share of women over the years, Eric. As easy of a time as I have, getting a woman into my bed, I’ve never managed to get a virgin there… and I’m not one to go after anyone older than me. I can’t even imagine how much more carefully a woman your age would cling to her closely guarded virginity.”
“I really don’t want to talk to you about this, Jeff. It’s bad enough that you managed to somehow wrangle that little gem of truth from me in the first place. I had no right telling you. It was a very personal admittance that Maddie trusted me with. The last thing I want to do is upset her. She’s important to me.”
Madeline heard Jeff stand up and she panicked and ran up the stairs to her room. As much as she may want to hear the rest of their conversation, she didn’t want to be caught standing there listening in. Besides, she needed the space and time to let what she’d heard sink in. It was a lot to absorb.
Chapter 14
Eric carried Lillie Rose upstairs to the nursery later that night, wondering where Madeline was. He was surprised when he saw the light on in her room. Thinking she’d accidently left it on, he shifted the baby to one arm and opened the door. He was surprised when he saw her sprawled out on top of her bed, wearing her skimpy nightgown, reading a romance novel with a cowboy on the front.
This woman was forever stunning him. A wide smile crossed his face. “Hey, I didn’t hear you come in. I was just getting ready to put the baby down for the night. Did you want to spend a little time with her? I know she’s sound asleep, but I know how much you love holding her…”
Madeline looked up from her book, surprised that he’d actually just walked into her room. “You were having so much fun with her, I didn’t have the heart to interrupt,” she said feeling lame, hoping her face wasn’t flaming from the embarrassment she felt. “If she’s been fed, bathed and has a clean diaper, why don’t you go ahead and put her down. I’ll deal with her when she wakes up. Did the two of you enjoy your Daddy daughter time?”
“We did, thank you,” Eric answered quietly. “My brother came by…” he told her shyly. “He’s almost as crazy about this little princess as I am.”
“That’s great,” she said, sitting up on the bed and setting her book down upside down and open on the nightstand beside the bed. “I’m glad you guys had fun. My friends just wanted to go fishing for dirt,” she told him, chuckling. “I never knew they were such gossips.”
Eric laughed. “I’m going to go put her down, and we can talk. My brother is more of a busy body than I’d realized too.”
He quickly went down the hall to the nursery and settled the baby into the crib. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her brow, smiling when she moved her lips in a sucking motion, blowing a bubble in the process. “Daddy loves you, Princess,” he whispered before backing out the door; making sure the baby monitor was on before he quietly clicked it shut.
Madeline was standing in the middle of the hall when he backed out, bumping right into her. He spun around, practically tripping over an apology as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Are you okay?” he asked huskily. “I’m sorry; I should have been watching where I was going.”
Her breathing was erratic and her chest rose and fell heavily with each heaving intake of air. He could see the maddeningly fast pulse in her neck and her eyes shimmered with interest as she looked up into his face. A deep groan escaped from somewhere deep inside him and he moved his arms lower to circle her tiny waist.
“It’s hard to think when you’re this close,” he admitted in a husky murmur that made the tiny hairs on the back of Madeline’s neck stand on end at the same time as her nipples tightened in response to the graveled need she’d heard behind the words he had uttered.
“Why are you doing this?” she whimpered softly, her breath coming out in soft bursts, blowing warmly against his bare chest, making the hairs there stand on end.
“I can’t seem to help myself,” he answered truthfully. “I told you before. Around you, I have next to zero self control.” The words seemed to have been ripped from deep in his chest somewhere, almost against his will.
“But, I still don’t understand,” she told him warily.
Eric laughed and leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers as he answered her the best he could. “What’s to understand? You’re an unbelievably beautiful woman with the heart of an angel and the personality of a Goddess. Any man would be lucky to call you the mother of his child.”
“Is Lillie Rose
the only reason…” she started to ask. Eric cut the question off by lowering his head the rest of the way and claiming her mouth in a kiss hot enough to start a fire in her veins.
Madeline settled against his chest, mewling and sighing as his tongue swept into her mouth, deepening the kiss. His big hand shook as he lifted it to grasp her hair in his fist. Eric broke the deep kiss to place dozens of tiny ones from her lips to her jawbone and back. “Never doubt your allure, Madeline. If I was any more interested in you, I’d embarrass myself.”
“Eric,” she moaned softly when she felt his fingertips touch the sensitive skin at the knap of her neck.
“Hmmm?” he hummed, lowering his face just enough to kiss the soft curve of her neck.
“You don’t really want to be doing this…” she whimpered. “Not with me. Your wife…”
“Has been gone for a very long time. As my brother has been telling me for ages, it’s far past time for me to move on with my life. It’s what Vic would have wanted for me.”
“If that’s true, you could have any woman you wanted,” she sighed when he moved his lips to her shoulder after pushing the fabric of her shirt away to bare the skin. “You’re a very good looking man; and a cowboy to boot. Any woman would be lucky to have you,”
“Ah, but see, I don’t want just any woman,” he told her, smiling as he moved his hands under the edge of her shirt to touch the heated skin at her waist, moving them slowly upwards so they were resting just under her bra.
Before Madeline got a chance to say anything else, Eric claimed her lips in another hot kiss; his thumbs both moving to brush over the hardened tips of her sensitive nipples. Unable to fight the need within her, Madeline arched her back to thrust her heavy breasts further into his hands.
“I’ve wanted this almost from the first moment I saw you,” he admitted hoarsely; moving his mouth against her temple to kiss her there. “But I was so afraid of what it all meant.”
“And now?” she whimpered; her whole body shaking with anticipation.
“Now, I realize I’m not strong enough to fight it,” he admitted, moving his face just far enough away from hers to look her straight in the eyes. “And I don’t want to.”
Madeline whimpered as he looped his arm under her legs and lifted her up against his chest. “Eric… please…”
He tensed in his steps and closed his eyes in agony. “Please don’t tell me that this thing I feel is one sided…”
“Of course not,” Madeline admitted shyly. “I just need you to be sure. You know I’ve never…”
“I swear I’ll be gentle,” he promised, still refusing to put her down.
“But will it be forever? Because I swore to myself, if I ever went there with a man, that was what it would mean. Besides… I have Lillie Rose to think about now.”
“You know as well as I do, that I’m crazy about our daughter,” Eric said huskily, his lips moving to caress the skin just behind her ear. “And believe me when I say, this is not something I enter into lightly either. You are only the second woman I’ve ever even kissed.”
His feet began to eat up the distance between where they’d been standing and his bedroom and all Madeline could do was whimper some more, because he was kissing her again; making her head spin and her heart hammer so hard in her chest, she was half stunned it hadn’t beat it’s way right out of her body.
They fell back on the bed and clothes were flying as Eric fumbled to get them out of his way. The soft moans of pleasure that were coming from Madeline’s throat had him on the edge of desperation. Every couple of seconds, he had to stop stripping her to kiss a bit of exposed flesh. When he got between her legs, he took his time worshiping the heated folds he found there.
“When I saw our daughter pass through here, I was deeply ashamed,” he admitted thickly. “Even as she was being born, all I could think about was touching you here, like this” he told her, running his callused finger over the moist lips. “Kissing you…” he said, brushing his lips briefly over where he wanted so badly to spend endless hours worshiping her. “Sinking into that heated core,” he finally murmured, looking up at her eyes, thinking again just how beautiful and special this woman was. It was still hard for him to believe he actually had her here in his bed like this at long last. There had been so many hours, he’d spent dreaming of seeing her sprawled out; her beautiful tanned skin against the bleached white sheets of his bed. The reality was so much better than the images that had played through his imagination; it was all he could do to remember to take this slow for her sake.
Madeline whimpered again and gripped his hair in a tight fist, holding him firmly against her heated core; praying for the strength to survive the intense need she was feeling for completion. When he touched his tongue to the tiny hole where their daughter had emerged, her hips bucked up off the bed in response and a gasp of surprise was the only sound she could make as her body began to threaten to spiral out of control.
When he stopped to bring his face back up her hers, all Madeline could do was moan. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist as he hovered over her, her tongue frantically invading his mouth. She felt completely out of control as she turned her head slightly and saw his cowboy hat sitting on top of his dresser.
“Eric,” she cried out, clawing his back with her fingernails and tightening the grip her thighs had around his waist. “Please…” she begged, rotating her hips to press her heated core against his raging erection.
He groaned and leaned his forehead against hers, trying to calm his need for her. “I can’t,” he groaned, wishing to God he didn’t have to put a stop to things. “I have nothing to protect you. Besides; you’re still healing… I had no business starting this with you in the first place, right now. I couldn’t help myself…” A deep moan escaped him when she reached for his manhood and stroked it, momentarily making him contemplate taking her, regardless of lack of protection and her still sore birth canal. “You are my kryptonite,” he admitted when she moved his erection directly over her core, trying to line him up for a straight shot to Heaven. One tiny little thrust, and he’d be buried right where he most wanted to be; but he couldn’t do it. She was too special. Too important. The first time he took her, it needed to be everything she’d ever hoped or dreamed of. Anything less would be unacceptable.
“Maddie, please,” he begged when she pressed the engorged head of his penis against her tight opening, rubbing it over her moist folds. “I’m not strong enough,” he admitted, gritting his teeth and gripping the sheet tightly in both hands to keep from touching her. “I have to protect you … keep you safe.”
“I already gave birth to your daughter,” she whispered sexily in his ear. “I know it’s a bit backwards, but I feel like I missed out on the best part of being your daughter’s mother. Having another of your children wouldn’t be the most horrendous thing that ever happened to me. If I get pregnant again, we’ll deal with it,” she offered, reaching up and licking his neck, making him groan loudly all over again.
“You’re still in pain … still healing from having Lillie Rose,” Eric groaned, rolling to the side of her; forcing himself to put a little distance between them. “The last thing I want is to risk giving you an infection because it was too soon. I already buried one woman I loved … Please … Try to understand where I’m coming from,” he begged; closing his eyes and trying desperately to bring his body back under control.
Madeline was still breathing heavily and her brain was a fog of desire, so it took her a few minutes before what he’d said, finally sunk in and she turned her head to stare at him with wide disbelieving eyes. “Did… Did you just say love?”
Eric nodded his head and rubbed his hand slowly over his face, trying to hide his vulnerability from her. “I didn’t MEAN for it happen,” he was quick to tell her, in hopes that she would understand. “I tried like Hell not to let it. At first, I felt so damn guilty for the way I felt about you … Like I was cheating Victoria in some w
ay. Jeff was relentless, trying to get me to see reason, but I was stubborn about it. Dug my boots in real good, like any true cowboy does when he’s facing trouble. I’m telling you, some of those bulls my idiot brother rides tend to be less stubborn than I can be. But I learned a valuable lesson,” he said chuckling.
“What’s that?” she asked, snuggling into his embrace.
“I can be as stubborn as a damn mule, but my heart doesn’t care one bit about fear or determination not to fall. It would seem that I have one particular body part that is stronger than the rest of me … and you, my dear, seem to be in complete control of it.”
Lillie Rose cried in the other room and Eric laughed. “Correction … you and our daughter.”
Madeline smiled widely and pulled the robe that was draped across the end of his bed onto her body. “I’ll go. It’s probably better if I head back to my own bed for the night anyways, given your feelings about waiting…”
“It’s just until I know it’s safe for you,” he assured her quietly; his eyes not leaving hers so that she could read the truth in his words.
Unable to respond, Madeline nodded her head and ran down the hall to the nursery. She had no idea if she should trust Eric with her heart or not, but the way she saw it, she didn’t have much of a choice. She’d already fallen for him. And hard. His noble insistence that they wait to be together until she was healed, despite the intensity of his desire had been the last nail in that coffin. There was no going back now.
Chapter 15
The next few weeks leading up to Madeline’s six week checkup seemed to drag on forever. Eric was spending more time outside with the animals than he had before he’d given in to the need to kiss her the first time and with every day that went by, she found that she missed him a little bit more.
After the exam was over and they arrived back at the ranch, he tugged her into his arms. “What do you say, we put Lillie Rose down for a nap?” he asked huskily, leaning down and nibbling seductively on her earlobe.
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